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“That’s a whole lot of IQ points in one area,” Sam mused.
Bucky looked over to the corner of the bar, where Jane, Helen, Darcy, Christine, Hope, and Wanda were gathered in the corner booth, talking animatedly.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” Scott asked.
Rhodes took a swig of his club soda and then answered, “Whatever it is, it's probably above our heads, boys.”
Sam looked over at the women fondly and then nodded, “I hope Wanda appreciates us being designated drivers for her birthday.”
Bucky patted Sam on the shoulder and commanded, “Come on, man. Rack 'em up. Let’s play pool.”
“You gonna buy me some nachos, Barnes? I’m very much feeling like doing some nacho-ing right now.”
“The lyric is, money for nothing and chicks for free,” Hope argued.
Darcy narrowed her eyes and proclaimed, “False! It's checks for free. Money and checks. Chicks makes no sense.”
“No…it makes sense,” Helen seemed like she was thinking very hard about it.
“Janey, back me up,” Darcy poked her friend in the thigh.
“We could look it up…” she mused.
“Well that’s no fun,” Christine laughed between sips of her margarita. She pointed at Hope who was reaching for her phone. “Don’t you dare look it up, Van Dyne!”
“But… I’m right.”
Wanda sipped her margarita before quietly offering. “We should think of putting a chicken coop on the Compound grounds.”
The women nodded in agreement.
With a mouth full of nachos, Jane declared, “The Aquatic Ape Hypothesis doesn’t hold water.”
“Ha!” Darcy elbowed Wanda in the ribs, “Janey made a pun-ny.”
Christine was waving a chip around while she asserted, “The diving reflex had to come from somewhere, Foster.”
Scott was approaching when Helen spoke up with vehemence, “Two words, ladies, developmental plasticity.”
“Um…” Six pairs of eyes swung to him. “More margaritas, ladies?”
Hope raised her nearly empty glass, “Hell yes, more margaritas!”
Christine widened her eyes, “Really?”
“As God is my witness,” Darcy asserted with her mouth full, “That’s where the term ‘ostracism’ comes from. Every year the Greeks would pick the biggest asshole in politics and toss him out of Athens for ten years.”
Hope thought for a minute, “Do you think we could institute that in Washington?”
“How the hell do we decide who the biggest asshole in Washington is?” Darcy asked.
Wanda took a swig of her margarita and then murmured, “I think we all know who the biggest asshole in Washington is.”
Rhodey regarded the women thoughtfully, “How many rounds have they had?”
Bucky took a swig of his beer and then answered, “Just two.”
“Of nachos?”
Bucky scowled a little in thought and said, “Five.”
“You think they will let me sneak a chip?”
“I wouldn’t try it. Jane slapped Sam’s hand earlier when he tried.”
Rhodey took a breath and asserted, “Yeah, but that was Sam. I’m going for it.”
“It’s called Fatal Familial Insomnia,” Helen explained.
Christine signaled to the waitress to come over and then asked, “That’s a prion disease, right?”
Helen nodded in affirmative.
Darcy loaded up a chip with salsa and guacamole and handed it to Rhodey with a smile when he approached the table.
Jane asked, “Isn’t there a prion disease that is caused by human cannibalism?”
Rhodey looked at his chip, covered in green chunky guacamole and blood-red salsa, and frowned. He set it down on Darcy’s little plate.
Hope elbowed him, “Hey, could you be a dear and tell the waitress we need more nachos, margaritas, and some of those spicy buffalo wings?”
Darcy nodded and added, “Dripping with sauce. Like dripping. I wanna look like Lizzie Borden when I eat those things.”
Rhodey swallowed hard. “Sure.”
Wanda thought about what Hope was saying.
“So even if they are separated…the particles still influence each other?”
“Mmmhmm. It’s called quantum entanglement.”
Wanda softly smiled, “That’s rather nice.”
“Subatomic particles in love,” Helen mused.
The waitress approached and Christine crowed, “Wings!”
Darcy leaned over and kissed Wanda on the cheek, “Happy Birthday, you adorable subatomic particle, you.”
Bucky brought over an ice cream sundae with a single candle stuck in it.
“Happy 21st Birthday, Wanda,” he said as he set it down.
“Awww,” Hope smiled, “You’re just a sweet little marshmallow aren’t you, Bucky Barnes?”
“I think I should order you ladies some water, too.”
“Poo. No fun,” Christine accused, pointing her finger at him in an accusatory way.
“Darcy? You need anything else?”
“Yeah,” Darcy asked, “We’re trying to solve the mystery of the Dyatlov Pass Incident. You have any theories, babe?”
“Umm…” Bucky took a few steps back.
“No…you didn’t!”
“I don’t remember,” he shrugged and he backed away with a grin on his face.
“You lying jerk! It wasn’t Hydra,” Darcy complained tossing a chip at him.
“I still think it was a Yeti,” Helen said sagely.
“Seriously, though,” Jane asked, “Who’d win in a fight? Hela or Carol?”
Hope gestured with her chip, “How is this even a discussion? Carol.”
“But Hela beat up Thor,” Jane argued.
“No offense, Jane, but I was at the battle at the old Compound. Carol could kick Hela’s ass.”
Wanda nodded in agreement.
Darcy then asked, “Which of them do you think is a better kisser?”
They all simultaneously answered, “Carol.”
“You just look at their earlobes,” Wanda told them.
“You are lying!” Hope accused.
“I’m not. That’s how you tell.”
“Hey, Babe?” Darcy yelled over to the men playing pool. “Do you know how to tell what color eggs chickens lay?”
“You look at their earlobes,” he responded.
Darcy opened and shut her mouth a few times. “Okay. Glad you knew. Just checking.”
Wanda smiled into her margarita, “You’re mad at him now, aren’t you?”
“Yes. But I don’t know why.”
Jane looked over at Darcy and narrowed her eyes, “Oh shit…here we go.”
“I have a mission! I have to find out how Bucky knows about chicken earlobes!”
From the pool table, Bucky called back, “Doll, if you remember this conversation tomorrow, I’ll buy you a chicken.”
She reached down and picked up a Buffalo wing and pondered the sauce dripping down her fingers, “I think you already did.”
Sam started toward the table.
“Man, just order your own,” Bucky protested. “You’ve already gotten in trouble once. And they seem to be getting…feisty.”
“As your girl says, it’s the principle of the thing….”
Bucky rolled his eyes and muttered, “It’s your hand, man.” He headed to the bar to order Sam a plate of nachos. He ordered himself one of those blooming onion things. He loved those.
Darcy examined her Buffalo wing which she had dipped in the queso, the sauce, and the cheese mixed together in glorious spicy goo.
“I maintain that Sweet Dreams are, in fact, made of cheese.”
They all startled when they heard a resounding ‘slap’.
Sam was pulling his hand away and frowning.
Jane didn’t even look up. She just demanded, “I told you to get your own, Sam.”
“You are mean to me, Jane Foster. Mean!”
They watched him slink away and then Wanda piped up, “Did you know it takes ten pounds of milk to make one pound of cheese?”
“Shut the front door,” Hope exclaimed.
“It's true,” Wanda replied with a grin and a nod.
“I think it’s time we take them home,” Scott mused.
“That’s a lot of IQ points that were drowned in queso and margaritas,” Sam agreed.
The six ladies were swaying back and forth singing, “The ants are my friends, and they’re blowing in the wind, the ants are just blowing in the wind.”
“Let’s divide ‘em up,” Rhodey instructed. “I’ve got Helen and Palmer.”
“Wanda can ride with Darcy and me,” Bucky offered.
“Obviously, I can drive Hope,” Scott said.
They all turned to Sam who was shaking his head in despair. “C’mon guys. Foster is mean to me.”
“I think she likes you, Sam,” Bucky teased.
Scott nudged Rhodey, “Did you notice that the only thing we talked about tonight were the girls?”
Rhodey shrugged, “I’m sure they talked about us all night, too.”