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"You have got to be fucking kidding me!"
Class 1-A stared at Denki as he held the burnt popcorn in his hands, his burst of electricity ultimately exploding their movie night drinks too. Bakugou's outburst made Denki wince as he glanced between 19 faces.
"Uh... my bad?" Denki said. The students grimaced and held their noses, desperately trying to block out the pungent odor of burnt popcorn. "Look, electricity is hot! I thought I could speed run popping the popcorn!"
"That's not how that works. At all really," Izuku awkwardly muttered. Shouto glanced between the judgmental looks that all landed on Denki and the obliterated popcorn packets in his hand.
"Guys, I'm really sorry," Denki admitted. "Uh, Yaoyorozu, can you please make some more?"
"You do realize that popcorn comes from a plant, right?" she asked.
"Yeah, so?"
"Plants are organic. I can't create organic structures."
"Fuck."
"We can't just not have popcorn and drinks," Hanta groaned. He scrunched his eyebrows for a second, seemingly thinking hard. "Do you think 1-B has any?"
"Not any they'd give us," Kyouka laughed. "Tried to see if anyone wanted an old guitar I was trying to get rid of over there. Couldn't even get in because Monoma was guarding the door like a feral dog."
"Is anyone willing to go out?" Eijirou asked. The room went silent as everyone glanced around to see who would volunteer.
"I can go get some," Shouto said.
"I can go with you," Izuku smiled. Shouto shook his head.
"It's alright. You're in your nightwear. I'll be back as soon as possible," Shouto replied.
"Hold on bro, you sure you wanna go alone?" Eijirou asked. "It's dark out. Don't want someone jumping you."
"I'll have my license on me in case."
Denki walked up and patted Shouto on the back. "You're a trooper, Todoroki," he sighed. "God bless your soul. Also, get some more drinks too."
"Okay, let me just give Aizawa sensei a permission slip, and then I'll go get some," Shouto sighed. Everyone cheered for Shouto as he grabbed a spare slip and wrote his name and destination. He glanced at the clock that read 22:19 and wrote down the time.
Slipping on his shoes and armed with his hero license and father's credit card, he jogged over to the teacher dorms. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer. Moments later, a sleepy Aizawa opened the door looking tired as hell.
"Please sign my paper," Shouto said. Aizawa raised an eyebrow.
"Why do you need to leave campus?" Aizawa asked.
"Kaminari fried a couple of things and I need to get replacements."
"Can't you get it during the day?"
"No."
Aizawa eyed him down. With a sigh, he signed the paper and handed it back to him. "Add someone's name to it and have them go with you. Give it to me in class on Monday."
"Thank you Aizawa sensei," Shouto said. Aizawa grumbled something before closing the door. Shouto walked off, looking at the paper in his hand. Thinking back, everyone was in their pajamas. Everyone was comfortable. There was no reason to bother them. Shouto could hold his own.
He folded up the paper and put it in the inside of his jacket pocket. Walking out to the UA doors, he flashed his student ID to the door to make sure it wouldn't crush him. The breath of fresh air was relaxing. The city lights guided him in the direction he needed to go as he stayed alert of his surroundings.
His lonely footsteps were the only music to be heard. He glanced at the surrounding trees that were atop the same hill as UA. The autumn leaves fell in unpredictable patterns. All the way from the top of the tallest trees down, down, down. Down until they landed underneath Shouto's shoes.
Soon, his footsteps weren't the only thing to be heard. The humming of cars and trains along with the noises of the city filled Shouto's ears. As he walked into the city, he kept his objective in mind. Get popcorn. Get soda. Get juice. Everyone was waiting on him, so he needed to make sure that he didn't mess this up.
Get popcorn. Get soda. Get juice. He kept walking, repeating the mantra in his head. But he was human too. Humans love shiny objects and lights. Which is why the sudden flash of blue caught his attention. His eyes darted towards the alley where he saw familiar blue flames flicker in various places. A tall figure stood over a lifeless body. Cold and menacing. Looking around, there was nobody. Nobody at all. The lack of people was a little eerie. Shouto should have texted Aizawa, should have sent his location to everyone as Izuku did. Should have looked around for another hero.
But he didn't because he was human. Shouto silently slipped into the alley. Peering out behind a dumpster, he planned his attack.
Dabi. Nobody knew anything about him. It was like he never existed before his villainous debut at UA's summer camp. Shouto only knew a couple things about him.
His flames were blue, meaning they were probably hotter than his. He had burns all over his body, meaning he couldn't withstand that heat for long periods of time. It took a second for him to emit a flame, meaning if he was fast enough, maybe he could freeze him and try to strike him down.
Shouto placed his right hand on the ground gently. He looked at the villain as his hand chilled and huge ice chunks began hurdling Dabi's direction.
Without warning, the alleyway lit up blue as a wave of water flooded out. Shouto bit his lip as he watched the rest of his ice melt away.
"Come out, hero," Dabi sneered. "Let's have a real fight."
Shouto sent another wave of ice only for it to be washed away by blue flames. "I hope that isn't your only method of defense," Dabi called out. Now or never.
Shouto jumped on the dumpster and got some air. He swung out his left hand and blasted flames towards Dabi. Blue quickly combated orange. Shouto pushed hard, trying to overpower the villain. Blue seemed to push back harder as Shouto was pushed backward by heat and his back slammed against the alley wall.
"Did you really come here to fight me alone, little Todoroki Shouto?" Dabi asked. Shouto glared at the villain as he stood back up. He ignored the smell of the burnt jacket that was falling off the left side of his body. "The fight you put up is pathetic. I almost feel bad for you. I'll give you ten seconds to get out of here."
"You're delusional," Shouto growled. "I'm not leaving until you're in handcuffs, villain."
Dabi sighed as he held out a hand that slowly lit up with blue flames. "Tenacious as always," he sighed. Dabi looked down in shock as ice crept up his leg without him even noticing. With Dabi in place, Shouto lunged into hand to hand combat.
Shouto threw a few punches as Dabi defended himself to the best of his limited ability. Dabi snuck a hand down and melted the ice, allowing him to knee Shouto in the stomach and shove him to the ground. The dual quirk user grunted in pain as he landed on the cement. "Leave now or they'll be cleaning your ashes by morning," Dabi warned.
"Why... do you want me to leave so badly?" Shouto challenged.
"Just get out of—"
Shouto swung his leg around and swept Dabi to the ground. Shouto threw another punch as the two of them began wresting. The ice Shouto tried to case Dabi in was counteracted by the flames the villain emitted. Dabi pushed a foot in between them, launching Shouto away. Shouto tumbled on the ground while Dabi stood up. Shouto looked up to see Dabi looming over him.
Shouto should've called for backup a long time ago. He shouldn't have taken on such a dangerous villain alone. And as the pyromaniac looked down on him, Shouto realized just how fatal his mistake was.
"Look at you. You were supposed to be the perfect creation. And yet you fall so easily to the failure," Dabi scowled.
Dabi's words struck a deep chord inside Shouto. A chord he thought he had cut a long time ago. "What... what do you mean by perfect creation and failure?" Shouto asked. His question sounded more like a desperate beg rather than a bitter comment.
"Get out of here before I change my mind and kill you," Dabi scowled.
"No. Kill me then," Shouto growled. "If you really wanted to, you would've by now. What do you mean by perfect creation and failure?"
"Don't test me, Todoroki Shouto," Dabi warned.
"How do you know my name? How do you know I was supposed to be the perfect creation? How... how are you the failure?" Shouto snapped. His mind darted with questions, yet received not a single answer. Dabi stayed deathly silent as he stared at Shouto.
No answer. Shouto felt like he was losing his mind. The sports festival. That was how he knew his name. Dabi was just an observant villain who did his research. Nothing to lose his mind over, right? How the hell did he know about his father's line of the 'perfect creation'? Enji made sure that would never be public knowledge. Yet here the villain was, calling him by the alias he despised.
"I don't have enough time to waste it on you," Dabi muttered. Dabi turned away, but Shouto was only human. He needed to know how this villain knew the private details of his life. Shouto grabbed his ankle and gripped tight.
Dabi, the villain with a fire quirk. A flame more powerful than Enji's, shown by the blue flame. But that was just how quirks worked. The next generation will always be strong than the last. It was evident to Shouto the day he had to babysit the hoard of primary students. Dabi couldn't withstand the power of his own flames though. Almost as if he had a—
"Weak constitution," Shouto said with a shaky breath. "My... my oldest brother. Touya. My bastard of a father. He said that he had flames more powerful than his, yet inherited my mother's weak constitution. I never got to see it. I barely got to speak to him before they sent him off to that stupid government program. The government program that got him killed."
Dabi didn't move. He stayed facing away from Shouto. He didn't even try to kick Shouto's hand off his ankle. Dabi was frozen.
"My father deemed him a failure. And you seem to be familiar with the terms. I... you... I'm... you're..." Shouto whispered. His buzzing mind was unable to form a sentence as the villain stood deathly still. The villain who refused to kill him even though he had no problem killing whoever looked at him wrong. The villain who seemed to hold a deeper bitterness in his heart Shouto couldn't explain.
"Let go, kid," Dabi said softly. Shouto didn't even bother getting up from the ground. The grip on Dabi's ankle was one of iron. Shouto's shaky breath threatened to break out into a sob at any second.
"You know, Natsuo misses you a lot," Shouto whispered. Shouto could feel just how thick the air in the alley got with the words that escaped his lips. "He misses you so much, Touya."
Dabi didn't say a word. He stared straight ahead and refused to acknowledge Shouto's claim. Shouto had never felt so weak. He felt too exhausted to hold onto the villain's ankle. His grip loosened until his hand fell to the ground. Shouto took in a shaky breath as he moved backward. He couldn't find it in himself to say a word. Hell, he could barely form a thought.
His mind was screaming with so many horrible thoughts. So many repressed requiems. So many unsung songs of mourning. So many screams of pain he never bellowed. "Fuck," was all Shouto was able to whisper as his back his the alley wall. He pulled his knees up to his chest as he refused to lift his head. "Goddammit... Touya."
It must have been years before Dabi finally responded. He let out a small sigh. "You grew up to be a good person, Shouto," Dabi mumbled. "It's a shame you fell victim to the system."
"Don't talk about the fucking system!" Shouto screamed. "That's not important!"
Dabi turned to face the teenager who threatened to break into a sob at any moment. His eyes were red as he glared daggers into the villain. Dabi reached out a hand to help him up. "Come on, let's talk somewhere else," Dabi sighed.
Todoroki swung his hand, swatting Dabi's away. "What the fuck, Touya?!" Shouto snapped. "Why the fuck did you let us believe that bullshit?!"
"Shh! Quiet down!" Dabi whispered sharply. Dabi reached out again only to get hit and slapped away. Shouto didn't even know where he was hitting. He just knew he was making contact and that was good enough for him. "Goddammit Shouto, someone is gonna hear you!"
Shouto kept swatting and kicking any contact Dabi tried to make. Shouto kept screaming cursed and harsh names towards the villain as Dabi struggled to keep him under control. When Dabi finally got a grip on both of Shouto's wrists, Shouto resorted to straight kicking. Dabi groaned as he kicked back. After a while of struggling, Dabi crouched down to meet Shouto at eye level.
Maybe if the two of them were ten years younger, it would just be two brothers duking it out over something trivial. An older brother trying to keep his younger brother under control. A younger brother who had yet to learn how the world works and didn't fully understand injustices. An older brother just trying to make sure the younger brother didn't hurt himself and get him to calm down. Maybe it would have just been a fight over the last chicken tender. Maybe over who got to choose the tv show that night. Maybe just simply one got on the other's nerves.
But neither of them were ten years younger. These were two functional brothers, able to conceptualize injustices, death, all the hard lessons younger kids just didn't fully comprehend.
It felt familiar in a way Shouto couldn't understand. He didn't remember much of his childhood. People talked about their memories as children, yet Shouto always seemed to have so many fewer than his peers. Only the worst made it evident.
But as his wrists were being restrained and he heard the voice of a concerned older sibling telling him to quiet down, a vivid memory he didn't know he had presented itself.
"Shouto, quiet down," Touya whispered. Shouto sniffled and sobbed as Touya held his hands. "Please, you don't want Dad to hear."
Touya's brilliant turquoise eyes looked at Shouto with the type of concern only an older brother could have. Shouto hiccuped and sobbed as Touya glanced around warily.
"I don't want you to go," Shouto sobbed. "Please don't leave, Touya."
"I don't have a choice. Don't worry, I'll be okay," Touya said. The bandages on his arms were loose as he gripped Shouto's hands with reassurance. Shouto continued to sob as he shook his head.
"You're the only one who says 'hi' to me. Please, you're my only friend," Shouto wailed.
"Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it," Touya sighed. Touya wiped a couple of tears from Shouto's eyes. "Hey, visit Momma for me, okay?"
Shouto sniffled and nodded his head.
The door busted open as all the color drained from Touya's face. "Why are you with Shouto?" A deep voice Shouto grew to fear bellowed.
"I was saying goodbye," Touya said softly. Shouto could see the fear that resides in Touya's being as he didn't dare look away from his abuser.
"There's no need," Enji growled. "You live different lives. You won't miss each other. You'll forget about each other in a matter of weeks."
"No!" Shouto sobbed. "I don't want Touya to leave!" Touya's face dropped as fear filled his expression even more.
Enji gripped Shouto's wrist and pulled him up harshly from the ground. "Don't waste your energy on him. Let's go, you have training to do," Enji said.
"Hey!" Touya yelled. "You better not hurt him! Don't you dare—"
Shouto gasped as he watched Enji shove Touya to the ground. Touya winced as he held his bandaged arms. He tried to get back up only to get pushed to the ground again.
"Hopefully this program will shape you up into something other than a failure," Enji growled. "Shouto, you shouldn't waste your time with him. You're my perfect creation, you have a brighter future than him. Let's go."
Shouto sobbed as he was dragged off, trying desperately to get back to Touya. Touya screamed for Enji to stop as he lay on the ground. Enji tuned out the cries of his children. That was the last time Shouto saw Touya.
Shouto stopped fighting. He felt overwhelmingly exhausted as he broke out into a sob. Dabi hesitantly let go of Shouto's wrists. Getting his breathing under control, Shouto shoved Dabi square in the chest, making him fall on his ass. "Why?!" Shouto begged. "Why did it have to be this way?!"
"Please stop screaming," Dabi requested. The villain pushed himself back up so he was crouched in front of his little brother again.
"Why did you have to leave? Why did they say you died? Why... why did you disappear?" Shouto whispered through his sobs.
Dabi chewed on the inside of his lip. His expression was excruciatingly pensive as he stalled on answering Shouto's question. "I couldn't take it anymore," he muttered. "Sick and tired of seeing all these fakes bathed in glory, knowing I was being brainwashed into the same fate. That government program makes soldiers, not heroes. I don't plan on being another pawn to this fucked society."
"You left us," Shouto muttered, looking at the ground.
"I had no choice. Only the best make it out alive only to be a slave to the government. I refuse to take part in such a bastardized and regimented system that does nothing but shove lies down my throat," Dabi said. Shouto shuddered as he sobbed. Nothing made sense. The brother who came to see him even though he would get best for doing so was alive. He was alive and right in front of him.
The brother he thought he had lost over ten years ago was alive. So why the hell did he feel like he was going to break down and combust?
Shouto was only human. He couldn't explain why the joy he should feel to see someone he loved dearly once more was replaced with panic and fear and anger. He couldn't explain why he wanted to punch Da—Touya rather than hug him. Because this is Touya right in front of him. Not Dabi. Touya. Touya. Touya. Touya. Touya. Touya.
"Touya," Shouto whispered. "Fuck you. You... you left me behind. You left Natsuo and Fuyumi behind. Mom. You left all of us without as much as a goodbye."
"Do you think I wanted to?" Touya asked. His voice was shaky as he replied to Shouto's rage-filled accusations. Shouto looked up almost expecting him to be crying. Touya was gritting his teeth, but no tears fell from his being as his chest slightly shook with each breath.
Shouto didn't have an answer. He could only continue to sob into his knees relentlessly. "How could you... you... you've killed good people. You never wanted to hurt anyone and now... you're a villain."
Touya looked back down to the ground. "This society needs to change. And if there needs to be a few casualties for people to see that, then so be it. I try to leave innocent people out of this, but sometimes it's just wrong place wrong time," he reasoned.
The air to Shouto's right seemed to get a little colder. The two of them looked to see a warp gate hover. Touya let out a sigh as he got back up on his feet. "That's my ride," he mumbled. "Hey, don't tell our family about me. It would break Mom's heart."
Shouto watched as Touya walked towards the portal. Shouto quickly scrambled to his feet, grabbing Touya's wrist. "Wait," Shouto begged. Touya turned around to face his crying little brother. "Don't... It doesn't have to be this way. We can tell them about Dad, get you rehabilitation, they'll understand."
Touya looked to the ground. "No," he said. "It doesn't matter what Enji did. This isn't solely about him. This is about this fucked society. I don't was to be told I'm wrong for disagreeing with corruption."
Shouto stood hesitantly for a second, loosening his grip on his brother's arm. Touya reached out and ruffled Shouto's hair. If Shouto looked hard enough, he was almost able to see the smallest little bit of white peeking through Touya's roots.
"I love you, Shouto," Touya said. Shouto's body shuddered as he let out another sob, hearing the words he thought were years in the past. "Let Mom know I love her in any way you can. I hope you're still visiting her for me."
Shouto sobbed as he nodded his head. He felt Touya's hand leave his hair. Wiping at his eyes, he took a deep breath. "I love you too Tou—"
But when he looked up, he was alone. There was nothing in the alley except for burnt objects and small puddles of water here and there. Touya was nowhere to be found and the only song to his ears was the hum of the city outside the alley.
Shouto was completely alone.
And because Shouto was human, he collapsed on the ground and began sobbing. Each inhale was a trial as his throat closed and he choked on his own sobs. Chills ran down his back as the cold wind kissed the bare skin on his left side.
Touya was alive, living the life he chose. He was free and healthy and alive. Oh, how Shouto wanted that for him for years and years. Just for him to be alive and autonomous. And he was. Touya is his own person.
Yet Shouto couldn't feel more empty. Touya was gone. It was like he died all over again and Shouto was forced to relive it. Relive the pain of watching Touya leave his sight forever in the blink of an eye. Relive the shock of knowing that Touya was dead.
Because deep down, Shouto knew that was the truth. Touya died in that hero program. Touya died and Dabi was born. No matter how many times he looked at Dabi and called him Touya, it wouldn't change the fact that the Touya that would come and visit him against his father's wishes was six feet under. Nothing would ever change that fact, but that didn't mean it didn't kill Shouto with each choked breath in the Musutafu alleyway.
Shouto has no idea how long he was there. But soon enough he heard a couple of people calling his name. "Todoroki! You good?! Pick up your phone dude!"
Shouto could hear the voices as if they were behind a closed door, but he couldn't fathom listening to them. Everything he heard was muffled as he sat in the alley and stared dejectedly at the ground.
"The security guard said nobody that looked like him even walked in the store."
"Bastard probably got some soba instead."
"Has anyone tried calling him recently?"
"I'm calling him right now."
"What's that smell?"
"It smells like smoke or burnt—oh shit."
"It's coming from the alley."
Shouto could hear everything, but couldn't comprehend a word. He was too focused on the sound of Touya's Dabi's voice. It echoed somewhere loudly in his mind as he felt the sensation of him ruffling his hair like he did when he was a small child.
"Oh my God, are you okay, Todoroki?!" Someone asked. Shouto couldn't even lift his head to look at his classmates. He could only stare at the ground below him. He felt their hands graze against his clothes and skin some places, trying to get his attention. But he couldn't focus for the life of him. The turquoise eyes that looked just like his burned in the back of his mind.
Soon, someone forced their way into his field of vision. "Todoroki, can you hear me?" Izuku asked softly. Shouto opened his mouth to reply, but even saying something as simple as 'yes' made him feel like he was going to break down once more. Shouto swallowed hard and nodded his head. "What happened? Did you fight someone? Are you hurt?"
"Maybe let's go one question at a time. He looks like he's overwhelmed," Kyouka said softly. "Did you fight a villain?"
Shouto nodded his head.
"Are you hurt?"
Shouto shook his head.
"Did the villain get away?"
Shouto nodded his head.
"Can you speak?"
Shouto hesitated. He knew this was the part where he was supposed to give a verbal answer. Everyone looked at him, waiting for any sort of answer. He took a deep breath and tried to mask the anguish that was taking over his body. But he was only human, of course.
"Yes," he muttered. His voice immediately gave out as he broke down into a sob. He desperately tried to shield his face with the only sleeve he had left. To his relief, nobody said anything.
"Come on, let's get back to the dorms," Izuku said softly.
"Bakugou and I will grab some stuff from the store," Eijirou said softly. "Do you want anything, Todoroki?"
Shouto took the deepest breaths he could manage as his sleeve soaked up his tears. With the pressure and eyes of his classmates suffocating him, he forced the tears to stop. He gave himself a moment before shaking his head.
"Alright, we're gonna get some extra of that dango you like. That cool?" Eijirou asked.
"Yeah, sure," Shouto whispered. He pushed himself up with all his strength and almost immediately lost his balance. Because of all the sobbing and hyperventilating, Shouto suddenly experiences the worst vertigo he had ever had in his life. He stumbled a little as he clutched his head with one hand.
"Woah, careful," Izuku said softly. "Are you sure you're not hurt? Do you need to see Recovery Girl?"
"I'm fine," Shouto insisted. Just keep on insisting that he was fine and that everything was okay, that was all he had to do. Because he could never possibly tell anyone that Dabi was his brother. He could never possibly shake off the fact that Touya roamed this Earth, yet was still dead. And even if they did, what then? There was simply no way his friends could help him. They couldn't fix any of this, they were only human. "I'm not hurt, just upset he got away."
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Momo said softly. "Let's just get you back to the dorms. Do you still want to watch the movie?"
Shouto shook his head. "No, I need some time to myself," he muttered. Everyone nodded their heads in understanding. Shouto could feels the minors burns on him here and there as the fabric of his jacket or sweatpants brushed up against his skin the wrong way or when he leaned on Izuku slightly off. Izuku helped Shouto from collapsing and breaking into a sobbing mess as they walked back. The vertigo and general disorientation almost got the best of him a few times, but Izuku forced one of Shouto's arms around him and made sure he didn't fall.
Everyone scanned their student ID's and walked back to the dorms where Aizawa was impatiently waiting for their arrival. He fixed his glare on Shouto as the 18 of them walked up to the dorms.
"I told you specifically to only go out if someone was with you," Aizawa growled. Todoroki reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the paper slip. The edges were charred and the paper was severely crinkled.
"Here," Shouto muttered. Aizawa's angry expression immediately turned to something of concern as soon as the word left Shouto's mouth. Even the heterochromatic student was a little shocked as how broken-hearted and shattered his voice sounded. "You can add everyone's name to the list."
Shouto walked past him and straight into the dorms. Without looking back, he walked into his room and shut the door. Shouto walked to the center of the room and looked at the area where his futon was neatly tucked away. Such a trivial task that seemed impossible to do.
Without even changing our of his burnt clothes, Shouto collapsed on the ground and broke down for the hundredth time that night. After what felt like years of sobbing and mourning that was long overdue, he fell asleep on the floor.