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You wished your body wouldn't do this to you - but it did.
You trembled, biting back tears. You felt cold and alone, dozens of bad memories flooding your thoughts all at once. You took a shaky breath in an attempt to calm down, but it didn't work.
Suddenly, you heaved, a choked sob escaping your throat. You couldn't hold it in anymore. You writhed in your sheets, clawing at the fabric as tears streamed down your face. You tried to be quiet despite your borderline delirious state, you didn't want to wake anyone up -
Zuko threw your door open, sword in hand as he flicked his wrist at the candles and lanterns to light up the room.
You flinched back violently and sucked in a hard, quick breath in your surprise. You made eye-contact with Zuko before burying your face in your hands and sobbing harder. The last thing you had needed was a jump scare.
You heard Zuko's sword scatter to the floor. "Y/N!" He gasped and carefully crawled across your bed. He had thought someone broke in and attacked you. He awoke immediately to your crying - he was an extremely light sleeper. Always had been since his mother disappeared.
Zuko pulled you into his arms and you wasted no time clutching onto him. You buried your wet face into the thin material of the undershirt he wore to bed. He surveyed you for a moment before deciding that you weren't physically hurt. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" He asked softly, pulling you further into his chest as your sobs shook you.
You dragged your face across his shirt to try and dry your sticky cheeks. You tried to be present, feel Zuko's arms around you, the comforting way he rubbed your bicep. You pulled away slightly and sniffed, swallowing the mucus and ultimately coughing. Zuko patted your back. "I - " You tried to speak, voice weak and broken. "Really bad nightmare." You desperately sought out words that would summarize your state as succinctly as possible. "Flashbacks." You squeaked. The word itself brought a traumatizing event back to the forefront of your mind and whatever semblance of calm you managed to choke out your response was gone.
Zuko hugged you tight and your arms came around his neck so you could borrow into his throat. "It's okay." His warm hands stroked your upper back. "You don't have to talk about it."
You cried, your tears cooling the hot skin of Zuko’s neck. “It’s all too much.” You croaked. The flashbacks, the war, how you suddenly remembered your present responsibility as the Avatar’s allies - you were overwhelmed. You shook uncontrollably.
Zuko was utterly heartbroken at your state. He knew how you felt, in his own way. How helpless and scared these fits made one feel. Panic attacks are what his uncle called them. He tried to remember how his uncle would comfort him; Zuko had started to block out memories of his panic attacks once they stopped happening regularly. “It’s okay, you’re safe.” He whispered. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” He rocked you gently.
You took in his words, taking a deep breath. They made you feel warm inside, less alone and empty, but your thoughts were still difficult to control.
“Breathe with me.” Zuko said, pulling away to look down at you. You wanted to hide your face, you knew you were a complete and utter mess, but the genuine look in Zuko’s eyes made you nod your head.
Zuko slowly breathed in through his nose and you mimicked him through your trembling. You wiped your face with your forearm and released your breath when Zuko breathed out. He continued to coach you through your sniffling and hiccups and sobs and your head slowly started to clear.
You launched yourself back into Zuko’s arms. He thought for a moment he had done something wrong until you spoke. “You’re so sweet. No one’s ever done that for me.” You said weakly, voice still teary.
His arms came back around you. “Of course.” Panic attacks were hard. He never thought for a second to make someone suffer through one alone.
You pulled back and continued to dry your face. Zuko scrambled for a handkerchief and presented it to you. “Thanks.” You said simply before blowing your nose. Your eyes were sore and your sinuses felt stuffed. You made a mental note to stop rubbing your eyelids. “I’m sorry.” You mumbled suddenly.
Zuko looked shocked. “For what?”
“For waking you up and crying all over you.” You answered meekly.
“Don’t be. I thought you were in danger. And I’d never leave you alone while you’re hurting. I’ll always be here for you.”
His words struck you more strongly than you’d anticipated. You started sobbing again, but this time because you’d never felt so cared for.
Zuko held you again, worried. “What’s wrong? Did I say something?”
“No!” You squeaked through tears. “You’re just so nice it actually made me cry.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
You shook your head, giggling at his response.
Zuko continued to rub your back. “I’m your friend. I’m here when you need it.”
“You’re a really good friend.” You replied, giving him a small smile. He smiled back.
Suddenly, your fatigue hit you. You wanted nothing more than to be back asleep. However, the thought of having to do that alone disturbed you. You had just barely recovered from a panic attack, after all. “Would you stay here with me? For the night?” You looked at Zuko and became uncertain of your request. “I - I mean you don’t have to, especially after everything you’ve done -”
“Of course I’ll stay with you.” Zuko cut off your stammering. He brushed some hair from your forehand and out of your eyes. He smiled.
You smiled stupidly back and nodded. “Okay.” You began to get back into your sheets and move over to give Zuko room when you noticed he started to leave the bed. “No, you can sleep on the bed.”
Zuko turned to look at you. “You sure?”
“Mhm.” You hummed.
You sunk down into the pillows and watched Zuko settle down next to you and motion to snuff out the lanterns. You rolled on your side to face him and held out your arms. To your delight, Zuko gave you an awkward smile and pulled you into his chest. He held you tight, he never wanted you to feel unsafe again.
“G’night.” You mumbled into his chest.
“Good night.”