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Bakugo was acting off and Kirishima wasn’t the only one who could tell this time. Usually the blond was good at hiding his feelings behind anger that everyone chalked up to being his personality, but whatever was bothering him this time must’ve been bad.
Bakugo had been reacting worse than normal to people touching him, even Kirishima who is usually given a pass on physical touch. He’s also been snappier with everyone lately. As he and the rest of his friends matured into the hero workforce Bakugo’s personality calmed and he was seen as more grumpy than angry, but the attitude he was giving off recently reminded everyone a lot of first year UA Bakugo. The bags under his eyes were also a dead give away that something was bothering him seeing as his bed time of 8:30 to 9:00 hadn’t changed over the years.
Though the one thing that really raised red flags for Kirishima was that Bakugo had ignored him.
It was a Tuesday evening and the redhead and the blonde always got off of patrol at the same time those days so they typically went to the gym together. Or if they weren’t feeling up to it they’d go try a new restaurant to change things up. Today, Kirishima didn’t know what they were going to do because he hadn’t been able to talk to Bakugo all day, the blonde hadn’t been around much. Kirishima normally carried around a set of gym clothes regardless of the day so whatever option they chose didn’t really matter to him. Kirishima spotted Bakugo headed towards the changing room and followed after him.
“Hey dude, did you want to go to the gym tonight?”
Bakugo didn’t even respond, he kept his gaze forward and walked right past the other man. Kirishima felt like his heart was being squeezed. He assumed that their relationship had surpassed ignoring each other when they were aggravated about things. There had to be something very wrong and he was going to find out what.
Making his way into the changing room, Kirishima found the shorter man pulling his shirt over his head. The muscles rippling in Bakugo’s back at his actions stopped Kirishima for just a second before he refocused on what he was in here for. He walked closer to the blonde and placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to turn him around gently so they would face each other. Bakugo flinched so hard that he banged his elbow against his open locker door and hissed in pain.
“Woah,” Kirishima said, removing his hands from the other man and holding them up in surrender.
The glare that was sent his way confused Kirishima even more. What had he done to upset Bakugo recently? He couldn’t think of anything off the top of his head.
“Bro I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d flinch so hard. Are you ok?”
Bakugo quickly finished packing up the rest of his stuff and slammed his locker shut.
“Don’t touch me,” was all Bakugo said as he walked away from his stunned friend.
Kirishima’s heart felt like it was being squeezed again, a little tighter this time.
Kirishima left the matter alone for the night, assuming that any texts or calls to his friend would be ignored, but he made a mental note to try again tomorrow and hopefully have Bakugo open up to him so he could help like he desperately wanted to.
The next day came and went without any interaction between the two men which wasn’t too surprising because their patrol shifts were opposite of each other. What was surprising is that Kaminari, who had the same patrol shift as Kirishima, said that he had seen Bakugo about two or three times in the agency building near the end of their shift.
“I think,” Kirishima let out an exasperated sigh, “I think he’s mad at me.”
Kirishima felt defeated as he and Kaminari walked down the sidewalk towards the train station together.
Kaminari scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.
“What could you have possibly done to make him mad? You’re literally the person he likes the most.”
The redhead shrugged and continued to carry his gloomy attitude.
“I don’t know. I tried to talk to him about it yesterday but he blew me off and told me not to touch him.”
“That’s very un-blasty like.”
Kirishima just hummed in agreement, getting tired of the conversation. Thinking about Bakugo being mad at him was draining. The two men finally made it to their station and separated onto their respective trains.
The ride back home was filled with anxiety for Kirishima. He still had no clue what he did to make his best friend mad and he didn’t have a clue how to fix it either. He decided to send a lengthy text to Bakugo explaining this to which he only received a read receipt. Being left on read irked the redhead for the rest of the night and lulled him into an uneasy slumber.
Bakugo’s voice echoed around Kirishima’s head,
We were never friends
I don’t need you to hold me back
I could never love you
The last echo woke Kirishima, he grasped at his chest through his shirt and tried to even out his breathing. It wasn’t a secret that he had fallen fast for his best friend during high school. Well, it wasn’t a secret to himself. He buried any feeling that wasn’t platonic friendship so well that no one had any inkling he was infatuated by the aggressive blonde in more than a friendly way. He always told himself it was better that way. Pro hero’s hardly have time for themselves, let alone a romantic partner. Kirishima didn’t want to hold Bakugo back from working towards number one, and he also selfishly didn’t want to get his own heart broken when his counterpart either didn’t feel the same way back or couldn’t make time for love in his busy schedule. Kirishima rolled over to check the time on his phone and was disappointed that he had to be awake in 30’minutes and was also disappointed that he still hadn’t received any response for Bakugo. Pulling himself out of bed, he decided to start getting ready for the day and set his mind on cornering his best friend to squeeze the answers he needed out of him.
Kirishima didn’t get the chance to do that because, again, he didn’t see Bakugo at all that day. The blonde was ignoring him in real life and through text and it pissed Kirishima off. It pissed him off so much that after his shift ended at 10:30 pm he hopped on a train towards Bakugo’s parents house where he knew the other was probably asleep.
Bakugo might have been asleep, but his mom, Mitsuki, was not.
“Kirishima,” the older woman smiled, not seeming to care that it was late at night, “it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. The brat never brings anyone around anymore and he’s been moping like someone stole his limited edition all might figurine.”
Kirishima laughed a little at the last comment Mitsuki made. Bakugo would never admit it, but the redhead knew how much he liked the previous number one hero.
“Maybe having you around in the house again will do something good for him. Make him unmopey and get him to act like the chaos train he normally is.”
Kirishima nodded curtly and said thank you before walking up the stairs to Bakugo’s room. The route was familiar and Kirishima avoided every board he knew was a little creaky. When he finally stopped at the blondes door he hesitated. Doubt washed over him and a few waves of self loathing hit in a matter of seconds. The thought of Bakugo just not wanting to be his friend anymore lurked around the front of the redheads mind. Maybe he had even found out about the feelings Kirishima tried desperately to repress and couldn’t stand the thought of being around him anymore. This could be a mistake, talking to Bakugo about what was wrong with him. Maybe ignorance of not knowing why they’re relationship was falling apart was better than the heartache that he would endure if he knocked on the door in front of him. Though he didn’t really have much choice in that matter because the door flung open violently, hitting the wall due to the missing door stop.
Standing in a hoodie, that Kirishima was pretty sure was an old one of his, was Bakugo Katsuki in all of his aggravation that the other man had grown so fond of.
“You’re thinking is so fucking loud. What the hell do you want at almost midnight, Kirishima?”
The use of his first name and not any of the nicknames Bakugo had given him sunk Kirishima’s heart to his stomach. What happened between them?
Kirishima assumed that he had asked the question out loud because the look of anger on Bakugo’s face dropped in favor of hurt flashing across his eyes before promptly being replaced again by aggression. Bakugo stepped into the other’s space and Kirishima would never admit that the red creeping up his face was from their proximity rather than the fact that the blonde always radiates heat.
“I. Can’t. Do this. Right. Now.”
The words were gritted through a clenched jaw. Kirishima was actually afraid that Bakugo would break it if he kept applying that type of force on himself.
“Well we’re going to,” Kirishima said after he plucked up the courage to talk back.
“No.”
The single word answer was all Kirishima got back in response. And it made him mad.
“Fuck you Bakugo. You want our friendship to end over some little temper tantrum you’re throwing? Fine. Let 4 years of friendship go over something petty. See if I care.”
Kirishima turned to make his trek back down the hallway to the front door, already planning on how to apologize to Mitsuki for not cheering her son up. Bakugo’s hand gripping his forearm stopped him though and also spun him back around.
“We’re doing this outside.”
The fire was gone from Bakugo’s eyes when he spoke, replaced with emotions that teetered towards exhausted and scared.
They didn’t stop walking when they reached the front door and told Mitsuki they’d be back and they also didn’t stop when they reached the front gate of the house. Another thing that didn’t stop was Bakugo’s hold on Kirishima’s arm. It wasn’t rough like it typically was in training, the hold was more inviting and had Kirishima leaning into it even though he knew he would never get to do it again. The pair finally stopped at a bus stop a little ways from Bakugo’s house. Kirishima didn’t understand why they had gone so far but the bench seemed like a good place to get his heart broken. Sitting down and fixing his gaze on his hands folded in his lap, the redhead started talking because he knew the other would never initiate the conversation.
“What happened to us? Why are you pushing me away? We were fine a few days ago. What did I do?”
The questions came spilling out of Kirishima’s mouth. Not having the answers to them had been making his skin crawl.
“You didn’t do anything,” Bakugo said.
Kirishima whipped his head up to look at the other man to make sure he wasn’t hearing things wrong.
“I didn’t do anything? So what has been causing you to avoid me for days? Why have you been flinching away from me whenever I touch you?”
The anger was mounting in Kirishima’s voice.
“I don’t know.”
Contrasting to Kirishima, Bakugo started to talk quieter, keeping his voice barely above a whisper.
“You don’t know,” Kirishima stood up, “you don’t have an answer for me?”
Bakugo never cowered, but the volume and intensity of Kirishima’s voice mixed with him crowding into his personal space made Bakugo take a step back to try to catch his breath.
“This was a bad idea. I knew I couldn’t do this.”
“Do what?”
Kirishima grabbed Bakugo’s wrist. Despite his angry demeanor, the hold was gentle. Even subconsciously, Kirishima was making sure Bakugo didn’t get hurt.
“Talk to you, explain,” Bakugo said.
“Explain what?”
Kirishima was tired of running circles around what was happening and tried to pull Bakugo closer to himself. Maybe it was to try and coax more answers out of the shorter or maybe it was because he was so tired of being kept at arm's length for so many days. Either way, the action was met by Bakugo slamming his palms against Kirishima’s chest and trying to push himself away from the other’s space. At that point Kirishima was desperate and his voice portrayed it as well as his watery eyes.
“Why are you pushing me away? Why do you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” Bakugo said, his eyes also watery, “I could never hate you.”
“Then why!” Kirishima resorted back to yelling.
“Because I love you!”
Bakugo yelled too and paused, his chest heaving before he started to speak again. This time his voice dropped to a whisper.
“Because I love you and I have for years. And I don’t know why it hurts so much more now. And I don’t know why I want to touch you all the time, and make sure you’re safe, and cook dinner for you every night. And I-I don’t know why it’s so much more intense now but I can’t. I can’t force that on you Ei.”
“So you forced me away instead. Without even asking me how I felt?”
Kirishima’s tone was firm and eerily calm.
“I would rather lose you than hurt you Eijirou.”
The statement made Kirishima’s calm demeanor disappear.
“You did hurt me Katsuki! You hurt me a lot! You ignored me and didn’t tell me why and left me in the dark. I thought you hated me. Even if I wasn’t also in love with you how could you decide that pushing me away was the best thing for me.”
Hurt and anger dripped from Kirishima’s words which made Bakugo freeze.
“You don’t love me Kiri. You’re just trying to make me feel better. You can’t love me.”
At this point, Kirishima was sure the pair had switched personalities because the frustration that was bubbling inside him right now usually found its home in Bakugo, and the quiet somber look on Bakugo’s face usually rested on Kirishima’s.
“Stop deciding what I need and what I feel! I get to decide that, and I decided a long time ago that I wanted you to love me and now that you’re telling me that it’s possible you’re ripping it away from me. I’ve repressed my feelings for years and all of a sudden you get to confess yours and walk away from them? I don’t think that’s how this is going to work.”
“Well how do you want it to work huh? Tell me what you would do in my situation,” Bakugo asked.
Kirishima grabbed for Bakugo's hand for what felt like the umpteenth time that night and succeeded in pulling the shorter into his chest.
“I would make you mine,” is all Kirishima said before enveloping Bakugo in a crushing hug and nuzzling his face into the side of the blonde's neck.
It was a few seconds before Kirishima felt the man he was holding start to shake. Whether it was from Bakugo crying or being angry, he didn’t know, but he held onto the man between his arms even tighter.
“I love you, and always will. I want you to be mine,” Kirishima whispered.
Bakugo’s shaking died down a little before he spoke.
“I love you too but I’m scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“I’m scared,” Bakugo pulled himself away from Kirishima enough to look him in the eyes, “I’m scared of you getting hurt or this not working.”
Kirishima cupped Bakugo’s face and ran his thumb across his cheek to swipe away some of the tears.
“Those are risks I’m willing to take as long as it’s for you.”
Kirishima’s mouth quirked up a little as he continued to comfort the blonde. Bakugo cleared his throat and reached his hands up to scrub the tears away from his face.
“Ok. But I want to move at my pace. I don’t want to go too fast with any of this.”
“Anything for you princess,” Kirishima teased.
The glare Kirishima received in return put him at ease. He had his best friend back who is a little more than a best friend now.
“Don’t call me that,” Bakugo said as he held Kirishima’s hand and drug him back home.