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Neil stared up at the house in front of them. Abby and Wymack’s house.
There were six other cars there for their friends and family. He looked over at Andrew who sat behind the wheel. His hands twitched. Neil wondered if he was craving a cigarette. He looked over his shoulder at Henry and Ruby.
Ruby was wrestling with her seat belt and Henry was trying to help her out of it. Henry raised his hands and backed off, pulling out his phone instead. Ruby tugged helplessly on her seat belt before looking up to Neil, pouting.
The pouting worked better with Andrew. Andrew was a sucker for her big green eyes. Neil knew how to say no to her. It broke Andrew’s heart to even think about it.
“One second, Ruby,” Neil hummed. He looked over to Andrew. He spoke in quiet German. “It’ll be okay, you know? Kevin’s a lot better now, with his daughter. Henry and Liam get along. Aaron’s kids are Ruby’s age. They’re our friends.”
“I know,” he said quietly. “They haven’t seen…”
He looked down at his arms. His bare arms that once were covered by arm bands. Now they were adored with roses, wrapping around his forearm to his elbow. His scars were obvious, still. There were so many, how could they not be.
Bee had suggested it as a way to take the power away from his past. He’d been fine around home and around his teammates, but now...It was different.
Neil dug around in his bag and pulled out the arm bands. He held them out to Andrew. “If you aren’t ready, they don’t need to see.”
Andrew took the arm bands, pulling them on fast.
Neil zipped up his bag and climbed out to get Ruby.
He helped her out of the car and watched her run around to Andrew’s side. She held her arms up to him. Without complaint or a second thought, he picked her up and started walking toward the house.
Henry followed behind Neil.
Neil stepped in the house and fought the urge to turn on his heels and leave. It was so loud. He made the smallest of noises but it was enough to draw Andrew’s attention. He turned to look at Neil, studying him.
Neil shook his head. He was fine.
Andrew hesitated, but pushed on into the kitchen.
Neil stumbled back into Henry when Aaron’s twins shouted out for their uncle Andrew. Henry moved so he wasn’t touching Neil, watching him carefully.
The chatter in the kitchen rose louder at the sight of Ruby. They all knew they adopted a little girl, seen pictures but this was the first time getting to meet her. And Ruby loved meeting new people.
Neil covered his ears, backing up a bit. Henry started to panic, torn between getting Andrew and helping Neil. Andrew was already pulled into the thick of the crowd.
Neil watched Renee whisper something to Allison before moving down the hall and urging Neil up the stairs. Neil distantly watched her encourage Henry to go say hi to the other’s.
Renee guided Neil into a guest room and carefully took his bag from him. She dug around in the bag before emerging with her the MP3 player and headphones. The same five songs have always been on there.
He shoved the headphones in and closed his eyes. He listened to the sounds, mouthing along to the music.
A song later he opens up his eyes.
Renee sat in front of him, just waiting. She gestured for him to take his headphones out. He shook his head.
“I told Allison to have them quiet down okay?” she said. “Kev’s down the hall with Jessie because it’s too loud.”
Neil read her lips and nodded.
“Andrew,” he signed.
“Andrew?” Renee asked. He nodded again. “He’ll be up in a second.”
Neil watches her go. He pulls out his dinosaur stuffed animal. He isn’t sure why he does what he does next but he makes his way down the hall. He opens up another door. He’s pretty sure it’s Wymack and Abby’s room.
Kevin is sitting on the bed with Jessie who is crying into his arms. Kevin is crying too, Neil realizes.
Neil just stands there. He doesn’t move until Andrew calls his name.
Neil turns around to see Andrew in the hall. He pulls out his headphones. Kevin is standing in the doorway now too, wondering what’s going on.
“I--It was--Kevin--” Neil clenched his fists. “Renee…” He made a frustrated noise.
“Sign,” Andrew said quietly, carefully taking the stuffed animal from him, freeing his hands.
“It was too loud downstairs. Renee said that Kevin was up here with Jessie. I wanted to check on them.”
“Jessie just got too overwhelmed. We came up here, but I don’t know how to calm her down,” Kevin said quietly.
“How do you normally help her,” Andrew asked, handing the stuffed animal back to Neil.
He played with the fur.
“I don’t know, she usually plays with her toys,” Kevin shrugged.
“What kind of toys?”
“She really likes this one slinky--”
“Did you bring it?” Andrew asks.
“No.”
Andrew rolled his eyes, stepping around him to get into the room.
Neil clutched his dinosaur toy close as he watched. He couldn’t imagine going places without it. He took his bag everywhere he went.
“Hi, Jessie,” Andrew said in a gentle, quiet voice. His hands moved in sign as he spoke to her. “Do you remember me?”
She nods.
“Good, good. My husband, Neil, he’s just like you. He doesn’t like loud noises either,” Andrew said. Jessie’s eyes flickered over to him. “He likes to listen to music to calm down. Will that help you?”
Jessie shook her head no.
“Do you like certain textures? Neil really likes his dinosaur. It’s super soft. What about you?”
Jessie bit her lip. Then she signed that she liked the blanket she had at home.
Andrew looked over at Kevin. “Go see if you can find any blankets like it.”
Kevin hesitated for a minute, but then saw the look Jessie gave him. He turned and left in search of blankets.
“What else would help?” Andrew asks.
Jessie simply signed the word “dad”. She looked at the doorway expectantly, patiently. Neil wondered if Ruby and Henry cared so much about them.
Kevin returned with a couple blankets. He held them out to Jessie. He let her pick the blanket, curling up with it on the bed.
Kevin went to thank Andrew, but he stopped him.
“Communication is hard, okay? You have to ask and be specific in order to help. It’s been nearly seven years, you’d think you’d learn,” Andrew said, walking out.
He closed the door behind him and turned his attention to Neil. “I wasn’t there for you.”
Neil shook his head. “It’s okay. It wasn’t that bad. I just needed a minute.”
He pet the dinosaur absently.
Andrew nods. “Well, you missed Ruby calling Aaron the ugly twin.”
“Damn,” Neil laughs. “Missed all the fun. I’d hate to miss any more.”
He started towards the stairs.
“You sure you’re fine?” Andrew asks. Neil nodded.
“Yes, I am fine. And I mean that.”
-
Neil was sitting with Henry, Liam and Matt. Andrew watched from the swing set as he pushed Ruby.
He was content to sit there pushing her, until Aaron’s rugrats ran over. Anastasia and Amelia came rushing over, jumping onto the swing and climbing up to go down the slide. Amelia yelled out for Aaron to come push her.
Aaron had the audacity to glare at Andrew as he came over.
“Hi Aaron,” Ruby giggled, waving up at him.
Aaron grumbled something and started pushing Amelia. Anastasia went down the slide once before turning around to climb up it. Aaron yelled at her to be careful.
“Two kids is a lot, huh?” Andrew said. Aaron looked at him surprised. He nods. “It helps when your kids behave.”
Aaron nearly dropped his drink. He turned fast to glare at him.
“And Bee says I’m the one that's rude,” he snaps in German.
“It’s rude to talk in a language we can’t understand, dad!” Anastasia exclaims.
Aaron looks like he might punch him.
“Bee’s not wrong,” Andrew hums in English.
“Who’s Bee?” Ruby asks, looking up at Andrew.
“My therapist. And Henry’s,” he said.
Aaron raised her eyebrow. “You told her?”
“She’s five, Aaron. Of course not. No five year old needs to know those things.”
Aaron pushed Amelia again, just watching her for a moment. “You aren’t ashamed?”
Andrew studied him for a moment. “Hey, Ruby? Why don’t you Amelia and Anna go bother Nicky. He’d love to play.”
Nicky was here today, as a special treat. And he had horrible baby fever. He’d be more than content to play with the kids.
“Ashamed of what Aaron?” he asked once they’d run off.
Aaron shrugged. “Any of it. All of it.”
“I can’t change it. I didn’t choose it. No reason for shame.”
Aaron watched Nicky pick up Ruby and carry her inside with a smile. Amelia and Anna followed close behind. Neil was watching Ruby when he turned his attention to Andrew catching his eye. He raised an eyebrow.
Andrew shook his head at Neil. When he turned his eyes back to Aaron, he found Aaron’s eyes on his armbands, on the tattoo’s peaking out. Then his eyes snapped to the ring on Andrew’s finger.
“You got tattoos?” he asks.
“I have a lot of tattoos, you’ll have to be more specific.”
“On your arms, you dumb fuck.”
“Again, Aaron, I’ve got lots of tattoos,” he said, just to annoy him.
Aaron looked absolutely pisssed. “Under your arm bands.”
Andrew looked down. He nodded. “Bee’s idea. She said it’d take away the power,” he said quietly.
Aaron looked surprised by his honesty. “The ring?”
“Neil got it for our anniversary. He...it’s got him and Henry’s names on the inside. I’m getting Ruby’s added soon.”
He held it out to him. Aaron took it out, examining it. He looked up at his twin suspiciously.
“God, he’s made you an absolute sap,” Aaron huffed.
“Who said I wasn’t before?” Andrew hummed, taking the ring back. ”And it’s not like Katelyn doesn’t do the same for you.”
Andrew started walking toward the chair left open next to Neil. He sat down, his hand reaching out for Neils.
-
Neil watched Andrew sit down. Matt lit up, greeting him as Neil and Andrew’s hands interlocked. Neil smiled.
“Hi, Matt,” Andrew said, lounging back.
“You alright?” Henry asks, watching Andrew.
Andrew nods, glancing at Liam. “How’re you?”
Liam looks surprised. He sits up straighter. “I’m good. Thank you, uh, yeah.”
Neil squeezed Andrew’s hand gently. Andrew studies the boy sitting next to Henry. He glances between them, noticing something, Neil realizes. Andrew doesn’t say what.
“You seem happier,” Andrew says instead.
Liam lowers his eyes. “Yeah, I am.”
Matt’s watching his son. He’s proud. Neil sees that. It’s how Andrew looks at Henry, at him when he calms himself down on his own.
Pride.
Neil looked over at his husband then at Aaron who was talking quietly with Katelyn. He looked back at Andrew, squeezed his hand twice to get his attention.
Andrew looked over just in time for Neil to sign that he was proud of Andrew. Andrew looked caught off guard, he didn’t know how to react. Henry, with a decent grasp on sign language, made a gagging sound.
“Fuck off,” Andrew muttered to Henry, kissing Neil’s knuckles and sitting back.
Neil watched him. He wasn’t smiling, but he was happy.