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It happened when he and Kirishima were out. They had almost made it back to UA when suddenly, a burst of light struck Bakugou from behind. As the blonde collapsed, Kirishima turned to see someone run off. But he was too focused on Bakugou laying on the ground to go after the villain.
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“It’s a Quirk that makes you live in your worst fears. This same villain has struck 6 others students. It wears off in a few hours, so you can take him back to his room or leave him here, it’s up to you. But you’re going to want him to be where he’d be the most comfortable when he wakes up. All the other students have had a rough time after waking up.” Recovery Girl pats Kirishima on the shoulder before going to her next patient.
Kirishima sighs before picking Bakugou up, bridal style to carry him to his room. He couldn’t even envision what Bakugou could be afraid of, besides storm drains. But he knew it’d probably be something super manly.
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Bakugou was stuck. Stuck inside some sort of giant monster that was eating him alive, turning him to mush. He could see everyone who he cared about in front of him: his parents, All Might, his teachers, his classmates.
And Kirishima.
He stood out the most, red hair shining against the sea of gray that colored everyone else. He was the only thing in color, teeth shaped into a grin that took up half his face. He was looking directly at Bakugou, as ethereal as usual. Bakugou took a breath, relief relaxing his features.
If there was anyone who would save him, it would be Kirishima.
At least, that’s what he thought. But a gust of wind blew through the area, carrying dirt and dust into Bakugou’s eyes. He coughed, rubbing his eyes to clear them. When he looks up again, everything is distorted. Everyone is too big, too long. They smile, but it’s clear there’s malice behind them. Their eyes light up, giddy reflecting in them as they watch the panic take over Bakugou. His breathing quickens, and he begins to flail around. This just makes the monster eat him faster.
He calls out, hoping, praying that someone, ANYONE would come to help him. Instead, they turn, one by one, and walk away, engaged in casual conversation.
Like he isn’t even there.
Kirishima is the last one left. He looks at Bakugou, a mix of pity and something that’s not quite disappointment settling on his face as he turns around, to follow everyone else.
“KIRISHIMA! PLEASE! DON’T LEAVE ME!”
It’s like he doesn’t even hear it.
“Please. Please, don’t leave me. Please.” Bakugou’s voice echoes into the void as the monster swallows him, slowly but surely devouring him whole. His pleas go unanswered, wind carrying them far and wide to anyone who would listen. He begs, over and over, unable to stop himself, the fear taking hold of him. He knew no one would come for him.
Deep down, he always knew.
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He didn’t know how many times he had to relive it before he woke up. It had all started to fade together at some point, laughter echoing in the void, growing louder every time he died.
One minute he was watching Kirishima walk away from him, and the next, his head was in Kirishima’s lap.
“Oh dude, you’re awake! How do you feel?”
“How...what?”
“You got him by some villain targeting UA students. Apparently he was a “Worst Fear” Quirk.”
“So it wasn’t real.” Bakugou sits up, practically flinging himself off of Kirishima in an attempt to calm himself. Despite reassurance from Kirishima that it was all in his head, Bakugou couldn’t stop shaking.
“It was that bad, man? You wanna talk about it?”
“They...left me. Everyone left me. YOU left me. Everyone left. They saw me, they looked directly at me, and they left. Why would they do that, Kirishima? Why would you leave me?” Bakugou looks up at Kirishima, eyes watering, and Kirishima’s whole mood shifts. He knew that when other people woke up, they were freaked out, but he assumed Bakugou would be stronger than that. Surely, he couldn’t have such a bad fear that it would make him freak out like this.
“Wait wait slow down, Kat. What happened? You’re not making sense.”
“I was getting eaten, and they saw me. I know they saw me. And they LAUGHED! They didn’t even fucking care! You didn’t care! You saw me, Kirishima, and you left me! Over and over!” Bakugou’s entire frame trembles, as Kirishima watched on in shock. He had never seen Bakugou get this bad, and he had seen the blonde through multiple breakdowns.
But this. This was different.
“Okay okay just breathe, okay? I wouldn’t leave you.” Kirishima tries to pull Bakugou closer to him, but Bakugou jerks away. His eyes are wild, tears streaming down his face. Kirishima barely recognizes the person in front of him.
“You did though! Everyone is going to leave me. I’m going to be alone again. Everyone is going to leave. Everyone is going to leave.” Bakugou repeats the words as if in a trance, rocking back and forth on the bed. He looks like he’s in another world, hair strewn across his face and skin pink and blotchy from crying that hasn’t entirely stopped.
“I’m not going to leave you, Kat. I’m right here, see?” Kirishima grabs Bakugou’s hand, hoping it will calm him down, at least a little.
“Yes you would! Everyone would! You would!” Bakugou’s hand ignites, and Kirishima almost gets burned before he lets go in shock.
“Bro, why are you saying this? Like, I get that the fear Quirk freaked you out, but it wasn’t real-”
“It was real enough. It’s going to happen. I know it’s going to happen.”
“Why? How?”
“Because you don’t care about me like you say you do, Kirishima!” Bakugou’s scream leaves a silence floating in the space between them, as his words echo around the room and back their way back to them.
“How-”
“How could you think I don’t care about you?” Kirishima chokes on the words, but it’s enough to bring Bakugou back for a moment.
“That’s not what I-”
“Don’t lie to me. It’s obviously what you fucking meant.” The hurt behind Kirishima’s voice masked anger and betrayal, but only thinly. Bakugou could feel the ice washing over him as he tried desperately to stop its encroachment upon Kirishima.
“You know it isn’t.”
“Oh obviously I don’t know anything about you, Bakugou. I thought I did. But I have no idea why you’d even act like this, especially towards me.”
“Everyone only sees me for my Quirk. They don’t see me.” Bakugou’s whispers just angered Kirishima further, rendering him unable to stop himself from lashing out.
“Your Quirk? You think I like you for your damn Quirk? You think I almost tore the entire class apart over your stupid fucking QUIRK, Bakugou? Are you fucking insane? Your Quirk is stupid! It’s not even top ten in our class! Oooh look at me, I can shoot explosions from my hands! WHO FUCKING CARES?” Kirishima felt himself getting carried away, but in the heat of the moment, he didn’t care. All he could see was red, staining his vision and turning Bakugou into a completely different version of himself.
“My Quirk...isn’t good?” Bakugou’s words remove the color from Kirishima’s vision just in time for Kirishima to see him break.
“Wait, Kat.”
“They don’t care about me. They don’t. No one does. My Quirk is all I have. Please don’t take it from me.”
“I’m not taking anything from y-”
“No one loves me. They don’t. Why don’t they love me, Kirishima? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong? Why does no one love me?” Bakugou looks up at Kirishima, eyes shining with unshed tears. Kirishima had never truly known how much Bakugou had hurt before this. But just looking into his eyes told Kirishima that Bakugou believed every word he had been saying.
He truly believed that no one cared about him.
“Kat. Kat. Listen to me.”
“They don’t love me. I’m all alone. I’ll always be alone. No one cares about me. They don’t even care enough to hate me. They left me and they’d do it again. No one cares. They don’t. I don’t matter to them-”
“KATSUKI!” Hearing his full name, Bakugou turned his head to look at Kirishima.
“What?”
“Please, stop this. It’s- I- How can I stop this? What can I do?” Kirishima hardened his fingers before trying to take Bakugou’s hand again, sighing as they didn’t explode.
“Stop what?”
“Kat, you’re like gone. Off the deep end. I- I don’t know what to do. Your brain is like working overtime trying to convince you that no one cares about you. If I didn’t care about you, why would I even bother being here right now? Why would I have forced myself into your life? Why would I make you make friends? Why would I sit with you every time you broke down, and helped you build yourself back up again? Does my support really mean that little to you?” Kirishima hiccuped, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hold his own tears anymore.
Watching Bakugou self-destruct was KILLING him. He always thought that Bakugou had appreciated their relationship, even if he didn’t express it like a normal person would. But maybe he had been misinterpreting the blonde’s intentions.
“I just don’t want to be alone again. I’m scared. I can’t open myself up, only to have you walk away from me. Please, don’t leave me, Kir.”
“I already said I wasn’t. I don’t know what else I could do to convince you.”
“I...need you. I love you, Kirishima.” The words came out like a whirlwind, wrapping Kirishima up in their implications and hidden meanings.
Bakugou had never told him that he loved him before. At least, not in the way that he was saying it right now. This was a different kind of love. Usually, they kept their relationship light, but this was something guttural. Bakugou had dragged this from the depths of himself, pulling out something much older than either of them.
“You love me?”
“I can’t be alone again. I can’t live without you.”
“I didn’t take you for the ‘I love you’ type, Kat. But I love you, too. Even if you don’t believe me. Even if you never believe me. I’ll never stop loving you for as long as I live. And even if we’re no longer together. I’ll never leave you.”