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Sitting on their fluffy bed, a young person was playing with their blanket. Appreciating the softness while they were passing their hands on it, a sad sigh passed through their soft lips, marking their sadness.
Rain was echoing on the window, the dripping of every gout able to be heard, like a simple music. It wasn't calming at all.
It was exhausting.
(Y/n) was blind and it was exhausting.
They remembered being able to see, when they were young, when their parents were still there for them, when they played in the grass and giggled in the garden of the family house. Their old home.
They remembered everything before.
They didn't for the accident. Now they were just able to tell if the room was dark or not. And their bedroom was dark. The lights weren't switched, the windows closed, everything was so dark, it was so tiring...
Salty tears started to fall on the bed, wetting the sheets. (Y/n) took a while before understanding that they were crying, harshly rubbing their cheeks to make the tears disappear.
It didn't work.
(Y/n) had never been bothered by their condition. They accepted it, quite quickly, welcoming their fate in their arms, a gesture way too mature for a child of their age. But it didn't matter anymore. They learned quickly how to survive and be independent, as a blind person, how to educate people and understand them, how to be happy.
At least, they thought they were.
Then, they met Atsushi Nakajima.
This boy was everything. Sweet, comforting, understanding, adorable, not too clingy but quite clumsy. He was everything they weren't, and they were anything he wasn't. The two were the perfect couple, the one that last until the end of the world, even after dying in each other's arms. It was so full of love and adoration, everything was here to be perfect.
But then, (Y/n) always remembered that they were blind.
It destroyed them. Literally. The fact that they could never see him. It made them so sick, sick of themselves and their blindness, but it wasn't like something you could change so easily. (Y/n) will never be able to watch how beautiful he was, to reassure him about his insecurities, to whispers praise and kind words in his ears at night how beautiful he was in their eyes, because they simply couldn't distingue how he was. The color of his eyes, the pink little hues travelling on his cheeks when he was blushing, the shape of his face. They will never see his expressions or little reaction when they were cuddling, because he was embarrassed and shy around them. It was just distinction between light and dark.
Light and Dark. Every time.
(Y/n) wanted to see their true -love- light, Atsushi, so bad but it felt like he was so far away from them at the moment, the urge to scream paralyzed their throat.
And like that, shining tears began to wet their peachy cheeks, again. But this time, it was desperate.
At first, (Y/n) didn't notice. And then, the salty water started to burn their face once more, pouring from their eyes without any mercy, showing how they really felt at the bottom of their heart. It wasn't tears of mixed feelings, but pure sadness and pity for themselves. It was the mourning for their missing eyes, the mourning that they never had when they were young, because '(Y/n) it's going to be okay'. It was just how their heart was aching so much between their lungs.
Crying two times in such short time achieved the young adult.
Quickly the young person face became just a messy mix between sobs, tears and trembling motions. Their hair was stuck on their forehead, the sweat slowly mixed with the crystal liquid pouring from their eyes. It was so overwhelming, and it was so hot and suffocating, please just stop.
'Let me see him, I beg you'.
The wind only responded, making the curtains move a little, kissing the breeze peacefully.
Until-
“(Y/n), I'm home!!”
His voice echoed on the walls, making (Y/n) uncontrolled sobs stops right away. They tensed, their features suddenly passing by surprise, shame, anger and then fear.
What if they saw them like this? They started to rub their cheeks vigorously, the anger remaining in every single movements they made, trying to get rid of the tears marks. It became hurtful quite easily, their poor cheeks wanting to stop being rubbed so forcefully. But it was simply panic that animated the young adult at the moment, so they didn't stop even with the pain, just wanting to be presentable for their lover. For him.
They knew how Atsushi could be. The young boy was always trying to help everyone, and put all the shame onto him without any mercy for himself. He thought he needed to deserve to live, he thought he needed to make himself worthy of that life. (Y/n) knew how much he was struggling before and refused to make him relive that.
So they hid their own pain.
“(Y/n)?”
It didn't work. Atsushi was soaked, but he knew something was wrong when he passed the door. Usually (Y/n) was here, preparing dinner and some food. They would jolt from joy when he would pass the door, showering him with kisses and affection, whispering a 'Welcome home' lightly in his ear. They would tell him that they prepared a bath and that he could go relax while they were finishing cooking dinner, that pretty little smile Atsushi loved so much on their face.
That's why anxiety started to take place in his throat, tickling is lungs at first, crushing them after. He didn't bother to tidy his umbrella, knocking off his boots from his feet, starting to search for his lover frantically while his voice was trembling.
“(Y/n), where are you?”
Instinct took over his reasoning, leading him to their room. If they weren't here, things would become so bad for Atsushi's heart, he wouldn't be able to take it. He just hoped his lover was asleep, and they didn't hear him. He hoped they would wake up and giggle, telling him he was paranoid and that they weren't going anywhere.
Yes. Atsushi was paranoid. Even overprotective. When it comes to them, every little parts of his body was on edge and the only thing that could calm him down was (Y/n). Who could blame him. He was so self-conscious about himself, he was sure they were going to go away one day.
'Because I wasn't enough'
He really hoped this day wasn't here yet.
What he found in their bedroom set him even more on edge. They were here. Of course, they were, facing the ceiling, laying on their back, and he thanked God many, many times for that. But they were so fragile at the moment, the white haired boy wanted to destroy everything. He wanted to cry and scream for them, but also whispers it will be okay. Even if he hadn't any idea of what happened, of what could have happened. Coming out of his trance he slowly made his way to them, gentle whispers coming out of his mouth to announce him to his lover. He didn't want to scare them, even more when they were already so upset.
“Hey... Love what's happening...?”
(Y/n) twitched at his touch, their mouth opening slightly before closing right away. When he entered they already knew, but ignored him. But now, he was here, facing them, and they didn't know what to say at all. Atsushi began to rub their back, just wanting their sobs to stop at the moment, worries plastered on his feature.
“(Y/n)... I'm worried about you... Did I do something wrong...? Maybe you don't want to talk about it, but you seem so sad right now it breaks my heart. I just... I just want to help you. I promise I will do better so please... please... tell me what happened.”
(Y/n) swore their heart stopped. They knew they were a mess right now, and the feelings were so overwhelming that's nothing was getting better at the moment. They needed to get their shit together but how? They couldn't find the right answer so tears started to fall of their eyes again.
Atsushi was desesperate, afraid. His eyes were starting to blur as well and his heart was pounding so hard against his ribs, he thought he was dying for a second. Indeed, the boy felt all the pain of his lover but also the shame. It was his fault and his fault only, after all-
Thoughts were interrupted by the tickling of someone's hair on his arms. (Y/n) was trying to get onto him, probably for comfort but only managed to put their head on Atsushi's arm, because all the strength they had, has vanished. Small drop of water appeared on the boy arms and sniffling could be heard, as he started to gently stroke their back.
More gently and steady this time, the boy with snow hair asked again.
“(Y/n)... What's happening... I'm so worried about you. I-I, I really want to protect you. I want you to be happy you know. Even if... If it's not with me-”
“What?!”
(Y/n) shot their head up, their face crushed with sadness and marks of tears on their cheeks.
“Sushi. You are not the problem. It's me, i-it's because of me...”
Words blocked in their throat, (Y/n) didn't even manage to finish that sentence. A hand appeared, starting to stroke their cheek gently, sign that Atsushi wanted to calm himself as well.
“Are you sure? It's alright if it's-”
“It's because I can't see you!!”
Atsushi was definitely taken aback. Tears dripping down on their cheeks, (Y/n) was devastated. His big eyes scanned his lover, searching for any sign of flaws. But he saw nothing. He saw nothing and didn't understand the state of their lover because of this invisible thing. But it bothered him to the point he had to understand. 'Take the place of (Y/n), be at their place, see with their eyes and then-'
They never saw him.
It hit him like an arrow. They've said it, but it was a blur, something Atsushi didn't catch because he never thought (y/n) could be bothered by it, since he met them when they already had their blindness.
He never thought (Y/n) could be bothered by their own lack of vision.
He had been insensitive.
Sobbing uncontrollably, head down, something touched the cheek of Astsuhi's lover, redressing their head, while their lips met something soft and warm. Salting tears were mixing in the kiss, the sob of (Y/n) slowly starting to disappear.
Carefully and without a word he took their hands in his, slowly making them cupping his cheeks, leaning against their palms.
“You can't see me, but you still can feel, right?”
And with that he started to move their hands against his skin. His cheeks, warm and soft, then his chin, round but not too much, just enough to understand that his features were as soft as him. Atsushi guided (Y/n)'s hands through this journey, making them feels every single part of his skin. His lips, his nose, his eyelids, ears and temples.
In awe, (Y/n) followed his instructions perfectly, while some tears were dropping on their cheeks, from the shock. They could almost picture him perfectly, catching his face in their mind, never wanting to let it go.
“You're so beautiful.”
It escaped their lips without any warning, the beauty of their lover catching them off guard, making them melt in front of him. The sudden affirmation made Atsushi flush, his cheekbones deepening in a deep shade of red, completely amazing by their lover.
One more, the young man wiped away their tears, before leaning in and joining their lips lovingly. (Y/n) took advantage of this to travel the face of their soulmate once more, memorizing each part of his body, marking it with red-hot iron in their mind, to keep it forever.
“You're so beautiful, Atsushi. I can't stop watching you.”