Chapter Text
first winter
it’s two days before christmas when seokjin finally understands what’s been bothering yoongi.
he’s there, in his own room, sitting on his brother’s bed, his own guitar on his legs, a bit too agitated and… it suddenly hits him. the poems, the melodies. they’re not “just because”, like he defined them. they're actually for someone. or, better, inspired by someone.
and he can read clearly who they’re for. seokjin doesn’t have dimples, after all.
and that’s the first secret he learns to keep from yoongi to not hurt him.
---
that’s quite a difficult winter for seokjin. in the same day he learned three things: one, love hurts. two, loving your best friend since middle school isn’t easy when you realize it. third, short boys are so damn cute.
he didn’t notice it before, but yoongi is really short. he needs help with everything. he needs help while cooking, in the library, at the cinema. seokjin even needs to fix the chair he sits in while gaming.
it’s not helpful.
“ah, yoongichi, you really need to get a tall boyfriend so you’ll stop bothering me all the time!”
yoongi blushes so much s thinks he’s chocking on something.
“y-yes, maybe i will,” he mutters.
and now they’re thinking both about him. the third party in the room. yoongi hasn’t confessed yet though. it may just be jealousy. maybe he’s simply projecting.
“ah, seokjin-hyung. could you pass me that book too?”
holy hell. short boys.
---
it’s almost spring when yoongi tells him about a younger boy he likes. he tells him how he threw him a shoe the first time they met, and how he almost kicked his ass, not knowing he was younger.
“it’s nothing serious though, just… maybe just a crush. he’s just clever and good looking.” you don’t write that much about “nothing serious”, seokjin thinks. yoongi looks even smaller now, babbling words. he never runs out of words.
but seokjin simply nods. it’s alright. some more months and his hair will change color, and he’ll start a life somewhere else, with someone else. the clock is ticking too slowly. or too fast. they’re running out of time, and it’s a good and bad thing altogether and seokjin doesn’t know if he's happy or sad. yoongi would know the answer, if only…
seokjin realizes something. a year from now their lives will be different. one last year of childhood.
second winter
it’s the 4th of december when seokjin wakes up with pink hair. he looks at his own reflection in the mirror, studying his face like it’s someone else’s. pink suits him, he decides. it gives his features a kinder look. maybe his cheek will look always flushed now. he looks like snow white. no, like a kindergarten teacher. the thought makes him smile.
yoongi has been wondering about the color all week long.
“every color would suit you, what if i end up with, i don’t know, platinum blond? how will i survive the music industry platinum blond?”
truth is, yoongi would look great blond. even with his freshly shaved undercut he still looks like an angry kitten you’d see on youtube, more than the rapper he’s trying to become.
yoongi’s hair are still black. he still has three whole months to ignore how everything will eventually fall apart.
seokjin opens up the cabinet and takes out the black hair dye. it’s better if yoongi doesn’t know.
---
“you know, i thought it was impossible to believe but you’re right. green isn’t for you, hyung.”
“brat. it’s not the color. it’s the sweater that’s horrible.”
“no, why. december nights are totally green, and surely there’s many reindeers flying by."
seokjin throws a candy at yoongi and keeps wrapping presents. “you wish you were as wise as me. you’re just a boy playing with fire. don't know anything about maturity.”
“okay old man, pass me the ribbons.”
“you guys are disgusting,” jungkook declares, lollypop in his mouth, not moving his eyes from the game he’s playing. “i can’t wait for his hair to change color too. this joke is already old,” he pause the game and points at them with the candy. “it’s been two weeks of this joke. i’ve had it.”
not even looking at each other, seokjin and yoongi throw him candies. “brat,” they shake their heads and go back to wrapping presents.
seokjin picks up a little box. “what’s this?”
he can see yoongi change color. “nothing. nothing, it’s just for namjoon."
it’s not like he hates namjoon. he just hates how he doesn’t understand what yoongi is giving him for christmas. they never kept secrets from each other.
beside… okay, maybe he’s keeping a couple of secrets from him as well.
---
he’s waiting for yoongi, just like he did on his birthday morning.
he thinks about the conversation they’ve had just hours before.
“i want you to be the first person to see me. beside you know, the family i live with.”
“what if you turn blond for real? you’ve been jinxing that a little.”
“please, hyung. shut up. i’m already very very scared.”
seokjin laughed at that. yoongi is rarely this nervous, they’ve been on the phone talking about this for hours.
“hyung?”
yoongi is rarely this nervous. he knows exactly what’s he’s going to say. it’s about-
“what if namjoon’s hair turn another color?”
seokjin thinks about it for a moment. namjoon and yoongi are very close by now. it’s not a simple frail crush anymore.
“then you have… a year and a half, more or less? a year and a half to live it like it’s forever. maybe it will actually turn out to be true, who knows? and if it’s not, you won’t have any regret.”
yoongi keeps quiet for a while. “maybe you should be the songwriter, hyung.”
it makes seokjin laugh. “go to bed, kid. you’re saying nonsenses, you’re tired.”
yoongi is walking towards him, gummy smile and hoodie on his head. when he notices seokjin looking back at him he takes it off.
“pink will suit namjoon, won’t it?”
third winter
yoongi really didn't consider how cold seoul can be in january in a cheap apartment.
he moved there to have bigger chances of making a living out of his music, and also because it really fucking hurt when namjoon’s hair turned red.
for a full, solid minute he doubted the color of his own hair. pink? maybe the light played with him. no, impossible. yoongi never makes mistakes.
that night he went straight to seokjin’ house. even jungkook didn't dare say anything. he just looked at him with that pitiful look you give to a pet with a broken leg and left the room to give them space. even fucking jungkook knew. everyone knew.
seokjin didn’t say anything either, that night. turned on the pc even if he had an early train to catch for a precasting thing the morning after and brought him water and tissues.
“not a word. i’ll destroy you, short guy.”
he smiles at the picture of them on the fridge. it’s funny, he only notices it now. seokjin has black hair and a large pink sweatshirt; he has cotton candy pink hair and dark clothes. whoever, looking at them, would assume yoongi is older. he looks the part, indeed. but s has been taking good care of him for years now.
his phone buzzes. as if he knew exactly what was in y’s mind, seokjin is here to cheer him up.
[told you platinum blond isn’t for anyone]. theres a picture of him in costume for the new movie he is starring in. he looks healthy.
---
the reviews are good, for a debut. a wonderful performance, they say. well, thank you very much. seokjin would scream it from the top of the world. yes, thank you for telling me i can act. thank you, i know well enough i can be a great fraud.
the good thing about living more than 200km apart from your best friend-slash-secret soulmate (jesus this is simply dumb. how did it even happen?) is that he can stop dyeing his hair for a while. the whole blond over bleached over former black over pink really ruined them. now he looks like a strawberry & cream double ice cream (thing that jungkook just can’t let go, for the record) but at least he’ll cut them soon enough.
---
yoongi comes back home a couple of days before his birthday. he has great news, finally. he still doesn't have a cd in the making but he was hired as a songwriter. it’s big, it can get bigger any day now. everything is good.
his heart suddenly stops. theres a man, on his same street, in his hometown. tall, broad shoulders. nice coat.
pink fucking hair.
he hears a noise, it’s his own luggage. yoongi picks it up again and the man is closer now, big smile on his lips.
“ah, yoongichi. i was the clumsy one back then!”
he looks at him and sees it. the future they could have had. how the shared memories of their teen years gain a shade of pink too. the two of them sitting on the same chair, him catching seokjin before he falls because the bus stopped too suddenly, seokjin lending him his jacket, too large for him, so big because he got extremely tall that year. the way seokjin smiles at him.
he needs to stop thinking about it, he needs to stop looking at him that way. but he simply can't for the pink of his hair reflects on his every detail, from how his eyes look darker now to how brighter his smile looks. is he really blushing or
it’s just…
“hyungie?”
he just nods. “crazy, mh? they need my hair pink for the next movie, so i tried your exact shade. apparently it fits me well, doesn't it?”
it does. it would be so easy. he would be so right for him.