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The one thing worse than being broken up with, Jazz thought, was knowing that it was coming. Their social circles, once a near perfect circle, had diverged to the point of being almost completely tangential. And really, social circles wasn’t the right word now. They’d chosen sides, and- and it hurt, that Soundwave hadn’t chosen her.
Still, Optimus was a softie, it wasn’t too late. It wasn’t an ultimatum, it was a last chance. The only way forward, together, was if they agreed to take the same side in the war everyone knew was coming. And Jazz couldn’t side with Megatron, not after what happened to Bumblebee, which meant that if Soundwave wouldn’t see sense they would- they would be over. Hundreds of years of friendship, vorns of slow and steady romance, all at risk of ending because of Megatron.
“You came after all.” Soundwave said, not looking at Jazz from where he sat on the edge of the roof, a bottle of sparkling high-grade and two empty cubes next to him. As if this was any other anniversary, as if Jazz was here to hold his hand and tease him with glancing static kisses and talk about the life they could have in the future they would build with their friends.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” she said, crossing the rooftop to sit next to Soundwave, close enough that they could hold hands, if they both wanted to. The highgrade sparkled between them, unopened.
“You’re here to end things, aren’t you?” Soundwave’s arms were folded in his lap, back hunched to brace his elbows on his knees.
“I don’t want to.” Jazz placed her hand next to the highgrade, palm down and fingers spread, an invitation. “I don’t want us to be over, Soundwave, but I can’t-”
“You won’t.” Soundwave said, bitter and angry and hurting, and Jazz wished that the world was still simple enough she could pull her lover close and just hug him until everything was okay again. “Nobody is stopping you from leaving Optimus. Megatron would be happy to have you.”
“I can’t follow him, Soundwave. I don’t know how you can. What he and Starscream did to the senate- no, don’t tell me they had it coming. They had the right to a trial like everyone else, and those two murdered them. And then Bee...”
“Bumblebee still lives, does he not?” Soundwave asked, his field sharp and defensive.
“Megatron ripped out his vocaliser, Soundwave. Ratchet isn’t sure if he’ll ever speak again!”
“He shouldn’t have-”
“He was our friend!” Jazz found herself on her pedes, staring down at Soundwave. She’d always had a knack for reading Soundwave’s microexpressions, even before they got involved, but tonight he was completely blank. Jazz turned on her heel and began to pace. “Primus, Soundwave, Bumblebee never did anything to either of you, and Megatron ripped out his vocaliser because- because-” she waved her hands helplessly. “We don’t even know why! Bee can’t tell us until he’s learnt sign!”
“Soundwave, please.” Jazz returned to the edge of the roof and knelt where she’d been sitting, staring at Soundwave this time instead of the city skyline which had so long ago played backdrop to their first date, their first kiss. “Please, you’re better than this. Smarter than this. The Decepticons- I don’t know when it happened, but something’s gone wrong with them, with Megatron. They’re no better than the Senate was.”
“How can you say that?” Soundwave snapped, finally moving, rising to his pedes, hands clenched in fists at his sides. “The Senate was corrupt, bloated, a relic of the so-called Golden Age which had long outlived its usefulness. They answered only to the interests of the elite, the nobles and their corporate shell games. The Decepticons are nothing like that. We serve our own interests, we answer to no nobility, no sanctimonious Prime.”
“That-” Jazz stared, rising numbly from her knees. “That’s worse, Soundwave. That’s so much worse. The Prime answered to the Senate, you’re saying Megatron answers to no-one. What about when he’s wrong?”
“Megatron has not been wrong yet.” Soundwave squared his shoulders, his visor the coldest red Jazz had ever seen. He stood like he expected Jazz to strike him, to try and abduct him, and something in Jazz’s spark broke.
“So that’s it.” she said softly, her shoulders falling. “You’re picking him over me.”
“So it would appear.” Soundwave looked away, and Jazz took one last long look at him, the mech she’d loved and lost, framed by the skyline which had changed so little in the vorns in between. She turned away, and took only two steps before Soundwave’s hand was closing tight around her wrist, dragging her around and into familiar arms, Soundwave’s mask crushing against her lips in a surge of static sparks.
Their first kiss, so long ago on this same rooftop, had been chaste. Shy. They’d been young and not quite in love yet, two mechs finding themselves with each other. This kiss was nothing like that. Soundwave kissed her hard, desperate, every unspoken plea poured out in his field, in the charge which danced across Jazz’s lips as one of Soundwave’s hands clutched the back of her helm, the other pressed tight against her back. Jazz returned it in equal measure, wondered if Soundwave would be able to taste the grief on her glossa if he had a mouth for her to slip it into, if he could feel the longing in how Jazz’s arms wrapped around his waist and the back of his shoulders.
“I’m sorry.” her voice hitched around a sob. “I love you. I love you so much, Soundwave, I just can’t-”
“I know.” Soundwave’s forehelm pressed against Jazz’s, his optics dim and field so achingly sad. “I’m sorry too.” his hand against Jazz’s back twisted, and Jazz gasped as a cold, thin blade slipped cleanly between her armour plates, piercing through her cabling, slipping just along the side of her backstrut and puncturing her spark casing. “I’m sorry.” Soundwave’s voice crackled with static as he clutched Jazz closer, driving the blade deeper into her spark. “I’m so sorry, Jazz.”
“Wh- wh- wh-” her vocaliser stuttered, looping and looping as it lost power.
“It was one of us or both of us.” Soundwave sank to his knees, bringing Jazz down with him, cradling Jazz against his chassis as her systems shut down one by one. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” a kiss to her temple, as the world faded out. “I didn’t want it to hurt.”