Chapter Text
“Calling all superhero’s within the vicinity. We’ve got a jewel thief on the loose, last spotted running from Links of New York down through Madison Ave. and E 54th street. Suspect is a white male in his late twenties, approximately five foot eight, brown hair, blue eyes, wearing all black and carrying a brown duffle bag. He’s armed and dangerous, and we urge you to exercise caution when approaching the suspect.”
Yunho cracks his knuckles and steels his obnoxiously white trainers on the floor, crunching the gravel under his feet. He takes a deep breath and it smells a mix of old cigarette butts and exhaustion.
He’s ready to rumble.
He’s on the corner of 56th and Maddison, two blocks from the jewel store, so the thief can’t be far from him. He’s not gifted with super hearing or flying, so he has to find the criminal the old fashioned way—well, his way. By taking a wild guess.
He runs towards the store, taking the back alleys, since that seems like the most appropriate place for a criminal to escape to. He runs for a bit then pauses when he hears hurried footsteps coming from the right passage way at the junction ahead. He pushes his back against the wall and peers around the corner. When he catches sight of the suspect, all in black, duffle bag included, Yunho starts his pursuit.
Yunho’s always been a fast runner with his long legs, and he cuts the suspect off in a corner, wedged between three brick buildings.
“This is Jung Yunho, part of the Special Superhero Corps. Drop your weapon and come with me quietly.”
The man widens his eyes and his breathing stops. “Superhero? Jung Yunho?”
Yunho smirks.
The man half squeals--half screams, and pulls a gun from his jacket pocket, aiming it at Yunho’s head.
Yunho’s heart stops, and time slows around him. He’d kind of forgotten about the whole ‘dangerous and armed’ part of the mission. Yunho knows he really should have planned for this, but it’s too late now. He leaps to the ground just as he hears the gun go off, smacking into the gravel and scraping his face. His ears are ringing, and the smell of gunpowder is stinging his nose. He shakes his head and tries to breathe through the shock that’s whiting out his vision and hearing. It takes him less than ten seconds to orient himself, but by the time he’s on his feet, the criminal is already running and out of reach.
Yunho spins on his heel and bolts.
Or, attempts to.
He trips over his own ankle and hurtles face first into the gravel. The robber high tails it around the corner, and Yunho lets out a deep groan. His nose is pouring with blood and it's dripping onto his favourite Superhero Sweater. He lets out a pained whine. It took him two weeks to knit this particular one.
He so didn’t train five years in Superhero College for this.
He feels horribly dizzy but he scrambles onto his feet, scraping his hands on the gravel, and once again peruses the suspect. Logically he knows he should leave the capture to someone with the ability to avoid guns, like the metal bender Leeteuk, or the rock transformer, Kangin. But he’s desperate to prove that he can make a successful arrest.
He’s Jung Yunho, after all.
He follows the sound of the suspect’s footsteps, and ends up catching up without too much effort. Useless as he may be, he is a good and fit runner. The suspect pauses at a chain link fence, and once he realizes he won’t be able to scale it, he whips around and faces Yunho again.
He thinks it might be time to use his special ability, but before he has the chance to unleash it, the criminal has the gun pointed at him again, and his aim looks far steadier than before.
Yunho gulps and raises his hands, spiking his fingers forward. He just hopes he can get to him in time.
Yunho blinks, and suddenly the criminals pinned to the ground by a man all painted in leather. The hero pushes the suspect’s cheek into the gravel, and he turns to look at Yunho. He’s wearing a mask covering his nose down, so he can’t quite identify who it is, but he looks tall and his eyes scream danger. His shirt scoops low under his leather jacket, and Yunho is a little bit ashamed to admit he’s kind of turned on by the display.
He thinks to himself that’s it’s an awfully inconvenient outfit to be catching criminals in to make himself feel better. The hero gets up and uses a steel capped boot with fancy laces to hold the criminal down by the neck. Yunho has to admit he’s a little bit impressed.
That is, until the ‘stranger’ pulls his mask down around his neck.
“Well, well, well, who’ve we got here?”
Oh, yes, Yunho knows him well.
Shim.
Fucking.
Changmin.
The city's resident superhero sweet heart.
Yunho lifts his chin proudly and exclaims, “my name’s Jung Yunho!”
Changmin cocks a brow and eyes Yunho up and down. “Oh? As in, related to Yang Hyun Jung, Jung?”
“I’m his son.”
Changmin actually looks a tiny bit impressed. “I’d heard his son had followed in his footsteps, but I haven’t heard much else about him. I supposed he was just hiding at home under his dear daddy’s money. No need to work when you’re that loaded, right?”
“Mind your own business,” Yunho snaps, digging his fingernails into his palms.
Changmin rolls his eyes and puts a burst of pressure on his foot, causing the suspect to squeak. “If I left you to your own business, you’d have a bullet in your chest. Unless you’ve got some ability to stop bullets, you should be thanking me.”
Yunho avoids his gaze and grumbles under his breath.
Changmin calls up the police on his radio and sits on the back of the suspect, getting comfy as the suspect cries beneath him. “By the way,” Changmin looks up him and down derisively. “What in the world are you wearing? You call that a costume?”
Yunho furrows his brow and looks down at his sweater with a big ‘Y’ knitted on the front in green. The rest of his sweater is a mesh between brown and yellow, with splashes of blood. “What’s wrong with it?”
Changmin looks at him incredulously. “Are you seriously even asking me that question? Buy a mirror, you’ll figure it out. It’s almost a blessing that it’s stained with blood now.”
“I spent two weeks knitting this!”
“You… knitted your own superhero sweater?” Changmin laughs so hard that tears bubble in the corners of his eyes. “Oh god, you are a riot.” He looks at his watch then the criminal underneath him and whines. “Look, I really have to run. There’s something I have to do at home, and I’m sure you can supervise him until the cops get here.” He stops and squints his eyes suspiciously at Yunho. “Right?”
Yunho scoffs and approaches. “Of course I can. What kind of superhero can’t hold down a criminal?”
Changmin makes this twisted face and Yunho can almost feel the sarcasm rolling off it. He ties the suspect with a rope anyway, and pats him on the shoulder.
“Be nice for sweater man here.” He disappears with a pop.
Yunho grumbles under his breath at the name and takes a seat on the suspect who sobs underneath the weight. “Why doesn’t anyone like my sweaters?”
The cops show up ten minutes later, sirens blaring.
The officer, who obviously recognizes him from the expression on his face, looks at him and asks with all the incredulity he can muster, “You did this?”
Yunho wants to tell them he did, he really does. Maybe people would finally treat him with an inch of respect if he was able to catch someone for once, instead of wreaking havoc on the city and ending up having to foot the bill for all the damages.
“No… it was… Shim Changmin’s arrest.”
The officer sighs and nods. “Yes, that sounds far more plausible.”
Yunho wants to kick Changmin.
Yunho goes home and googles Changmin. He prints out a large high quality picture and conjures a heavy slab of cotton and duct tapes it to the wall. He brings out his set of throwing knives that he bought to pursue criminals before he realized he had absolutely no talent and would probably injure himself before he could even let the damned thing leave his hand. He poises himself in front of his imaginary dartboard.
Ten points for the forehead.
Twenty for the nose.
Fifty for his stupid cheekbones.
A hundred for the lips, just because he hates Changmin talking that much.
He throws three knives. One lodges itself on the floor, the other three meters off the mark, and the last hits Changmin’s ear. Yunho grins, suddenly inspired and feeling like he’s got the hang of this. He lines up another knife in between his thumb and forefinger and closes his left eye. He hurls it forward with as much strength as he possibly can.
He misses the picture.
He misses the wall.
His window cracks and the knife goes hurtling out into the street and he hears a shriek.
Yunho’s mouth drops open and he runs to the busted window. “ARE YOU OKAY?”
His neighbor who’s sitting on her lawn looks up with wide eyes. She’s reading a book pulled just in front of her face, and the knife is sticking out the front cover.
“Um. I’m sorry?” he says, and the young lady across the road starts crying.
Yunho closes the curtains.
Yunho knits his neighbor a nice sweater with reindeers and Christmas trees on it.
He finds it thrown on his doorstep the next morning.
The next time Yunho sees Changmin is when he’s out to get some bandages, a superhero’s must for home medical kits.
He runs around a corner and bumps into a brick of a man and they both tumble to the floor, and a bunch of vitamin C tablets scatter to the ground. Yunho ends up splayed across the dude below him, fist digging into the man’s stomach and hand mushed in his face. He lifts himself up using the man’s face, and he screams a bit under the push, then Yunho takes his hand away and is about to say sorry when he catches sight of who’s below him.
“You owe me two hundred dollars,” is the first thing he can think to say.
Changmin splutters and rubs his nose, then his eyes narrow at the voice. “You.”
Yunho points an accusing finger at the teleporter. “Your face broke my window and it cost me two hundred dollars to repair.”
Changmin gives him such a disgusted look that Yunho thinks he might as well have shoved a moldy sock in his face to get the same reaction. “What? As far I remember I’ve never even been near your house. I don’t even know where you live!”
“So what?” Yunho says, and he gets back to his feet, hands on his hips. “It’s not like you can’t pay for it. Fork it over you stingy jerk.”
Changmin sits up and scoffs. “Just because I can afford it, doesn’t mean I’m going to buy you a new window. If your window broke, obviously it’s your fault.”
Yunho picks up his superhero radio that’s fallen to the floor and blows the dust off it before clipping it back on his belt. He opens his mouth to argue but Changmin cuts him off before he can even start.
“What’s your special superhero power, anyway?” Changmin asks, clambering up. "Your family liked to keep it on the low, but I might as well ask now I've met you."
Yunho rubs the back of his neck and mumbles, the words lost in his mouth. He doesn’t want to admit what he is to Changmin, because even if he’s proud of himself, he doesn’t want this jerk laughing at his expense like everyone does.
“I’m sorry? Would you care to speak up? Some of us weren’t gifted with the ability of super hearing you know.”
Yunho burns bright red and purses his lips. “I can… I can…”
Changmin rolls his eyes. “Can what? Spit it out, Beauty and the Geek starts in fifteen minutes and I really need to get home because Jennifer just—“
“I CAN CONJURE COTTON, OKAY?!”
Changmin stops and looks at Yunho, mouth agape. “You can… conjure… cotton?”
“Yes.”
Changmin holds up his hand and coughs once. “Let me get this right. Your superpower is that you’re able to conjured cotton… and you chose to be a superhero…”
Yunho nods, defiant. “That’s right.”
Changmin guffaws and bites his lip, then bursts out into peals of laughter. He bends over and actually fucking slaps his knee. “YOU CONJURE, HAHAHA, COTTON?”
Yunho is horribly offended and holds his hand to his heart. “IT HAS ITS MERITS.”
Changmin’s now fallen onto the floor with the force of his laughter, and it’s so loud Yunho thinks he might break an ear drum. “LIKE—LIKE WHAT? OH NO, YOU’LL COTTON THE VILLAINS TO DEATH, HAHAHA I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE HEARD ALL YEAR.”
Yunho puffs his chest out and gives the vibrating lump on the floor a hard kick. “I would not cotton someone to death! I’m a superhero, I don’t kill!”
“OH GOD. OH MY GOD. OH SWEET BABY JESUS IN THE HEAVENS ABOVE. THIS IS JUST GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.” He rolls onto his back, and actual tears are coming from his eyes. “I DON’T EVEN NEED TO GO HOME AND—AND WATCH BEAUTY AND THE GEEK, THIS IS A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER. OH SWEET LORD.”
Yunho conjures a ball of cotton and fucking shoves it down Changmin’s throat.
Changmin screams, but it’s muffled, and Yunho feels undeniably smug.
He crosses his arms and laughs, “Who’s useless now, HUH?!”
Yunho blinks, and Changmin’s behind him, holding him in a choke hold. He’s pulled the cotton from his mouth. “If you ever, ever stick cotton in my mouth again, I’ll flash you up to the fucking liberty statue and hang you from the fucking torch.”
“I’d like to see you try!” Yunho says, and really, he shouldn’t have.
He really shouldn’t have.
Next thing he knows, he’s hanging a hundred meters off the ground with only his leather jacket holding him on one of the torches spikes.
This time, Yunho screams.
“Look at you, hanging by a thread.” Changmin says from above him.
Yunho thinks very angrily that this is definitely not an appropriate time to be making puns.
He quickly spikes his fingers out like a claw and the cotton draws out of each finger. He twiddles his fingers and makes himself a temporary hammock to sit on.
Changmin’s standing on the torch, and he holds on to the spike and leans closer, looking at Yunho’s fingers in disgust. “Ew, what the fuck? So cotton just comes out of your body? What are the physics behind it? Isn’t that unhealthy?”
“MAYBE I WOULD ANSWER YOU IF I WASN’T HANGING FROM THE FUCKING STATUE OF LIBERTY!” Yunho shrieks.
Changmin’s eyes widen comically. “Wow, touchy.” He grabs a hold of Yunho’s shoulder and flashes them out to central park.
Changmin tenses for a moment when they arrive, and Yunho just puts it down to the stress of having to transport matter and bend the laws of physics, or something complicated like that. He thinks it’s a bit rich that Changmin’s horrified by the prospect of cotton coming from his body when he can fucking manipulate the fabrics of reality.
Yunho whirls around and points an accusing finger and Changmin. “YOU!”
Changmin leans closer to the finger and puts a hand on his chin, considering.
“WHAT IF I FELL? AND DIED?”
Changmin shrugs and dips his head to the left to get a better look at Yunho’s finger.
“I’d just flash you back up. Whatever.”
“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A SUPERHERO, NOT A TERRORIZER.” He yanks his finger back and cradles it in his chest.
Changmin tuts and leans back, hands on hips. “It wasn’t that bad. Stop complaining.”
Yunho’s jaw almost hits the floor.
“You are insane. You are legitimately insane. And to think I owned your poster when—“ Yunho snaps his mouth shut.
“You owned my poster? You… you are seriously just an endless bag of entertainment, you know that? What, do you look up to me?”
Yunho sticks his nose in the air. “I did. I was a fan until I found out about how much of a dickhead you really were.”
Changmin smirks. “Ouch. My poor heart has been shattered. How ever will I recover? ”
Yunho’s about to come up with a fantastic retort, he really is, but then their radios go off, signaling a nearby incident.
There has been a nearby train jacking, and the suspect has control of the train and won’t hit the brakes. There’s at least a hundred people inside and he’s threatening to explode the thing if he doesn’t get his ransom.
Changmin curses and stands, bending his knees, ready to teleport. Yunho leaps at him, not wanting to get left behind, and they both whirl away with a swish and pop.