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New Skills

Summary:

Kakashi knew that Sasuke trained under Orochimaru, everyone did, but it still comes as a surprise to see that the sanin actually taught him things. He expected the snake summons, the odd ninjutsu, but he could have never expected him to learn something like this.

-

Alternatively: Sasuke learns how to do honey pot missions and Team 7 cannot deal.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Sensei, this is hopeless” Naruto banged his head on a low table in the inn they were staying at. The blonde pigtails of his signature sexy jutsu receded with a puff of smoke.

“Weren’t you the one who begged the Hokage for a mission?” Kakashi says instead while going over the mission files again.

They were hired to retrieve a ring that is rumored to have miraculous healing properties. The item is said to be in the possession of a local lord, but even after breaking into the man’s home and office, they have yet to catch a glimpse of the jewelry. After tailing the man for days, they discovered that the lord wore the ring around his neck on a cord. It shouldn’t have been surprising, the man is known to be both private and suspicious, but they also discovered his one known weakness: beautiful women.

“Yeah Naruto, you just have to sustain that form for one evening and steal the ring when you get close enough,” Sakura says sipping tea.

“As if it’s that easy?!” Naruto snaps back. “Shouldn’t you be the one doing this?”

“You have more experience seducing men than Sakura does,” Kakashi said bluntly. He didn’t dare mention how Tsunade’s habits have rubbed off on Sakura, and it wasn’t necessarily the best trait to have for a mission like this.

“Sensei don’t say it like that!” Naruto snapped.

It’s their first mission as a reunited Team Seven, but even Kakashi would concede that they were not the best team for this job. Sasuke had returned to Konoha with Orochimaru’s head and rumors that he had killed Itachi himself. His accomplishments and willing return were enough to keep him alive, and Team Seven’s (considerable ) political influence got him off with a house arrest.
Naruto insisted on getting a mission as soon as Sasuke could leave, but the hokage wouldn’t trust a former rogue ninja with anything important just yet.

So here they were, both overqualified and not qualified at all

“Fine I’ll try again” Naruto got up and transformed into a gorgeous blonde woman in a kimono far shorter than socially appropriate. “How’s this sensei~” This female version of Naruto walked towards him and struck a pose. After 13 rounds of trial and error, Kakashi was no longer phased, nor was he acknowledging the awkwardness of this situation.

“You look like a cheap harlot,” Sasuke said straight-faced. “You’re never going to win over a lord like that”

Kakashi doesn’t know if Sasuke had learned superior control of his expressions or if he was well and truly unperturbed seeing his childhood friend turn into half-naked women.

“If you’re so good at this then why don’t you do it yourself bastard,” Naruto said while changing back.

What no one in the room could have expected was for Sasuke to shrug his shoulders and say

“Fine”

-

Kakashi knew that Sasuke trained under Orochimaru, everyone did, but it still comes as a surprise to see that the sanin actually taught him things. The most obvious sign was the snakes. Orochimaru was known for his snake summons, and Sasuke made no secret of inheriting them. Some of the changes were more subtle. A taijutsu sequence that was uncommon in Konoha and a lightning ninjutsu Kakashi could have sworn was a modified version of a technique used by the Anbu of Kumogakure. They even found him reading a book on poisons once.

So maybe Kakashi is a little jealous seeing these bits of Orochimaru in Sasuke, but what Kakashi didn’t expect is how unique his education under the sanin truly was.

Kakashi assumed that Sasuke had learned a genjutsu that would make him appear like a woman, but he would have never thought that Sasuke would go into the mission like this looking like himself. Except, this is not the Sasuke that he recognized.

Sitting at the bar of a place their mark frequented, Kakashi tried not to openly stare at the creature that was supposed to be Sasuke. Sasuke sat alone on a table strategically angled towards their mark. The man sat at table surrounded by women pawing for his attention. This, they came to learn, was the man’s weekly habit, charming women into his bed with his wealth and status. A single shinobi trained for seduction would have been done with this mission in a day, but Kakashi thought his team was better off fighting an army than mesmerizing men.

That is until he saw Sasuke in action.

The Uchiha had fangirls as a kid, but this version of Sasuke, with a hint of rouge on his lips and lashes longer than any of his former female classmates', could win the heart of the whole village. Hell, they might not have had to fight so hard for his freedom if he went on trial looking like this. This version of Sasuke had cold beauty that looked absolutely regal. He had replaced the white yukata top he insisted on wearing with a full-length yukata held together only with his obi.

Like usual, his top opened to show a slip of pale skin. Unlike usual, coal-darkened eyes made the opening look sinful. After this, he’s insisting that Sasuke wears a proper shirt.

Kakashi thought training with Orochimaru meant learning forbidden jutsu and deadly techniques; he never would have guessed that applying eyeliner was part of the curriculum.

His thoughts were interrupted when he noticed their mark looking over at Sasuke. The Uchiha held his gaze for a moment then looked down bashfully. Bashfully. Unbelievable.

Whatever Sasuke was doing seemed to be working, and the man flagged down a passing servant who approached Sasuke’s table. The boy stood and walked towards where the man, was and Kakashi could have sworn he saw his hips sway.

The lord ogled him openly, and Sasuke clutched his arm and looked slightly away.

“My lord, you are surrounded by such beautiful women. What could you possibly want with me?”

The voice that came out wasn’t the usual sharp tone he used. It was higher, lighter, and the man barked out a laugh. It sounded pathetic. Kakashi wanted to scrub it from his brain.

“You’re a boy? I couldn’t believe it. Of course, no woman would be so loose to wear a yukata as you would”

This creature that looked like Sasuke moved to pull his clothing together when the man held out a hand to stop him.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the view. Would you come a little closer, boy?”

At this point, Kakashi saw Naruto gawking from the table he shared with Sakura. He would have scolded him for blowing his cover if the whole bar wasn’t watching as Sasuke slid onto their mark’s lap. Even the women surrounding the lord were too stunned to complain that their target was being taken away. How could they? When they were going for subtle gestures, Sasuke went in for the kill.

“Is this close enough?”

The man, like everyone in the room, was caught speechless. Kakashi had noted how this was a more conservative town, and no woman would ever dare to be this bold. Not in public, and certainly not with a high ranking lord.

“You’re done playing shy? I saw you looking from across the room. Tell me, what do you really want from me?” the man said while trailing a hand down Sasuke’s arm.

Kakashi felt a surge of protectiveness at the gesture, and at the corner of his eye, he noted that Sakura and Naruto looked out for blood.

However, Sasuke himself just leaned closer and whispered to the man something none of them can hear, and Kakashi is rather glad to never know.

Whatever the Uchiha said, it seemed to seal the deal, and the man was leaving the restaurant with Sasuke in tow.

The rest of Team 7 sat at the bar stunned for a few moments before they had the good sense to follow.

-

The team watched from a nearby rooftop as their fourth member was lead into the lord’s mansion.

“Sensei, Sasuke won’t really do anything…would he? He won’t let that man…” Sakura looked horrified.

“Relax Sakura-chan, Sasuke could tear him in half if he tries” Naruto replied instead, but even he didn’t sound so sure of himself. Not that he doubted Sasuke’s strength, but Sakura voiced what they were all thinking.

“What if he doesn’t fight back? What if he thinks he has to do this?”

It was a silly mission, but at the back of their minds, everyone knew they had to succeed without a hitch. Sasuke’s status in Konoha was precarious, and the village might decide it’s not worth having him free after all if his team can’t even accomplish this.

When Sasuke returned, he didn’t look like he would’ve cared if Konoha decided to kill him. He lacked self-preservation as a kid and had even less of it now.

Kakashi wishes he could say the Uchiha would never let some bastard touch him, but he also never thought his student could tempt a man to take him home and –

Kakashi jumped off the roof. He vaguely felt the other two follow him into the mansion grounds and sneak into the building. Years of training kept him silently moving through the halls instead of sprinting.

He burned with rage thinking that Orochimaru trained Sasuke into this. He couldn’t imagine the proud, arrogant genin he knew painting his face and whispering sweetly for anyone. Kakashi had never asked what Sasuke did under Orochimaru, but if he finds out that the sanin had dared to force the Uchiha bend over for his missions, Kakashi would bring Orochimaru back from the dead just to kill him again.

Kakashi reached the door of the building housing the bedroom before the other two did. He burst in ready to knock their mark unconscious when he realized someone had already beat him to it.

There in the bedroom was Sasuke with their client’s stolen ring on his finger. The lord of the mansion was unconscious on the floor, but Kakashi’s eyes were drawn back to Sasuke. The top half of the yukata pooled at his waist. Strapped to his ribs was an odd sort of corset. It was low enough on his torso to be invisible with his open shirt, and laces holding the thing together were nearly transparent. Strapped to the corset were rows of needles with a single slot empty.

“Why are you here? I was just finishing up” Sasuke used his ringed finger and returned a needle to its place.

‘Are you alright’ seemed like a stupid question when the kid talked so nonchalantly. Instead, what came out was “That was a hell of a show you put on back there”

Sasuke straightened his clothing just as Naruto and Sakura arrived.

“Idiots like this one always fall for it.” He kicked the body of the unconscious man to prove his point.

“ Sasuke-kun, we were so worried about you” Sakura’s voice was close to quivering with relief, and Kakashi can’t even blame her.

“Don’t get so worked up. It’s not like I needed to sleep with him just to get a stupid ring” It was comforting to hear him sound like his self again, any trace of the softness and vulnerability completely gone.

“So you’ve slept with your targets before?” Naruto burst out. It was the wrong question at the wrong time and place, but it’s what everyone on the team had been worrying about ever since they saw Sasuke at the bar.

Sasuke’s expression went blank. “Sasuke, we’re sorry for putting you up to this. I should’ve tried harder with the jutsu and -” He walked up to Naruto until he was right in front of the blonde and kicked him hard where it hurts.

Naruto crumpled to the ground.

“Idiot! Stop thinking with your dick. That snake wouldn’t let anyone near this body he wanted so much”

“But did he ever – “ Kakashi asked before he could stop himself. Thankfully, Sasuke looked too horrified to kick him too. “No. He was a creep but not that kind of creep. He wasn’t interested in anyone. Believe me, Kabuto tried”

“That poison I gave him will wear off in 20 minutes. Let’s get this back to Konoha”

Kakashi decided there and then that of all the techniques Sasuke learned from Orochimaru, this one had to be the deadliest.

-

“Hokage-sama, Team 7 has returned from their mission”

Tsunade nodded her acknowledgment of the report. “Is there any news from the town they were in?”
“None, hokage-sama. There were no casualties or disturbances, but word is that a beautiful thief had robbed a local lord”

Tsunade smiled. That Kakashi’s team was back a week ahead of schedule further confirmed her suspicions. Orochimaru truly had thought that Uchiha brat his skills. She watched as Sasuke and his team walked towards the tower. If the boy could learn to combine his genjutsu with Orochimaru’s… techniques, then Tsunade has no regrets welcoming him back to the village.

Notes:

+Points to anyone who can guess where the inspiration for that corset came from. You, my dear, have just guessed the whole inspiration for this fanfic.

If Naruto can wear stripper mesh shirts under his clothing than Sasuke can wear a corset weapon belt.

This has been a brain dump, spur of the moment fanfic because Sasuke is just too pretty not to use his looks to his advantage. I could definitely see him doing this for both men and women, but the women part already seemed to be a given (This dude has been a king since he was 12)

Also contrary to a lot of fanfics I read on here, I don't see Orochimaru sexually interested in anyone. (If anything, I would say he'd be a power bottom but am really leaning towards asexual territory)

Hope you enjoyed this trainwreck of a fic!