Chapter Text
It's Sunday, nearing dinner, and Stan and Kyle are hanging out in Kyle’s bedroom. Kyle is at the desk, humming a song out-of-tune as he draws flowers in the margins of his biology notebook, while Stan is laying on the bed with his arms over his eyes.
It's this Sunday evening, the boys having just finished their homework, that Stan comes to a realization. He isn't one to keep secrets, so he decides to speak up.
“Dude, I think I have to break up with Wendy.”
Kyle stops drawing, fingers twitching slightly as he spins his desk chair around. “What for? Didn't you guys, like, just get back together?”
Stan nods, pushing himself up to a sitting position. “Yeah, just. I think I'm gay, and, um, I don't want to drag the relationship on if I don't feel anything for her. You know?”
“Oh,” Kyle breathes. “Yeah, yeah, dude. I get it. Congrats on figuring that out, I think?”
Stan laughs.
“Thanks, man. Anyway, do you think I should break up with her tomorrow or wait for Friday so she has the whole weekend to, like, grieve our relationship?”
Kyle shrugs, turning back around to continue his doodles. “I dunno. Maybe tomorrow would be best, ‘cause you don't wanna drag it on, right?”
“Good point.”
“You decide if anyone in our class is attractive yet?”
“Nah, man,” Stan says, “I've only known I'm gay for like half an hour.”
“Oh, dang. You really love me, huh? Telling me right away–really shows how much you trust me.”
“Ew, don't get all serious on me.”
Kyle laughs, shakes his head, and taps his pencil on the desk. “Let me be serious. It's nice to know you trust me. Thank you for telling me, Stan.”
Stan is silent for a minute.
“You know, Clyde is kinda cute. He's a dumbass, totally my type.”
Kyle blinks, once, twice.
“What the fuck. That is so not your type. You're into pretty smartasses.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Wendy. Even if she isn't a guy, she's still your type. Aside from the whole, uh, likes to break up with you think. You're not a masochist. I hope.”
“That's true. So like, Craig? He's pretty. He has a really nice nose.”
Kyle snorts. “Actually, yeah. No, yeah, that totally works, dude. I could see it. But he's into twitchy blonds. Sucks to be you. Pine forever, you poor boy.”
Stan hums, looking at the ground with pursed lips. “Okay, what about . . . Jimmy? I mean, he's not the most attractive, sure, but he could totally break my heart. I would love it.”
“No, oh my god, don't fall for Jimmy, don't be a masochist.”
Stan rolls his eyes, grinning. “Token? I mean, not a smartass, but he's definitely attractive. Like, really attractive.”
Kyle bites his lip, thinking. He nods slowly, turning to look at Stan again. “Yeah, totally! I could see it, you guys would be cute.”
“We so would. Problem is I'm not into him. What about Kenny?”
“Kenny?” Kyle asks, startled. He frowns and twirls his pencil. “You know, that might actually work. He's bisexual, and he flirts with you all the time. He'd be into it.”
“What?” Stan's eyes are wide. “He flirts with me? Really? I didn't–are you sure?”
Kyle raises an eyebrow. “Wait, are you like, for real into him? Dude!”
“Wh–no, hey, listen. You–” Stan scrambles for words, falling back onto the bed. “You only said that to get a reaction out of me! That's, like, cheating!”
“You can't cheat a conversation, asswipe.”
“Okay, well,” Stan huffs, crossing his arms self-consciously.
Kyle shuts his notebook with a plap and tosses his pencil into a cup. He turns to Stan once again. “Dude. We gotta talk about this.”
“No, we don't.”
“Kenny totally likes you back.”
“Shut! Up!” Stan jumps to his feet. “I'm leaving. You're–no. I'm–I’m leaving!”
“Don't be a pussy! You guys would make a great couple. I would totally be your best man.”
“WE’RE FOURTEEN?” Stan says, bewildered and only slightly panicking.
Kyle grins and continues to make jokes about a future wedding between his best friends.
Despite his flustered comments, Stan does not , in fact, leave.
• • •
Stan breaks up with Wendy the next day just before homeroom. She ends up skipping school for the day, without a word to anyone.
Stan spends the morning stuck in his head, thinking back on what Kyle was saying the night before. He quickly comes to the realization that Kenny does flirt with him. Often.
So he lets himself wonder what it would be like to date Kenny. He catches himself grinning, thinking how fun it would be to go on a date. He doesn't have a job yet, but he has an allowance and Kenny still works under-the-table at City Wok.
Stan thinks he would be happy even with just the occasional McDonald’s date. He'd pay for Kenny's meal, and Kenny would pay for his. Maybe they'd hold hands on the walk home, and Kenny would kiss him goodbye at the door, and Stan would tell him to be safe on the walk home, and Kenny would say something about bear mace.
“Stanley,” Kyle says, waves a hand in front of his distracted best friend’s face at lunch.
Stan blinks out of his daydream. “What?”
“Whatcha thinkin' about?”
Stan stutters out a string of random vowels, his stomach feeling uncomfortably warm through his embarrassment.
Kyle grins, but he doesn't say a word when Cartman and Butters sit down across the table, Kenny not far behind. Kyle “zips” his lips shut, instead picking at the slimy lettuce on his tray.
Stan pouts, crossing his arms in a petulant manner.
“What's wrong, hippie?” Cartman jokes, “Crying ‘cause your girlfriend left you?”
Stan rolls his eyes. “She didn't leave me, asshole, I broke up with her.”
“Well, why'd you go and do that, Stan?” Butters asks, ignoring his meal in favor of conversing with the boys.
Stan thinks Butters is a gossip, always telling his friends about the latest drama. It's usually something interesting though, so Stan doesn't really care.
“I'm gay, so I didn't wanna drag it on and hurt her more.”
The nearest tables silence at once, and Stan feels eyes on him as he pulls apart a chicken tender with all the casualness he can muster up. His friends look so shocked, even Cartman doesn't joke about it.
Kyle is the only one who doesn't seem to care, instead reaching out to snatch an apple slice from Butters’ tray.
Stan looks up from his food, frowning at all the eyes focused on him. “What?”
“You're gay?” Kenny asks.
Stan shrugs. “Yeah. What about it?” He says this like he doesn't give a fuck, but his hands are shaking and his breath is shallow. He didn't–he didn't necessarily plan on telling everyone? Not right then, at least, but whatever. It works, and it gets the news out without him having to deal with it too much.
He still has to tell his parents though.
Whatever, that's a problem for another time.
He hears whispers at the next table, and suddenly more and more eyes are turning towards him.
Kenny hums, “Well, I'm glad you told us! I can't say I expected it, seeing how many years you were with Wendy, but I'm happy for you.”
Stan laughs nervously, ducking his head to hide his smile. “Thanks.”
All eyes on him, this doesn't go unnoticed.