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Keigo…Hawks considered himself to be a good student. He got up when he was told to and did his best to master the use of his feathers. He ate all of the vegetables on his plate and he did his best to memorize the basic hero laws. He didn’t complain about the plain looking bedroom or the lack of a nightlight. He didn’t even complain when he was told he would never see his parents again. Or that he’d have to give up his name.
It was all well worth it. He wanted to be a good hero and being a good hero meant making sacrifices to improve. Even this early on he could tell he was getting better. He was more sure with handling his feathers, better at sensing through them, faster when he needed to respond to a staged emergency. It had been only a few short months since the commission took him in, and already he could feel himself inching closer to who he wanted to be.
The instructors were strict. They rarely smiled and they seemed to view his progress in terms of what he had yet to achieve instead of what he already managed. But even they would sometimes pat him on the head and tell him he was doing good. He lived for those moments, storing them in his heart to have something to look at when the going got tough.
He was going to be a hero.
Like All Might, they said.
Like Endeavor, he thought.
A hero who never gives up, no matter how hard things get.
That was why he had to persist. Even when things got hard and his muscles got sore. Even when he got yelled at and scolded. Even when he felt alone. One day he would be a great hero. A hero who inspired hope in others. That dream was worth chasing with all he had, no matter what was set before him.
It was worth giving up his name. Takami Keigo was a mistake, a burden, nothing but a tie to a dirty past. Hawks felt different. Hawks felt like a big shiny sign he had yet to grow into but was promised he would as long as he kept working hard.
Pro Hero Hawks.
Hawks the hero with wings?
Winged hero Hawks!
It was nice to think about; it was what kept him going during the toughest of times. Winged hero Hawks, never giving up, always saving everyone.
That being said, Winged hero Hawks wasn’t being the most heroic at that particular moment. Definitely not as he clumsily climbed out of his window and fluttered off into the night sky.
He was not running away; he wasn’t even really sneaking out. Okay he was totally sneaking out but the day was rough and he wanted to take a night flight to clear his head. Technically it was hours past his bedtime but nobody would think to check in on him until morning so he was probably fine.
He would just take a quick loop around the town and be back in his room before anyone noticed or cared.
It felt good to fly during the night. The city was so much quieter, especially up in the sky. The night breeze gently passed through his feathers and if he looked hard enough he could almost see the stars. Like this, in the peace of the evening, all his daily troubles melted away. All the loneliness and all the fear of failing his trainers and tutors. All the worry about not living up to the title of pro hero Hawks.
Nothing but him and the sky. The breeze and the slow, almost lulling rhythm of sparse traffic bellow him. It was enough to ease the stress and the worries. He could practically feel his batteries charging up.
Until his sharp eyes caught sight of a figure huddled up in one of the alleys below. He stopped immediately, zeroing in on this person. He dove down a bit, trying to see them better.
It seemed to be a boy. A little bit older than him, crouched down on the cold pavement. Hawks' sharp eyes detected messy red hair and dirty school uniform but what made him dive down and land in front of the boy were the burns. The boy’s arms and face seemed to be covered in burns.
The other boy startled when he saw him and Hawks put his hands up, trying to reassure him; “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He said, mind quickly skipping to his hero training on how to comfort a victim; “I won’t hurt you, I’m here to help.” He said, walking slowly to the other boy, keeping his hands visible and steady to signal he was not a threat.
“I’ll call a hospital and everything-“
“No.”
Hawks blinked in surprise. That wasn’t in his script.
“I should uh, at least call the police…”
“Don’t bother.”
“Someone hurt you…”
The boy’s face seemed to shift to that of annoyance and he sighed loudly, looking at Hawks like he was a dumb little kid. It did a lot to make Hawks feel like a dumb little kid. “Nobody hurt me, okay. My quirk got out of control, it looks bad but it’s fine. Thank you for your concern, now fly away birdbrain.” The boy snapped and the seriousness in his tone made Hawks wings flinch into position to obey.
But no, no, he wasn’t a kid, he was a hero. And a hero would never just leave someone in need like that, even if they were mean and snappy.
“I’m not leaving.” He declared and the boy’s scowl deepened; “But if you don’t want to call the hospital or the police right now, that’s fine. I’ll keep you company until you feel safe enough to do so.” he said, plopping down next to the other boy.
The ground was slightly damp and very cold and the boy obviously didn’t want him by his side from the way he shifted away from Hawks. His hero training didn’t prepare him for situations where someone would so straightforwardly refuse his help, but that didn’t mean he could just pretend that who was sitting next to him didn’t need saving.
“You are so annoying.” The boy mumbled and Hawks shrugged, unsure how to respond to that with anything but the straightforward truth.
“You looked sad. I couldn’t just leave you here alone”
“I don’t care, I told you to go away.”
Hawks hummed, looking down on his feet. This was a lot harder than simulations, but he wouldn’t give up.
“I mean, whenever I’m alone I get super lonely, don’t you?”
“I prefer being alone.”
“Huh why?”
The other boy rolled his eyes, massaging his forehead. “It’s quiet, nobody bothers me,” He pointedly looked at Hawks, “You just don’t get it; you look like the type to stick your nose into everything.”
It was Hawks turn to frown now as his wings puffed up defensively. “No I don’t! It’s called being helpful.” He mumbled, flapping his wings as he frowned down at his hands. He looked back up at the other boy, inching closer to him and saying carefully. “You know, how heroes help people. It’s the right thing to do.”
The other boys’ expression stiffened even more. He pulled his knees to his chest, resting his head on them. “Heroes huh? I’m guessing you want to be one too?”
“Yeah,” Hawks nodded earnestly, “I’m training to be one right now.”
“Wait what,” The boys’ head shot up and Hawks startled, quickly fluttering his wings. The boy started at him like he grew a second head, “Right now? Aren’t you like fucking four or something?”
Hawks settled down again, puffing up his cheeks and ruffling his feathers. “I’m six and a half!” he was just a little short for his age and it wasn’t a topic he liked to discuss.
But it seemed that wasn’t what the boy was aiming at; “You are six-“
“And a half.”
“And you are training to be a hero? Right now?”
“Yeah.” Hawks flapped his wings, his chest filling with that new warmth he was told was named pride. “I’m training so one day I can be a hero who never gives up and always saves everyone. It’s tough but it’s great.”
“Who’s training you?”
Suddenly, Hawks wasn’t sure what to do. The boy seemed worried, distressed even. Hawks thought he’d get excited if he heard that he was sitting next to a future hero but apparently not. Either way, he wasn’t completely sure how to reply either. It’s not like the trainers told him to keep this a secret but they…implied it.
Hawks felt bad for slipping up.
He bit his lip, clutching his fists in his shorts and did his best to speak clearly when he said; “I don’t really think I can say that.”
“Is it your parents?”
That caught Hawks by surprise. His parents were thieves and junkies. He had let them go as easily as he had let go off his name. A part of him, a small childish part of him, still clung to the idea of a mother and a father. But the rational part of him, the grown up part of him, the part of him that would become pro hero Hawks…that part knew they never loved him and that they probably didn’t even miss him. It was impossible for him to connect his parents to heroes. To even think they could ever teach him anything but how to bring harm to others.
He couldn’t understand how this other boy connected the two and his eyes traced the red burns across his arms as he thought.
Finally, he answered, “No.” then he added, “Are yours?”
The boy hesitated, looking down at his own arms before shaking his head. “No, he’s not.”
“He?”
And there was so much emotion in the boy’s face as he swallowed down, clenching his fists. His brow furrowed as he shook in rage, fingernails digging into palms. He all but spat out when he said; “My father. He’s a big time fucking hero. He’s training my little brother to be one too. Not me though, I’m a failure. Not worth anything to him.”
His body shook again and Hawks flinched when he punched the ground, quickly grabbing his hand and bringing it against his chest to stop the boy from further hurting himself. The boy flinched, glaring at him and tugging his hand back but Hawks stubbornly kept his hold.
“I’m sorry…that sounds-“
“I don’t need your apologies.” The boy grumbled, struggling against Hawks’ hold. “And I don’t need your pity. The old mans a bastard, fine, no need to get all soft on me about it. Jesus, you hero types.”
“My dad was a bad man too.” Hawks blurted out, clenching stronger on to the others’ hand.
That made the other still from a moment, his blue eyes rising up to sear through Hawks’ soul. “Was?”
“He’s…he’s in jail now.” Hawks looked down, unable to meet that gaze, his voice quiet as he mumbled; “He was a villain but-“ he clenched his fingers around the others hand, his chest heating up with warmth again.”- a hero named Endeavor caught him.” His wings flapped again as he looked up. “Endeavor is so cool. He always beats the bad guys. When I become a hero, I want to be just like him.”
Something crashed down in the other boys’ face and Hawks realized that somewhere along the line he made a mistake. The boy’s face was dark with fury and when he tugged his arm away again, Hawks let it go. Even if he felt like he would get punched.
He didn’t though. The boy gritted his teeth and then shook his head. He got up, pushed himself off the wall.
“Forget it, you aren’t worth my time.”
Hawks was on his feet before he could think properly, scampering after the other boy. He wasn’t sure where exactly he crossed the line but somehow he would have to fix it.
“Wait don’t be mad! I’m sorry, let me make it up to you.”
“I told you to forget it. Just go home, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
“Please!”
“Go away before I hurt you.”
“You wouldn’t do that.”
Suddenly the other boy stopped and turned around. His palm was ablaze with bright blue flame that made Hawks’ wings press tightly against his back, made him shrink back with wide, startled eyes. “Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?”
Hawks hated fire. It was his biggest weakness, one that the commission did their best to build a resistance too. Unfortunately, all the resistance he could gain was not to lose his mind and throw up while his sensory organs were burned to ashes. And he still had to work on that.
The boy’s eyes blazed like a hungry fire, ready to devour Hawks as a whole. For one terrifying moment, Hawks was sure that the boy could burn him down if he wanted to.
And then the boy doubled over, extinguishing his palm against his shirt and cursing loudly in a way that made Hawks remember his father. When he caught a glimpse of the boys’ palm, it was red and blistery.
Danger didn’t matter anymore.
“Let me help, that looks bad.” He said, rushing to the boys’ side again and missing the utterly confused look thrown his way.
He grabbed the boys’ arm, pushing up his sleeve. He eased up his hold as soon as he remembered the marring of burn scars over the other boys’ skin. Worriedly, he looked at the reddening area of the boys’ palm. The commission may have taught him basic first aid but he didn’t have anything on him to actually help the boy. His wings curled tightly against his shoulders as his mind reeled through practice scenarios and taught lessons, somehow managing to miss all that and land on something entirely different. He leaned down, pressing a quick kiss against the burn.
The boy hissed and pulled back, which yeah, bad idea Hawks, obviously. “What the fuck?”
“I just thought….kiss and make it better?” He let out, wings fluttering as he grabbed on to his own shirt, fingers curling in an iron grip; “I don’t have anything on me and you don’t want to go to the hospital so I, I just…I wanted to help, I don’t want you to be sad and hurt.”
He sniffled, looking down and concentrating on nothing but the feeling of his shirt in his grip. The other boy stared at him, eyes scrutinizing and judging before he sighed and blew on his burn a bit, softly cursing under his breath. Hawks wasn’t really sure what to do at all. This wasn’t what helping people was supposed to feel like. He wasn’t supposed to be this bad at it. It seemed so easy when he did it with people in the car crash. He just had to send his feathers out and all was good. But when he had to comfort and console someone, suddenly he was useless. His fingers trembled, but his grip wouldn’t ease.
Maybe he wasn’t made for this after all.
Then a hand ruffled his hair and Hawks’ brain jolted a bit from mixed sensations of his stress grip and his hair being preened.
“Jesus, can’t even yell at you. Look at you, you’re such a crybaby.” The boy said and Hawks quickly wiped at his eyes.
“Am not!”
The boy scoffed, burying his hands into the pockets of his uniform. Hawks flinched, thinking of how much the fresh burn must hurt like that, but the boy didn’t seem to notice at all.
“You are a real hero then huh. Not like the pretenders.”
“You…do you think so?” He sniffed softly, his wings doing an insecure little flap.
But then the boy smiled. It was slight and awkward, like he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing or why. He looped his arm around Hawks’ shoulders and pulled him back towards the wall they were previously sitting at.
“With how mushy you got, you bet. I’d work on actually being able to help though. Not just stand there being useless. If you don’t walk the walk what’s the fucking point.”
Hawks’ fingers tightened in his shirt even more. The boy held nothing back, but Hawks knew criticism to be a good thing he should take to his heart. He looked up at the other boy with resolve; “I’ll start carrying first aid with me everywhere.”
“Phhh, sure, sounds good.” The boy said, his small smile spreading into a fond grin as he ruffled Hawks’ hair.
He didn’t seem angry anymore, at least not as much as he did before. Hawks’ grip on his shirt relaxed a bit.
“Are you sure you are okay? That burn looked pretty bad.”
The boy shrugged; “My quirk is fire and my skin is ice, I’m kinda used to it. My own fault, really, I know I shouldn’t use it this much,” He sighed, drawing his knees to his chest, “It’s just that…when I get angry I can’t even help it. It just exploded out of me. God I hate it, I’m just like him.”
Hawks waited for a bit before carefully prompting; “Your dad?”
“Yeah, that bastard.” The boy laughed dryly, knocking his head back. “He’s a huge fucking piece of work. But fuck him, fuck it all. I’m never going to see him again,” He squinted up into the sky, “Not until I’m strong enough to beat him.”
Hawks watched him, absorbing his image against the night sky. Red hair as warm as fire and swirling blue eyes that looked like they would burn. The anger and determination in the pinched lines of his face. Hawks felt a knot form in his throat. This felt familiar, this felt like sharing the same road.
“You said your dad’s a hero…”
The boy’s words came through his teeth, like a growl from a wild animal. “He doesn’t deserve to call himself that.”
The words laid heavy in the air between them and Hawks wondered what kind of hero strayed so much off the road to make his son hate him so much. His wings shuddered, gathering around his shoulders, pressing tight and warm. His parents were basically villains when it came down to it. Hawks knew not to expect any more from people who did what they did. But to think someone like that could exist and call himself a hero anyway. He tried to shake it out of his head.
That was something to think about later.
“One day, when I’m a hero, I’ll kick your dads’ butt for you.” He promised, his wings ruffling up to make him look bigger.
It seemed to work, at least a bit, because the scowl fell from the boys’ face and he looked at Hawks in amusement.
“Oh? Is that a promise? You are really going to get that strong, little chicken like you?”
“I will! I promise!” He all but shouted, beating his wings against the air, “I’ll train super hard and beat him. We can beat him together!” he almost chirped when the idea came to his mind. “You could come with me. Where I train, they take care of me, I bet they could take care of you too. And help you with your quirk, my trainers have all sorts of helpful advice for my quirk.”
His wings flapped at the thought of having a friend around, but the boy was as hard to read as ever. He didn’t answer Hawks' idea, didn’t even seem to acknowledge it.
Instead he just asked.
“What’s your name?”
“Oh, it’s Hawks.”
The boy raised his eyebrow at him, muttering; “You couldn’t come up with something better…I meant your actual name, dumbass.”
“Oh…” Hawks hesitated, gripping tightly at his shirt once again. The commission did tell him to throw away his old name, to be Hawks. But he wasn’t exactly sure how to explain that to the other boy without making it sound weird. He understood why, but he didn’t really want to explain to the other boy his whole family history.
“It’s…Takami Keigo.” He said and even just those two words felt dirty, remains of what he no longer wanted to be. “And yours?” he quickly asked to change the topic.
The boy didn’t answer for so long that Hawks thought he never would. He wondered if he stepped over some invisible line again. He wondered just why was he messing up so much in this conversation. Why was it so hard to talk to and understand this boy?
“Touya.” The boy said and Hawks snapped out of his thoughts.
He looked at him, waiting for the last name, but it never came.
Hawks understood that. He hated to say “Takami” more than he hated to say “Keigo” after all. A tie to the Thief, a mark that was embedded into his skin before he was even able to understand what it meant for him. It felt a little unfair, to be the only one who had to say it. But he wouldn’t force the boy to speak of his own marks.
“It’s nice to meet you.” He said instead, struggling slightly to manage a small smile. The commission always told him heroes smiled bright and comfortingly. Hawks’ rigid face was yet another obstacle his body represented and he had to overcome.
It was a relief that Touya seemed to have similar trouble so instead they just knocked their shoulders against each other. Hawks felt warm down to his core. He never had a friend before.
Touya was silent for a bit after that, simply looking up at the murky sky above them. Not much could be seen through the dirt alley wall and the dark sky, but Touya looked concentrated, like he was seeing something no one else could.
“Do you really want to become a hero, Keigo?”
Hawks shifted uncomfortably as Touya spoke his name but nodded nonetheless. “Yeah, it’s my dream.”
“And your dream will never change?”
He shook his head. He had his heart set on this. He knew what he was, a useless, throwaway child. The commission offered him to be something more. To mean something more. They offered him a chance he could never even dream of, a chance to rise up from the slums and fight against what he himself suffered. He would not let go of this dream, no matter what.
Touya just looked at him, and his face was impossible to read. Hawks wondered if heroes were ruined for Touya forever, if he could even trust Hawks intentions to be true.
“I’ll show you heroes are good.”
The only response he got was the tiniest quirk of Touya’s lips; “You don’t get it.”
“But I do.” He persisted. “I know…I know what it’s like…to have…parents.”
He couldn’t quite say it. Not even now that he was away from them for two months. He simply didn’t have the words to describe the way his parents made him feel. The way he felt like if he breathed too loud that day could be his last. The days he hid from his father’s line of sight and couldn’t even speak to his mother. The memories knotted in his stomach, spoiled and rotting. He still didn’t have a name for what was done to him.
All he knew was that it was wrong, because the way that trainers spoke about his home was very different from the way they spoke about anything that pleased them.
Hurt, he would think, they hurt me. And he would feel sick of it.
But Touya was hurt too.
“So…” he clenched his fists, trying to get across what he really wanted to say. “I just…I am going to be a hero. So I’ll…I’ll…show my parents…I was good for something and you…you can be a hero too, we’ll be heroes together. You’ll show your dad what a real hero looks like and then it will be okay.” He looked up at Touya, trying to look convincing.
He was still clumsy with his words, something his trainers told him he had to work on. He had been quiet for so long, trying to be unnoticed. The words still came hard and explaining how he felt even harder. But he was a hero. Here to offer hope and inspiration to those in need.
“…Yeah okay, that sounds good.” Touya said and leaned against his shoulder.
Hawks couldn’t tell if it was a lie or not. He wanted to believe it true, wanted to believe that he did help. But Touya spoke with a sort of twist to his words that made every statement sound like a joke.
“You’ll show your parents up and I’ll kick my dad’s ass one day, it will all work out. Sounds great.” He continued, inching a little closer to Hawks.
There was something that could almost be called fondness in his eyes.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’d make a decent hero, Keigo.”
His feathers fluffed up, his wings spreading a bit in a happy flap. “You really think so?”
“Well, you made me feel a bit better.”
It was a lot easier to smile this time. He wasn’t there just yet; he couldn’t save people like he wanted. But he did make someone feel better. That was a good first step.
“Are you gonna go back…to wherever you came from?” Touya asked, looking at him with those deep blue eyes.
“Are you?”
“Nah, I think I’m running away from home.”
Hawks shifted uncomfortably. “I told you, you could come with me. I meant it. I know...your dad is a bad hero but people that train me are good,” his wings drew in unsurely, “They could help you a lot.”
Touya observed him for a long moment before waving his hand dismissively. “Not interested. Don’t worry, I already know where I’ll go tomorrow. It’s just late now so I don’t wanna bother. I’ll sleep here and get to it tomorrow.”
One look around the alley confirmed to Hawks that this was a dumb idea. It was still cold and damp, and honestly a little creepy. But Touya was already settling down against the wall and he did look pretty tired.
“I’ll stay with you then.”
“Huh?”
Hawks moved next to him, slipping his wing around Touya’s shoulder and flopping the other one over himself. It wasn’t the greatest blanket, but it would do for the night.
“I’m not going to leave you alone. I’ll stay here and tomorrow I’ll escort you to where you wanna go so you can get there safe.”
Touya just stared at him for a moment before grumbling, “And you won’t be missed?”
“I’m sure they’ll understand this was important.” After all, wasn’t this almost like practice for when he was really a hero? He could stay out past his curfew under that excuse.
There was still some disbelief in Touya’s eyes, like he couldn’t quite decide what to make out of Hawks. Finally, though, he sighed and settled down.
“Fine then, tomorrow we’ll go together.”
This time around, Hawks couldn’t help the happy chirp that escaped his throat as he snuggled up to Touya, laying his head on his shoulder. He was pretty sure that Touya rolled his eyes at him, but he didn’t move away so that was alright with Hawks.
All the exhaustion of the day started settling in and even though both the streets and Touya’s skin were cold, he fell asleep in no time.
When he awoke, he was alone.
He sat up blearily, having sunk down to the ground during the night. Touya’s school jacket was draped over him like a blanket and Hawks rubbed his eyes, looking around the alley.
Empty.
“Touya?”
No answer.
He was confused. Where did Touya go and why didn’t he wake Hawks up? He got up on his feet, clutching Touya’s jacket in his hands.
“Touya??”
Still no answer.
He felt dread starting to creep up his veins and shook his head. Touya had to be close, he wouldn’t just leave. He pushed himself off the ground, quickly taking flight and keeping a keen eye out for his missing friend.
Nothing, he was nowhere to be seen.
Gripping Touya’s jacket tightly in his fists, Hawks sent out his feathers to try and get a feel for Touya’s voice. It was useless, it was already late enough in the morning that any specific vibration was lost to the cacophony of people going about their lives. He felt frustration well up like tears in his eyes. If he was better at this, maybe he would have been able to single Touya out despite the noise.
After hours of searching he had to give up. Had to fly back to the Commission.
He didn’t understand. Why? Why had Touya left? With no explanation or goodbye, leaving Hawks alone and filled with doubt and dread. He thought things were going fine, that Touya and he were becoming friends. That he managed to help the other boy.
But he was wrong.
Touya, at very least, didn’t consider him enough of a friend to part with him properly. All Hawks could hope was that Touya would find a good place for himself, even if alone.
The trainers were furious when they found him and Hawks took his scolding as bravely as he could. He didn’t have the heart to explain himself, not when he had failed anyway, so he just silently took the earlier curfew and the extra training hours.
He tucked Touya’s jacket in the back of his closet, along with his Endeavor plush.
It was too hard to let it go.
He hoped Touya was alright, that he would be alright even without Hawks’ help.
He hoped they would see each other again, one day, when they were both heroes.