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“That good, huh?”
Beau startled out of a lean against her doorway, where she’d been watching Yasha descend to her floor.
Swirling towards the disturbance, she saw Fjord lounging with a smirk next to his door. It took less than six seconds for her to clear the distance and put a hand over his mouth. “Shhhh,” she implores with a glance downwards to make sure Yasha didn’t hear him…which, huh, she doesn’t see Yasha. She must have gone into her room pretty quickly.
Fjord peels her hand off his mouth and says, “She went into her room a few minutes ago. You’ve just been standing there mooning.”
“I have not!” Beau scoffs…though, to be honest, she’s not actually certain about that as she kinda had lost track of time. It was just that Yasha had been so cute as she headed to her room, a shy smile on her face, turning as she started downwards to give a little wave.
She is interrupted again as Fjord scoffs and rolls his eyes at her. He turns to go into his room, and then turns back to give a little head beckon and a “Wanna come in?” And yeah, it’d be kinda nice to talk to someone about everything.
As they settle into his sitting room, Fjord turned to Beau with an eye waggle and a “You two have fun?” quickly followed by a “I don’t want details!”
“What? No! We didn’t…you know…she just came over to ask some questions about my theories. We just talked.”
Yasha had knocked on her door, holding a small cactus that was blooming little pink flowers, and said she had some questions about Beau’s theories. When asked about the cactus, she had handed it gently over and said it was a room-warming gift. Beau had valiantly stopped herself from mentioning room-warming activities. They had talked about the theories, but then they had just talked about little things…favorite foods, happy memories, Yasha missing Molly, Beau’s concerns about TJ. Despite some of the topics, it hadn’t been a heavy conversation….
“That good, huh?” Fjord repeats as Beau comes back to the present to find him smiling softly at her.
“Yeah….it was nice.” It had been nice…like it was something for just them. This thought propels her to change the subject off herself.
“What about you, Captain? Jester really liked that unicorn you got her. Really stepping up your game, huh?”
Now that he’s put in the hot spot, Fjord looks rather awkward as he rubs the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah, I just thought she’d like it.”
“She loved it, man! It was a great gift for Jester!”
“Really? You sure?” Fjord awkwardly asked.
Beau’s about to whole-heartedly reassure him, when she realizes that the tone of his voice sounded less like he was asking for reassurance and more like he wasn’t actually sure.
“Hey, what’s the matter?” Then, as Fjord prevaricates, Beau leans forward and says, “Hey, I’m your first mate. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t think Jester likes me anymore…doesn’t like me like that anymore.”
She’s about to categorically deny that again, before she realizes that Fjord doesn’t seem to be doubting himself so much as actually pretty convinced of what he just said.
“What makes you think that? Look, there’s been a LOT going on. Right now might not be the best time to judge Jester’s feelings correctly. And I thought you just wanted to take it slowly, see where it could go. That you were happy where you were?”
Fjord looks uncomfortable, but slightly determined. Whatever conclusion he had come to, he did think it was accurate.
“Yeah, right now’s not best time, but I’m pretty sure she’s interested in someone else.”
“Someone else?” It had always kinda been a foundation of the Nein, known from the beginning: Fjord’s a sailor, Caleb likes cats, Beau's good at hitting things, and Jester has a crush on Fjord. It was just how life was. She’s just about to ask who when the awkwardness on Fjord’s face gives way to realization and determination.
“I’m pretty sure that she likes someone else,” repeats Fjord, before taking a breath and saying, “and I think…no, I know that I’m okay with that.”
Before Beau can ask any questions, Fjord continues, “I like Jester, of course I do, everyone likes Jester, but I’m not sure how much of that was cause it’s Jester and how much was that I want a romantic relationship with her. And…I am happy where I am right now…I kinda want to see who I am before pursuing anything.”
“Yeah, but that’s where you were before,” Beau cajoles, “right now’s not a good time for romance. Look, just take it slow and woo a little.”
Fjord doesn’t look convinced as he states, “Isn’t it? A good time for romance, that is? I mean, we have no idea what could happen or if we’ll all be okay, now’s kinda the time to go for it.”
Beau’s just about to burst with confusion. “So, we shouldn’t take it slow? But you want to and so you don’t think…what? That you shouldn’t pursue Jester cause of that? Fuck, man, that’s convoluted.”
“No, no, that’s not….I just don’t think I’m ready to pursue anything, and, like I said before, I’m pretty sure Jester’s interested in someone else.”
The mysterious someone else again! Except, well, “Look, man, I love you. You’re my captain, but are you sure you're not reading this wrong?”
Fjord sighs and says, “I know I’m not the most observant, but, look, I knew that Jester kinda liked me before. (“Everyone knew,” interjects Beau) But I didn’t know what to do with that and there was the whole Ukoto’a (“Ukotoa’a, Ukoto’a”) thing, and I think that kinda hurt her. But now, I kinda recognize the signs of Jester ‘liking’ someone and it’s not really directed at me?”
She wants to argue, but well, it’s possible Fjord has seen something she hasn’t, especially as she doesn’t even know who he thinks it is.
“Who do you think she likes?” Beau asks as she starts thinking of the possibilities. She’d be surprised if it wasn’t one of the Nein, though it could be Essek…she hopes it isn’t Essek. If it’s not Fjord though, she’s not sure who of the Nein it would be. Jester’s friendly with everyone. It’s probably not Veth as Jester’s very much a One True Love romantic. It could be Cadeuceus, but it doesn’t seem likely. Yasha’s amazing, she could definitely see that. It’s definitely not Beau. And that’s everyone, so….
“Caleb,” states Fjord.
If she had been drinking, there would've been liquid all over the sitting room and Fjord. “What?!? No way! She can’t be interested in Caleb. That’s the worst! Caleb is not good romantic material!”
“Why not? He’s handsome, considerate, kind. He made all this for us.” Fjord says calmly, gesturing around them at the tower.
Beau’s first thought is “cause he’s broken!” ….except, that’s not quite true anymore, is it? Caleb has healed and grown so much, like they all have. “Cause he keeps secrets,” except he’s been pretty straightforward lately and, like Jester said, they all keep secrets. So, actually, why not? Why shouldn’t Jester, or anyone, like Caleb?
Because he’s like me, she thinks. The broken children of a broken Empire. Friends, family is the most we can ask for and even that is more than we deserve. It’s enough, it’s too much that we are given familial love, anything more is not for us.
And that’s why isn’t it? Because she sees herself as broken, saw herself as too broken for Jester even when she thought about how much she liked her. And Caleb’s like her, peas in a sun-burnt pod.
Except, that’s not true. All the Nein, even Jester, all as broken as the next and it’s hard to consider herself too broken when she remembers the smile on Yasha’s face as she handed the flowering cactus to her.
(“It reminded me of you,” she had said quietly, and Beau had just stared for a few seconds.)
But even if Jester’s interested, Caleb’s not, right? Like sure, he likes her, everyone likes Jester, but it’s not more than that. It’s just… all the illusions and magic Jester could ask for during TravelerCon, making sure they can get back to Marion as often as possible, the details of her room in the tower, the support and understanding, the yes so often on his lips when Jester asked for something, the look in his eyes.
Fuck! He’s in love with her!
But as soon as she thinks that, she thinks about flying, fighting alongside, the innuendos, the smiles, the talking, how it was Yasha that handed the potted plant over, but it was Beau who had shyly taken it and put it pride of place in her rooms.
She’s, she’s in love with Yasha!
As if the moment, Beau realized the strength of Caleb’s feelings for Jesters, she could recognize her own for Yasha.
Of course, this is all in Beau’s head and what comes out is:
“Fuck! He loves Jester!”
“FUCK, I LOVE YASHA! Shit!”
There is a decidedly bemused look on Fjord’s face as he looks at her, “That’s good to know? Yay?”
“No, dude!” But she doesn’t know how to explain her thought process…she tries anyway. It comes out in bursts and bubbles. “Like I thought I was broken and Caleb’s like me, so Caleb’s broken. But I realized he’s not. So, I was like okay, he likes Jester, but then I was like no, it’s more than that. And then I realized he’s in love with her…which..that’s the same feeling I have about Yasha. And I was telling myself it was just lust or that she’s really cool…but…I really think I’m in love with her.”
Fjord’s smile has a distinct tinge of pride to it now. “I’m not really sure I followed all that, but I got the part where you’re in love with Yasha?”
Beau stopped her word deluge to stare, smiling, at Fjord, “Yeah, yeah, shit, I think I am.”
“Cool! You gonna do something about that?”
The smile disappeared into a thoughtful expression, “No, I don’t think so. Like I said before, it’s more in Yasha’s court.”
Fjord nodded and then asked, “So am I wrong or did you say Caleb’s in love with Jester?”
She had completely forgotten about that in flush of her second realization. “Fuck! Yeah, I think so. I mean, it’s Caleb, who knows, but yeah, maybe. It’s just, well, you saw TravelerCon and well, Jester’s room here.”
Fjord nodded again, “And Caleb shows affection though magic. I mean, even I’ve noticed that,” this was followed by an eye roll and gesture, again, to the tower.
But if both Caleb and Fjord were seriously interested in Jester, to the point of one of them getting hurt, she didn’t know what she'd do. Fjord was her Captain, but Caleb was like her, Empire-born, the type of brother she wouldn’t have, and didn’t, entirely know what to do with. It wouldn't be possible to support both if they were both interested, but she couldn’t support one over the other. Of course, it was Jester’s choice in the end as it should be, which brought them back to the start of this conversation.
“What made you think Jester likes Caleb?”
Fjord shrugs, “Nothing specific and I’m not sure, it’s just…you know how Jester would always compliment me. ‘You’re so strong, Fjord!’ Things like that. Well, she’s been doing that more with Caleb. And she laughed a lot around me or wanted to hang out. Well….”
“That kinda just sounds like Jester being Jester?”
“Yeah, now that I say it out loud, it seems really small and silly. I don’t know…I kinda just got a vibe she was more interested in Caleb now…and then I realized that I was okay with that. “
Beau nods reassuringly because it’s good that Fjord is figuring out what he wants, but a side of her mind is focused on remembering how Jester’d been acting lately….the mean girl routine with Astrid, the compliments, the side discussions…and, yeah….Fjord possibly had a point.
“You possibly have a point.”
“Really? You think so?”
“Yeah, like I’m not sure, but it’s quite possible that Jester likes him.”
“Huh, so Jester possibly like likes Caleb and Caleb’s maybe in love with her?”
“Yeah,” Beau sighs, “possibly.”
Fjord breathes heavily and then he says, “Well, it’s all possibilities and we don’t really know anything so we should just leave it, right? Like, okay, it’s a possibility, but we don’t have to do anything about it?”
Beau nods, cause, yeah, they don’t even know if they’re right. It’s just speculations and Jester and Caleb are both adults. And yeah, Caleb can be rather self-loathing and she thinks that learning more about relationships has made Jester more cautious. But, yeah, best not to meddle.
“Yeah, we’re not Veth. No need to meddle or matchmake. They’re adults, they can figure it out.”
They both stare each other for a few seconds, before Fjord says,” We're gonna meddle, aren't we?”
"Yeah..."
"Okay, so what's the plan?"
And, as quick as that, they’re discussing the best ways to wing-man Jester and Caleb to each other.
Beau pulls out her notebook and says,” Well, first, we need to make sure we’re seeing it right.”
Fjord nods and crosses his arms decisively, “Yeah, figure out if they really are interested in each other. “
“I call Jester!”
“What?!? You want me to try to broach that with Caleb? It’d be better coming from you.”
“Yeah, but Jester’s more likely to tell me if she’s interested in Caleb.”
“Then you get both,” and before Beau can protest, Fjord hastily adds, “as your Captain, I consider it First Mate duties to scope out the situation.”
That earns him a shoulder punch and grumbling agreement.
As he rubs what will definitely be a bruise, Beau states, “If we’re right, who gets wing-man duties for whom?”
“Well, if we’re right, I figured out Jester and you figured out Caleb, so we’ll split it that way. “
And there’s a lot of issues with that, but yeah, so far it’s a good idea. It could just come to nothing after her discussions with them both.
“Okay, I guess I should go find them and get started.”
“Or maybe we should wait until after dinner?” states Fjord, pointing to the clock. Caleb had created the tower around noon as some of them wanted to stay in and they had all agreed to meet back up for dinner at 7 in the evening.
They’d headed out, and as Fjord closed the door behind him, he said, “Have you thought about just saying ‘if you wanted to kiss me, I would be really into that’ to Yasha?” This earns him a second layer of bruise in the same place as the last and a push into the middle of the open platform. Fjord wobbles back and forth due to the slight weightlessness there, and then with a grin that unnerves her, does a flip heading downwards.
She tucks in her notebook and goes to step into the platform space, before realizing that Fjord hadn’t continued down to the dining room, but instead was banging on Yasha’s door.
Yasha opened her door as Beau threw herself through the space to get to Fjord first. With a yelp and a ‘you should kiss Beau, Yasha’, Fjord barely avoided Beau as he jumped back into the space to hurtle himself down. Fingers grasping air, Beau went to follow after him intent on kicking his ass.
However, no movement forward was made, which after a glance down to her waist, was due to Yasha’s arm wrapped around her.
Beau looked up to see Yasha blushing and smiling slightly.
“Hi,” said Yasha.
“Hi,” Beau answered.
(Maybe she’d only add 20 pushups to Fjord’s exercise routine. )