Chapter Text
Whenever you said ‘See you in Hell’ you never really meant it. But, right now, you regret ever saying it—Well, kind off. At least now you can say that you've been there when somebody tells you to go to hell.—
The reason why? It's because you're currently standing in 'Hell'.
“Wait. Hold up, can you repeat what you just said? I'm in Hell?”
"Yes, that is right. Though we prefer to call it Devildom." Answered the giant, red-haired man.
" And the rea—"
“Wait, If I'm in Hell—or Devildom as they call it, you know what I'm going to call it that since I feel like I'm swearing every time I say 'Hell'— does that mean I died? I don't even know why I ended up here! Well, I guess there was that one time I stole my roommate's ice cream, but, that was one time!” You asked/yelled.
"Well, I was going to tell you before you cut me off with your question. And no, you did not die." Said the giant, red-haired, man again, he looked below where he was sitting, and said,
"But, I must ask, Lucifer, do humans usually ask many questions?"
"Well, usually no. But, humans do usually ask many questions when confused or afraid." Said a new voice.
When I looked at the source of the new voice, I was met with a tall—but not as tall as the red-haired, man, I really need to learn his name so I can stop referring to him as the 'giant, red-haired, man'— handsome, black-haired man. He looked strict and the look of seriousness on his face proves that.
“Wait! He's Lucifer? As in Satan Lucifer?” I asked, confused. Before anyone could answer, a rather loud scoff was heard. "Excuse me?" I turn to the direction where the voice originated from and saw a blond-haired, man. He was handsome like the previous man, but, unlike the previous man who had a serious look on his face, he looked offended.
"For your information, I am not this loyal lap dog, who would do anything for its master." He said. Though, his words confused me, loyal lap dog? what kind of insult was that? Yet, even though I didn't fully understand what he said, I could still feel the rage from his words. Sheesh, whatever issues he had for 'Lucifer' it sure is strong.
"Well, you heard from Satan—'Wait, Satan?!' You yell in your head, 'I managed to offend Satan?! Damn, I regret ever saying anything about Him being Lucifer and vice versa.' You say in your head.—We are not the same person. You humans sure do mix up our names a lot. And to clarify I am Lucifer and the one who just snapped at you right now is Satan. " Lucifer said, I was about to open my mouth to ask about the lap dog insult before he added, "And no, I am not a lap dog." Well, there goes your question.
“And now that we have cleared up the name misunderstanding. I suppose I—” The red-haired, man began.
"Wait!" I interrupted him. "If that's Satan" I point at the aforementioned blond, "And that's Lucifer" I switch the direction of my index finger to the black-haired, man. "Then, who are you? A spokesperson?" I say before moving my index finger for the final time to the red haired, man.
The room was extremely silent
I don't know if I said something wrong, but, from the looks on their faces, it looks like I did. Lucifer looked bewildered, his face alone screamed 'Did you really just say that?' Satan looked shocked but amused and two other men—who I don't know the names of— also looked shocked, one of the two who was eating almost dropped his cheeseburger—or at least some kind of burger— thankfully he didn't drop it, that would have been a waste of food.
"I mean, I know that you guys are probably powerful demons, but seriously?! You hire someone else to speak for you when you're right here? Now, that's what I call narcissistic.
"I know you all probably think that I'm just some random human that has no life, but could you at least give me some respect?!" You finish your little rant and notice the room has turned from extremely silent to deadly silent.
'Did my rant knock some sense to them? It better have.' You think, you weren't usually one to lose your temper but, when you're dealing with demons, it just comes naturally.
You don't know how long you guys sat there in silence, but, finally, somebody broke the ice. Unfortunately that somebody was the red-haired, giant, himself. He pointed at himself and said,
"A spokesperson? me?"
Way to break the ice, big guy. Seriously? I go off on a rant and you only notice the 'Spokesperson' part?
"Pardon me, but I was about to introduce myself before you rudely interrupted me." Oh, so that was what he was about to say before you 'Rudely' interrupted him. Ok, to be fair you did rudely interrupt him. You definitely need some manners, but now's not the time.
"I suppose I should introduce myself, I just hope that someone doesn't interrupt me again." he said, he emphasized the word someone, and I'm guessing that someone is me, so no more interrupting him, got it. "My name is Diavolo," He said. Diavolo? Isn't that another name for the devil?
"I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know of me."
Oh shit.
"And someday soon, I will be crowned king of Devildom."
You're so fucked.