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Castiel was in the middle of telling his squad that they had to perform to their best today and ignore the rival cheerleading team that were being petty and trying to goad them, when Dean came into his eye line, standing there on the edge of the crowd waiting for Cas to finish. As always, especially before a big game, Dean had a cocky smile on his face, hands in his jacket pockets as he winked over at Castiel.
Fighting the urge to roll his eyes back at him, Castiel finished off his speech, hoping that it would give out some motivation. By the bored looks on the other cheerleaders’ faces, Castiel kind of doubted it. Though he was the head cheerleader, many people always felt the need to unhelpfully tell Castiel that he didn’t, in fact, have much ‘cheer’ in him. Castiel could only assume that he’d gotten the role for his leadership skills more than anything else, though he often second guessed himself there too.
“Hey,” Dean greeted him with a grin when Castiel took the few steps towards him.
“Hello Dean,” Castiel smiled, fiddling with his cheerleading jacket, a nervous habit he always seemed to pick up when he was near Dean, much to Cas’ annoyance, “So,” he ran a hand through his messy hair, “It’s the big game.”
“No man, it’s the game before the big game,” Dean told him, though he was smiling when he said it. For some reason, Dean really liked to try and teach everything that there was to know about football to Cas, because even though Castiel cheered the team on every game, he didn’t technically know all the ins and outs of it. He didn’t particularly care that he didn’t know it all, though Dean always insisted on telling him anyway.
“Yes, but you need to win this one to go through to the next one so this one is also a ‘big game’,” he retorted, raising an eyebrow.
Dean snorted, taking a step towards Cas so there wasn’t much room between the two of them, “I guess so,” his face stretched into a grin, a certain grin that made Castiel know there was going to be some kind of flirtation from Dean’s lips any second, “So this is a big game, which means you need to wish me good luck.”
Castiel tipped his head up and he couldn’t help but smile at Dean; his good mood was always infectious, “Good luck Dean.”
“Come on man,” Dean whined, “That’s not a proper good luck, is it?” he bit the bottom of his lip, obviously trying to stop himself from grinning, “How about a good luck with a kiss on the cheek?”
The sentence made Castiel laugh which a shake of his head, honestly surprised at Dean’s brashness. He shouldn’t have been surprised though, Dean was always quite confident in all of his endeavours.
Monica popped out of nowhere, “I can do it,” she offered, her eyes only on Dean. Castiel didn’t blame her for trying to butt in, Dean was (in Cas’ eyes and pretty much everyone else’s too) the most attractive, charming guy in school; it wasn’t exactly shocking that a girl was trying to get his attention.
Dean looked at her and smiled, no malice there but he obviously wasn’t interested, “No thanks,” he shrugged, dropping an arm around Cas’ shoulders and squeezing, though he didn’t seem to be doing it consciously, “I heard that Kurt might be interested in getting a good luck from you though.”
That seemed to disgust Monica if her face was anything to go by, crossing her arms, “Ew, I don’t think so,” she rolled her eyes, her tight ponytail swishing behind her, “He calls girls sluts when they have more experience than him, I saw him speaking to a girl like shit in the corridors the other week. I’d rather kiss the fucking floor.”
“Fair enough,” Dean pulled a face that showed he was in agreement, “I’ll tell him he’s a douchebag for you.”
“Yeah, okay,” Monica nodded, seeming pleased with the idea as she sauntered off to talk to someone else.
Dean’s gaze turned back to Castiel and within a flash, his grin was back, all teeth and eye crinkles, “So?”
“Yes?” Castiel blinked.
“Gonna give me a good luck kiss or not?” Dean asked, squeezing Cas’ shoulders, going back to biting his bottom lip as he looked up at Cas through his lashes.
To be honest, if Castiel did what he truly wanted, he’d be leaning forward and pressing their damn lips together but he couldn’t do that, so instead he settled on giving Dean a roll of his eyes and a fond smile, “Good luck Dean.”
Dean pouted but he let go of Castiel all the same, “I’ll see you later,” he promised. He turned to walk away, but threw his head back to shout, “Looking good in uniform Cas,” he winked and then jogged out to the rest of his team.
“You don’t!” Castiel shouted back jokingly, laughing when Dean turned around and walked backwards so he could mouth to Cas ‘No I don’t and you know it’. Cas’ laughter turned louder when Dean accidentally walked into someone because he was too busy staring at Cas, much to Dean’s embarrassment. The guy still managed to give Cas another wink though, before he turned to his teammates and started to give them a pep talk ahead of the game.
To other people, it might have seemed like Dean was too forward, perhaps even pushy, but Castiel knew better. It had been a year and a half since Dean had shown an interest in Castiel, though Castiel hadn’t quite figured out that the boy had been flirting with him until Dean had huffed a breath and straight out asked him out, mumbling something about how Cas didn’t get it. Against the part of his brain screaming to say yes, Castiel had turned down the offer. Dean hadn’t fought against it, he’d simply nodded and dealt with it, though Cas had been surprised to see that Dean’s eyes looked like they had an awful lot of hurt in them as he walked away.
After that, Dean had gone back to flirting with him, though Cas now understood what it meant. Cas took it as Dean joking around, a bit of ‘harmless’ flirting that he knew wouldn’t go anywhere. Dean always seemed to know what was okay and what wasn’t okay, always keeping himself from crossing the line when he outrageously flirted with Cas whenever he saw him. Dean would never do something that Cas wasn’t comfortable with. He still remembered how much Dean had apologised, begging for forgiveness, after the night when Dean had drunkenly attached himself to Cas at a party for the whole night, mumbling that he really reallyliked Cas and wished he was his boyfriend and why wasn’t he his boyfriend?
Castiel hadn’t minded anyway. He’d never been much of a party person and he’d only been there that night because his friends had dragged him there spouting off nonsense about how it was the place to be. Dean (quite literally) falling on his lap had actually given Castiel something to do other than awkwardly stand at the side-lines and avoid interactions that included a mass amount of people he didn’t really know (he wasn’t good with those, he always ended up saying something wrong where he accidentally embarrassed himself and became the laughing stock or worse, he accidentally insulted someone else).
And besides, Dean had been a rather entertaining drunk, mumbling nonsense into Cas’ neck about what superhero he’d be if he could and how he loved pie so much he would marry it if he was allowed, with it of course being a three way marriage with him, the pie and Cas. Really, the only issue had been when Dean had started saying sweet things to him that he probably didn’t remember the next morning, such sweet things that had made Castiel’s stomach clench as he forced himself to not do what he so desperately wanted and press his lips to Dean’s.
No, Dean wouldn’t ever do something that he knew was crossing the line and if Castiel told him to stop, Cas knew that he would. Castiel didn’t mind Dean flirting with him anyway, they both knew the unspoken lines. Cas would be lying however, if he said that it didn’t hurt sometimes and he swore that he occasionally saw Dean’s expression turn upset when Castiel rejected or didn’t play along with his flirtations.
Castiel shook his head to get his head back into the game ahead of him, calling for the rest of his team to make their formation, quickly telling them any last minute thoughts. And then suddenly they were out on the field, giving their cheer performance to the roaring crowd. Castiel kept a wide smile on his face even though, as ever, it felt unnatural. For some reason he caught Dean’s eye and his smile turned more genuine when Dean gave him a wave and a wink, though it did nearly cause Castiel to drop the girl he was holding up.
Once both of the cheerleading teams had performed, it was time for the game and Castiel and the rest of the squad stood at the side lines, screaming out random cheers that they’d perfected long ago. Most of the cheers included Dean’s last name seeing as he was the quarterback, much to Dean’s delight and amusement if his comments about it the next day of every game were anything to go by. Dean loved to joke that he’d already managed to make Cas scream his name.
Their team was playing well, the crowd behind them seeing as it was a home game. The other team seemed to be getting annoyed, however, and some of them were flagging. Castiel didn’t pay much attention to the other team though, he was too busy watching Dean’s every move, cheering him on as he grabbed the football.
And that was when everything went to hell.
Someone from the other team, much bigger than Dean, sprinted at him, wrapping his arms around him as he tackled him to the ground. Now Cas wasn’t an expert on this, but he knew when he saw a hard tackle. Even without the way the crowd made a collective gasp, Cas knew that it was bad and he felt his own heart beat stop for what felt like a very long moment as he took in the scene.
The guy that had tackled Dean scrambled up, clearly unhurt, but he had a panicked expression as he leaned down to Dean. Castiel wasn’t close enough but he knew he was asking Dean whether he was okay, babbling an apology as he scratched at the back of his neck, obviously not meaning to have rammed Dean so hard.
Castiel’s heart jumped into his throat when he realised that Dean wasn’t replying to the random opposing teammate. He was stock still on the floor, splayed out just where the guy had left him.
Dean wasn’t moving.
Being on the track team certainly seemed to be in Castiel’s favour because he was across the field in a few seconds, skidding to Dean and falling to his knees next to him. The only other people surrounding him was the opposing teammate and a few other of the guys that had already been near Dean when the whole thing had happened.
Cas droned everyone else out and cupped Dean’s face, feeling hysteria take over him as he noted how Dean’s eyes were closed and mouth slack, “Dean?” he asked, shaking hands touching Dean’s sweaty skin, though Castiel made sure he didn’t move him in anyway, he didn’t know his injuries and he might make it worse if he jolted him, “Dean?”
When Dean still didn’t make any movements, the hysteria was thrumming throughout his entire body and he felt like he couldn’t breathe, “Oh god, oh god, please wake up,” he begged, “Please wake up,” he felt wetness on his cheeks but he ignored the fact that it was apparently raining, it didn’t matter, his only focus was Dean.
And then a miracle happened, Dean groaned, eyes shutting even further as he scrunched up his face.
“Dean?” Castiel sighed in relief, though he was still shaking, “You’re okay,” he gabbled, one hand still on Dean’s cheek as Dean’s eyes opened, the other wandering down to clench one of Dean’s hands, entwining their fingers tightly together which caused the bones on Cas’ knuckles to stick out, “You’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” Dean mumbled and he went to sit up, using his free hand to pull himself up, but he quickly slammed back down on the floor with a grunt, “Fuck. No. I’m not fine,” he pressed his lips tightly together, “I think my wrist is broken.”
“Fuck,” the big guy who’d bashed into him apologised, eyes wide in what definitely looked like horror, “I’m sorry, I never meant to-“
“It’s okay man, it’s fine,” Dean brushed it aside, “It’s not your fault- fuck,” he gritted his teeth, clenching Cas’ hand tightly as he fought through the pain.
“Okay,” the medic finally arrived, pushing the gathering crowd of footballers out of the way to get to Dean, “Everyone move out of the way, give him space.”
“Cas-“ Dean held onto Cas’ hand even tighter, more than Cas thought possible, “Cas can stay.”
“Alright,” the medic said, glaring at everyone else to take another step backwards, “Don’t move for me.”
“I’m fine, it’s just my wrist, nothing else,” Dean scowled, suddenly realising he was the centre of attention. While Dean always loved attention when he wanted it, this wasn’t exactly the best time to have everyone gawping at you.
“Don’t move your neck,” the medic repeated sternly.
Dean rolled his eyes but he kept still all the same and he finally looked at Cas properly, his pout quickly turning to concern, “Hey,” he pulled their joint hands up to brush them across Cas’ cheek, “Don’t cry,” he murmured, “It’s okay.”
Oh. So it wasn’t raining. Castiel was just hysterically crying in front of everyone. Castiel was past caring what anyone else thought but he tried to hold in any more tears; Dean shouldn’t be the one worrying about him and Cas most certainly didn’t want to make Dean getting hurt even a bigger deal (even though it was a big deal) and send Dean into some sort of panic or anything.
The medic started asking questions to Dean so Dean’s attention was away from Cas, though his hand stayed clasped with Cas’. Cas didn’t listen to the questions, he just kept his gaze on Dean’s, trying to find anything else wrong with him.
He was jolted out of his one way staring match when Dean’s mother was suddenly next to him, face very afraid as she battled through the crowds to get to her son. She relaxed when she saw that Dean was talking and wriggling his hands and feet after an instruction from the medic.
Through politeness and common courtesy, Castiel went to shuffle aside but Mrs Winchester halted him with a hand on his arm, “No, it’s okay,” she looked down at Cas’ hand entwined with Dean’s, “You stay where you are.”
Castiel nodded gratefully and it was only then that he realised he was using his free hand to brush away the hair on Dean’s sticky forehead. Dean made no effort to tell him to stop as he talked to the medic and just squeezed Cas’ hand some more.
By the time Castiel’s heart had finally settled into a more normal heart beat, the ambulance had arrived and then everyone was being forced to move aside as the ambulance workers turned up. Even then, Castiel and Dean’s mother were allowed to stay and Cas managed to keep his hand firmly with Dean’s even when he was being slid onto a stretcher.
With a thud of his heart, Castiel quickly realised that Dean was going to go in the ambulance and that meant Cas had to let go of his hand. Only, Castiel didn’t want to let go, he wasn’t even sure he could.
Mrs Winchester seemed to save him again, telling him with a soft expression as the medics got ready to lift Dean up, “How about you go in the ambulance with him. I’ve got my car and I need to drive it to the hospital so I’ll be able to take him home. You go in with him and take care of him, okay?” she smiled, squeezing Cas’ shoulder.
“Okay,” Cas nodded, his voice sounding strange. It was probably from all the crying.
Dean’s mom smiled at him before she weaved around to kiss Dean on the forehead, telling him that she would meet him in the hospital which Dean agreed to, saying that she didn’t need to worry because he was fine.
The trek to the ambulance seemed to annoy Dean and he turned to Cas and scowled, “I don’t think the stretcher is necessary.”
Castiel only squeezed his hand tighter.
Somehow through the ambulance ride, Castiel managed to keep his hand wrapped with Dean’s. The ambulance workers looked like they knew what they were doing and one stayed in the back with them, easing Cas’ worry at the same times as Dean’s (even though Dean didn’t seem a tiny bit worried at all). Most of all, Cas felt some of the tension ease away at the fact that the ambulance wasn’t using their sirens, which meant that they obviously thought that Dean’s injuries weren’t the life ending kind.

Dean’s mother appeared only a few minutes later to Cas and Dean’s arrival. Cas looked up and forced a smile, genuinely happy that she’d finally arrived. Sitting here in the mildly empty corridor that stunk of disinfectant was slowly turning Cas crazy.
Mrs Winchester frowned back, “Are you not with Dean?”
“Oh, no, they asked me to wait out here,” Castiel explained, still annoyed at the fact. Dean’s mother’s face turned into understanding as she took the uncomfortable plastic chair next to Cas.
“They’re just checking him over and putting a- a cast on his wrist,” Cas told her, fiddling with his own wrist as he said it.
“How was he in the ambulance?” she asked, her face set in a concerned look that only mothers could convey.
“He was okay, he was like his usual self. He was flir-“ Castiel halted, realising that perhaps it wasn’t best for him to tell her that her son had been asking Cas in the ambulance whether they were playing doctors and nurses and would Cas be wearing the uniform? “He was his usual self Mrs Winchester,” Castiel repeated with a smile.
“Mary,” Dean’s mother replied with a smile of relief at Cas’ words, “You can call me Mary,” she looked over at the door that separated them from Dean, “And he wonders why I’ve never liked him playing football when things like this can happen,” she smiled at Cas, her eyes warm and Cas was startled with how much Dean looked like his mother, especially the smile, “Why couldn’t he have chosen the cheerleading path like you?”
Castiel felt himself relaxing as he spoke to Mary, she must have a talent for it unlike his own mother, “There are dangers in cheerleading too,” he fiddled with the hem of his cheerleading jacket, “With all the flailing limbs and all. I’ve been kicked in the face a few times.”
Mary’s face broke into a smile, “Ah, perhaps not then.”
“Perhaps not, no,” Castiel agreed, gaze turning to the door yet again. God, he ached to storm in there no matter what the nurses and doctors told him. He knew Dean was okay, when Cas had been led out of the room, Dean had been smiling but still, Cas really wanted to get back in there.
“So,” Mary nudged his shoulder with her own, “You’re Castiel, right?”
Castiel blinked at her, surprised that she would know who he was. They’d never had a conversation before this, Cas had never been around to Dean’s house to see his family. Hell, Cas wasn’t even sure he’d been in the same room as Dean’s mother before.
“Yes,” Castiel replied, ridiculously sounding unsure about his own name.
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Mary’s eyes twinkled and there was amusement in them, “A lot about you. Dean never really shuts up,” she leaned in like she was confiding something with him, “I think you’re his favourite subject.”
“Oh,” Castiel murmured, bewildered at best. Dean was talking about him to his mother? Sure, Dean had never been shy to imply things to Cas, but talking about Cas to his mother seemed like a totally different level. Did Dean do this with everyone he liked or wanted to bed? But Mary had said he was Dean’s favourite subject. Did that mean Dean only talked about Cas? What the hell was Cas supposed to take from that?!
“You-“ Mary’s face turned into worry, “You did know that he liked you? He said you did,” she looked panicked then, like she’d just accidentally told one of her son’s biggest secrets.
“No, no, I knew that he-” Cas swallowed, “liked me. I just- I just didn’t know he spoke about it to you.”
“Oh, he does,” Mary laughed, though it was half-hearted, probably because they were in a hospital after all, “I’ve never spoken to you but I feel like I know every little detail about you after three years of hearing Dean talk on and on about you.”
Jesus, Dean’s mother was full of surprises tonight.
“Three-“ Cas felt his head go funny, “Three years?”
“Oh,” Mary frowned and then tried to smile, albeit a weak one, “I’ve really put my foot in it haven’t I? I’ll stop talking now, else I’m going to be giving away all of my son’s secrets and he won’t talk to me for a week.”
Castiel nodded dumbly, though he wasn’t really listening anymore.
Dean had liked Cas since freshman year? As far as Cas had known, Dean had only shown an interest around the end of their junior year and even then Cas had just thought he’d only been interested because he’d slept with eighty percent of the rest of the cheerleading squad (amongst other girls in school too). Sure, Castiel had been the first guy that Dean had ever looked at like that, but Cas hadn’t really thought about it too much. On hindsight, perhaps he should have.
Freshman year though? Liking Cas enough since then to talk about it with his mother?
….Fuck..
“Mrs Winchester?” a nurse appeared from nowhere.
“Yes,” Mary stood up, Cas following suit.
The nurse smiled, “You can go in to see your son now. He’s doing fine, no head injuries or anything else, just a broken wrist.”
Mary’s whole body seemed to melt as she thanked the nurse, grabbed a hold of Cas’ hand and marched into the room where Dean was located.
Dean was propped up on bed, legs up onto the thin, spongy mattress as he frowned down at the plain white cast on his arm. He looked up as the door opened though and his face stretched into a grin. Cas had worried that Dean might have been hooked up on painkillers and mumbling nonsense but he seemed perfectly fine, even going as far as to rolling his eyes when his mother wrapped him in a bear hug.
“I’m fine mom,” Dean told her, though he was smiling and squeezing back just as hard, “It’s just a broken wrist, I’m fine.”
Mary leaned out and raised an eyebrow, “Just?”
Dean looked sheepish and stared down at his cast with disdain, “Yeah okay, but I can go home now. They’re not keeping me in or anything. They said they were just getting you a form to fill in and sign or something,” he looked up to his mom, “Did you call dad?”
“Yes, I called from the car,” she swept a hand through his hair, “I told him not to come up until I found out what was going on. I didn’t want him to grab Sam and drive here unless it was necessary seeing as Sam is sick.”
“Yeah,” Dean agreed. That explained Cas’ silent wondering of why Dean’s little brother hadn’t been there then.
“Do you understand why I don’t like football now?” Dean’s mother prompted, much to Dean’s annoyance and slight embarrassment, probably because Cas was here to hear his mother berating him for playing football.
Castiel didn’t pay much too attention to their talking though, too overwhelmed with the fact that Dean wasokay. He was fine and talking and he was going to be okay.
Dean’s gaze finally turned to Cas and his eyes softened, “Hey, I’m okay,” he murmured and when Cas’ expression mustn’t have changed, Dean gestured to Cas with a small smile, “C’mere.”
Cas wasted no time and climbed up onto the bed, not caring if Dean didn’t mean for him to get quite so close. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and hid his face in Dean’s chest, inhaling him in.
“I should have given you a proper good luck, like you said,” Cas mumbled, voice barely audible, though by the way Dean chuckled, he clearly heard it.
“Well,” Dean wrapped one arm around Cas’ waist to hold him tightly, his other hand lightly scraping over the back of Cas’ head and neck, “We’ll remember that for next time.”
Cas tipped his head so he could see Dean’s face, huffing when he saw the cheeky grin plastered there. Dean only grinned harder, eyes crinkling as he pulled Cas back to him, letting Cas use his chest as a pillow.
“I wonder if we won the game,” Dean mused.
“Dean, is that really something you should be worrying about right now while you’re in hospital?” Mary asked exasperated.
“They cancelled the game,” Cas interrupted before any argument or disagreement could occur.
“They did?” Dean asked, sounding surprised. Cas made a noise that implied yes; he’d gotten several texts from his friends asking for gossip on Dean (though some of them were genuinely asking to see whether he was okay) and while Cas hadn’t replied to any of them, quite a few of them had told him that they had cancelled the game because of what had happened.
“I’m going to miss the big game,” Dean suddenly realised aloud, his grip around Cas’ waist unconsciously tightening.
“It’s okay,” Mrs Winchester said, meaning to be soothing.
“Mom, that’s the one where all the scouts come to and I’m going to be on the bench because of my stupid wrist. No scouts seeing me means no football scholarship,” Dean tilted his head to slightly bury his face in Cas’ hair in a way that Cas assumed to be seeking for comfort, “Now everything is all messed up.”
“No, it’s not,” Mary replied, voice calm, “the scouts have videos they can watch to see you in play. This doesn’t mean you won’t get a football scholarship. Anyway, you have a lot of subjects you’re good, no, great at and you could get a scholarship from then. Besides,” she rubbed at Dean’s arm comfortingly, “Your dad and I have money saved for college, you don’t need to worry about that. And you definitely don’t need to worry about all of this right now, okay?”
“Okay,” Dean said, lips lifting into a smile when Cas twisted a little so he could entwine their fingers together.
It wasn’t long until the nurse came back with the forms Mary had to fill in and it took even less time for Dean’s mother to sign them in and pass them back. And then they were off. Thankfully, Mary offered to drive Castiel back home and Cas agreed to it, else he would have been stranded at a hospital.
Mary obviously didn’t miss the way Dean chose to sit in the back with Cas, hand gripping Castiel’s, though she didn’t say anything even as Cas caught her eye in the rear view mirror.
The car ride was pretty much quiet apart from when Mary put Dean’s father on speaker to tell him what had happened and that they were on their way back. As the conversation continued, Cas dropped his head to Dean’s shoulder, hiding his smile when Dean pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Again, it felt like Dean was comforting him and not the other way around, but Dean didn’t seem to mind anyway.
It felt like hardly any time had passed when Cas’ house came into view and Cas jolted to wakefulness, only then just realising he had been falling asleep.
“Come on,” Dean smiled, “Let me walk you to your door.”
“No Dean,” Cas argued back, “You’re injured!”
“I’m fine,” Dean reiterated with a roll of his eyes for perhaps the hundredth time that night, “Let me be a gentleman and walk you to your door,” at Cas’ incredulous expression at Dean being a ‘gentleman’, he added with a smirk, “Because hey, you never know, a guy could be lurking in the bushes or something.”
Castiel could have commented on the fact that his front yard had no bushes but instead he said with a raised brow, “And what would you do if there was? How are you going to protect me when one of your wrists is in a cast?”
“Oh,” Dean grinned widely, “I’m not going to do anything. I’d call my mom and she’d kick their ass.”
With a quick glance at Mary, who was smiling fondly at her son, Cas knew that he had no help from her to tell Dean to stay in the car.
“Okay,” Castiel said, much to Dean’s happiness.
“Goodnight Castiel,” Mary said from the driving seat.
“Goodnight Mrs Winche- Mary-“ he corrected at her glance, “Thank you for driving me home.”
“You’re welcome honey.”
“Come on,” Dean opened the car door and dragged Cas out with him, their hands still clasped together. It was strange, Cas thought, at how right it felt to be holding Dean’s hand when he’d never done it before today. It actually felt like they’d been doing this for months already.
They walked to Cas’ front door in silence, hand in hand. When they reached there though, Cas knew Dean was going to have something to say. And Cas was kind of dreading it seeing as he had no clue what was going on his own head at the moment, not after what Mary had told him.
“So,” Dean started to say, looking oddly nervous, perhaps the most nervous Cas had ever seen him, “After tonight, would it be fair of me to assume that you like me? Or did I just hit my head too hard and I’m completely misreading it?” he tried to joke but Castiel had known him for long enough to know that he was deflecting his anxieties into something more light-hearted.
Cas bit his bottom lip, wondering at what to say, but when he thought to what Dean’s mother had said and to how he’d reacted to Dean being hurt, like it was the end of the freaking world, Cas made a decision, “It wouldn’t-“ he licked his lips, suddenly feeling as nervous as Dean looked, “It wouldn’t be farfetched to say that, no.”
Dean still looked worried as he asked, “Wait,” he tried to smile, “Which one?”
Castiel swallowed, before he admitted, voice quiet, “I like you.”
And the way Dean’s face lit up like a Christmas tree told Cas that he’d perhaps made the right decision “Since when?”
“I’m- I’m not sure,” Castiel shrugged, wincing when he added, “A while? Middle school maybe?”
He still remembered now when he’d first realised he had a crush on the Dean Winchester. It had been terrifying, but oddly reassuring that Dean would obviously never feel the same way about him. Things of course had gotten a whole lot more complicated when Dean had suddenly shown an interest in him. It had made things so much harder for Castiel, so much harder to keep a step back and never go past those boundaries that would probably end him up in a whole lot of trouble. Boundaries that Castiel had threw himself over tonight at the first sign of Dean being hurt.
“What?” Dean’s delight quickly turned into confusion, “But that’s before I even showed an interest in you,” he squeezed Cas’ hand as he furrowed his brows, “You’ve liked me this entire time, right from the get go?”
Cas nodded miserably, looking back to Dean’s car, noticing that Mary was looking down at her phone. Cas was grateful for the fact that she was giving them as much privacy as she could give them in the situation.
“But-“ Dean tipped his head to the side as he looked like he tried to understand, “I asked you out and you said no,” his expression turned to hurt, which just made Cas want to kiss it all away, “Any time I’ve made any notion that I like you, you’ve never reacted in a way that said you liked me back. You made it quite clear that you didn’t want to date me and you saw me flirting with you as something funny, nothing more.”
Castiel put himself in Dean’s shoes and realised how upsetting that must be. Flirting with a guy that you really liked, liked enough to talk endlessly about them with your mother, only for the other guy to treat it a joke. And then to top it off, the guy had liked him all along anyway. Honestly, when Cas put it that way, he was surprised that Dean was still holding his hand right now.
“I know,” Cas awkwardly felt that his throat was starting to thicken all over again, “I’m- I’m sorry.”
Dean’s face softened and he brought his free hand up to carefully cup Cas’ jaw, “Cas, you want to tell me what’s going on?”
Castiel tried to think of a delicate way of putting it but he just ended up blurting out, “I don’t want to just be another number.”
“Huh?” Dean’s whole face scrunched up, which of course made him look adorable and momentarily made Cas forget the whole conversation.
“You’ve slept with a lot of people Dean,” Cas tried to explain, realising he was doing a terrible job, “Girls,” he added.
“Okay,” Dean rolled off the tongue slowly, clearly not getting it.
“And obviously that’s your choice and I don’t judge you for that, not at all,” Castiel said because he didn’t, Dean could sleep with as many people as he wanted, “But they’ve all been very vocal on how it was all one night stands or- or a fling. The cheerleaders talk Dean,” Cas’ hand tightened around Dean’s as he thought about all the conversations he’d heard from the girls he cheered with about having sex with Dean in all sorts of different positions, “I’ve heard all about some of your conquests in much more detail than I ever wanted,” he watched Dean wince at that and it made Cas hope that Dean understood the problem. If Dean liked Cas as much as he said he did, he would surely realise how hurtful it was for Cas to endure so many people around him talk about their sex life with Dean, even though Cas had had no right to be bothered about it when he hadn’t made any notion to Dean that he liked him.
“I-“ Cas gulped, trying to choose his wording so it didn’t sound harsh, “I don’t want to be a fling or a conquest.”
Dean’s whole face turned understanding and he asked, thumb brushing against Cas’ cheekbone, “Is that what you’re worried about?” he kept his voice soft, no defensive nature at all, “That I’m going to sleep with you and then cast you aside?”
Cas averted his gaze at that, at the sentence that had been his biggest worry ever since Dean had shown an interest him. This whole time Cas had thought that Dean saw him as a conquest, maybe even a challenge and nothing more.
“Hey, look at me,” Dean murmured and when Cas looked at him, he saw warmth in those green eyes, “Did any of my ‘conquests’” he quoted with a roll of his eyes, “ever complain about me?”
“They all-“ Cas frowned, wondering what that had to do with anything, “They all said you were very good in bed.”
Dean honest to god chuckled at that as he pressed their foreheads together, hand sliding to rest at the nape of Cas’ neck, “Well that’s a great confidence booster Cas but not what I meant,” he leaned out slightly as he asked, “I mean, did they ever complain that I treated them badly, like lied to them or led them on?”
“Oh,” Cas’ cheeks coloured at his mistake, “No.”
Dean smiled broadly, “That’s because with all of them, we both knew it was just a onetime thing or, like, a mini fling, nothing more,” he brought Cas closer to him so again, their foreheads were pressed together, “I don’t want that with you Cas. I want to be with you, full stop. Be a couple, not a one night stand. Go on dates, hold your hand and” he huffed, “do all the other soppy things with you.”
Castiel wanted to believe it all, god he wanted to believe it, but there was still one thing he needed to understand, “But- you’ve- you’ve liked me since freshman year.”
“Yeah,” Dean said slowly, looking confused that Castiel knew that but he didn’t ask how he’d found out.
Castiel frowned, “And you’ve still slept with girls since then Dean.”
Dean nudged their noses together, “That’s only cause I thought I had no chance with you and I wanted to try and get over you but, um,” his cheeks turned a shade of pink, “Apparently you’re hard to get over- well-impossible.”
Cas felt himself smile as he admitted, “If it’s any consolation, you’re impossible to get over too.”
Dean huffed and looked into Cas’ eyes as he said, “I lo-“ he coughed, “I really like you Cas.”
“I really like you too,” he murmured.
Dean bit his bottom lip, looking down to Cas’ chapped lips, “So,” he looked back up into Cas’ eyes, “Are you gonna give me a chance and let me prove to you that I mean it when I say I want to do all the soppy things with you?” he winked, “I’m a great cuddler y’know and I can cook you dinner and-“
Cas did what he’d wanted to do every time Dean had given him some stupid flirty remark.
He shut him up with a kiss.
