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Her car was oddly quiet as she drove to the high school, normally on such an event that she drove alone she would play music as loud as she could. But as her hands clenched painfully on her steering wheel, she knew she couldn’t deal with the noise today. She felt a small prick in the corner of her eye and the familiar urge to sob until she lay burning eyes and numb to the world, but she couldn’t yet.
She had been selfish, she knew that much, and it was time to put away such childish dreams of normality. She had come here to train, not fall in love. But she did. She fell deeply and madly, with a vampire. She knew it was odd for her kind to even be compatible with a Vampire, Muggle or magical otherwise, it simply didn’t match up- except for her it did. She should have known that something like this would have happened, her of all people especially, she herself had protested as best she could. She had been, in her own words, a heartless bitch to him.
And yet nothing she did seemed to spurn his fascination with her, or as it turns out his affections. When he asked her on a date she had fully intended to let him down that very night, lest he grew too attached to her. But under the candle lit restaurant in the nearby town of Port Angeles, she found herself consumed totally by him, captivated. At first she had been convinced it was simply the allure to the vampire but it grew into something more.
But she held back, she had to; what sane person would spout such nonsense as magic. She told him the bare minimum of her life, she was from England and had decided a change of scenery would be nice for the foreseeable future. He in turn had told her his own condensed life, his family- the kind and gentle Dr Father and House wife mother, the serious Jasper and Bubbly Alice, the Cold but warm Rosalie paired with the boisterous Emmet. She was glad for this that he had yet to reveal his family's secret to her. In her mind as long as he didn’t tell her that then she was perfectly justified to not tell him of her own secrets.
But then he did. He revealed his true nature, told her of the rebellious time when he fed off humans. He spoke of his families past and their own dietary needs. She had acted shocked, thankfully he was too wrapped in regret of past actions to notice the full extent of her ‘surprise’ but it was then that guilt had settled in her belly. He had bared his soul to her, revealed his darkness wholly and completely. And she had not returned these actions, not bothered to return with her own darkness. She ached to, but the last orders from the old headmaster revolved around in her head "it is better to live in guilt with a secret than to put those we love at risk". She had followed his orders to a T, all the while feeling as though she was drowning in her lies, by omission or outright.
She often caught Jasper looking at her inquisitively, on the days she spent too much time thinking of such things, but she quickly dispelled these feelings, locked them away, before he could delve too deeply. But now the time had come, she had to leave. The letter had come a few days ago, collect your things and deal with the business you had left, the time has come. Voldemort was on the move. When her eyes had fallen upon a Muggle plane ticket, lest any new friends wished to say goodbye at the airport, she knew it was time to end. She pulled into the lot and instead of parking in her regular space, next to the shiny Volvo, pulled into the space closest to the exit. She saw in her mirror the confused face of her love. He made his way over to her, a small smile on his face as though it was adorable what she had done. Her heart seemed to have given up her, as well as her body. She felt empty, numb.
She opened the door and looked up into his shining amber eyes, she pulled her gaze downwards memorising every inch of his face as it was now- content. “We need to talk” She said softly and his face switched from content to concern.
“What’s wrong” he immediately asked looking as though he would drag the Eiffel tower to her feet if she asked him too. “Come here” She said pulling him to the side, not by his hand which he had offered but by his arm. She faced him again and ached to kiss him softly one last time but she knew that if she began to do such things she would never tell him, she would never work the courage to speak the words “Amy, what’s wrong, please tell me” He said urgently, she could feel a small tear build in her eye.
“It’s over” She said suddenly, she tried the plaster method- tear it off in one fell swoop. Except it wasn’t over that quickly, his face crumpled and she felt knives stabbing her body. “What” He said quiet looking deep in her eyes and she worked her courage to meet his gaze not wavering from his eyes, not even as her soul shattered into pieces.
“Us” She said “It’s over…I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore” She needed him to hate her, she needed his family to despise her. Only then would they be safe.
“Amy…I love you” He said eyes screwing up and she knew if he could cry he would be “You’re the only one in my heart”
She laughed harshly, crying inside “Heart?” She said through her harsh laughter “It’s not even beating!”
“Please” He begged her and the noise alone broke her even more.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t-“ She stopped here and looked back in his eyes and knew the one thing that would finish this once and for all, the one thing she could say to him that would guarantee her he would never looked for her again “I could never love a monster like you” She said quietly, she turned around and walked past him and quickly looked at his family who were and equal stance of outraged (Jasper and Rosalie) and distraught (Emmet and Alice). She turned away from them and quietly joined the populace for the last time.
She had managed to avoid the Cullen’s for most of the day, she didn’t know if Edward was still in School Privately she imagined it would be easier for her if he had left as soon as it happened. She slipped into the lunch room, and she felt eyes on her.
She glanced quickly around and found the Cullen’s looking at her, Edward was indeed still in the school, but staring blankly at nothing. She felt her heart wrench again she dragged her eyes from his form and focused at the eyes looking at her. Several of Forks high female populace were looking at her as if she was insane, evidently word had gotten out that she had broken things off with him. They looked at her like she was some exhibit in a museum, the only girl apparently dumb enough to break up with schools most eligible bachelor. Although she could see several gleeful faces, Bella Swan looked as though Christmas had come early, at the fact as well.She looked down at the food in her hand and all but threw it back at the trays and left the room, behind the room erupting into whispers.
She slowly loaded her trunk, containing all her worldly possessions. The house items that had come with the home she had bought almost one year ago would remain here, under her name of course but kept still. She hoped that should she return to America, she would like to live where she had before in a place that was left untouched. In her hand a small envelope with one name written in her handwriting, surrounding it was a delayed notice-me-not charm, which would break upon her death. If she died then it would mean that they had almost certainly lost the war, and it was a matter of day’s maybe hours before the rest of the Wizarding world would fall too. She needed to know that they would get this letter and heed her warning inside. She closed the boot of her car and took one last solitary look at her home, the only place she would ever refer to as home again, before she slipped into the driver’s seat and headed to the airport. Alone.