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"Can I come visit?"
The text from Sam illuminated his screen, a blue glow in the semi-darkness.
Reaching for his phone seemed a little too much like hard work at the moment - his arms were lead weights against his side, and he was just so tired.
When the second text arrived (he wasn't sure how long after the first. He wasn't sure he really cared) he somehow managed to find just enough energy to grab his phone from the bedside table, and unlock it with a swipe of his thumb.
She'd sent a heart - a crappy less-than-three - but he felt his lips quirk upwards anyway.
Then he paused.
He sure as hell didn't think Sam would be asking about visiting Burbank, so how-
Chris.
It had to be.
He thought about confronting Chris (how dare he?) or bluntly asking her if (how) she knew, where she thought he was, but decided instead to play dumb - pretend he didn't know that she knew.
"Isn't Burbank a little far for a visit?"
There. Let her work out how to answer that one.
He dropped his hand to his chest, suddenly exhausted, as his mind whirled over the possibilities - how much did she know? What had Chris said? Did she know about Halloween? And, most embarrassingly, would she still like him (like that)? Fuck, would she even still want to be friends with stupid, nutty Josh, who couldn't hold himself together long enough not to down pills like candy, using whisky as a chaser (who still thought about how it'd felt before the last time he'd woken up unexpectedly on the psych ward, arms wrapped from wrist to elbow, who still thought at times the best way to tie a-)
The buzz of his phone broke off that train of thought (thank fuck. Spiralling wasn't his favourite pasttime).
Warily, he lifted the phone back up, not entirely sure he wanted to read what she'd sent. But he had to bite the bullet, right? (and wasn't that an idea)
Closing his eyes and inhaling slowly, counting his breaths like Alan had taught him to do, he felt the fluttering of his heart quiet a little. Enough to open his phone and face the music, anyway.
"I mean, Burbank might be, sure. But if you were there, I'd still want to visit :)
I don't think you are, though - Hannah told me about last time, and it's okay! You don't have to worry, I'm here for you :)"
Wait.
Hannah?
Hannah had told Sam ? She'd known all this time?
And wait-
Shit.
Chris hadn't-?
Fuck.
He felt his breath catch, as a flush crept up his neck - of course Cochise wouldn't have told Sammy, how could he even think that?
Stupid piece of shit brain.
Fuck, not what he needed to be thinking about now - he had a pretty girl to answer, even if his thoughts were still swirling and the guilt and regret were pooling.
"You don't have to, y'know. Though I can't blame you if you're missing this gorgeous face. I mean, with only Cochise and Ash for company, you must be dying of secondhand embarrassment. And come on, us hot losers have to stick together, right?"
Too much?
Maybe.
wasn't in the editing mood, however, so he guessed that was just what Sammy was gonna have to deal with.
Another buzz - my, Miss Giddings certainly didn't seem worried about appearing overeager.
"I want to. Besides, I can't take the obliviousness right now - it's driving me mad!"
He let out a quiet chuckle at that - he really had to come up with a way to get those two together, the pining was just too much - as he quickly fired off another text.
"Not disputing the hot bit, though, are you?"
Send.
A moment of thought, before also firing across the hospital details.
"Visiting hours are 10-3, they tell me. Just let me know when you're planning to come, so I can make myself pretty for you"
He let out a yawn as his hand dropped again, exhaustion seeping into his bones.
God, he hated being so tired all the time.
His thoughts became syrupy as he started to drift, vaguely aware of another text arriving, but too far gone to do more than just grumble lightly at it as he finally succumbed to sleep.
And if his dreams were less haunted that usual, if a certain lithe blonde featured prominently?
Well.
That was something for future Josh to think about.