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Sakusa may have only had a few months of dating experience under his belt, but he felt it necessary to get one message out to the world before it was too late.
Do not date anyone with siblings.
More specifically, don’t date anyone with siblings as tight knit as Atsumu and Osamu. Siblings with as close of a relationship as them were almost extensions of one another. Atsumu told his brother everything. Practice gets cancelled? He texts Osamu about it. A commercial for a new instant ramen flavor pops up? Atsumu’s already rewinding the television to take a video of the ad. Spider in the bathtub? Call Osamu for help even though he’s on the other side of the country. Details of their relationship had to have slipped out during one of the twin’s daily conversations, which meant Osamu held some opinion on Sakusa dating his brother that Atsumu hadn’t yet shared with him.
There was no way in hell those opinions would be positive.
Sakusa considered himself skilled in the art of avoiding people. He much preferred to go about the errands of his day devoid of any extraneous social interaction, and his success freed him from waving back at classmates in grocery stores or sitting next to minor acquaintances in his university lectures. Naturally, he put those skills to good use when he and Atsumu began dating and managed to steer clear of any interactions with Osamu. However, in his very calculated efforts to stay away from Osamu, Sakusa failed to account for a volatile parameter called ‘Atsumu’ that would wreck his perfect avoidance streak.
“It’s just a coffee date. You don’t even needa talk to him, I’ll just run my mouth the whole time like usual!” Atsumu explained over the phone. Sakusa let out an audible groan and pinched at his nose bridge.
“Why do you even want me to join? I thought he was just coming to help you move some furniture.”
“Well, he hasn’t met ya yet. Yesterday, he asked if you were avoidin’ him.”
“I’m not!”
“Omi.”
“Fine, I am.” He burned with embarrassment at getting caught in his childish act. “Has Osamu said anything about...our relationship?”
“Mm, not really.” The loud rustle of a chip bag overlapped his words. “He doesn’t hate ya if that’s what yer worried about.”
“That doesn’t say much, Atsumu.”
“Ya just gotta trust me. Will you go? Please? For me?”
“Will me going make you happy?”
“Happier than our all-you-can-eat KFC buffet date.”
“Doubt that. But fine.”
Upon waking up to the soft trill of his alarm on the day of their meetup, Sakusa considered feigning illness and dealing with whatever consequences would come of it, but decided against it as he envisioned Atsumu’s pouting face and disappointed tone. Simply imagining Atsumu in such a state caused pangs of guilt in his heart.
The trio planned to meet at a local Osakan coffee shop chosen by Osamu. The twins would make the trip across prefectural borders to the rendezvous point together since Atsumu had spent the weekend at his parents’ home with Osamu, which meant Sakusa would trek to the location alone. He woke up earlier than usual to shower, brush his teeth twice, deliberate between shirts, and walk to the café. Sooner than he wanted, he arrived at his destination and hesitantly walked in. The girl working behind the counter greeted him warmly as she crafted a beverage behind the glass barrier.
The café Osamu chose to meet at was actually really nice. Indoor climbing plants planted in large ceramic pots stretched along the walls and looped themselves through trellises shaped like honeycomb. Their dirty golden color fit well with the wallpaper of the place which alternated wide stripes of a light creme and pastel yellow. Sakusa sat down at an open back corner table and patiently waited for Atsumu and Osamu’s arrival. He came twenty minutes early to allow himself to get comfortable with the location and calm his anxieties before their meetup. The low hum of the espresso machine and rustic scent of coffee helped ease his nerves. He rarely drank coffee since he experienced the effects of caffeine much more intensely than most, but he still joined Atsumu on his frequent coffee runs. Three shots espresso with 2% and two pumps of caramel syrup, hold the foam. Well, now he got it with almond milk since his discovery of Sakusa’s lactose intolerance. He had never asked Atsumu to stop consuming dairy products—hell, even he would risk it all for a good slice of pizza—but Atsumu still ceased all purchasing of dairy milk from the grocery store and in his drinks. Just in case. For Sakusa.
Small actions like that made Sakusa’s heart swell with affection. The smell of coffee helped to bring these good memories to the forefront of his mind and slowed his rapid fidgeting. He stared at his hands in awe of how Atsumu could produce the same results as his sertraline pills. Relationships were weird.
His thoughts got cut off by Atsumu and Osamu walking through the entrance. They greeted the barista before turning to join Sakusa at his table. The heavy wooden chair next to him screeched loudly as Atsumu pulled it out to take a seat, momentarily disrupting the calm aura of the café.
“Hey~” He smiled at Sakusa. The familiar smell of Atsumu’s detergent wafted from his jean jacket, and Sakusa gladly inhaled the clean scent as if it were a drug that would numb him to the stress he was feeling. His hand subconsciously reached towards the jacket’s rough material to brush off a couple of stray dog hairs from Atsumu’s shoulder.
“Hi.”
“Did ya wanna order something? ‘Samu’s paying, so pick something expensive.” Well, at least Atsumu seemed unperturbed by the disastrous potential of this hangout.
“Um, sure.” He glanced at the menu mounted on the wall and picked a drink from the tea column.
“Cool. You know what I want, ‘Samu.” He waved his hand to send his brother off to order.
“Like hell I do. Yer order’s too goddamn long, come with me.” Osamu dragged Atsumu to the register, and Sakusa was once again alone with his thoughts.
The peace Sakusa found in the minutes spent waiting for the twins morphed back into uncontrollable worry. His heart sped up again and the fidgeting came back. His parents always told him that others would only see him as nothing more than their first impression of him. Though, they had only ever brought it up in the context of interviewing for schools or speaking to recruiters; Sakusa never thought to apply it to his everyday relationships. Before Atsumu, any relationships he made in school and playing volleyball felt impermanent and inconsequential. He would always end up moving to a new school or a new team anyways, so he failed to see a compelling reason to put in extra effort to build strong connections.
Because Sakusa could’ve cared less how others perceived him back in high school, he knew Osamu’s interpretation of him was irrevocably tarnished. He hadn’t been afraid of making biting comments on the court or having a bad attitude when his team lost. Osamu bore witness to this behavior and no doubt thought poorly of him.
Why did Atsumu’s brother have to play the same sport as him? Otherwise he would have been able to prepare for their first meeting and present a version of himself uninfluenced by the stress of volleyball brackets. Sakusa ran through a string of cuss words in his mind while Osamu gently placed their drinks down. The porcelain dishes clapped crisply against the table.
He immediately recognized Atsumu’s usual order of coffee filled to the brim of a tall glass complete with a striped paper straw and sprig of mint as garnish. The Earl Grey Lavender tea with honey that Sakusa had requested swashed around in a round mug as Osamu’s hand slowly pushed it in front of him. Lavender was famous for its soothing qualities, and Sakusa had never felt so tempted in his life to chug a steaming hot drink. He opted to take a cautious sip so as not to make a bigger fool of himself in front of Osamu.
Barely one sip into his drink, misfortune bared her ugly teeth and stripped Sakusa of his only saving grace in this awful situation.
“Aw, shit.” Atsumu frantically grabbed his phone.
“What’s wrong?” Osamu asked.
“I needa use the bathroom. Be right back.” He slid out of his chair with an arm wrapped over his belly as if to communicate that his absence wouldn’t be for a quick piss. Osamu shot an irritated look towards Atsumu’s escaping figure.
Awkward silence. Sakusa wanted to do something, anything, to occupy the time Atsumu would be away instead of stiffly staring down at his drink to avoid eye contact with Osamu. His fingers tapped at his thigh in yearning to reach for his phone but fought the urge in case Osamu interpreted the action as rude. He spared a quick glance at Osamu without lifting his head and saw him staring at the street with bored eyes.
Sakusa needed to step his game up. He never would have gotten as far as he did with volleyball if he didn’t push himself past his comfort zones. Now, he had to do the same for the sake of his and Atsumu’s relationship.
“Thanks for paying.” A lump cracked the usually smooth tone of his voice, and he cleared his throat to unlodge it.
“No problem.”
“Did you dye your hair back to black?” Sakusa loathed small talk.
“Yeah, I figured I needed to look more professional.” Sakusa forced out a fake laugh.
Shit. I need to be more genuine.
“How does it feel to be in the big leagues now?” Osamu stirred a spoon through his coffee, ruining the intricate leaf art displayed on the latte’s foam.
“It’s fine. It doesn’t feel different, just more fans attend the games than in college.”
“Nice.” They both nodded, unsure of how to proceed.
Osamu sipped at his drink and licked the remnants of foam off of his lips. “How’s ‘Tsumu?”
“You probably know better than me.” Too blunt. You should’ve just stuck with a generic “good.”
“Maybe I do. But I meant like practice-wise. Of course, he’s only going to tell me the good things because he wants to show off.” Osamu continued to stir his coffee. Sakusa sensed some menacing undertones to the innocent action. He tried to shake that feeling away and internally cursed Atsumu for making him watch so many B-rate crime films with drink-stirring mob bosses.
“He’s doing well,” Sakusa brought the cup of tea up to his lips. It smelled good. “He’s really close to the team. Everyone takes care of each other. They’re really supportive if anyone’s struggling with something.”
“Only good things, huh? Was he struggling with anything in particular to make that come to mind?” Osamu raised an eyebrow, smug with the knowledge that he had unwillingly trapped Sakusa into spilling some dirt on his brother.
“He’s been having minor joint pain. Nothing serious, he just needs to tone it down a bit.” Sakusa chuckled to himself as he thought of the recent restrictions the team’s trainers had placed on him. “They voided his gym access code to stop him from sneaking in for extra practice or weight training.”
Osamu let out a deep snort that blew a few drops of latte onto the hardwood table. He wiped it up with a napkin. “Serves him right. I’m sure he’s sneakin’ around that too, though. He thinks he’s fallin’ behind when people are training and he isn’t.”
“I try to tell him that he can’t be the best if he inflicts permanent damage on himself. He’s already half-man, half-tape.”
“Ah, that’s why he’s only been wearing long pants and thermals. He knows I’ll bully him into stoppin’ if I see it.” Osamu picked up the napkin again and started shredding it with his fingers. “I also think he’s just addicted to tape. He says it looks badass. When he got his first paycheck of his life, you know what he bought? A bigass box of KT tape.”
“His spending is questionable at best.”
“Well, I can’t complain considerin’ he paid for my school and the down payment on my restaurant lease.”
“Wait, really?”
Osamu nodded. “Yeah, I told him not to, but the stubborn prick just reimbursed my parents after they paid. I felt bad when I found out since all I could treat him to in return was a cup of coffee and some home cooked meals.”
“But he likes those things a lot. He always beams when talking about you and your restaurant, and I think that’s the greatest thing you could’ve given him in return—your success and happiness.”
The latte returned to Osamu’s hands after the napkin had been torn to bits. Osamu swished the coffee around in his mug, watching the liquid carefully as it spun around to make sure it didn’t spill. A small upward quirk of his lips preceded his words. “Thanks, I needed to hear that.”
“It’s the truth.”
“It just frustrates me that he can’t look after himself like he does for others…. Please try and stop him if you think it’s too much. I would tell him, but then he’ll just argue I don’t understand ‘cause I’m not a professional athlete.”
“I will.” Sakusa paused for a moment to listen to the upbeat piano riff of the café’s music. The light melody paired well with the fragrant tea resting in his palms, and he basked in this strangely peaceful moment. Feeling warm and comfortable, Sakusa decided to dig at the root of his anxieties from this morning. “I apologize if I ever did or said anything uncouth to you when we used to play in high school.”
Osamu batted his hand around. “It’s fine, I was probably an ass on more than one occasion too. Let’s just call it a draw and move on.”
Sakusa nodded in response as relief freed a swarm of butterflies in his stomach, unconsciously triggering a small tug at the corners of his lips.
“But you’re not off the hook,” Osamu spoke up again. “Like I said, I need to look after Atsumu ‘cause he doesn’t always make the best decisions for himself. If red flags show up later, I won’t hesitate to speak up.”
“I understand.” Osamu’s words weighed heavy on him. It wasn’t just an empty threat, Atsumu held his brother in high regard and would genuinely listen to his concerns, should he have any. A brief feeling of yearning washed over his mind. He wished his siblings stood up for him the same way the twins did for each other.
“Initially, I questioned why. I’m sure people you told did the same thing if they knew Atsumu beforehand.” Sakusa couldn’t bring himself to say he hadn’t told anyone, that his family kept the topic of relationships at a distance his whole life, that he was navigating this new development in his life alone. “He texted me to brag about it—the fact you two were datin’—and I thought it was another one of his jokes. But when I met up with him in-person after he broke the news to me, he seemed different. In a good way. Then I knew it wasn’t just him messin’ around.”
Not knowing how to respond to Osamu’s sudden recollection, Sakusa remained silent and rubbed at the handle of his mug.
“He’s capable of making his own decisions, albeit stupid ones most of the time. But he trusted me when I quit volleyball, so the least I could do is trust him in return now with his relationship choices.”
Sakusa struggled to interpret that statement. Osamu’s body language never gave his feelings away and his eyes spoke neither of approval or rejection when he looked at Sakusa. The nagging voice in the back of his mind that never had anything nice to say latched onto his words and insisted that they meant Osamu’s lack of approval. However, he refused to accept the words of his own negativity as truth. He needed to hear it from Osamu directly.
“So, you don’t like me dating him….”
“Nah, it’s not that.” Sakusa let out a shallow breath he had been holding in anticipation of the worst. “I guess a relationship between the Sakusa I knew from high school and my brother never would have worked out. But it’s been five years since then. I dunno, people can change, and I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt.”
“Thank you.” Sakusa whispered, unsure of what else to say.
“From what he tells me, which is a lot, by the way, there aren’t going to be any problems between you and me. Though, I’d appreciate getting to know you personally if you’d stop avoidin’ me.”
“Sorry.”
Osamu had the gall to laugh. “It’s fine. I enjoy knowing that you fear me.”
Asshole. “What does Atsumu tell you about us?”
“Gross things like yer dates and shit. And that you’re planning to move in together.” Sakusa nodded in confirmation. “You know, he invites me over to his apartment every week. If ya live together, you really won’t be able to avoid me.”
Sakusa expected as much, especially considering Atsumu admitted to stealing his brother’s things as a way of luring Osamu into his apartment and forcing him to spend time together.
“I think I’d be okay with that.”
With the hurdle of speaking to Osamu far behind him, Sakusa now felt himself drawn to Osamu and wanted to establish a connection with him. Family was like a steaming cup of coffee. Warm and comforting, helpful in uplifting your spirits to reach your goals, something you crave when life weighs you down. Sakusa didn’t react well to coffee, but maybe he just wasn’t used to it. He needed to introduce himself to it slowly and not overwhelm his senses with something unfamiliar. He’d get to know Osamu better over time, and maybe, just maybe, he’d grow to love those intimate flavors of familial love and support Atsumu was so accustomed to.
Soon after the conclusion of their conversation, Atsumu returned to their table, free of any potential bowel issues this time.
“Wo-ow. I probably shouldn’t have gotten coffee today.” He plopped into his seat and tried to sip his now watered down drink. The damp paper straw immediately collapsed, and he glared at the object’s sudden betrayal. “What’cha guys talkin’ about?”
“How much of an idiot you are.” Osamu lied.
“Hey! Am not!”
“You superglued your fingers together a few nights ago.” Sakusa shared without hesitation. Atsumu’s cheeks continued to redden as Osamu attempted to repress a cackle.
“I needed to save my mug.” He pouted.
“Buy a new one.” Osamu deadpanned.
“It was your mug.” Atsumu admitted while lifting up his limp straw to his mouth to refrain from meeting Osamu’s furious eyes.
“What! Wait, is it the big green one I use to drink soup in bed?” Atsumu nodded remorsefully. “I was looking for that, you piece of shit! I’m taking it back later and seeing what else you stole from me!”
The twins continued to bicker as Sakusa’s mind drifted back to the memory of that night. He had received a desperate call at one in the morning from Atsumu and could barely understand his request for nail polish remover through his accent, thickened from panic, and his own grogginess from sleep. At the beginning of their relationship, Sakusa imagined Atsumu’s overly impulsive behavior to be an obstacle he’d have to overcome. But as he braved the December winds to walk to the corner convenience store in search of the elixir to Atsumu’s superglue ailments, he had felt calm and content in spite of the inconvenience it caused his sleep schedule. The tingly feeling he got in his fingertips when Atsumu swung open the front door, relief washing over his tired eyes, was something he wanted to experience over and over again.
And now, with Osamu’s indirect blessings, he knew he would (for now, at least.) Osamu’s words now bound him to helping with everything from soaking Atsumu’s fingers in acetone on a random winter night to monitoring his workouts so he doesn’t overexert himself, but even without the pressures of Osamu’s watchful eyes, Sakusa would’ve gladly done all of the above and everything in between.
He watched the twins erupt in laughter as their little quarrel came to a conclusion. Atsumu’s cheeks, filled with joy, grew adorably large and pushed his eyes blissfully shut as his shoulders continued to shake with giggles, most likely gleeful at the fact he’d once again deceived Osamu into spending more time with him. Osamu glared at his brother, but was leaning over the table to try and quell his own laughter. His eyes shifted over to Sakusa to give him a lopsided smile and approving nod. Soon enough, Sakusa got sucked into joining their chorus of chuckles, which harmonized with the scratchy sounds of a saxophone over the speakers and the beat of dishes clanking in a sink. The stiff awkwardness Sakusa had felt at the beginning of their meeting evaporated into the feeling of overwhelming gratitude for the opportunity to take part in a small but tender moment of the brothers’ special relationship. Receiving such a privilege felt like his unofficial inauguration into the brothers’ world, and Osamu’s mischievous eyes meeting Sakusa’s own confirmed his intuition to be correct.
Welcome to the family. No turning back now.