Work Text:
It started out as a favor.
Taehyung was with him in his room, a bag of chips placed conveniently on his lap as he played another round of Mario Kart on his console. Jungkook idly watches him as he finishes in second place, his hands busy stuffing his mouth with the chips and not really caring about the crumbs he's leaving on his bed.
"So," Taehyung looked up to him, opening his mouth for a chip. Jungkook fed him without missing a beat. "You should spend your birthday with Jiminie."
"Huh? Why?" Jungkook furrowed his brows and pouted, taking three chips and stuffing them in his mouth at the same time.
"He thinks you don't like him that much," Taehyung pouted, face all serious before he started another game. "If you spend your birthday with him, he'll feel less insecure about it."
Jungkook wanted to pipe in and say that (1) he's not responsible for Jimin's insecurities, and (2) it's his goddamn birthday and he can spend it with whomever be pleased. It's not that he had plans, given that most of their days are packed with activities, but Jungkook knew from his manager that they have somewhat given him at least two weeks off as a present.
So why should he give up all that for Park Jimin?
"I like him," Jungkook quipped, pretending to pick crumbs on his shirt to not look at Taehyung.
"Kook-ah, you know how Jimin is," Tae frowned and stopped the game. He sat up from his position on Jungkook's lap and looked at him. Shit, Jungkook thought, this has gotten way too serious.
"So?" Still, it's his birthday. He should not be spending it with someone he doesn't want.
Well. Not that he doesn't really want to spend it with Jimin. It's just that when he's with Jimin, he just gets so flustered sometimes. Jimin always had a habit of being too shameless for the cameras, often flirting with the others and it just seemed to heighten when it's with Jungkook. Maybe it's because he's younger, but Jungkook often finds himself making up these excuses to cover the fact that he likes how shameless Jimin is to him.
So being skeptic about spending his birthday with Jimin may more or less be because he has a stupid crush on his hyung.
Jungkook felt Taehyung shrug and he realized that he was talking "--you guys just don't bond as much, you know. He complained to me once about it. So maybe try it out? This can be like...your birthday gift to me."
He knows it's a lost cause. Taehyung asking for favors is a rare occurrence in itself so Jungkook knows how his hyung is seeing this as an important matter. He sighed and whipped his phone, grunting in affirmation when Tae sat up straight and asked him if he's doing it with wide eyes and a boxy grin, Jungkook's hands busy in typing out the details and filling out the information before he finalized his purchase.
Two tickets to Tokyo, booked for August 27 to September 2. He flashed the screen to Taehyung with a small glare, making the older one smile even wider, eyes mischievous.
"You know," Tae started, eyebrows wiggling. "I did just mean a day, right?"
Jungkook groaned and kicked a laughing Taehyung off the bed.
--
When July came to an end, he knew that he had to tell Jimin about the tickets. It was a miracle in itself that Taehyung has kept his mouth shut about it this whole time, as someone who actively shares everything with his ChimChim.
Apart from the nerves of telling Jimin about their trip, Jungkook just couldn't get the right opportunity. Bangtan was bound for a break and they were shooting and recording and rehearsing with the little time left, to the point that Jungkook hardly sees his hyungs apart from the time spent together filming and recording.
So when he lounged on the kitchen during the wee hours of the morning and found Jimin just entering the dorms, he knew he had to tell him.
"Jungkook-ah," Jimin greeted him as soon as he saw him, a hand on the door as he struggled to remove his boots by the doorway. "Could you make me a cup too?"
He nodded and fixed his hyung a cup of his own, the sweetness of the hot choco wafting through the air. Jimin plopped himself on a bar stool and sat in silence, watching as Jungkook prepared his cup. It was oddly cold for July, the windows left halfway open to let in the cool breeze, and Jimin thanked him as he wrapped his small hands on the cup and smiled as he drank.
Jungkook stood across from his hyung as they drank their hot chocolate in silence, wondering just how tired Jimin must be to not talk. Somewhere along the way, Jimin has mellowed down on his teasing and his brazenness, the touching and the clinging toning down as the years went.
Jungkook misses it sometimes. But he also doesn't mind the calm that is the Park Jimin in front of him.
"Spend your break with me."
Jungkook dropped his head in embarrassment for his sudden outburst, seeing in the periphery of his vision how Jimin sat up straighter and gazed at him in surprise. He started fidgeting and internally cursing himself for blurting it out with not much context, waiting until his hyung got his bearings and asked him for more details.
He just didn't expect Jimin to brush his hair aside and tilt his face up, a surprised yet questioning smile on his face.
"What did you mean, Jungkookie?" Jimin asked kindly, making Jungkook smile a bit before he explained the tickets. Jimin had always been the kindest out of all of them, the first one to rush to a member's side during bursts of emotion, first to dry one’s tears, first to hug. Jungkook relished this softness in the past and he is relishing it still, his tongue wetting his lips before he blurted out his explanation.
And Jimin just sat there as he explained the tickets he bought, as he shifted his gaze and mumbled softly how he wanted his hyung to join him on this trip, and before Jungkook could even sabotage his monologue with stutters on Jimin having the ability to say no, Jimin pinched his cheeks and smiled his famous cheeky smile and said yes.
Jungkook got so excited with his hyung's response that he barely even touched his hot chocolate for the rest of the night.
- -
Park Jimin had always been, and always will be, a perfectionist.
This is why Jungkook gave him free reign on their itinerary, knowing his hyung would lose his head if things didn't go as planned. And he liked it, how excited Jimin was to spend time with him. A part of Jungkook thinks back on what Taehyung said, how Jimin often thought that Jungkook disliked him, and that set a discomfiting feeling in his stomach. Which was, in his head, very very far from the truth.
"Jungkook? Don't you like it?"
Jungkook whipped his head and blinked, watching his hyung look at him in concern, the Excel sheet of their itinerary flashed on his laptop screen. "You were kinda glaring at the screen."
"Ahh...no hyung," Jungkook bit his nails and shook his head. "I like it, that sounds fantastic."
Jimin sighed in relief and smiled, "We just have to go at night to avoid crowds, you know. And to avoid getting spotted by fans..."
Jungkook zoned out again as Jimin explained the rest, his hands slowly rubbing the back of his hyung's neck. He watched as Jimin smiled as he scrolled through the document, detailing the things he wanted them to try, like that underground restaurant in Shibuya—
Jeon Jungkook does not dislike Park Jimin.
Not one bit.
- -
The air was cold and smelled oddly like blossoms as they left the airport, hailing a cab and stating the address in perfect Japanese. Jimin watches as the rain slowly drizzles amidst the Tokyo traffic and Jungkook whipped his camera, capturing moments as he often did during their travels.
"Kook-ah," Jimin cooed as he shot the windshield of their cab. "Am I your muse?"
Jungkook smiled and playfully turned the camera to him, laughing so hard when Jimin makes such an ugly face.
They decided to stay in Ginza, a familiar hotel they often frequented with the other members. It felt familiar, secure--and Jungkook could even remember the stupid things he did with Tae and Jin-hyung at the elevator a few months back, how Namjoon-hyung forgot his luggage at the lobby that one time, and how Hoseok-hyung once wore mismatching slippers into the elevator in his haste to get on with the others.
Their room was modest: a king-sized bed, a bathtub, a fairly large closet space. Jimin called the left side by plopping down with his shoes on, irking Jungkook and making him wrestle it off his feet. They called for additional pillows and ordered their first meal of the trip, the television on as they lied next to each other in relative silence.
It is during moments alone with Jimin that Jungkook notices how less talkative Jimin gets. He's not exactly quiet, with his incessant humming as he plopped his head on Jungkook's shoulder, yet words don't seem to speed out of his mouth as much as it does when a camera is on them. Jungkook relishes this subdued side of him, loves how he sees it in their most private moments, and sometimes, he wonders if Jimin is like this with the others, too.
He kinda doesn't want him to be.
"So what do you wanna do for your birthday?"
Jimin flipped through the channels and landed on a NatGeo documentary on wombats.
"I left that day kinda blank," Jimin admitted as he watched the animals bounce about, the English narrator droning on facts they could barely understand.
"Eat," Jungkook replied with a smile, getting a pinch on his side. "Yah!"
"You sound like Jin-hyung, aish," Jimin complained before playfully kicking him in the shin. "What else apart from eating, you dumbass?"
Jungkook stuck his tongue against his cheek, thinking. He quirked his head before breaking into a big smile, sitting up straight and looking at Jimin.
"Disneyland."
Jimin blinks, then narrows his eyes. Jungkook laughs.
"Come on, Jiminie," Jungkook teases, his hands finding Jimin's cheeks and pinching them. "The rides aren't that extreme."
"Jimin-hyung," Jimin scolds, to which Jungkook rolls his eyes.
"Well, you did ask," he grins wider as he stretches Jimin's cheeks a bit more. Jungkook moved closer and tilted Jimin's head to the side, his nose brushing against his hyung's ear as he whispered. "Jimin...hyung."
Jimin pushes him away and makes a beeline for the bathroom, grumbling about disrespect and the necessity of getting out of bed. Jungkook laughs aloud.
- -
Their Tokyo experience heavily relied on them being nocturnal.
It was a sound strategy, one that they have often done in their individual travels. Stay in during the day, travel at night. It often oddly worked for Western countries, where stores close before the night even breaks, but the bustling night life of Asia often helped in this quest for anonymity.
Tokyo, it seems, thrives so much at night.
They slept most of their days, waking almost past lunch time. They mostly venture out as dusk hits, the itinerary engraved on Jimin's head. Jungkook brings his camera and shoots as they bustle through the crowds of Shibuya, as Jimin shops his way through the labels in Ginza, as they visit some underground jazz bar in Asakusa. He laughs when Jimin had his money eaten by a ramen vending machine, the elder slapping him in the arm as they tried to retrieve their money and crying out how he wished Taehyung was here to save them with his perfect Japanese.
As the night grew deeper, they found themselves buying cheap liquor in convenience stores and drinking along riverbanks, their laughter so vibrant and carefree.
"Jungkook-ah," Jimin came from behind him and wrapped his arms around his neck, breath smelling of booze and Pocky. "Thank you."
Jungkook doesn't even know if he said it back.
- -
Their nights often blurred in the same manner, the Tokyo chill a quiet and welcome companion as they brave the streets. On the eve of his birthday, a few fans recognized them along Harajuku and, thankfully, they were kind enough to back off after a few pictures. Jimin gently tugged Jungkook towards a back-alley road and had him enter a cab, his own bucket hat placed on his dongsaeng's head in an endearing way of trying to protect him from further recognition.
"Let's just stay in today," Jimin said as they rode through the early evening Tokyo traffic and Jungkook nodded.
He didn't try to pry Jimin's hand away, playing with the hair on his nape the whole time.
- -
When Jungkook got out of the shower, he didn't expect Jimin to be watching the screen so intently. He dried his hair and looked through the assortment of convenience store-bought goods they got, finding an open bag of chips near his hyung's feet and smelling it before digging in.
"What're you watching?"
It was, apparently, an old Korean drama from the early 2000s. Jungkook was never really knowledgeable of the older ones and Jimin kept on hushing him when he asked, so when Rain-sunbaenim's face flashed the screen, Jungkook was oddly caught in pleasant surprise.
"Wow," he whistled before stuffing his face with more chips, his head now resting on Jimin's lap. They were still splayed on the carpeted floor, an assortment of snacks littered beside them as they watched. "Didn't know he could act."
Jimin scoffed and opened his mouth, to which Jungkook automatically stuffed three chips into.
"He couldn't," Jimin chewed as he watched, not even bothering to tear his eyes from the screen. "I still had a crush on him, though."
Jungkook could feel the way Jimin stiffened when he said that, his posture straightening and his hands shifting away from where they were placed near Jungkook's shoulder. A part of him knew about Jimin's sexual preferences, he knew that he was one of the reasons why Namjoon-hyung started catapulting Bangtan into an image shift, yet, Jimin never actually told him. And it pained Jungkook, how he never really got to be on the side of the group who knew. A part of him even got jealous and bitter that Jimin wouldn't think him trustworthy.
And now, here he is, baring out his secret and feeling so afraid of what Jungkook might do. And Jungkook just wants to hug him so tightly and assure that it's okay and that he doesn't mind.
But he knew Park Jimin better than that.
"Hm, I see the appeal, though," Jungkook watched the screen and dares not look at Jimin's face, his eyes fixed on Rain-sunbaenim as he tried so hard to cry on demand. "Kim Soohyun-ssi was my personal gay awakening."
Jimin's surprised laugh had Jungkook smiling in return and he gladly listened as Jimin enumerated the reasons why Rain-sunbaenim was, and always will be, superior.
Jungkook oddly didn't mind.
- -
Jimin woke him up a little bit earlier than necessary, dragging the duvet off his body and continuously patting his bum as he sings him a happy birthday song. Jungkook grumbled how birthday boys should be left to sleep and Jimin just laughed, calling him a Yoongi, and continued to sing his lungs out. Jungkook growled and dragged him by the wrist into the bed, rolling over and pinning him down without even opening his eyes, caging Jimin in as he slowly drifted back to sleep.
"Five more minutes," he grumbled as he cuddled his hyung, earning am exasperated "Yah!", followed by soft hands playing with his hair.
They got up two hours later.
- -
As Jungkook wanted, they went to Disneyland for his birthday.
It was odd, in a way, how he has travelled across countries and continents yet never found the time to set foot on a single Disneyland. As a child, and as a young adult, Jungkook had an affinity for theme parks--loving the colors, the rides, the kitsch landscapes that often warped one's realities. A part of him always yearns to be a kid, to have the freedom to eat cotton candy and ride a rollercoaster, a picture with Mickey even. For half his life and most of his formative years, Jeon Jungkook has been thrusted into a world of crafted imagery and cameras trailing behind him and in front of him, and a part of him breaks in thinking how much of childhood he had to let go of.
So maybe setting foot on Disneyland has made him a little bit too giddy, dragging Jimin towards the first ride they see and filming him as they sat on a spinning teacup.
And Jimin rolled with it. Jungkook knew how much his hyung hated rides, especially the ones designed not for the feint of heart. Yet as Jungkook dragged him from one queue line to the next, Jimin just smiled and let himself be manhandled despite the continuous complaints and whining. He even got Jimin to ride a baby coaster, where he found Jimin's screaming a little bit too ridiculous and it had him laughing so hard that he cried. Jimin got him a Wizard hat and he got Jimin a huge Mickey headband, camera rolling as they strolled aimlessly in Disneyland on a cold September night.
And neither even realized the fireworks until the sky was blazing, the two of them too enamored with their conversations and gigantic cotton candy for it to matter. The fireworks were nothing compared to their concerts yet Jungkook oddly finds it captivating, making him feel bolder as he took his hyung's hand and held it tight.
"Thank you, hyung."
He dared not look away from the colorful sky to see what Jimin looked like looking at him.
- -
Their flight home was on the wee hours of the morning, the two of them stumbling into their hotel and packing their bags as soon as they got back from Disneyland. They almost missed their check-in by a few minutes and found themselves rushing towards the boarding gates, huffing and puffing as they slid into their respective seats. Jimin scolded him for booking return flights so early and Jungkook just teased him for being out of shape, their banter evolving into laughter and slowly dying as the plane started to ascend.
The morning sun peaking through the clouds mid-flight woke Jungkook up, nose scrunching as he gazed outside the small plane window. He took out his camera and filmed the stillness of the clouds, smiling before turning to his hyung to call his attention.
Jimin was sleeping, face slack and halfway covered by a Chimmy sleep mask, lips parted in slow deep breathing.
Jungkook took a picture, tucked his camera back into his bag, and watched Jimin sleep for the rest of the flight home.
- -
It was three weeks after their trip that Namjoon found him alone after a recording and told him how proud he was of Jungkook.
"You were just so stiff with Jimin sometimes, you know," Namjoon explained when Jungkook probed. "It was a good thing you spent time together to sort things out."
A few days later, Taehyung confirmed it, too.
"I'm glad that trip worked out, Kook-ah," he patted him on the shoulder and proceeded to ruffle his hair. "You look happier. Heck, Jiminie is practically glowing. That trip definitely improved your relationship."
And it did. He started seeking Jimin out more, coaxing him to spend time with him and following him around for Bangtan Bombs. He would often place himself beside Jimin during their interviews and even joined him for a few lives afterwards. And yet, a part of him has turned greedy for Jimin, wanting more than what it was that they have started becoming. He wished for those soft private moments, sometimes ending up dreaming of Jimin's sleeping face at night only to wake up alone in his bed. It was a constant ache, a fierce longing, that has started developing in his heart as he continued to touch his hyung, his ears trying to capture every laugh, his eyes trying to burn every smile into memory, and as they move on the practice room, Jungkook knows how hyper-aware he is of Jimin all the time.
Jin-hyung even playfully jokes about it once, how the tables have turned and Jungkook is now the one seeking Jimin's affections and not the other way around.
Sometimes, he wonders when it all started. When the annoying teasing turned into seamless skinship, when their brazenness turned into tenderness. When he started craving for it, thirsting for those touches and smiles, wanting, yearning, pining—
It hardly mattered to Jungkook how it started, all that mattered was how it evolved.
And he's glad he bought those tickets, he's glad that Taehyung coaxed him into spending more time with Jimin, and he's glad with how they are progressing but Jungkook knows, in the deep recesses of his heart, that he wants more.
He wants Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin to exist as JungkookandJimin or JiminandJungkook—
And he knows that Jimin wants it too.
- -
"Hyung, will there be anyone superior to Rain-sunbaenim to you?"
"Aiyah, Kook-ah! No one's superior to him in my heart!"
"Not even Rachel McAdams?"
"Not even Rachel McAdams."
- -
There is something satisfying in seeing Jimin finish a bowl of food.
Jungkook stared at the footage of them eating at that wagyu place Taehyung recommended. It was a small hidden restaurant, placed on the basement of a small gallery within Ueno, which opened late in the evenings and served quality meats from the Kobe area. Jimin was sitting across from him in a table made for two and Jungkook could still remember how their knees bumped below the table, snippets of conversations about the other members, their songs, the stupid pigeon they saw outside the hotel earlier, and it didn’t really occur to Jungkook how he just left the camera rolling the whole time.
He watched as Jimin blew on the hot bowl of rice and ate with satisfying hums, watched him argue Jungkook behind the camera when he tried to take more pieces of meat, watched him laugh, watched him make random faces and it’s only when he caught himself watching Jimin burp that he realized how much time had passed with just him staring at the laptop screen.
Jimin had always been a weak eater, especially compared to him. There were times that he often picked on him for it and said that his weak eating was the reason why he never grew taller because, deep down, he knew how Jimin has gone to desperate lengths to battle his bodily insecurities to the point that it marginally destroyed his relationship with food.
And that made Jungkook’s heart ache more than it should.
He paused the video on a close-up shot of Jimin’s finished bowl. Pressed play and watched his hyung burp and laugh, shameless boyishness on full display.
Watching Jimin had always been satisfying.
--
It was a tedious task. It kept him up on most nights and Jungkook was so glad that he had a room to himself. It didn’t escape his hyungs’ attention how he often slept during car rides, or even during hair and makeup, and Jimin once cornered him in concern to ask him if he was sleeping well.
“I’m fine, Jimin-ah,” he grinned and plopped his head on top of Jimin’s, earning a protest and a shove on the chest. Jungkook could see the blush on Jimin’s face, mixed with frustration over his apparent lack of honorifics, and Jungkook could only throw his head back in laughter when Hoseok came in and asked why Jimin looked like an overripe tomato.
It never really mattered whether the day was filled with practice or recording, all Jungkook could think of was to get back in his dorm room and continue with this small private project of his. He played and rewinded and edited clips over and over, finding the proper timing and editing the frames one by one; sometimes, groaning in frustration when his laptop crashed over a transition change. There was a time when Namjoon entered his room, looking for something, and saw him hard at work, and Jungkook barely registered his hyung’s presence before the leader bent down and asked.
“What’s that?”
Jungkook slammed his laptop so hard and spun around, his mouth poised to say that it’s nothing before Namjoon narrowed his eyes and beat him to it.
“Is this what’s keeping you up at night?”
Jungkook bowed his head and bit his nails, a stupid nervous tic, and nodded his head.
“Jungkook-ah—”
“I-It’s a present,” he said, eyes determined as he met Namjoon’s eyes. “I…I want it to be perfect. A perfect present.”
And Jungkook saw it, the moment understanding dawned into Namjoon’s eyes. How his hyung’s lips parted in mild surprise, shoulders tense before he let out a breath. His eyes were soft, his smile gentle, and he slowly moved closer to Jungkook and ran his hands on his hair, pulling his head close to his chest in a silent admission of support.
“So, what song were you thinking of using?” Namjoon asked and Jungkook sighed in relief.
He didn’t even realize he was holding his breath this whole time.
--
Out of all of them, Park Jimin receives the most gifts for his birthday.
Out of all of them, Jeon Jungkook is the one member who doesn’t really give gifts for birthdays.
So when Jungkook handed Jimin what seemed like a mixtape, complete with a cover, in the middle of breakfast on Jimin’s birthday, everyone present in the room grew silent.
“Happy birthday, Jimin-hyung,” Jungkook greeted with a shy smile, hugging Jimin from behind and whispering something in his ear which made the other giggle in surprise and nod.
“Did Jungkook…just give a birthday gift?”
“Forget about the fucking gift, he called ChimChim hyung!”
--
They ended up watching the G.C.F. video (“Yah, Jungkookie, who thought you can make something this good!” “Why didn’t I get one for my birthday?”) with the other five members, cozy on their living room and a little bit rowdy. Jin ended up asking about the wagyu store and nagging Namjoon to take him, Yoongi lazily nodding in approval of the good shots, and Taehyung and Hoseok whining about wanting to go to Disneyland. Jungkook sat close to Jimin on the floor, quiet as his hyungs bantered and wowed him for his camerawork and his skills, and praised Jimin for his modelling. They played the video three more times and talked how Jungkook should upload this on their channel and maybe do another one for their upcoming Osaka trip--
“Jungkook-ah,” Jimin perched his chin on Jungkook’s shoulder. He could feel their bodies so close to each other, could feel Jimin’s hands taking his, his smaller fingers caressing the back of his hands as he waited for Jungkook to turn his gaze on him.
“Look at me, Jungkook-ah,” Jimin tilted his cheek and continued to hold his hands. Jungkook swallowed and gazed at Jimin.
His gaze was met with eyes vibrating with so much excitement, a smile so wide that Jimin’s cheeks puffed, his eyes almost closed. He was beaming so wide that Jungkook couldn’t help but smile as he looked at him, his happiness so intoxicating, so addictive, and Jungkook could feel his chest close to bursting because, God, how much he wants--
There was a note on the tape, a question.
“Hm?” He asked close to a whisper, eyes trying to catalogue every bit of Jimin’s face in such a close proximity, hands never leaving his hyung’s.
“I have a different answer now, you know,” Jimin whispered back, his eyes fluttering shut and his nose slowly caressing Jungkook’s neck.
“Yeah?” Jungkook pressed his face over Jimin’s head, heart beating steadily as he let Jimin fall a little bit closer.
“You know,” Jimin said with a laugh, his giggles light and airy—so carefree and so certain. And he does know. He knows that Jimin loves him as much as he does. He knows that Jimin would always be by his side. He knows that Jimin wants the same kind of moments, the same kind of gentleness, and the same kind of struggles as long as it was with him. Jungkook never thought it would be this easy, this seamless, and he could only melt closer to Jimin, lips pressed on the crown of Jimin’s head, eyes closed in inevitable acceptance.
“I know.”
--
"Hyung, can I be superior to Rain-sunbaenim to you?"
--