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Loki couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t known Baldur. As far back as her memory could go, he was always there for her—comforting her when she was sad, patching her up when she hurt herself doing something stupid, sticking up for her against anyone who tried to bully or tease her. Loki knew with absolute certainty that she loved Baldur more than she had ever loved anyone (including her own parents).
So, with shaking hands and a stammering voice, she had asked Baldur out on a date. When he had said yes with a gentle smile, she felt… something in her chest. She wasn’t sure what. Excitement, presumably.
As soon as she got out of class that day, she stripped out of her awful school uniform and jumped in the shower. Twenty minutes later, she sat in front of the mirror in her dorm room, carefully applying dark lipstick and darker eyeliner. Satisfied with her makeup, she put on a black dress, black tights with a few rips in them, and heavy black boots. As the finishing touch, she artfully parted her hair so that part of it hung in her face. She stood up and looked at herself. As she did, she grinned. She looked fantastic.
So why was her stomach twisting in knots?
Nerves, she decided. She was just nervous because she liked Baldur so much. That was it.
Loki met him in the student parking lot. When she approached his car, he was leaning against it and reading a textbook. “Nerd!” she called out.
Baldur flipped her off before tossing his book into the backseat of the car. “Studying doesn’t make you a nerd!”
“Studying before a date does.” She grinned at him as she walked up and slid into the passenger seat. Baldur laughed and got in on the other side. “So, where are we going?”
“How does dinner and a movie sound?”
“Sounds great.”
“And maybe some stargazing afterwards?”
“Nerd.” Baldur rolled his eyes. Loki grinned. “It sounds great.”
Throughout the entire date, Loki couldn’t decide how to feel. All of these were things she had done with Baldur countless times, and she had always enjoyed them. And she was enjoying them tonight, too, but… when she started to remember that they were on a date , that same twisting feeling came back to her stomach. She tried to ignore it.
When the movie was over, they drove out to their favorite field and grabbed the blanket that Baldur always kept in the trunk for exactly this reason. As she always did, she curled up against his side. Baldur wrapped an arm around her and she laid with her head on his shoulder, looking up at the stars with him. “Baldur?”
“Yeah?”
“Show me the constellations?”
Baldur smiled at her. They both knew that he had shown her a thousand times and that she knew them as well as he did now, but they also both knew that she liked it best when he told her about them. So he did. When he finished, she turned her head to say something and found her face inches from his. Her heart raced as her stomach twisted in knots. They were supposed to kiss now, she realized. This was what people on dates did—they had dinner, they saw a movie, and then they kissed. She was supposed to want this.
Loki took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and went in for the kiss. The books she had read and movies she had watched had told her exactly what to expect. A burst of emotion in her chest, fireworks behind her eyes, electricity in her veins. Everything was supposed to feel beautiful and perfect and right.
But it felt wrong.
Loki pulled back with a gasp. “I think I’m gay,” she and Baldur blurted out at the same moment.
A beat passed. They both burst into uncontrollable laughter, falling over each other.
“That sucked!” Loki wheezed out. “That was horrible!”
“The kiss or the whole date?”
“Yes!”
They both laughed harder. When their laughter finally began dying down, Baldur sat up. Loki followed suit, wiping tears from her eyes. “Loki, I love you more than anyone besides Thor. I love you two the same way—you’re both my siblings. You’re like my little sister. I love you.”
Loki threw herself forward, drawing Baldur into a tight hug. “I love you, too.”
Baldur kissed her on the top of her head before pulling back. “How about we go get milkshakes?”
“You know I’ll never say no to that.” She collapsed against him. “You have to carry me to the car, though.”
“Alright,” Baldur laughed. He scooped Loki up, carrying her back to the car and setting her in the passenger seat. “Hold on while I get the blanket.”
“Okay.” Loki yawned, getting settled in the seat. As they got driving back into the city, Loki looked over at Baldur. Baldur was handsome, she knew that. And he was kind, and sweet, and tender, and funny, and loving. And he was hers —not romantically, sure, but still hers. Her best friend. Her brother.
And nothing would ever rip them apart.