Chapter Text
Outside, the rain was still heavily pouring down onto earth. Standing against the wide window glass in the master bedroom, fifteen-year old Akihito let himself being immersed by the loud sound of the raindrops hitting against the rooftop. Clad only in his favourite, thin short and tank top, he involuntarily shivered as he felt the temperature turned colder. He did not mind it, the rain and the cold air soothed his mind, allowing him to escape reality for a brief moment. The past two weeks had been confusing and plainly, not right. He could not even decide where to start thinking of it. He sighed softly as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the nearly frozen glass.
The blond flinched slightly when suddenly, a blanket was draped around his frame from behind along with a pair of strong arms that were very familiar to him. Akihito did not need to open his eyes to know who had put it around him since there was only one person who could do it to him considering the current predicament he was in.
“Don’t wear such thin clothes when it’s this cold, Akihito. You might fall ill.” Ryuuichi whispered.
Ryuuichi’s deep, husky voice made every end of Akihito’s nerve jolted, as if they were struck by electricity. It sickened him. Only heavens know if there was any one on earth that could build resistance against Ryuuichi and how he wished that he was one. He was supposed to be unaffected, he should be!
Because, the person that was tightly embracing him while lovingly nuzzling his cheek was his own brother—who was older by twelve years—not in blood though, but still, they were brothers. He bit his lower lip hard when he felt a pair of lips on his neck.
“Hm…you smell so good, Aki.”
Akihito shivered again, but this time, it was not caused by the dropping temperature and Ryuuichi knew it. Disgust and fear invaded the younger Asami’s and soon, tears were already pooling in his hazel eyes. Again.
“Nii-chan…stop it.” Akihito begged tearfully, his voice being broken by the sob that was rising in his chest.
Growling, the bigger male forcefully spun Akihito to face him. Seeing the almost hostile glint in his brother’s golden eyes that had always looked at him in immeasurable adoration, Akihito tensed up and held his breath. He knew that there was no way Ryuuichi would physically hurt him, but it was still frightening to see how close the older man was into turning a beast. A beast that he knows not of what it was capable of doing.
“I told you to never call me that again. Ever.”
“But, you are my brother! Nii—“
“I don’t like repeating myself, Akihito. I am not your brother, I’m your lover.”
The tears finally broke and made their own trails down the blond’s smooth cheeks. That was he did for the past two weeks, crying and crying uselessly, and as tired as he was of it, he just could not stop.
“You are mine and mine alone. I will not give you to anyone.”
Then, Ryuuichi lunged forward. Closing the little gap they had between them and crushed their lips together. Akihito futilely pushed against his brother’s toned chest, desperate to get away from him. By now, his sobs broke through uncontrollably and he knew it infuriated his brother that was practically violating him.
Everything suddenly flashed forward and he found himself on the bed, naked, with Ryuuichi trapping him from above. Lewd and filthy words were all he could hear along with touches that terrified him to the core. Long fingers began to intrude his entrance, threatening to breach into the deepest part of him.
“Mine, mine, mine…” He heard his ‘lover’ muttered under his breath.
“S-stop…please.”
“You belong to me, Akihito. My hands will be the only one you ever know.”
Then, the world turned white as he felt something inside him was assaulted by the moving fingers in him. He closed his eyes and clenched the sheet, drool trailed down at the corner of his mouth as he panted and moaned.
"Look at me, Akihito."
He could not. How could he watch himself being violated? And by the person that he had been admiring his entire life at that?
“Look at me!”
Ryuuichi’s voice boomed against the four walls of the room, making the male under him flinch and stiffened in fear. Slowly, the hazel eyes that he had always loved turned to him. They were watery and sad, and it caused his insides to burn in pain. He did not want to see those eyes in such state. All his muscles ceased to move, all stunned in place in shock and utter rejection. He wanted, longed to see them in pure lust and ecstasy for him. And most importantly, love. He wanted them to shine in happiness whenever they were fixed at him, not like now. Not like that.
“Why?”
The question went almost unheard by Akihito, and he doubted that it was meant for his ear. Ryuuichi’s face fell ever so slightly, his eyes dimmed and full of conflicts.
“Why can’t you look at me?”
The blond heard the quiet monologue and it made his heart nearly stop. His brother had always been so strong, so sure of himself, and definitely was different compared to the man on top of him right now.
Asami Ryuuichi was a name that Japan and everyone in the corporate world knew so well. Ryuuichi had inherited Sion when he was just twenty-one and since then the company had been so successful, ten times more than during the time of their father. He and his father were so proud of him and there was not a day he did not pray for his success.
From the day he was brought into the very small and lonely family of Asami, he had promised to himself that he would take care of them. He was just five when father adopted him. He still remembers the awe that he felt when saw the big and luxurious penthouse he was lead in. When he first met his brother, Ryuuichi looked so cold, too emotionless for someone his age. At that time, he had wondered if the teenager had no friends to play with because he, too, sometimes fought with the kids at the orphanage he was in. He had told the seventeen-year old Ryuuichi that he would play with him and make him happy, so that he would not look so sad. Father was stunned speechless when he saw Ryuuichi smiled. He did not understand why after that, father thanked him with such deep gratitude in his weary eyes.
Since then, he and Ryuuichi were hardly separable. They often sleep together because his brother refused to let him go and he did not mind it either. His brother was like a big, fluffy and cuddly teddy bear—like the one that he saw on the high shelf in the orphanage and he never got to play with it because the other kids would often fight for it—but that was a secret that he kept to himself because he knew that Ryuuichi liked to keep everything between them and was still cold to everyone except him and father.
But things started to become weird when he turned twelve. He made new friends at school, and he talked a lot about them to Ryuuichi, thinking that the teenager would love to hear about his new friends but instead of being happy, his brother had narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth so hard that it was audible. He learned to not mention about anyone in front his brother because of that. He had hoped that his brother would be friendlier in times but it was in vain because Ryuuichi only grew weirder.
He was naïve at that time and thought that it was just a phase that an older brother was going through because his little brother was growing up. But one incident opened his eyes to the truth behind his brother’s odd behavior. He was sitting between Ryuuichi’s legs and leaning against his toned chest—which he loved to lean against and envied at the same time—while he read a book that his brother had bought him, when he felt a pair of lips on the nape of his neck. Before he could ask anything, the lips landed on his and possessive hands were already inside his shirt, brushing his chest in a way that made his hair stands on the end. That was when he realized that his brother was not seeing him only as a sibling. He did not tell father about it, though.
He began putting distance between them from that point, avoiding the older teenager as much as he could although it hurts doing do. The night the nightmare that he was currently in began he heard father and Ryuuichi shouting at each other. He was afraid to ask why they were fighting but he never had the chance because he was dragged out of the penthouse by his brother after the shouting.
Akihito snapped out of his memories when he felt the body above him turned rigid and still. Everything had stopped as Akihito continued to watch Ryuuichi battling with himself, even their breath sounded so harsh to the hearing.
But the deafening silence broke when Ryuuichi spoke. It was not breathy and low like the previous ones. This time, it was loud and clear although Ryuuichi did not look up.
“Do you hate me?”
“No.” Akihito answered without hesitation in spite of the tremor in his voice.
“Do you love me?”
Of course he did, yet at the same time, he did not. Tears returned to his eyes, filling them just like how his chest was being filled sadness that wanted to strangle him. Before he even realized it himself, he was already sobbing.
Ryuuchi’s head remained low, his eyes hidden behind the bang of his jet black hair. Slowly, he let go of Akihito and sat down on the bed. His eyes had lost their focus. Then he covered his head with his hands, running his fingers through his hair a few times before he bent over, screaming as he pulled on his hair.
Akihito covered his mouth with his hand, terrified and crying even louder when he saw tears dripped from his brother’s eyes. He had never seen him cry. The screams that had torn their way out of his brother’s throat were horrible, they sounded so tortured and broken that he knew they would haunt him forever.
Why did it have to be like this?
“…hito, wake up.”
Huh?
Akihito faintly heard someone calling his name. But there was one in the room other than the two of them. He peered at the broken man in front him, Ryuuichi was still screaming.
“Akihito, wake up.” He heard the voice calling him again. He knew that voice. It was Feilong’s voice…
“Akihito!” Someone shook his hand.
Akihito jerked in shock and was blinded by the light. He blinked several times, regaining his focus and when he could open his eyes without trouble, Feilong’s face came into his view.
“Huh?”
The handsome Chinese male raised an eyebrow at his immaculate response, amusement dancing in his eyes although there was concern in them.
“You’re crying in your sleep.” Again, Akihito knew that his boyfriend was insinuating that word. Oh yeah, the man was his boyfriend now. Akihito mentally slapped himself at his brain’s sluggishness. He wiped the back of his hand on his cheeks, and felt the wetness there. Ashamed, he wiped the trails of tears. Feilong only smiled understandingly.
“Sorry.”
“It’s alright, love. We’re landing soon.”
His stomach twisted in knot. He would be home soon, with his new boyfriend. He had left Japan for America four years ago, a month after the ‘incident’ and he had never returned after that. He was always in contact with his father, but not Ryuuichi. His brother had distanced himself and never answered his calls.
“Oh.”
“Are you that nervous? My, my I thought the boyfriend is the one who should be all fidgety about meeting the family.”
“S-shut up.” That was all he could manage as he felt heat rising on his face and blushed redder when Feilong smirked.
“Don’t worry, my cute Akihito. I will make sure that I impress them and in no time, you will be the bride that we want you to be.”
“How come I am the bride? If anything, it should be you! Long hair — wait, I did not even agree to marry you—“
“Yet.” Feilong interjected smugly.
“You!”
“Ah, looks like we are here.”
Automatically, their playful banter died as the jet—which, by the way, was Feilong’s private jet—stopped, causing the blond’s heartbeat to race.
“Let’s go.”
The Chinese male stood up and offered his hand to Akihito, who was still in a daze. The latter had been so busy chewing on his lower lip to notice that his seatbelt was already unbuckled by Feilong.