Chapter Text
Patton smiled encouragingly as Janus took a seat at the table, turning back around quickly to poke at the pancakes intent on not burning them this time. He took his hat off slowly, wanting to be respectful, and fidgeted with the thermos he had brought from the other kitchen. It was a translucent pale yellow with little snakes with bowties patterned all over the surface of the plastic. Virgil and Remus had worked on it together some years ago as a gift for Christmas and dispite their now rocky relationship he was hoping that seeing the old gift would make Virgil...tolerate him? Maybe start a conversation? Sighing he got up to look for a drink from the fridge just as Roman walked into the kitchen.
He and Janus froze as they caught sight of each other and the air immediately turned tense. He saw Patton's shoulders rise slightly and guiltily looked away, offering Roman a hesitant nod while he unscrewed the thermos and set it on the table as he continued towards the fridge. He didn't expect Roman to not be upset with him; he understood completely that he had taken it too far but then again so had Roman. He knew the creative side had laughed at Virgil's name as well and that had honestly made it even harder for him to even consider making himself that vulnerable, but it had been the only thing he had known to do to establish some level of trust between him and the others. Plus, he glanced back over to Patton, it was worth it for pancakes.
He turned around holding a jug of milk that was thankfully not expired just as Roman brushed past him, purposefully bumping his hip against the table as he did. The thermos wobbled and Janus was not nearly quick enough this early in the morning to prevent it from falling. Time felt like it slowed as it smashed onto the ground and a piece from the bottom broke off from the spidering cracks. Distantly he heard Patton gasp and plates clanking together as Roman hummed a simple tune but for all the distractions he couldn't bring himself to look up yet. He slowly leaned down to pick up the peices, tearing up as he realized he wouldn't be able to fix it like how it was before. His powers didn't fix things, they disguised things. Virgil and Remus had worked hard on making this together and now...
"How childish can you be?" He growled out, effectively cutting off the semi-cheerful humming.
Roman scoffed, not sparing him a glance as he set the table - with only four plates he noticed - and crossed the floor again to get glasses. "It's only a cup, just conjure a new one."
Janus stood up angrily and clutched the ruined peices to his chest. "I can't conjure things like that and you know it! I don't even have the capabilities to fix this and you think nothing of ruining the one thing I brought up with me? Your immaturity is-"
"Is what?" Roman whirled around. "As bad as Remus'? Worse? You think just because you're out here with us that means everything is somehow fine?!"
"Roman." Patton was looking at the creative side with a mix of concern and...anger? The pan was thankfully empty as it seemed to be forgotten for the time being.
Hearing the warning in his voice, Roman deflated a bit before turning away. "Whatever."
Patton shot Roman a hard look before looking over at the man still clutching the broken thermos to his chest. "Janus-"
He quickly turned away from Patton's gentle tone, sinking down into his room without a second glance.
Tears threatened to spill over as he tried in vain to blink them back, cursing as he collapsed in his bed and pulled the covers over himself completely. Roman was right, this was completely childish. Crying over something as small as a broken cup. He curled around it protectively even as the jagged edge cut into his palm. But Virgil and Remus had worked so hard on this. Virgil keeping Remus' more suggestive designs off of the gift and Remus reigning in his creativity enough to make something they knew Janus would actually like. Even if they had put the snakes on it as a joke he still loved it, they even managed to get it his favorite shade of yellow.
But now it was broken. The one thing he had from before their unit became tense, when they had been like a little family of their own. Now he couldn't use it and so he had no reason to bring it out again, which meant Virgil would never see it and that meant there would be no conversation starter other than 'what are you doing here?'; no neutral ice breaker to start them thinking about how things used to be and to start them talking about how things could be again. It would just be him and his unwanted presence and stupid dishwashing yellow gloves and cape he wore because he couldn't have his blanket weight around his shoulders and hat to hide his curly hair that none of the others had so he didn't understand why he did and...and...
In his frazzled thoughts he barely noticed the bed becoming larger around him, the hill of blankets becoming a small mountain while he curled further into himself. He only noticed his drastically reduced size when he cracked his eyes open and realized just how difficult it was to hold the thermos when his hands were so much smaller than they had been.
A sob escaped his throat as he realized what had happened, the stress of the situation bearing down on a mind that was ill equipped to deal with it. Not only did everyone hate him for trying to help in the only way he knew how to get their attention but now he was small and his hand hurt where the broken plastic still dug into his palm and he couldn't stop crying. He wanted comfort but there was no one outside his room that would be willing to give it to him, especially since no one knew this happened when he got upset enough. No one except...
He cried harder, clutching the cup closer to him and burying his face onto the suffocating blankets further to try and drown out the sound, resigned to being trapped in his room for the foreseeable future.
------
Virgil stepped into the warm kitchen carefully, having heard yelling just an hour earlier and wanting to be sure the air was relatively clear before following the smell of pancakes. Patton was still at the table picking at his stack with an uncharacteristic frown on his face, Logan sat across from him with his usual coffee and phone while Roman stabbed angrily at his plate as if it had personally attacked him. Debating whether or not to stay the rumbling in his stomach made the decision for him, making him sigh with hunched shoulders before fully revealing himself to grab the stack set aside for him.
"Morning kiddo." Patton mumbled, the usual cheerfulness gone from his voice.
Raising an eyebrow and looking at each of them in turn he grabbed the syrup to drown the unsuspecting pancakes in front of him. "Morning, Patton. What's uh....is everything good?"
His eyebrow raised higher as Roman huffed loudly. "I broke a cup by accident and hurt Deciet's feelings and now he won't come out of his room even though I already tried apologizing through the door."
"Janus. And Roman, you really upset him-"
"It was just a cup, Patton!"
"To you!" Patton raised his voice slightly, Dad Mode fully activated as he tried to drive his point home. "You don't know what kind of significance that might have held for him and if him crying was any indication it must have been important! He has every right not to forgive you right away-"
"He was crying?" Virgil cut in, worry curling in his gut despite the tension that had been present between them since Janus revealed his name.
Roman's cheeks burned with what Virgil hoped was shame as he quickly left the room, Patton turning back to his plate with a sigh. "Yes, he was. He was very upset and still is if his door being locked is anything to go by."
Virgil nodded, standing up with his pancakes to leave. "Thanks for the breakfast, I think I'll eat in my room."
He didn't hear Pattons response as he sunk out.
-----
Trying to pick a lock while balancing pancakes on your lap was not as easy as it sounded, but Virgil was determined to get in the room. Anxiety burned through his veins as the lock finally clicked, hoping his worry was unwarranted.
Opening the door and looking immediately towards the tiny lump on the bed confirmed his worries. He closed and locked the door behind him before making his way quickly to the bed, setting the plate on the nightstand and crouching down carefully.
"Janus?" He said softly, wincing as the quiet sobbed cut off abruptly as the shaking stilled underneath the blankets. Virgil hadn't seen the other side like this in a long time, not since he left to join the "light sides" years ago. He still remembered to be gentle however as he tugged on the covers, pulling them down slowly when he didn't hear any protest.
"Dee?"
A red faced four year old curled up further into himself, tears still running down his face and snot smearing grossly across his cheek. His hat was gone allowing for tangled curls to splay across the pillow. Virgil gave him a hesitant smile as he held out a hand.
"I heard a little about what happened, do you wanna talk about it?"
The toddler hiccupped loudly and buried his face into the pillow, mumbling something that he couldn't catch.
"I can't hear you if you hide your face." Deciding to risk it he laid a careful hand on the others shaking shoulder, rubbing it softly when he wasn't pushed away. As he lowered his gaze to try and see what the other was holding he caught sight of something red staining the bedsheets underneath his hands.
His heart leapt in his throat. "Did you hurt yourself?"
Swallowing when all he recieved as an answer was another mumble he carefully slipped his other arm underneath the child, guiding him upright to try and find what was wrong. Janus, well Dee he supposed since at the moment he was little, was clutching what looked like a thermos to his heaving chest, sobs still suppressed as he gazed at Virgil fearfully. His heart broke at the expression, feeling horrible for making the child feel as if he had stopped caring. Looking closer he recognized the thermos; it was one he and Remus had made for him for Christmas years ago and suddenly everything clicked into place. Dee had most likely brought this to breakfast as a sort of peace offering and Roman had ruined what Dee had probably considered his only way of starting a conversation with Virgil. And he had been in here for an hour, upset and crying and afraid to seek help because he didn't think he could.
Virgil felt tears welling in his own eyes as he brushed them from Dee's, holding out his other hand in offering.
"I'm sorry if you felt like you couldn't come to me. Will you let me help you?"
Dee sniffed and looked down, slowly unclenching his fingers and leaning closer which Virgil took as consent. He slowly stood up and leaned down, scooping him up quickly and heading for the door. Unlocking and opening it with practiced ease he glanced out to make sure no one was around before heading quickly to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him.
Plunking Dee down on the sink he gently took the thermos from his hands, glancing up quickly as he winced. The poor kid must have been gripping it for the entire hour he had been curled up, cramping his hands in the process. He smiled with sympathy and took the tiny hands in his own, flipping them while massaging slowly as he inspected the cut he assumed had come from the broken plastic. It had cut through the glove and pierced his palm though thankfully it didn't look very deep. Retrieving the first aid kit from under the sink he slipped off both gloves and set them aside, grabbing out antiseptic wipes and bandaids.
"This will sting a little." He warned before gently wiping up all the blood away from the wound, grimacing as the cleaning revealed several small cuts and punctures rather than one singular cut he had assumed to be there. Once it was clean he grabbed a roll of gauze instead, wrapping the hand securely and taping up the loose end. Smiling at his work he put everything away and stood back up.
"Better?" He asked.
The toddler pouted slightly. "Still hurts."
Taking the hand again Virgil threw away all of his scraped up dignity and brought the palm to his lips, blowing an extremely gentle raspberry and grinning as Dee snatched his hand away giggling. Humming soothingly Virgil wet a washcloth and brought it to his face, wiping up the accumulated snot and tears thoroughly before throwing it aside.
Dee looked back down and hesitated for a second before tears gathered in his eyes again and he thrusted out his arms, making frantic grabby hands at the older side.
"Hey, hey it's okay." Virgil quickly scooped him back up and bounced slightly, continuing to croon as he made his way back to the bedroom while his shoulder became more and more wet. "I got you, Dee, I promise."
He sat on the bed and continued to rock the small side while rubbing his heaving back to try and calm him down. "Would talking about it help?"
He began to panic as Dee only sobbed harder, cursing himself for becoming so bad at this.
"I was mean t-to Ro-Roman so he- *hic* he broke my fav- my favorite cup and I- I can't fix *hic* I can't fix it and it's the o-only th-thing I have left from when- from when you liked me and now it8s gone!"
Virgil's arms tightened around Dee as he wailed, regret stabbing through his stomach painfully. "Dee, I still like you-"
"No you don't! You n-never want me ar-around since you *hic* since you left!"
"Dee, sweetheart, I promise I still like you. Things are just...complicated right now because everything's still trying to smooth out." Virgil pulled him away slightly so he could look at him properly, reaching forward to wipe at his cheeks. "This is something we need to discuss more when you're big again, but for right now, I'm not lying Dee. I still love and care about you very much. What Roman did was wrong no matter the circumstances and you are completely within your right to be upset."
Dee calmed slightly, still looking unsure but thankfully he had stopped crying. Virgil smiled and gently booped his nose earning a small giggle in response.
"If you want, I can ask Remus about fixing your cup for you and maybe making it so it won't break?" Dee nodded frantically, twisting his fingers in his shirt as his tears stopped completely.
"Then that's what we'll do, but later okay? For right now I brought you some pancakes." He gestured over to the bedside table before stopping and making a face, almost mirroring the disgusted way Dee's nose scrunched up at the prospect of eating the now cold and mushy pile of breakfast.
"Gross." Virgil laughed at Dee's declaration, agreeing completely.
"Should of thought that through I guess. I can make you another stack if you want? We can even make shapes!"
Dee glanced over at him, dubious expression completely out of place on his young face. "Not hungry. And you only do blobs."
"Maybe I've gotten better!" He countered indignantly, grinning at the raised eyebrow his statement earned him. "Alright well we'll try that later then. Let's get you changed into something more comfortable for right now, yeah?"
He lifted the child up and over to sit on the bed rather than his lap and walked over to the dresser where he knew Dee still had his favorite pajamas. He looked exhausted and Virgil had no doubt that as soon as he was comfortable he'd be nodding off.
Digging through various articles of clothing he hummed in triumph as he found what he was looking for. He laughed at the look on Dee's face as he presented the article of clothing, quickly helping him change.
A few minutes later he was tucking the yellow snake onesie clad four year old snugly into his blankets, biting his lip to keep from squealing as Dee's tongue blepped out happily. He made a mental note that if Patton was ever trusted enough to care for Janus when he was like this to make sure all of them were wearing ear plugs.
He was just turning to grab the thermos, intending to get Remus to help him fix it when Dee called out to him quietly.
"Vee?"
Virgil turned and smiled gently. "What is it, Dee?"
"Will you stay?"
His heart melted at the small vulnerable face, his vocal chords unable to form "no" even if he had wanted them to.
"Of course I will."
Much later, when Janus woke up from his impromptu nap definitely feeling better than he had in a while, he startled at the feeling of another's arm wrapped around him, twisting to see Virgil still fast asleep behind him. And if all he did was smile and lay back down, closing his eyes contentedly to soak in the feeling of being warm and safe, no one had to know.
He knew they would be talking later, but knowing Virgil of all sides still cared about him enough to care for him at his most vulnerable made him a lot less nervous about his future.