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“You are a Philistine.”
“Does that mean I like Phils? Cuz yeah, I do.” Clint smiled at his boyfriend. He was still getting used to the word boyfriend, even when he said it in his head he smiled goofily.
Phil attempted a glower, but failed. “You know perfectly well what I mean.” He nodded his head towards Clint’s coffee mug. “That is barbaric coffee.”
Clint frowned into his oversized mug. “Whadda ya mean? S’just coffee.”
“That sludge is not coffee. That sludge is nothing like coffee.”
Clint shrugged and took another slurp. “Coffee’s coffee. Gets me going that’s what counts.”
Phil stared at Clint mouth slightly open in shock. “You… I… I don’t know you at all. How could you say that?”
“Phil, it’s just coffee.”
“No! Absolutely not. I refuse to be in a relationship with someone so uncultured in the ways of coffee.”
“HEY!” Clint looked up hurt.
“I refuse to kiss the lips that have just consumed whatever the hell that is.” Phil shuddered. “We are going to a cupping.”
Clint furrowed his brow. “A what?”
Phil whipped out his phone and hit one of his speed dials. “Matteo,” he said when the call was picked up, “I have an emergency. We have to do a cupping right away. I need your best. Columbian, Guatemalan, Blue Mountain, Sumatra…. Even, yes, break out the Kopi Luwak, this calls for the big guns…. No, this is important. My boyfriend,” Phil took a second to look at Clint and softly smile at the title. “He’s gorgeous, but clueless. He thinks coffee is fuel…. Eugh. I know right? Ok, we’ll be right over.”
Phil quit the call and turned to Clint. “What are you waiting for? Get dressed, we’ve got to go.”
Clint was still confused as to what was happening. “Go where?”
“To Java Passion, my Barista is going to explain coffee to you. You’ll taste the differences and then you’ll understand that swill is not coffee.” Phil turned to the bedroom to get dressed.
Clint looked over to his kitchen counter with it’s sad Mister Coffee and giant red plastic container.
“Aww Foldgers.”