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“Magnus Bane.... will you marry me?”
Magnus looks down at Alec, on one knee in the middle of the fancy restaurant they’d picked for dinner, surrounded by a crowd of excited patrons all holding their breath and awaiting his answer. He’s tearing up, and Alec smiles with that familiar mischievous twinkle in his eyes as Magnus presses a hand over his heart and nods, throwing himself at Alec and wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.
He laughs into Alec’s neck as the restaurant erupts in applause, and Alec presses a kiss to his lips as the host emerges with a bottle of wine and announces, “Dinner will be on us tonight for the happy couple!”.
The kiss seems to go on forever, but it’s still not enough in Magnus’ opinion. Alec eventually pulls away and reaches for the box which had been discarded onto the table when he’d had to use his hands to grab Magnus, lest they both be thrown to the floor. He looks into Magnus’ eyes and slips the ring onto his finger, and Magnus feels the same twisting ache in his heart that he always does.
They’ve only been doing this a few months, and each time he swears it hurts just a little bit more. But he’s never had the heart to tell Alec that he’d like to stop pretending to get engaged in fancy restaurants to get free meals and expensive wine, because then he’ll never get to experience having Alec propose to him at all . And even worse, Alec would want to know why, and since Magnus can’t ever lie to him, he’d have to explain that he’s madly in love with Alec and most definitely lose Alec as a best friend, something that he isn’t willing to risk.
So Magnus suffers through each night that they do this, for the few seconds where his heart tricks him into thinking that it’s real, before his brain plays catch up and he realizes that it’s not.
Alec grabs him by the waist and pulls him into another kiss.
As they arrive back at their shared apartment later, Magnus slips off the ring and Alec takes it with a smile that makes Magnus’ heart shatter into a thousand pieces.
“So… any other restaurants you want to scam into free food?”
It’s a lazy Sunday evening when Alec throws the question in Magnus’ direction from where he’s lounging on the couch, playing idly with the pages of a book he’s been pretending to read for an hour.
Magnus glances up at him, and then at the safe in the corner where he knows the ring is.
It’s on the tip of his tongue to say no . He doesn’t think he can handle even one more night of a fake engagement. But the prospect of never having it again and losing Alec completely in the process is even worse, so Magnus says yes .
“We’re gonna go through all the restaurants in the city, at this rate.” Magnus teases, two weeks later on their walk home from yet another proposal.
Alec grins, “You saying you think we should stop?”
Magnus’ step falters just a bit, but it’s enough that Alec notices.
“Magnus?”
“Nothing.” Magnus says quickly, shaking his head, “I just... nothing.”
“...Do you? Think we should stop?”
“Do you? ”
It’s more aggressive than he means it to be, and Alec recoils, his hands that had been bracing Magnus’ falling to his side. Magnus stares at the ground and hates himself all the more.
“What’s going on?” Alec says after a while.
Magnus grits his teeth. His annoyance with Alec is completely unfounded, and yet he can’t help the way he wants to scream at him, because Alec is one of the most perceptive people he knows and yet-
“Let’s just go home.” Magnus says, and he walks off without waiting for a reply.
“I’m sorry.” Alec says that night. It’s several hours after their fight, and Magnus has long since gone to bed. He was unable to fall asleep though, and from the way Alec has been shuffling around the apartment all night, he was as well.
Magnus waits a few seconds, but of course Alec doesn’t move because he knows Magnus too well and knows that he isn’t asleep. Finally, Magnus sighs and sits up in his bed. Alec is at the door, standing awkwardly on the threshold.
“I’m sorry.” He repeats, “I hate it when you’re mad at me, Magnus.”
Magnus feels hollow, but there isn’t anything he wants more right then than Alec.
“Come here.” He says softly, and Alec immediately complies, shutting the door behind him as he does.
Alec climbs into the bed and curls himself around Magnus, pulling him into an embrace.
“I love you.” Alec says into Magnus’ hair, “You’re the best friend anyone could ask for.”
“I love you, too.” Magnus whispers. He hopes he does a good job of keeping his voice steady.
Alec reaches for Magnus’ hand, and Magnus only has a moment to panic before Alec pauses, realizing that Magnus is still wearing the ring he’d forgotten to take off. He expects Alec to call him out on it, probably to pull away from him, but Alec does neither. Instead, he only pulls Magnus closer, tugging the duvet up and over them.
Somehow, this hurts more.
Alec doesn’t suggest going out to a restaurant again. A month passes and Magnus actually finds himself considering taking the ring out of the safe himself, just so he can see it. He very nearly does, but manages to refrain.
The next time he sees it isn’t until two months after their fight, and their last restaurant scam. Magnus had almost begun to think he was in the clear, but he and Alec are sitting on the balcony having dinner one night when Alec says,
“I wanted to ask you something.”
Magnus’ heart skips several beats.
“Sure,” He says, “What is it?”
Alec bites his lip and looks away, the faint hint of a blush creeping up his neck.
“I just… ever since we stopped… you know .”
Magnus does know, or at least he assumes he does, but he raises a brow anyway for Alec to elaborate and reaches out for his wine glass.
“After we stopped doing the fake proposal thing.” Alec confirms, still avoiding looking Magnus in the eye, “I was just… I’ve been thinking-”
“You want to do it again?” Magnus asks, attempting to put them both out of their misery. Alec shakes his head.
“No. No, I don’t. But I… I realized something.” He says.
Magnus puts a hand over his, “Alexander-”
“I liked doing it.” Alec interrupts. He’s fully blushing now, and it would be adorable if Magnus wasn’t so confused as to why .
“...I don’t understand.” He says slowly. He had thought he was in the clear. He doesn’t
“I liked making you that happy.” Alec continues.
“You always make me happy, Alexander.” Magnus says. It’s an automatic response, but a true one nonetheless, “What are you-”
“I’m not saying this correctly.” Alec says. He runs a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated with himself, “I had a whole thing planned. I just. I wanted it to be perfect for you-”
“Alec, is something wrong?” Magnus asks, “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”
Alec frowns, “I know.”
“Then what are you-”
“Hang on a second.” Alec says, “I… I need to get something.”
Alec is up and out of his chair before Magnus has a chance to ask any more questions, and he watches as Alec hurries inside, staring after him, baffled but slightly amused.
He isn’t gone long, and returns in less than a minute holding a small velvet box in his hands. Magnus’ breath catches as he stares at it.
“Alec-”
“Wait. I need to tell you this.”
“But, Alec-”
“I’m not proposing or anything.” Alec teases lightly, but his small smile doesn’t meet his eyes, “Or well… maybe I am.”
“I’m not-”
“Magnus.” Alec quiets him with a laugh, “Please?”
Magnus wants to object. Whatever Alec has planned with this ring is some kind of sick joke the universe is playing on him. He was in the clear . All that ring is is a reminder of what he can’t have, of what he’ll never have. But it’s Alec, and Magnus is unable to ever deny him anything, so he simply nods mutely and watches as Alec slips back into his chair and places the box on the table between them.
Several long minutes stretch out in silence between them, so much that Magnus considers saying something again, but just as he’s about to, Alec takes his hand, looks into his eyes, and says;
“Would you want to be my boyfriend?”
It’s so soft that Magnus almost misses it, and when he does catch it, his brain simply refuses to process it. He stares dumbly, unable to formulate an actual response, and Alec simply watches him and waits for him to gather himself with the most earnest and sincere expression that Magnus is sure he’s literally dead, and that this is his own personal hell.
There’s no other explanation that could make sense of this moment.
“What?” Is what he finally manages to choke out.
“Ever since we stopped doing our fake-proposal thing, Magnus, I’ve been thinking non-stop about the way you look when I got down on one knee. And I couldn’t stop thinking that I wanted to see that again, but… for real .”
Magnus’ mouth is dry, opening and closing in a look that he’s sure looks ridiculous, but it’s the most he can manage to do because words have completely evaded him.
“I understand if you don’t feel the same way.” Alec says quietly “But I needed to ask you, anyway. Because it’s been killing me.”
Magnus blinks. If he doesn’t-
“Alexander.” Magnus breathes, “You…
absolute
- how long have you…?”
“I… I’m sure that I’ve been in love with you since the day we met, Magnus. But I didn’t want to admit it to myself until a few months ago. I didn’t want to make you feel pressured into anything. I know you probably only think of me as a friend and that’s okay-”
“Alec.” Magnus stops him, “ Of course I’m in love with you.”
Alec freezes, and his mouth falls open with a soft, “ Oh .”
Magnus laughs, because what else is there to do?
“I’ve been in love with you since we met, too.” Magnus says, “God, I’ve been falling madly, ridiculously in love with you every single day.”
“Magnus-”
But Magnus doesn’t wait, he stands and crosses the short distance to Alec, bending down to tangle his fingers in Alec’s hair and pressing their lips together in the kiss he’s wanted since the last one he got two months ago. Alec tastes sweet, like the wine they just drank, and it’s a heady experience, kissing him like this. Not in front of a crowd, not as a lie, but as something real .
When they finally pull away from each other, Alec’s eyes are full of love and he’s watching Magnus like he’s just really seeing him for the first time, like Magnus is the most beautiful thing Alec has ever laid eyes on and he can’t get enough. Magnus is quite familiar with the feeling.
“I love you.” Alec whispers, resting his forehead against Magnus’, “I love you, so much.”
And Magnus, who is still slightly convinced that this is a dream and he’ll wake up any moment, says, “I love you, too.”
The ring glitters on the table besides them.