Work Text:
Satan couldn’t be happier. Sat across him was his lovely girlfriend with a cat on her lap and a drink in her hand. He, too, had a cat on his lap and even a small kitten resting on his palm. The two were tasked to buy a book from the human world by Diavolo but he’d given them the freedom to do whatever they wanted after their task. And so, they ended up in a cat cafe near the library they got the book from.
“Satan, that cat is trying to take a sip of your tea,” she called out, gesturing to the small cat trying to knock down his drink.
“No, no, no. You can’t drink that, darling,” he whispered. He kept the hand with the kitten napping still while his other hand carried the cat away from his tea.
The couple sat in comfortable silence, occasionally breaking it when a cat does something to catch either of their attention. He took a sip of his tea, taking out the book he bought along with the one Diavolo asked for. He flipped through the pages with one hand, the other staying on the cat’s fur on his lap. In his hand was one of the few stories of Sherlock Holmes he’d yet to read; The Hound of Baskervilles.
“Y’know, I’m surprised you haven’t read that until now,” she said, her lips leaving her drink for only a moment to speak.
“Why?” he asked, looking up from the book.
“Well, that one’s really popular,” she pointed out.
“Ah, that must’ve been why. Perhaps it was so popular that our libraries couldn’t get a hold of it and eventually forgot.” he shrugged.
The two fell into another silence as Satan went back to his book while she brought out her own book she bought. They were so immersed in their own worlds that they failed to realize the frantic texts of Asmo and Lucifer. Satan felt a shift in his lap and saw the cat had stood up and started hissing at a white cat underneath the table.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, putting down his book as he tried to calm the angry cat.
The white cat jumped on his lap and started trying to push the other cat off. Soon enough, the cat gave up and jumped off, letting the white cat stay on his lap. The white cat started meowing and hissing, trying to scratch and climb Satan.
“Wah! Stop!” he exclaimed, chuckling.
His lover noticed the commotion and had also put down her book to watch. Satan picked up the cat and tried to pull it away from him but to no avail. The cat insisted on staying on Satan, meowing endlessly. Satan was almost giggling as he played with the cat. The cat kept meowing, turning to Satan’s pocket to grab his wallet. The cat took the wallet in its mouth and jumped on the table to the human on the other side.
“Aren’t you greedy,” she chuckled, petting the cat. The cat dropped the wallet in favor of leaning into her hand.
“Yeah, it reminds me of Mammon,” Satan chuckled, grabbing his wallet.
The cat noticed this and hissed, jumping into the human’s lap. Suddenly, the cat started emitting some sort of smoke.
“Uh, Satan? What’s going-” she started before a big puff of smoke exploded from the cat.
Satan tried to clear away the smoke, trying to get a grasp of the situation. He was able to make out a very familiar silhouette. The smoke cleared and what was revealed to him filled him with both confusion and rage.
“Mammon!” he hissed.
“Satan!” Mammon exclaimed.
Mammon was sat on the human’s lap. Satan’s eyes darkened and his signature I-will-kill-you smile emerged. Mammon jumped off of her lap and dashed out of the shop. Satan, making sure all the cats were safely out of his way, chased after him.
Left behind, the human called for a waiter to take the drink with her. She knew they weren’t going to return anytime soon. She opened her phone to find messages from the demon brothers in their group chat.
House of Lamentation
Lucifer: Satan, human. Mammon tried to steal Satan’s Cat Transfiguration book and turned into a cat
Lucifer: He’s in the human world right now
Leviathan: ROFL XDDDD
Asmodeus: if you find him, feel free not to bring him back
Satan is currently chasing after Mammon
Can we get an F in the chat boys
Leviathan: F
Asmodeus: F
Belphegor: F
Beelzebub: F
Lucifer: F