Work Text:
Jack sat in his car picking at his nails nervously as he watched the house across the street from him. It was Ralph's, or more specifically, Ralph’s dad’s house. Jack was no stranger to this house but yet in that moment, it seemed so foreign to him. The house was abuzz with people. Ralph’s dad was out for the week and Ralph thought that a small get together before school elections would help him with votes. Jack knew this had to be Piggy’s idea. Ralph hated parties. At least in grade ten year, he did but a lot could change over a few months.
It was cold outside and Jack's car emitted a fog of smoke from the back. He needed to go in and just get it over with. He needed to see him.
Jack had asked Ralph out the beginning of Sophmore year. They'd had an interesting relationship up to that. In junior high, they hated each other and Jack constantly taunted Ralph and his friends. Then in grade 9 they'd had all the same classes and talked more than either one of them had intended. They started to hang out outside of school, Jack would go to Ralph's football games and lie to his friends that he wanted to make fun of how bad their JV team was but In all honestly, he wanted to support Ralph. All the years up to that Ralph’s victories had felt like Jack's losses and there were a lot of victories for Ralph but when they became friends Ralph’s wins made Jack happy like it was a win for both of them.
Jack first kissed him in his car. It was after the last game of football season and Instead of going out with Simon or Piggy or even his own team Ralph and Jack had gone out for ice cream. Ralph pushed for something sweet since his diet has been boringly healthy in season. They sat in Jack's car together outside of Ralph’s house with the car running and heat pumping and Ralph had thanked him for paying and for the ride and said all of his goodbyes but was lingering in his seat. Jack leaned his body over the middle of the car and kissed Ralph rather hard on the lips. Ralph smiled into the kiss and tried to climb onto Jack's lap but stopped when they triggered the car horn. They laughed so hard that tears had formed in both of their eyes and then Ralph quickly climbed back into the passenger seat as his houses porch light was turned on.
They made it official a few weeks later as exclusive and nothing changed except a few friends finding out, that and Jack was now in the clichéd routine of calling Ralph “Babe,” Wich, Ralph adored but would deny until the day he died. They were each other’s first everything and while sexual endeavors aren't as seamless or simple as they're painted out to be in romcoms they enjoyed every bit of it. Everything was great in both of their eyes. Then Summer rolled in and Ralph had told Jack as they were laying cuddled in Jack's bed that his father planned for them to go to France over the summer. Jack kissed him and told him that was great for him and summer was going to be dull as all things anyway. He told Ralph to learn some dirty words in France and when he comes back Ralph can use them in bed. Ralph laughed and combed his fingers through Jack's hair but couldn’t help being sad that he wasn’t going to see him for three months.
France turned out to be a bigger problem than Jack thought. They’d FaceTime when their scheduals matched up, which was rare, but Ralph could never speak for long and he was always near his dad so the conversations weren’t anything exciting. Jack was lonely and bored and really horny. Ralph would send him pictures sometimes that would drive him mad but phone sex was out of the question with Ralph basically sharing a room with his father. The pictures couldn’t get him all the way there just by themselves so really they were trouble than worth.
On July 21 Jack woke up with a text from Roger saying plainly
"There's a party tonight there's drinks and the twins are coming"
Separate text
"I'm going"
Jack knew that “the twins are coming” meant there was going to be drugs at the party and honestly he was ready to let loose. He hadn't been to a proper party since December since Ralph never wanted to go with him and Jack never had a problem with that but tonight Ralph wasn't here to tell him to be responsible or to take an Uber home after one drink. Ralph wasn't here to text him throughout the night checking in so when the time reached around 9 ish to Jack was ready to go hard.
The twins did bring drugs; nothing hard just edibles but Jack made sure to eat two cookies at the beginning of the night. He also pounded back three shots with Roger and Maurice who were having a drinking contest. The music was pumping throughout the house and a bunch of the Seniors were there who were either going to a local university or not going to university at all.
Jack was sitting on the couch at half-past ten. The edible had set in and Jack's head was spinning but in a good way. He didn't notice her sit down next to him but when he turned his head one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen was sitting next to him. She was tall, maybe as tall as him, and had long brown hair that has been styled in loose curls. She must have felt his stare because she turned to him and smiled gently.
“Do you go to our school?” Jack leaned toward her and shouted over the music.
“No, I'm visiting my cousin Richie. You know him?”
“Oh, Richie yeah” Jack nodded and scooted closer to her “I have no idea who that is.” She laughed and when she smiled her nose went crooked to the left. It was adorable.
“You want a drink?” Jack asked
“No, I'm ok I'm acting as the designated driver for the night.”
Ralph was always Jack's designate driver. Once Jack called him at 3 am and Ralph drove for 20 minutes one way to pick him up.
“Got you”
“I wouldn't say no to some sparkling water though.” She smiled again and looked Jack in the eyes.
“Yeah, I'll be right back.” He got up and caught his balance. “Don't move.”
“Wouldn't dream of it.” She called out after him.
Jack got her a canned sparkling water and took another shot.
They talked for what felt like hours about school and university and maybe it was the fact that Jack hadn't had a real conversation with someone who wasn't Roger or his mum all summer or maybe she was just so pretty that if she started to talk about something as plain and boring as the weather he'd be enamored but either way Jack was content for the first time in a while. When he made her laugh she touched his arm like Ralph did and her eyes were green like his too. She asked him at a point if he had a girlfriend and Jack swallowed and responded that he didn't have a girlfriend. He hadn’t remember leaning in and kissing her but at some point jack registered her lips against his and kept going. His head started to spin as she smiled into the kiss and ran a hand in his hair like Ralph always did. Jack rubbed a hand up her leg and she quickly stood up and grabbed his hand. He let her lead him to a bedroom but they were locked weather as a precautionary measure or a sign that the room was already being used. She lead him to a bathroom and Jack locked the door. She sat on the marble countertop and pulled him closer. There was no arguing that she was hot and when she touched Jack his skin burned but she didn't look a thing like Ralph. Jack closed his eyes and imagined it was him.
When they finished Jack stabled himself on the marble counter and put his head on her shoulders. He felt terribly guilty but also tired and high so they stayed like that until she kissed his head and pulled up her jeans.
“That was great Jack. I'm heading home Tuesday but if your ever in Edinburgh you have my Instagram.” She spoke and Jack sat on the counter now fully releasing what he did. Guilt made his head hurt. She left and Jack swung open the door right after her suddenly feeling like needing to leave as fast as he could. As they left the bathroom together Jack saw something that made his heart stop. Ralphs friend Peter, or Piggy as Jack had started to call him in the 7nth grade and never really stopped, watched them with an open mouth. He went from looking shocked to angry. Starring at Jack and making him feel worse if it was even possible.
Jack drove home, speeding. He fell into bed. Sleep couldn't solve anything but Jack hopped when he woke up maybe hed find this to be a dream.
The worst part was when he woke up he'd received a text message from Ralph saying
"I miss you so much and I'm thinking of you extra tonight if you catch my drift ;) anyway, ignore me. Bonne Nuit even though it's like 9am for you."
Jack truly felt sick.
So Jack sat in his car outside Ralph's house after three horrible months of Ralph being home and refusing to speak to him. He just stopped texting back one day in the summer. Piggy must have told him and Jack couldn't even blame him for it. When school started again Ralph had switched out of any class with Jack in it and even went as far as to switch lunch periods. Jack was miserable and missed him so badly but didn't even know where to begin and he hadn't told any of his friends about Ralph and him dating so he couldn't even talk to anyone about it so when the twins had asked if he was going to Ralphs “party” he said he was.
Jack knew what he did was horrible and Ralph was probably just as heartbroken and depressed as him, if not more, but, he was still scared to walk up to Ralph’s porch and face him. Jack sucked down one last cigarette and took out his keys. He walked up to the house and knocked on the door. Ralph's stupidly perfect gorgeous face opened the door and Jack saw his facial expression switch.
“Jack- Why- What would make you possibly think you could come here after what you did.”
“Ralph can we talk. I-” Jack stumbled over his speech, cringing as he rehearsed this in his head a million times before. “I miss you. I miss you so bad. Please.” Tears began to brim in Ralph's eyes and Jack had to look down. Ralph was wearing the cardigan he had given him on their second date.
“Go fuck yourself.” Ralph scoffed but his voice wavered as if he didn't really mean it. Like he was convincing himself that he hated Jack. He began to shut his front door but Jack stopped it.
“Please Ralph please talk to me.” Jack looked up again and Ralph was still holding in tears. “I fucked up and I'm so sorry I didn't- I never wanted to-” Jack was trying to remember his speech when Simon came over to the door and spoke out gently, “Ralph you're out of ice.” He then saw the tears in Ralph's eyes and turned and see Jack. Simon flushed, looking incredibly embarrassed after he read the room. “Its ok. I'll figure it out, sorry to interrupt.” Simon waved at Jack and turned and walked away.
“Ralph-” Jack began again but Ralph interrupted
“Just -not here. Ok,” Ralph said and stepped out of the door, shutting it behind him. Ralph then walked past Jack off the porch and followed the cobblestone path that leads to their garden in the back yard. Jack followed silently. Ralph stopped and turned around when alone in the garden.
“Ok speak,” Ralph said wrapping his arms around himself like he was cold.
“It was just once and it was dumb. So dumb Ralph I love you! You're the one. I was thinking about you the whole time I was lonely and sad and I didn't tell you because I didn't want to ruin your trip.”
Ralph let out an empty laugh at that.
“ I know,” Jack said and tried to put a hand on his shoulder. Ralph jerked away but stayed silent. “I know. I'm a fucking idiot Ralph you're too good for me your perfect, fuck, you're going for class president for the third year in a row and I know you're going to win because you're you.” Ralph finally broke at that and hot tears streamed down his face. “I never understood why you gave me a chance. I'm the kid who showed up high for his end of the year exams. I drink and drive and have never got anything above a B in any class I've ever taken. But you chose me and I fucked that up and I’ll never forgive myself. Ralph, I've done a lot of horrible things in my life but the worst thing I've ever done is what I did to you.” Ralph was stifling sobs at this point and Jack's eyes were watering up.
“These last few weeks have been the worst weeks of my life. Please Ralph, Please, give me another chance.” Jack finished and Ralph looked down and whipped his tears with the sleeve of his cardigan. Ralph didn't speak he just fell forward into Jack's chest. He cried hard but silent and Jack just wrapped his arms around him and buried his nose in his hair. They stood like that for a while until Ralph spoke quietly.
“I've missed you so much. I've been so sad Jack.”
“I'm so sorry babe” Jack's voice was painfully remorseful.
“You can't ever do it again Jack. I don't think I could feel like that again.”
“Ralph.” Jack cupped his hands around Ralph's face and looked him in the eyes. “I love you so much.”
“That was the worst part.” Ralph said “As much as I wanted to hate you I couldn't. I kept loving you even when I didn't want to.” Jack hugged him again and wiped tears from his face.
They looked at each other “Can I -?”Jack cut himself off and decided it best to not try to push his boundaries but Ralph closed the distance and kissed him. Their kiss was slow and shallow but it felt like home. Everything felt right again and for the first time in months, it didn't feel like there was a ton of bricks sitting on Jack's chest. Ralph pulled away and reached down for Jack’s hand.
“Wanna come in?” Ralph asked
"God, I wish I could. My mum wants me home early. She set a curfew since she came home a few weeks ago and smelled Roger's pot.”
Ralph smiled “Roger's pot mmmhmm sure.”
Jack laughed “ It really is his ok? You know I'm a Marlboro and whiskey type guy.”
“Yeah I know,” Ralph said and kissed him again gently.
Jack and Ralph hand in hand walked back to the front of the house where Piggy was sitting with Simon. He was ranting about something but cut off when he saw them. His eyes lead down t their hands and he scowled confusedly. Ralph ignored them but Jack smiled shit eatingly at Piggy.
“Well can I see you tomorrow?” Jack asked as Ralph stood on the porch step above him. Their hands were still interlocked and Ralph was playing with his fingers as they stood there.
“What about this infamous curfew Merridew?”
“Aaah Eleanor's bookclub meets Saturday nights at 8, Gornick,” Jack said.
“I'll see you tomorrow.” Ralph and Jack smiled at each other, both relieved and overwhelmed with love for each other. Ralph turned to walk away up the stairs but Jack caught his arm and pulled him around and gave him a hard sloppy kiss. He knew Piggy and Simon could see them and he felt Piggy eyes burning a hole in his head but he didn't care. Ralph gave a small gasp and pulled away slapping his chest lightly.
“Jack-”
“They better get used to it,” Jack said slowly and then walked away waving back at Ralph from the sidewalk before finally turning and getting back into his car. The drive home was silent and he took the long way home with all the streetlights. He drove for the first time in maybe his whole life under the speed limit just enjoying the feeling of knowing it was going to be ok.