Archive of Our Own

Stephen had his head on Tony's shoulder, Pepper's head in his lap and was feeling content. No, not content. Happy. So, of course, the universe had to conspire against him and destroy the lovely illusion he'd built for himself that he could have this.

"Stephen?" Pepper's voice was soft but the way Tony's arm around his waist suddenly tightened as if to keep him here, put him on yellow alert.

He swallowed hard, already knowing where this would be leading and hating it with every fiber of his being. Game over. If only he could advance to the next level… but no. He couldn't.

"Will you stay the night?" she continued.

"Please, sweetheart," Tony added. "We don't want you to go."

Tony pressed a light kiss against the pulse point on his neck and Stephen shivered at the desperately wanted intimacy. Too bad that what inevitably followed wasn't his kind of thing at all. Never had been, never would be. He had two gorgeous people, who, somehow, unbelievably,  had decided to take him into their hearts and he, just like always before, couldn't give them what they wanted. Needed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, desperately swallowing down the threatening tears and looking down at Pepper because it was a little bit easier to look at her than Tony. Any moment now happiness and hope would dissolve into sadness and disappointment. She would get up, Tony would let go of him, he would say his goodbyes and leave them for a cozy night in, very probably crowned by a round of great sex while he would crawl into his too big and lonely bed, once again wishing for things to be different.

Why couldn't he be a normal human being with normal urges? Two of the most gorgeous and wonderful people to ever walk the Earth wanted him and all he wanted was cuddling and maybe, just maybe, some halfway-intimate caresses. He wanted more but at the same time he didn't and all the wishing in the universe couldn't and wouldn't change his basic nature.

"Stephen? Fuck, what's going… here, let me…"

"You're crying, Stephen. What's wrong?"

Both their voices broke through the neverending loop of self-flagellation at the same time. Only now did he realize that he was shaking and Tony holding on to him tightly was the only reason he wasn't falling apart completely while Pepper had moved into a sitting position right in front of him and was gently trying to wipe away the tears.

"Talk to us, baby," Tony whispered behind him.

Don't run away, Stephen heard. Not this time. Please.

"Whatever it is, it's okay," Pepper chimed in. "Just tell us and we'll deal with it."

"We can take it. We're all strong, capable people here. Okay, Pep here is, not so sure about the two of us, but I can assure you that she can deal with whatever it is for all of us."

Tony's babbling made Stephen choke on a laugh. Damn those two! Here he was, trying to feel sorry for himself, and they refused to let him. By the Vishanti, he loved them so much but not enough for…

"I can't," he began but didn't know how to continue.

"Can't what?" Tony interrupted. "Stay? Leave? Love us? Because let me tell you: You've been giving out some serious mixed signals lately."

Stephen winced at that. Yes, he was aware, thank you very much. But…

"Do you want to continue this or do you want to go back to the friendship we were enjoying before all of… this happened?"

Surprisingly, or maybe not, it was Pepper who cut through all the bullshit. She gestured at the three of them - huddled together in some great blanket and pillow fort, sharing wine and softly talking after dinner.

Typical couple stuff.

It had been obvious for while that the two of them were trying to lure him into a relationship and Stephen, love-struck idiot that he was, had followed the path laid out for him in the full knowledge that it all would eventually crash and burn.

Seemed like today was the day.

"I can't," he repeated dully. His tears had dried and icy resignation had taken hold of him. He wanted to explain, to try to salvage at least some of the potential between them, but he didn't have the words. Hell, he didn't even have the feelings necessary.

"Can't what?" Pepper prompted him with endless love and patience in her voice and eyes, putting her hands on both sides of his face. There was no escaping her gaze and Stephen didn't even want to.

"We can work through whatever it is," Tony reassured him and something in Stephen finally broke after all those decades of futile wishing and hoping.

"We really, really can't," was his eventual answer. This was a problem without a solution. He knew - he'd searched for one almost all his life. "I'm sorry." More than he could ever put into words.

He didn't move a muscle, soaking up Tony's embrace and Pepper's gentle hold. It might be the very last time, after all.

"I can't give you what you need," he finally confessed.

Pepper looked confused and judging by the sound Tony made he wasn't far behind his wife.

"And what's that?" she asked. "Friendship? Love? Affection? Those signals are actually pretty clear, you know?" She smiled.

"Because from where I'm sitting we're already getting plenty of that from you," Tony added. "We just want you to stay the night." He sounded confused and hurt.

Stephen closed his eyes to escape Pepper and let himself fall into Tony's embrace. "I can't give you sex," he finally confessed. Even before the accident - which had pretty much destroyed what little libido he once might have had - the most intimate thing between two living beings had not been very high on his list of priorities. It had barely made the list at all back then and by now it had vanished completely. "I'm…"

"Shh." Pepper shut him up with a finger to his lips. "We know. You're not into sex."

They did him the kindness of not saying the word and not forcing him to speak it out loud and Stephen could have wept in relief.

"Your complete lack of interest in that regard is kind of obvious," Tony added helpfully while Stephen wanted to sink through the floor and into the next dimension in mortification. "It took us a while to realize, I have to confess, but we know. Have done so for a while. Believe me, I wouldn't have kissed just your neck otherwise and Pepper would have done more than putting her head into your lap. We've been trying to figure out what you're comfortable with. So far cuddling and a kiss here or there seem to be pretty okay, judging by your reactions."

"More than okay," he confirmed in a whisper. It was pretty much all he'd ever wanted out of any hypothetical relationship of his.

"Do you even know what exactly you're comfortable with?" Pepper asked, direct as always, but he wouldn't want her any other way. Besides, it was way past time to talk about those things. "We don't want to hurt you by mistake. Please, tell us what you want and need."

"We just want to have you in our lives and make you as happy as you make us," Tony added softly, still holding on to him and now putting his chin on Stephen's shoulder. His breath made Stephen break out in goosebumps. "We love you, Stephen."

"I'm not a child," he snapped back, annoyed at himself and at them. "I know very well were my boundaries are." He'd been obsessing over them more than enough over the course of his life. "No need to treat me like I'm made out of glass."

"Good," was Tony's surprising answer to that. "Then maybe you find it in yourself to actually share them with us? You know, the two people who are very interested in you but by now deathly afraid of making a wrong move because you're a half-step forwards, giant leap backwards kind of guy? I love you but you're also driving me crazy."

"Finally he gets a taste of what I've been dealing with for years now," Pepper muttered at that, startling a laugh out of Stephen. "I'm not feeling sorry for you." She leaned forwards and over Stephen's shoulder to kiss her husband. "A taste of your own medicine serves you right." She drew back and looked at Stephen, the question clear.

"I love seeing you two kiss," he confessed. Actually, one of the things he wanted most was to see the two of them making love to each other. He simply had no desire to join them for it, except maybe the cuddling afterwards. That sounded nice.

Tony was still holding him as Pepper put a hand on his face. "What's your stance on kissing?"

Fuck. He somehow managed to swallow and answer. "Not a big fan of tongue," he whispered. To put it mildly.

To his surprise she smiled in delight at that. "So this is okay?" she asked and leaned in to press a quick kiss against his lips, moving back almost before he realized what happened.

Stephen licked his lips, tasting traces of some cocoa lip balm, and smiled back. "Very okay."

"You hear that, Tony? Kissing is a go. Come on, go for it. I've been dying to see you two kiss for ages now. You're so gorgeous together and I'm tired of only imagining it." She scooted back to give them space but grabbed Stephen's wrist along the way to keep in contact.

This must be a dream. No way this was really happening. Tony was letting go of him, more or less handing him over to Pepper and crouched in front of him with the most beautiful smile Stephen had ever seen on his face.

"Hi, sweetheart," he whispered, "time to do this properly." He leaned in and there was a moment of panic and fear that Tony might have misunderstood him, that…

"Oh," was his eloquent contribution when Tony pressed a very gentle kiss against his lips. There was no hint of tongue but it went on for far longer than Pepper's quick kiss-and-dash from a moment before. "This is nice." By now Tony had both of his hands to hold him in place and Pepper was a reassuring warmth at his back.

"See?" Tony said gently. "Communication is the key. I know, I know. Novel concept. Took me a while to truly get it as well. And, not to put any pressure on you, but can you please stay the night? We have a new, big, and lovely bed, perfect for three people, and it's been lonely with just the two of us. I can also personally guarantee enough hot water for the morning, no need to team up in the shower although I hope that I might get a glimpse of you in all your naked glory."

The implications of that stunned Stephen to the core and the damn tears threatened once again. Tony's teasing comments were harmless, nothing he and Stephen hadn't thrown around for weeks now, but the hint of how much thought he and Pepper had put into accommodating Stephen, how much they really wanted him in their lives and their bed…

"Yes," he said, throwing all caution into the wind. "I'll stay. For tonight," he added cautiously because he still couldn't quite believe that he'd gotten so lucky.

"Don't think that we'll let you go without a fight," Pepper promised him and her voice and breath in his ear made him shiver and break out in goosebumps. "You belong with us, never doubt that."

"So sensitive and so responsive," Tony murmured in delight as he traced the veins on Stephen's forearm. "Can't wait to discover what else you like."

"It's is going to be fun to figure it out together," Pepper agreed and cuddled Stephen from behind.

The realization that his boundaries were and would be continued to truly be respected and that they could discover all the ways in which they worked together was a slow and gentle one that still shook him down to the core.

"So much fun," he agreed with a smile and got another kiss, first from Pepper and then from Tony, in return for his agreement.