Archive of Our Own

It started like any other day. 

Deku and Bakugou went out for their separate, totally not competitively gay runs. Aoyama made a shitty karaoke booth out of the shower as Iida’s friendly “Wake up, everyone!” screeching played in the background. Mina, Hagakure and Kaminari pretended the day didn’t exist, and Shinsou tried to be sly about feeding the illegal cat he thought nobody knew about and kept in his room.

It was normal, nothing out of the ordinary—until Sero screamed “What are tho-o-ose?” in the middle of the living room, cackling as he pointed at a tiny clear plastic package on the linoleum floor by the front dorm door. Jirou walked over, one thin, judging eyebrow raised at Sero, and picked up the package by its corner. It flopped down through the air, hanging wide open and displaying a dark purple bra with a hideous, grinning Luigi repeat pattern all over it.

“Oh, my God,” Momo said with a gasp, delicate hands covering her mouth as a faint blush dusted her cheeks.

“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen,” Tsuyu declared, disgust dripping off her tongue. “Burn it.”

“What’s all the commotion?!” Iida yelled, eyebrows furrowed so hard for so early in the morning. He burst into the room, head whipping around as he scanned the situation. He stopped as soon as he spotted the bra, back ramrod straight and face paler than Miruko’s hair. His mouth hung open as he stared at the bra.

“It was just lying by the door,” Jirou informed him. “Someone must have ordered it online. There’s no name or anything on it.”

Iida, with ginger fingers, took the package between his thumb and forefinger as if it was contaminated with a horrible, death-causing curse.

“What happened?” Kaminari asked through a yawn as he came down the stairs, scratching his head and stretching so his t-shirt rode up and exposed a tiny sliver of his tummy. Shinsou, who’d suddenly appeared, too, looked anywhere but at him.

Uraraka patterned down after him, yawning too and hair slightly mussed. “Yeah? Did Todoroki set fire to Bakugou’s curry again?”

“There has been an incident regarding packages from the internet,” Iida said with a huff, storming to the centre of the room.

“Oh, my God,” Kami let out. “Was Mineta playing porn too loud again?”

Jirou whipped around to face him. “Ew!”

Iida almost blew up. “What do you mean ‘again’ ?!”

“Who’s is it?” Shinsou drawled, stuffing his hands into his pockets like he really didn’t care as he squinted at the bra with curious disgust.

Uraraka let out something between a howl and a scream as she fell into a fit of giggles. Her feet started to float off the ground as her face turned bright pink.

“Holy shit,” Kami exclaimed, a grin tugging at his own face, too. “They’re so ugly. I love them.”

“Language!” Iida hissed and everyone ignored him.

“I hate them,” Tsuyu said as she grimaced.

Momo took in a deep breath, taking over as Iida continued to lose his cool like a whistling kettle. She placed the bra package onto the coffee table so everyone could lay their eyes on it and then regret that for the rest of their lives. “I take it that nobody here bought this, right? So it must be someone else in 1A who ordered it.”

Jirou sent Kaminari a pointed look. “Are we sure no one here bought it?”

“What?” Kami asked. “I didn’t buy it! I barely have any money!”

“You just said that you loved it and it’s perfectly like you to buy something like this.”

Sero snorted. “I mean, she’s not wrong.”

Kaminari gaped at his bro. “Can’t I appreciate good art?”

“Jail,” Tsuyu deadpanned and plopped down on one of the sofas surrounding the table. Uraraka fell into another round of giggles again. Sero tried to grab onto her as she floated up to the ceiling, but instantly started cursing as he rose up as well. 

“Oh, shit!” he yelped as something curled around his ankle, stopping his head from bonking the ceiling light.

“Sero! It’s just me,” the invisible space said.

“Hagakure!” Uraraka got out between laughs. “There’s a Luigi bra!” A finger quivered in the direction of the coffee table.

“What?” Hagakure glanced at the table and gasped, not that anyone could see her. Sero spotted her clothes shifting as she brought her hands to her face.

“No—wait!” It was too late. Hagakure had let go of him in her surprise and Sero’s head thumped against the ceiling.

Kaminari took a video, snickering to himself like an evil trash gremlin raccoon.

“Oh, my God,” Hagakure let out. Tsuyu shook her head and Shinsou blinked.

“Maybe it’s Mineta’s,” Shinsou suggested.

“I don’t want to think about it,” Jirou said and moved to walk away, but stopped by Momo’s side instead.

“Burn it,” Tsuyu said again.

“It’s someone’s property!” Iida reminded everyone, face pulled back in a way that made him look on the verge of burning it, too.

The green-haired girl gave him a look. “It’s my worst nightmare.”

“What’s your worst nightmare?” Mina asked, just coming into the room. Her face lit up. “Oh! Are we sharing secrets!? Who’s your crush?” She spotted Sero and Uraraka floating and cut herself off, questions on her tongue.

“I have a video of Sero being stupid,” Kami said with a giggle.

Her eyes lit up again, no longer caring about the floating duo. “Send.”

“Good morning to you, too,” Sero grumbled.

Iida cleared his throat. “Mina, did you order...something from the internet recently?”

The pink-haired girl tilted her head to the side. “No, I don’t think so. Why?” Iida pointed to the bra. “Oh. Oh. ”

“Yes.”

“Why the fuck is Cheeks and Soy Sauce on the fucking ceiling ?!” Bakugou burst through the front door, Midoriya right behind him with green windswept hair and bright, round eyes. They were both in their running gear and the wonderful smell of the outside air stained the room. 

“Good morning, everyone!” He waved at the group with a cheerfulness Bakugou hated.

“Bakugou,” Kami started, face serious and voice level for once. He placed a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder and, somehow, Bakugou didn’t blast him away with an explosion. “Did you buy a purple Luigi bra?”

Bakugou blasted Kaminari away with an explosion.

“Bakugou!” Momo and Iida exclaimed at the same time. Momo ran to Kaminari’s side as Jirou and Mina cackled.

Iida rounded on Bakugou. “That was unacceptable! You absolutely cannot—”

“Shut! Up!”

Bakugou spun around, huffing like the Big, Bad Wolf as he stormed out of the room. Uraraka chose this moment to deactivate her quirk and she and Sero came crashing down to the ground, crushing Bakugou’s angry frame under them.

Midoriya rushed over to them as Shinsou opened and closed his mouth, unsure exactly what to do.

“I don’t think Bakugou bought the Luigi bra,” Kaminari declared, coming to stand next to Shinsou and rubbing the back of this head slightly.

“You’re dumb,” Shinsou told him but checked for any injuries to make sure he was okay.

Mina snickered at them both. “Aw, look at you.” Kami picked up the bra and threw it at her face.

“I didn’t buy it either!” Midoriya suddenly exclaimed, running back over as Bakugou thumped up the stairs.

“It has to be Mineta,” Jirou stated, and everyone agreed. No one else in 1A had this bad taste.

Tokoyami raised an eyebrow at them all as they passed him in a group, Iida holding the bra in front of him like it was the most damning piece of evidence to ever grace the Earth.

“Good morning, everyo— Oh! Oh, my God. Is that…”

“Yes,” Momo told Ojiro. The boy blinked, nodded, and disappeared into the bathroom to brush his teeth, clearly not wanting anything to do with the situation.

“Mineta!” Jirou yelled as she knocked on his door.

Iida cleared his throat. “You’re, uh, package came. Now, I think we need to talk about what is an appropriate thing to send to the dorms—”

“Dude, it’s just a bra,” Kami butt in.

The door swung open almost immediately, revealing Mineta’s purple eyes, glowing with glee. He was so short.

“My package!” he exclaimed.

“Uh, yes.” Iida gave him the plastic bag.

Mineta frowned quizzically. “This isn’t my package.”

“What.” Sero’s mouth dropped open.

“Oh, did that come today?” Todoroki asked from the other end of the corridor. Everyone’s heads turned to face him at the same time. Todoroki stepped closer to them, taking the plastic bag from Mineta’s hands. “Thanks for getting it,” he said as he turned around, inspecting the bag with an emotionless face. “There’s a Waluigi one coming, too, by the way. I got my Dad’s credit card,” he added with a grin.

Everyone blinked, too stupefied to say anything.

“No, Todoroki, no, ” Tsuyu whispered under her breath, horror seeping through her features.

The area was silent for a whole of two seconds before Kaminari shot after the dual-haired boy. “Todoroki, wait! Where’d you buy it?! Can you buy me a Toad one?”

“Oh, God,” Shinsou muttered. “Did my boyfriend just ask Todoroki to buy him Toad themed lingerie with Endeavor’s money?”

Uraraka died again, clapping Sero’s shoulder in the process by accident and bringing him up to the ceiling once more. Sero grabbed onto Mina’s hand in a panic, clutching onto it as his feet floated up. Mina felt like she was holding onto a Sero-shaped balloon.

“Yes,” Tsuyu said, patting Shinsou with sympathy. “Yes, he did.”