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The soldiers of the Survey Corps had either seen too much or not enough. There was no in-between, because just one Titan attack would change the cockiest bastard into a war-weary soldier. That’s what happened to me, and that’s what happened to every other scout, too. With that sudden shift came night terrors, hallucinations, and shell shock. You’d be lucky to wake up and not be in a cold sweat after seeing, smelling, and hearing what I and so many others have. It plagued you, haunting your dreams, your thoughts, your life. And often, you couldn’t escape.
But sometimes, when you were safe…
You could forget.
Lazy mornings would help me forget. The memories that weighed on my conscience would slip away, melting into the seams of what I understood as I snuggled under the covers. The warm morning light cascading over my face would remind me of where I was and nothing else. A warm body next to me would let me know that I am loved. And I was alive, carefree even, for however long we were nestled beneath those blankets.
This was one of those mornings. A particularly nasty dream roused me, yanking me from my sleep like a fish caught on a line. It was shocking and sent my senses into overdrive, making me gasp for air as my eyes shot open. And then I realized. I wasn’t in danger, not at that moment. And I wouldn’t be, not for a while.
My fear subsided quickly, dissolving into a low hum of adrenaline that was guaranteed to keep me awake. The air was chilly and there was a slight draft in the room, probably from small gaps in the old walls. I yanked the covers up and over my shoulders and shifted to my side to keep out the cool air. I was faced by the man sleeping beside me, causing me to lose interest in my slightly cold shoulders. His sleeping face was a look of pure peace, something I would never see grace his features otherwise. Always worried about something or another, always stern and expressionless; that was the way Levi went about his everyday life. And while I knew he wasn’t actually an uncaring bastard, mornings like these proved his humanity, and made me love him even more.
I rarely woke up before Levi. He was an insomniac and usually only stayed asleep for about three hours. It was a blessing whenever he slept until after sunrise. He was also a lot more tolerant of everyone and everything when he slept for a healthy amount of time. That meant less stress for him and more sleep the next night. That cycle might continue for a couple days or maybe even a week, and I’d love to just see him well-rested and calm. But mostly, my favorite thing was waking him up when he slept in.
Today, Erwin had planned a meeting with Premiere Zackly about funding for the Regiment, and then Hange scheduled a training session for our three respective squads. As much as I didn’t want to wake Levi, I knew I had to. I glanced outside to get a feel for the general time. The sun was already ascending into the sky and the rays danced across his skin in time with a wind-blown tree that stood outside our window. A small smile played on my lips as I brushed some stray locks of hair away from his eyes, which were still closed. My fingers wandered to the back of his head as I scratched the short hair of his undercut. He let out a soft, unconscious groan at the touch.
Surprisingly, Levi craved physical affection, just not in public. But, when we were alone and in bed, he was usually touching me in some way. Whether it was just resting his foot against my leg, or cradling me close to his chest, there was almost always contact. While I wasn’t complaining, I quickly realized this was because of a lack of affection in his childhood. Much like with his obsessive cleaning stemming from growing up in dirt and squalor, he needed affection to make up for what he didn’t have in the Underground. And I was always happy to provide it.
I peeled back the comforter a bit to expose Levi’s shoulders and back, marred by bruises and areas rubbed raw from his frequent use of the ODM Gear. I leaned over and pressed kisses along the strap indents. We both loved when the other would pay specific attention to these areas, and it was how Levi usually woke me up. I was just returning the favor. As I continued my affectionate assault on his purple and red skin, his breathing began to quicken, and I could tell he was waking up.
“Hey, baby.” I whispered into his ear and pressed a kiss to his temple. He groaned again and I felt his hand come up to stroke the small of my back. “I can’t believe you slept so long. I almost didn’t wake you, but Erwin planned that meeting at noon.”
Levi’s eyes opened slowly and met mine, his icy grey irises cutting me to my very core. He closed them again and tugged my body closer to him, nestling his head into the crook of my neck.
“Damn Titan-sized bastard…” He spoke lowly, his voice sending vibrations through my chest. I giggled at the sensation and brought a hand up to rub the back of his head again. Levi sighed in contentment before he pulled away and looked me in the eye. “Did you sleep well?”
“As well as I ever do, I guess. I can’t stop seeing last month’s expedition in my dreams, but that always seems to happen.” My voice shook as my thoughts suddenly ventured to that shit-show. It was the highest amount of casualties we’d had that year. There was a sudden fog bank, which separated my squad from the rest of the Regiment. We-
“(Y/N).” Levi’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. His hand was resting on my cheek as I met his eyes again. He still looked stern, but there was a specific sense of concern lacing his features. “Don’t think about that right now. There was nothing you could do.”
I let out a quick, huffing chuckle as I leaned my forehead against his. “I’ll never understand how you do that.”
“Do what?”
“Read my thoughts.”
The tiniest smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. “It’s cute that you think it’s hard. You have an expressive face.”
I rolled my eyes at Levi’s teasing and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. They were usually chapped and rough, but I had been making him put on a salve before he went to bed to save his perfectly kissable lips. They were nice and soft against mine, now, as he deepened the kiss. Without breaking our connection, I flipped Levi onto his back and straddled his waist, cupping his face in my hands as my tongue broke through his slightly parted lips. He moaned softly and grasped my waist. I felt his lips quirk up in a smirk against mine and savored the moment with him, knowing I wouldn’t get to touch him like this for almost twelve hours.
I reluctantly pulled away from our make-out session and listened to Levi’s heavy breathing. My eyes slowly opened, though I didn’t realize I had closed them in the first place. Levi’s eyes were still closed and there was a deep blush on his usually pale cheeks. I smiled, knowing I was the only one who could do that to him. I rolled off of him and laid against his side, resting my ear against his chest to listen to his thumping heartbeat.
“Levi?” I raised my head to look him in the eye. He was still blushing.
“Mmm?”
“You’re blushing. I made you blush, Captain.” I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.
His blush deepened (if that was even possible) and he averted his eyes from my face. “Tch, shut up. I could make you blush.”
I raised my eyebrows in faux surprise. “Could you now? I don’t blush at much, you know.” Of course he could make me blush, but I was just having fun messing with him.
In a flash, he was straddling me and leaning down to trail his tongue along my collarbone. The sensation sent sparks to my stomach. But, instead of my face heating up, I just felt the need to laugh.
“Levi! You’re just tickling me!” I cackled as he continued his assault. He grunted against my skin and he suddenly switched to sucking and biting at different parts of my neck. And that did make me blush, but also sent waves of panic through me. Before he could do too much damage, I shoved him off of me and leapt off the bed, running to the bathroom.
“(Y/N)?” I heard Levi call from the bedroom as he followed after me. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”
I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my neck. It already was becoming mottled with purple bruises. Groaning, I dropped my head against the glass. Levi put a hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him.
“You got fucking marks on my neck, you bastard.” I leaned into him and buried my face in the crook of his neck. “I can’t hide this shit, you know that! And we have to see so many people today. You’re the worst.” I mumbled into his skin.
His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close. I expected an apology to grace those dastardly lips and I awaited it eagerly.
“I still made you blush.”
“Oh, you fucker.”
I wasn’t the only one with a marks on my neck after that comment.