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Hajime Hinata had no pillows.
It was something he’d noticed immediately upon entering his cottage and looking around at the bare structures of the room; his bed was uncomfortably bare. At first, he’d thought it was that way for everyone, but a peek into his neighbours’ cottages had proven this to be false.
He wasn’t really one to bring up his discomfort, so he’d snagged a blanket from a storage room. He wasn’t sure if Usami was aware of this and did it on purpose or had accidentally neglected his cottage specifically.
Either way, he wasn’t sleeping well at all.
The first few days had been filled with sleepless nights. He was unhappy with how much him sleeping well had apparently been pinned onto the comfort of his head resting on a stupid pile of fluff. He didn’t want to stay with Nagito or ask him for help out of stubbornness, so here he was. His third night on the field trip and he felt like falling over from exhaustion. He was staring aimlessly out of the window and blinking slowly, half-heartedly thinking about whether to take up Akane on her offer of using her chest as a pillow when there was a knock at the door.
He turned in a stupor. It was late, way too late for someone to be bothering him for something. He shuffled over to the door and opened it blearily, tilting his head in surprise and confusion when he saw who was there.
It was Komaeda, standing with a nervous smile on his face.
“Hey, Hajime,” he said, pausing as he looked him over, face screwing up with concern. “You don’t look too well…” Hajime raised his eyebrows, silently asking why he was here and ignoring his worrying. Nagito shrugged, the expression not leaving his face. “I just came over to give you another book I think you might like. But I understand if you don’t want it, you probably won’t like it! Scum like me will never be able to properly predict an ultimates’ interests! Even if I know them pretty well!”
Hajime sighed, taking the book from his hand, which seemingly surprised him. He turned and walked over to his shelf, expecting Nagito to stay standing at his door. He had given him a few books, and Hajime could admit the covers looked interesting. He hadn’t actually gotten around to reading them, something that he didn’t particularly want Nagito to know quite yet. He’d tried once or twice when he and Nagito had gone out together, but he was unable to focus on the words. He preferred to talk to Nagito, or just look at him. He’d read them eventually… maybe.
Hajime turned around to find Nagito in his cottage. He was looking around with interest, somehow finding interesting things to take in in Hajime’s bare-bones room. He was fidgeting with his hands nervously. Hajime supposed it was because he hadn’t been in his cottage yet.
“I like how you’ve decorated. It’s very… you.” He said, scuffing his shoe on the floor.
“I… didn’t decorate anything.”
“Uh, exactly! You’re a pretty simple guy,” he paused, holding his hands up as he realised what he’d said. “I don’t mean it in a bad way! You just are kind of a plain person? Ah… I messed up.” Hajime smiled fondly, walking past Nagito to close the door before returning and engulfing him in a hug. Nagito seemed surprised but wrapped his arms around Hajime after a moment. Hajime melted into the embrace, almost content to sleep right there on his shoulder. After a while of Hajime struggling to gather the motivation to pull his face out of Nagito’s jacket and talk to him, there was a hand stroking his hair gently.
“You haven’t been sleeping, have you love?” He asked softly. Hajime hummed into his shoulder in response. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Didn’t wanna worry you,” Hajime mumbled, which was met with a sigh.
“Come on, let’s sleep,” he said, pulling back to meet his eyes. Hajime whined. “We both know you somehow sleep better when I’m there. Even if I kick you and sometimes wake you up with my nightmares. I don’t know how you stand me-”
“Shut up…” Hajime said, putting his hand over Nagito’s mouth, which he licked almost instantly. “Ew. You’re so gross.” Nagito laughed as Hajime wiped his hand on his shirt, rolling his eyes with a small smile on his face.
“Let’s go,” Nagito said, grabbing Hajime’s hand and going to drag him over to the bed. Hajime stood firm, staring at his shelf while Nagito tugged on his hand. “Hajimeeeee-”
“Can you read to me?” He blurted out, interrupting Nagito from dragging out his name. He instantly screwed up his face. “Sorry, that was weird.”
“No, that’s not weird!” Nagito reassured him, walking back over to Hajime and turning him around so he was facing the shelf properly. “I’d noticed you weren’t really getting through them, I thought you hated them! But if you really are interested in something I gave you and it’d help you relax then of course I will.” He wrapped his arms around Hajime from behind, squeezing them together as Hajime leaned into the embrace.
“Ah… I was hoping you didn’t notice.” Hajime murmured, putting his hands over Nagito’s. Nagito chuckled, resting his chin on Hajime’s shoulder.
“Pick any one, honey.” Hajime sighed, feeling the familiar butterflies he felt whenever Nagito called him a pet name. He pulled out a few different books, glancing over them and making small noises of concentration. Eventually, he stopped on one that looked interesting enough and gave it to Nagito, who finally managed to drag him to his bed, sitting him down on the edge of it and putting the book on his bedside table. It was at that point he seemingly finally noticed the lack of comfort on the mattress.
“Um, Hajime?”
“Mm?” Hajime rubbed his eyes.
“Where are your pillows?” Nagito looked around, concerned. “Did you eat them?”
“W-what??” Hajime exclaimed in disbelief, starting to laugh as Nagito frantically looked around his room. After looking through his closet and finding nothing, he returned to Hajime, standing in front of him with his hands on his hips.
“Is this why you haven’t been sleeping?” Hajime shrugged in response, which made Nagito sigh. “I’ll be back,” he said, moving to go out the door. Hajime grabbed his hand.
“Don’t go,” he said, eyes pleading. Nagito sighed and walked back in front of him, putting his hands on either side of Hajime’s face.
“You could have just told me, dumbass,” he looked down at Hajime, who scowled.
“That’s not a nice nickname,” he complained, trying to bat away Nagito’s hands from where they stayed planted on his face.
“Alright, idiot.”
“Hey.”
“Smelly.”
“Stop it.”
“Bitch.”
“You’re mean.”
“Sweetheart.”
“Okay-”
“Honey.”
“You can stop now-”
“Love of my life.”
“Oh-”
“Teddy bear,” Nagito accentuated the last one with a kiss on the forehead. Pressing their heads together and grinning while Hajime tried to fight his smile, face flushing. “Got you,” he whispered, thumbs brushing along his cheekbones gently.
“You suck,” Hajime stated, a small smile on his face.
“I know,” Nagito said, planting a small peck on Hajime’s lips before pulling back and bending down. Hajime rolled his eyes as he began taking off their shoes.
“I can do it myself, honey. I’m not a child.” Nagito looked up, smiling his stupid perfect smile.
“I know, but you’re also flustered and tired right now.”
“One of those was entirely your fault,” Hajime huffed, crossing his arms and kicking Nagito lightly when his foot was free. Nagito gave his foot a reprimanding pat and then took off his other shoe. Once done, he stood up and reached for Hajime’s tie. Hajime batted his hands away and stood up, poking him on the arm. “I’m not letting you undress me.”
“Aw… You’re no fun,” Nagito complained. “Next time?”
“Shut up.”
After getting changed into his pyjamas (and making sure Nagito wouldn’t come up and try anything while he did so) and brushing his teeth, Hajime returned to see Nagito sitting up against the wall on his bed, legs outstretched. Hajime walked over and instantly flopped next to him, resting his head on his shoulder.
“Do I need to pull the cheesy yawn thing?” Nagito asked, making Hajime laugh and pull his arm around his shoulders.
“You’re dumb.”
“You’re pretty,” Nagito replied in a dreamy voice, making Hajime reach up and flick him on the cheek. “Ow.”
“Just read, idiot.”
“Now who’s being mean?” Nagito teased but complied anyway. As soon as he began speaking, Hajime zoned out. He barely heard the first sentence before he was paying more attention to the rising and falling of his voice. He caught a few words here and there, but not enough to piece together the overall story. Hajime was more content to just watch him talk.
He spoke in very passionate tones, eyes flaring along with his words and face dramatically acting out what was going on. The hand that was around Hajime’s shoulders was moving along with his words; Hajime caught it and tangled their fingers together. Nagito continued, more focused on reading than anything else. Hajime started fiddling with his hand, tapping the digits one by one and comparing the size of each to his own hands. He often found himself fiddling with his hands, he wasn’t sure what it was that drew him to them, but he had decided that Nagito’s hands were perfect. They were a decent amount longer than Hajime’s, and thinner too. The bones stuck out, but it wasn’t unattractive. The bony feel quite suited the rest of him somehow. Hajime’s hands were pudgier in comparison, and wider. Nagito had said he liked it when Hajime held his face in his hands because they ‘felt like big bear paws’.
Hajime found himself staring absentmindedly at his face, tracing his eyes over the familiar features. His long eyelashes that had always seemed too perfect, fluffy, all-over-the-place hair that Hajime loved to run his hands through, thin eyebrows that were always overly expressive, beautiful grey eyes that were staring right back at him-
Hajime snapped out of his lovestruck stupor, quickly realising that Nagito had gotten to the end of the first chapter and was looking to him for his input. He blinked at him, a guilty smile creeping onto his face.
“Hi.”
“Hello, sweetheart,” Nagito said, putting the book down and gently cupping Hajime’s cheek. “Can you repeat any of the words I just spent a long time lovingly reading out to you?” Hajime flushed.
“Um…”
“That’s what I thought.”
“You said backyard once?” Hajime said hopefully, and Nagito simply sighed and kissed his forehead.
“You’re so lucky I love you,” He said in a serious tone. Hajime screwed up his face.
“You’re the lucky one here!” He paused, before begrudgingly adding “I love you too.”
“Can we sleep yet?” Nagito asked, thumb brushing over his cheek.
“Mm… No,” Nagito stuck his tongue out. “Oh, mature!” There was a pause as they glared at each other, and then Nagito burst out laughing. Hajime couldn’t help but giggle along as he was dislodged from his spot leaning on his shoulder. Nagito didn’t laugh genuinely much except around him, and it was a sound Hajime would never get tired of. After the laughter died down, he sighed. “I am sorry for not listening though. I was trying! I’m just…”
“Illiterate?”
“What?? No! Well, yes but- no!” This sent Nagito off into another fit of giggles, Hajime frowning at him but unable to keep a small smile from his lips.
“You’re exhausted, I know.”
“Can you keep reading?” Nagito tilted his head in confusion.
“But you weren’t even listening? Not that I blame you, I’m not very fun to listen to-”
“Yes, you are! That’s why I want you to continue,” Hajime insisted, poking Nagito on the cheek. “I like hearing you talk, it’s calming.”
“You’re funny,” Nagito said, a fond smile on his face.
“Why!?”
“I dunno. You just are.” Frustrated with that response, Hajime thwacked Nagito’s cheek gently with the back of his hand. Nagito simply grinned at him. “Come on, put your head on my lap. I’ll keep going.” Hajime did as asked, curling up with his head resting on Nagito’s lap. A hand was instantly stroking his hair, which made him hum appreciatively and snuggle down.
This time, with no boyfriend to stare at, Hajime closed his eyes and tried to pay more attention this time. He caught every few words or so, but the hand in his hair was slowly lulling him closer and closer to sleep.
By the time Nagito had finished the next chapter, Hajime was half asleep. He heard him sigh and put the book on his bedside, now running both his hands through his hair. He stirred, mumbling quietly about how gentle Nagito’s hands were. Nagito chuckled.
“Hi, honey,” He murmured, still carding his fingers through Hajime’s hair. His touch made Hajime feel safe, the warm legs under his head comforting him. “If you want to sleep, you can.” The urge was strong in Hajime’s mind before he thought more about it, shaking his head and pulling himself up.
“No, no…” Hajime rubbed his eyes, looking at Nagito as he sat up. “If I sleep there, then you’ll be uncomfortable.”
“Ah, but isn’t it better a lowlife like me suffer so you can be happy?” Hajime sighed, pushing aside Nagito’s hands from where he was clutching his chest and settling on his lap, facing him. They both instinctively wrapped their arms around each other, Hajime resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Nagito hummed happily.
“Hajime,” Nagito began after a while of them both enjoying the closeness.
“What’s up, buttercup?” Hajime said, cringing when he realised the unintentional rhyme. It made Nagito laugh before he continued, so Hajime counted it as worth the embarrassment.
“When we first met, I was scared to even befriend you,”
“You were?”
“Well, you know what usually happens to people I get close to…” Hajime squeezed himself closer in the hopes it might provide some comfort. “I just really, really didn’t want it happening again. But I felt drawn to you, in a way. Our fates were intertwined, and I knew the way to get you to achieve your greatest hope would be spending time with you.”
“You do make me happy,” Hajime breathed out.
“So yes, I was scared to even befriend you, let alone fall in love with you.” Hajime pulled back out of the embrace to look at Nagito’s face. “But I think… My luck is turning around. I have the best thing in the world right now, and so far… Nothing’s gone wrong.” Hajime brought his hands up to cradle Nagito’s face. “But who knows, I am nothing more than my mediocre talent after all! It probably will come and ruin what I’ve got yet again, an-” He was cut off as Hajime pressed a kiss onto his lips, lingering for a moment. He pulled back and met Nagito’s eyes.
“Nothing the universe does can, or will, tear us apart,” he said fiercely, holding Nagito’s face and pressing their foreheads together. “I love you, Nagito. And nothing is going to change that… I’m sorry I don’t have the right words to say it sometimes.” Nagito smiled as Hajime pulled back, leaning into one of the hands on his face before placing a soft kiss on Hajime’s palm.
“You’re a dork,” he said simply, making Hajime sigh through a smile.
“So are you, idiot.”
They spent a while simply staring into each other’s eyes tenderly. A while of heart eyes that was interrupted by Hajime’s eyelids drooping. They both laughed as he leant forward to rest his forehead against Nagito’s again.
“Do you want to cuddle, my teddy bear?” Nagito asked, voice full of a sweetness that made Hajime groan and roll his eyes, cheeks flushing. He pouted grumpily at him before conceding.
“Yes, please…” Nagito pushed him off of his lap and took off his jacket, handing it to him.
“Put it on,” he instructed, continuing when Hajime sleepily tilted his head. “I know you sleep better with it.”
“But won’t you be cold?”
“Of course not, I’ve got my teddy bear to keep me warm,” Nagito grinned as Hajime got flustered from the pet name again. He put it on as Nagito got up. “May I use your bathroom, sweetheart?”
“You don’t need to ask, dumbass. Just don’t snoop around or anything,” Hajime said, yawning and pulling his blankets up. He curled up under them, cozy in his boyfriend’s jacket. After a little while of waiting, Hajime felt the bed shift as Nagito crawled in behind him, pulling Hajime close to him. “Did you wash your hands?” He asked quietly, already snuggling back into his boyfriend’s arms.
Rather than answer, Nagito shoved his hands into the direction of Hajime’s nose. “Smell,” he commanded, and when Hajime sniffed he indeed smelt the familiar scent of his soap. “I can’t believe I got to use the same bathroom that someone as incredible as you uses! I’m truly privileged and spoilt-”
“Shut up and hold me,” Hajime interrupted. Nagito complied immediately, tangling their legs together and squeezing him close. He pressed a kiss into the back of Hajime’s neck, murmuring something. Pushing down his giddy grin from the affection, Hajime decided to inquire. “What are you saying?” Nagito cleared his throat as if what he was going to say next would be very important.
“Dick hard in the butt, tiddy in my hand, kiss ya neck, hell yeah,” he explained simply, starting to shake with laughter to Hajime’s shocked silence, groping at his chest to fulfil the statement.
“I’ve changed my mind, leave right now,” Hajime said, pulling Nagito’s arms tighter around him just in case he took his words seriously.
“Sorry, love,” Nagito laughed, kissing his neck again. “Something Kazuichi taught me.” Hajime sighed, smiling.
They laid there in silence for a moment, both of them basking in holding someone and being held. Hajime felt safe and comfortable enough to actually drift off, his boyfriend’s arms around him making him feel safe, no matter how uncomfortable his neck was. He felt the usual giddiness he had around Nagito wash over him, and he smiled to himself.
Every single touch and word they exchanged felt like it was meant to happen; like they were meant for each other. Hajime didn’t really believe in soulmates, but reflecting on what they had, he understood what people meant when they said they’d ‘found their soulmate’. Whenever he was around Nagito, everything felt so right no matter what they were doing. He couldn’t imagine a world without him now that he was in it.
“I love you,” Hajime said simply, unable to properly express his feelings. Nagito kissed his hair and squeezed him even closer.
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
And so they drifted off, Hajime finally getting the rest he needed in the loving arms of his boyfriend, even without his pillows.