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The calendar on the wall says it’s October 20th.
Funnily enough, the same date is on Ango’s birth certificate, on his ID, and just about every piece of identification he owns.
October 20th is his birthday, yet to Ango, it’s just another day.
Even growing up, it was just another day. He never bothered to celebrate it. His parents were much too busy to do something like that, the most he’d get was maybe a card and grocery money.
Sakaguchi never really had any friends growing up, even now it’s still a factual statement.
Ango lost contact with his parents and older brother years ago, when he first moved out and applied for an internship at the Special Division.
He has no doubt that they were just too busy to think about him.
So for about as long as Ango has remembered, it’s just been him drifting through life, without help or guidance.
Still, even then, there was a time when Ango had friends.
Ango readjusts his glanced haphazardly as he stirred his coffee, his free hand drumming softly against the coffee shop table.
“Ango, you’re finally here,” said a ginger man sitting at the bar, giving a wave to Ango from the door.
“It’s nice to see you, Odasaku,” Ango had replied simply, shrugging off his jacket and going to take a seat beside Odasaku at the bar.
Dazai peaked out from behind Odasaku, giving a friendly wave and a smile to Ango.
He seemed unusually happy today.
“Happy birthday, Ango!” Dazai greeted.
Ango stopped dead, glancing at Dazai with confusion before beginning to fumble for his wallet, pulling out his wallet for confirmation.
The date stared back at him in confirmation as Ango then glanced to his phone.
October 20th.
“Oh, I guess it is my birthday,” Sakaguchi confirmed softly.
“Did you forget?” Dazai questioned, raising a brow as Ango put away his stuff.
“Something like that,” replied Ango as the bartender passed him his usual drink.
“You don’t usually celebrate your birthday, so you don’t keep track of it,” Odasaku piped up, offering his deduction out to the group.
“Really?” Dazai replied, glancing back at Odasaku with shock.
Ango gave a nervous smile as he nodded.
“Yes, that’s the case.”
“Well, regardless,” Odasaku said with a sigh, reaching down and pulling out a gift bag as he set it on the bar beside Ango, “Happy birthday. As your friends and arguably your only family, we have to celebrate.”
Sakaguchi glanced over the gift bag before taking it into his hands.
“You didn’t have to do this.”
“I wanted to.”
“Open it, open it!” Dazai demanded excitedly.
Ango smiles and shakes his head in half disapproval before opening the bag and taking out it’s contents. Wrapped in tissue paper was a neatly crocheted coffee brown sweater. Ango ran his hands over the sweater, his ability triggering against his will.
“You handmade this,” Ango stated simply, looking up at Odasaku in disbelief as he nodded.
“Yes,” he confirmed, “Dazai suggested a few months ago I take up crocheting instead of picking at my skin. I’ve been making scarves mostly, and decided to try out a sweater for your birthday. Dazai picked out the yarn.”
Dazai gave a soft laugh from behind Odasaku, leaning into his shoulder.
“You look shocked,” Odasaku commented.
Ango couldn’t help the disbelief on his face, his brows furrowed together as he ran his fingers over the soft yarn over and over again.
“... You spent a whole month doing this… For me?”
“And I’d do it again,” answered the ginger.
There’s another kind smile on Odasaku’s face, it’s one that Ango knows is nothing but genuine.
Odasaku’s kindness washes over him, and it’s not long before Ango finds himself rubbing at his eyes from underneath his glasses.
“Oh, don’t cry!” Dazai replied, sliding off of the bar stool as he made his way over to Ango, throwing his arms around the other man as Odasaku took off Ango’s glasses, setting them on the bartop before moving in to hug Ango too.
“You should’ve expected this, we’re your friends,” Dazai said softly, nuzzling into Ango’s shoulder.
“I know… I know,” Ango replied.
A half laugh, half sob escapes Ango.
“I can’t see.”
It’s been four or five years now.
Ango’s boss has insisted he take the day off, though Ango is fairly certain it’s only because his coworkers pestered his boss to death.
Even now, it feels inappropriate to celebrate his own birthday.
No matter how many good memories of Dazai and Oda Ango has, the fact remains that he betrayed them, and now Odasaku is a dead man.
Ango’s sweater is left unbuttoned against his usual white button up, a hot cup of coffee in his hands as he walks through the graveyard with ease.
He sits down on his knees in front of the grave underneath the tree, reading over the engravings on the gravestone over and over as he’s done time and time again.
It’s not nearly as good as spending time with Odasaku when he was alive, Ango realizes this. Nothing could ever match the energy of having a conversation with Odasaku, but sitting by his grave is adequate.
If he thinks about enough, he can feel the kindness and warmth Odasaku had once shared with him.
“Visiting a grave on your birthday? Really, Ango?”
Ango’s head snaps behind him, to see Dazai standing in the cold hair, his hand tucked in his pocket and a smile as he sits beside Ango.
“You remembered,” Sakaguchi replied.
“Of course, do you really think I’d forget a friend’s birthday?”
Ango smiled, “No, but we also haven’t been friends in years.”
“Maybe not,” Dazai answered with a sigh, “But I’d never forget. Do you still not celebrate?”
Ango nodded, “My boss wanted me to take the day off, I’m not sure what to do with myself now.”
“You need a social life,” Dazai said with a laugh.
“Probably.”
Dazai lays his head on Ango’s shoulder, closing his eyes as took in the autumn air.
“Why are you here?” Ango asked.
“I’m always here,” Osamu answered, “And that’s not a joke, the whole agency will tell you. If I’m not at the office, there’s a good chance I’m here. I visit everyday.”
There’s silence between them for awhile as Ango glances at Dazai, and then back to Odasaku.
“He probably wouldn’t want us to be here, wallowing in depression,” Sakaguchi says with a sigh.
“No, you’re right,” Dazai answers, “He hated when I did that… I actually only came here to see if you were here. I figured you’d choose to be here on your birthday of all days.”
“All my friends either want to be dead or are already dead,” Ango said jokingly, to which Dazai gave a soft snicker to.
“Let’s get out of here,” Dazai offers, standing as he holds out a hand for Ango, “Go get a drink or something, I’ll celebrate with you.”
“You don’t have to,” Ango rebuttals.
Dazai only smiles in return, a smile Ango recognizes as one similar to Odasaku’s.
“I want to.”