Chapter Text
PROLOGUE
“If our two worlds flow differently from the present, then I won’t be able to remember you. Then I’ll live without knowing you”
His hand fell from the spot where an ugly scar used to be, the pale scar tissue who was the reminder of the great tragedy of his life was gone just like that. And he didn’t feel any relief, because the emotional pain didn’t disappear into the thin air too. Then the implications of his survival finally hit him, the memories he held onto for so long could disappear at any moment.
No more a mysterious id card guiding him in his journey, no more a tenacious woman waiting for him, no more any glimpse of Jeong Tae Eul in his life. He saved their worlds from destruction, but at the same time he had lost his entire universe.
Gon knew exactly what expected him when he made this choice, yet it wasn’t less painful. He thought that Death was waiting for him at the end of the journey, anxious of pulling him in her freezing embrace after running away for so long from that yearned confrontation. He accepted his destiny easily, at that point to continue living was just an act of pure selfishness, and he had been one for too long.
Dying was the easier choice, and for the darkest part of his mind, an escape from his burden who became bigger over the years. How many lives have been destroyed because he chose to save himself instead of stopping Lee Rim? Maybe in something they were similar, both wanted something impossible and both needed to pay for being greedy with others’ lives.
He truly believed that it was the best choice for everyone, their existences would be better without his heavy presence. His uncle could have been with his family, Yeong could have been more carefree, Lee Ji Hoon would have never been killed, and Tae Eul… His Tae Eul would be happy too, doing a nice thing for her father once a month, protecting those who couldn’t defend themselves, enjoying her chicken freed and her alcoholic MSD. She wouldn’t shed tears anymore for an undeserving man like him.
Gon gave up on his life and his love, yet the only thing he lost was her. He doubted Tae Eul would forgive him if she knew the truth.
Her worries were coming true and she had no idea what was happening, if Shin Jae had kept to his promise. He felt a little guilty to use his feelings to his advantage, so Tae Eul wouldn’t know his real plan. If she had any doubts about his intentions, she would definitely try to stop him or make him change his mind. He couldn’t allow that, this was his duty to carry out. He looked for a beautiful and simple solution, but reality was ugly and complicated.
And in this way it would have been easier for her because tomorrow it would be like he never existed, like he never crossed paths with her on a late September afternoon. He would fade away from her memories in less than a second, and life would go on. The world would keep spinning, the sun would rise and go down, and the flowers would bloom every spring.
Gon never thought he would survive until Yeong insisted on coming with him, and then her words made he remember he wasn’t alone, there were many people who bravely stood by his side. He was right after all, she had always been the answer he looked for. The one who guided him in the right direction. He had to be hopeful because they hadn’t reach their destination yet.
That night he even told her to not leave like that, and he had done exactly that. Leaving without letting her know what he was getting into, deciding for both of them while hiding behind a foolish excuse. He had promised her that he will return to her and no matter how long and hard the road is, he will open every single door of the universe until he found her. She will not remember him and maybe this would be his chance to do the right thing from the start, and if she remembered him, then he will pass the rest of his life trying to be forgiven and repay his mistake.
He turned the gaze to his left, towards the gate and murmured with regret and resignation "Tae Eul, once again I’m asking you to wait a little longer. Forgive me" and closed his eyes to avoid shedding tears "But now I have to go and save Yeong-ah".
He picked up the Manpasikjeok clutching it hard and ran fastest he could towards the Palace, he had to find Yeong and hurry up to come back to their time.
Yeong was leaning against a wall in Cheonjongo. The bulletproof vest protected him from most gunshots, but he was bleeding profusely. His eyes were closed and his breath hitched in his throat, Yeong-ie not you too. He pressed his index and long fingers in the groove of his neck, the pulse was weak, but fortunately he was still alive. Yeong opened his eyes slightly while murmuring "Pyeha, the Traitor...".
"He is dead, don’t worry about that" he answered while trying to help him to get up. He couldn’t help, but feeling guilty. His best friend almost died because of him. "Oh Yeong-ah... Lean on me" He placed his arm across his shoulders and held it with one hand while the other wrapped around his waist. "Can you walk a little more or should I give a piggyback like when we were children?"
He head the muffled sound of a laugh "Hyeong probably these are my last words: I was happy to serve under you and to follow you in all your battles. I always wanted you to be happy, please, promise me…"
He interrupted him "Yeong-ie, don't be ridiculous, you are not dying, I will not allow that. You can't die, it's the King's order". They were walking with difficulty in the bamboo forest, a few more steps and they would make it. He could already see the gate materializing in front of his eyes.
"Hyeong, I feel so light..."
"Don't you dare close your eyes and let go, please, resist, we are close..."
He dragged him inside the gate and they collapsed on the sand. He tried to catch his breath while closing his eyes, You did it Lee Gon.
“Hyeong what about Kang Shin Jae and Jeong Tae Eul?”
-
“I thought this would break”
“But it sprouted instead”
“Should I break it or just let it be?”
“The door will close, and only the memories of one side will remain”
“What will be the King's choice?”
-
"You did it, Lee Gon" she whispered to the silence around her, Lee Rim was dead and couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. She was proud of him for succeeding his mission, but her heart was aching in pain.
“Then I guess…” she paused, suddenly talking and swallowing her breath was harder. “you won’t be able to come back” A bitter smile appeared on her face while tears ran down her cheeks. They have won, but Tae Eul felt like she had just lost everything.
Where was he? Was he hurt? Her mind was filled with him, every shining moment they spent together was replayed over and over. She was desperately clinging on to memories of Lee Gon, she would allow no one to take them away, they belonged to her, to them. Tae Eul fought tenaciously for this love, it wasn’t fair for God or any deity to divide them, what have they done that was so terrible to deserve such punishment?
She threatened a God once, she broke one of their rules once, were they being punished for her greediness? Being in love with someone and wanting more time together to have the chance to let their love bloom was a sin? If she could, she would do it all again. Meeting him, believing him, following him in his world, loving him, waiting for him.
What was the point of believing the earth was round if he wasn’t a part of it?
She didn’t want to part from him, their story couldn’t end in this damned place. Crossing the gate Tae Eul knew perfectly what she got herself into, she left behind her world and futile worries. Her choice has never been clearer, him and always him. Whatever awaited them, she would be by his side and they would face their fate together. Please, she pleaded him in her mind one last time, find me. I will wait for you.
She looked around as the storms of pink petals intensified, "They bloomed, I was right, wasn't I?" She busted into tears, sobbing loudly, while her body crashed under the weight of its knees. She loved him, and she lost him, it seemed the pattern of their life. Tragedy never abandoned their life, waiting in the dark before taking away their happiness. Lee Gon.His name was the last thing she uttered before being swayed by the darkness.
She didn’t know that her desperate tentative was useless, because someone in a higher position already made his decision. Her world was destined to become flat again as if nothing happened.
Her eyes opened suddenly, she moved the head a little looking up at the sky, dark green shadows stained the light blue. Tae Eul was quite confused about her whereabouts, where am I?
She sat down with difficulty on the cold ground, there were many people around her, but no familiar faces. Someone asked her if she was fine or needed help. She shacked her head while looking around, it looked like the bamboo forest near the highway. What happened? How did I get here? She tried to remember the last thing that happened or her last case, but she couldn’t recall nothing. She was working on the strange disappearance of – No, wrong, you are handling a murder case, the one committed by that actress. Don’t you remember?– Right, Jang Kyung Mi killed a fellow actress for jealousy. Thankfully her brain was working fine, so she didn’t have a concussion.
“Should we call the police or an ambulance?”
“Look she is holding a gun!”
“She is bleeding”
“What should we do?”
“We should go”
The whispers distracted her from the questions wandering her mind, and finally realized that the weight in her hand was indeed a gun. She quickly put it in her pocket.
"Where I am?"
“This is the Bamboo Forest, the one near the highway”
She rummaged in the other pocket of her jacket and pulled off her id card showing it to a woman nearby “I’m a police officer, can I use your phone to make a quick call?”. She composed quickly a number, one drill, two drill, Come on, answer your phone!
“Chief Park, it’s me Jeong Tae Eul!”
“Jeong Tae Eul? Are you calling me even on your day off? Someone is working hard to get promoted!” His voice was cheerful, like nothing happened. Because nothing happened Jeong Tae Eul, stop overthinking.
“What? No, no… I’m calling because I wake up in a bamboo forest, maybe I hit the head following some thug…” She started to explain the situation, which seemed surreal even to her, but her boss interrupted her promptly “Did you drink last night? Detective Shim, hurry up! Our Tae Eul-ie ended up in a forest after getting drunk. Once you held your liquor very well, it seems you are getting old too.”
She could hear the loud laughs in the background “Yah! I didn’t get drunk! I… I actually don’t remember what happened, but I swear I will make you pay for this” she hissed the last words.
“Gwenchana, gwenchana. I will send Jangmi to gather you. Okay? And by the way, are you fine?”
Am I fine? As if was awakened by these words, a deep emptiness inside her -unknown until that moment- began to ache.
“Y-Yes, I’m fine” and with that she closed the call, returning the phone to the owner. Her body began to tremble, she couldn’t remember what happened last night and why was she feeling so sad.
"What I'm doing here?"