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Green always seemed like a dangerous color to Jason. Green was the color of a false sense of security and danger. It was the color of Robinson park, a place Jason always wanted to enter. Even in the midst of Gothams dirty and crowded buildings, there was a garden. Lush trees and plants bloomed and flourished under care. Everyone knew not to go anywhere near there, less they spark the anger of Poison Ivy and risk facing her wrath. Green was the color of the remainder of the pills he found in the bottle that was still clutched in his mother’s hands. He screamed and he begged but she wouldn’t open her eyes. Green was one of the colors of Robin, the colors of safety and of family. A place where he finally felt as if he was making a difference. He would fly through the sky with a look of pure joy on his face. He wore the colors proudly, he had no reason to hide them and he was proud of them. It didn’t matter in the end, it was only a trap. The same colors he held so dear ended up defining him. He was nothing more than a soldier to be disposed of and then tossed aside. Green was the color of the world around him, the color of his vision.
Jason clutched his head desperately as everything around him faded away. He had to hold onto himself, had to get it together. The warehouse walls shifted and turned as he dropped to his knees. His head felt as if it was being ripped in two. Part of him still clung onto the shred of sanity he had left. He couldn’t lose it now, not after so long of trying to hold himself together. If he lost it he would hurt someone and if he hurt someone then Bruce would send him away to Arkham. He couldn’t go to Arkham; he knew he couldn’t. If he went, Jason knew he would never snap out of it. When he thought of the imposing building he thought of Him. The laughter as a crowbar knocked him down again. Bruce said that he would never send him there, but Bruce couldn’t be trusted. Jason knew that if he even so much as touched another one of his brothers he would be shipped off without a second thought.
“Jason?” His head snapped up as Dick walked towards him. His face full of concern as he crossed the large room. “Jason, what’s wrong?”
“Dick you have to get out of here,” He hissed between gritted teeth. His eyes squeezed shut as his fingers began to tremble. Footsteps continued to walk towards him. They bounced off the walls and echoed deep inside his head. Jason knew they belonged to Dick, but they were too loud. He would have never slammed his feet down like that when he walked, but he was the only other person there. He turned his back as everything in his body began to shake. The pit's venom raced through his veins as he felt stronger than he had in days. His hands itched and trembled and behind shut eyes, he could picture the light fading from Dicks eyes as his hands tightened around his throat. “Get out, I will hurt you,”
“You’re not going to hurt me,” Dick reassured as he paused. Jason could feel him as he stood next to him but it felt as if he was towering over him. “You’re my brother, you’d never hurt me,”
“You don’t understand! I can’t hold it back for long, you need to run!” His hands reached up until they grabbed fistfuls of his hair. Then came the laughter. Loud, piercing laughter that shook Jason to his core. It was the same sound that he heard every time he closed his eyes. It seemed to never fully leave him. But it was there again.
“I doubt you could hurt me if you wanted to,” It wasn’t Dicks voice. Everything seemed wrong, it was all wrong! The footsteps were too loud, Dick would never walk like that. He would stand next to him, never tower over him. And the laughter. Jason's eyes snapped open and he was overwhelmed by the amount of green in his vision. He whirled around as he stumbled to his feet, and there he was. Red lips stretched back in a smile that seemed too big for his face as he clapped slowly. His pale skin almost seemed to glow with green.
“It took you long enough, Robin. One of my best performances I must say,” Jason froze, unable to move as the other man stepped forward. A crowbar hung loosely in his hand as he gestured towards him with it. He felt his breath halt in his throat as he desperately attempted to inhale. His mouth felt dry and words seemed almost impossible to form.
“What did you do with Dick,” He finally asked as he stared at the Joker with wide eyes.
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about him. It’s you who should be worried,” Laughter filled the air once more. Frantic, loud, laughter that made him freeze. Jason stared at the hooked curve of the metal bar that was pointed towards his face. “Oh, he screamed and cried out for you. Kept screaming for Little wing! Wing!” He broke off as he threw his head back to laugh. “Should have told him no one was coming to pick up the phone!”
He shot towards Jason, crowbar in hand, as he swung it towards him. Jason was frozen in place but the second he saw the crowbar heading towards his head he rolled to the side. He wasn’t a lost Robin anymore, and he wasn’t going to die there again. Quickly he pulled out his gun to take aim before it was knocked out of his hand. The gun flew across the room before it clattered to the floor, cartridge and bullets spewed out of it. He didn’t have time to think of his next option before he moved to the side once more. Green pushed all thoughts out of his head as he moved on instinct alone. He bent backward, wind whipped across his bare face as the crowbar missed him by an inch.
Jason shot forward, his foot caught into the Jokers knee and he forced him backward. He dropped the crowbar as he tumbled to the ground. Before he knew what he was doing the crowbar was in his hands. The mental was cold against his hands and it almost seemed to be once covered in his own blood, dried and crusted over from the years. He raised it over his head as he looked down at the fallen man before him. A smile of his own crossed his face as he swung it down. The metal collided with his stomach with a sickening crunch as he curled in on himself. But he didn’t yell or scream, only laughed.
The bar hit the ground loudly as he cast it aside before he belt down. His knees on either side of the man’s torso as he wrapped his hands around his neck. His skin almost the same color as his hair, the green in his vision was so prevalent it almost made it difficult to see. However, he could still feel everything. He felt the blood rushing in the man’s neck as his heart pumped quickly. Jason’s hands tightened around his neck and he smiled wider. He slowly squeezed until the Joker gasped for air and he kept going. His hands pressed further together as he felt his heart rate as it pumped. It pulsed against his hand quicker and quicker as he gasped for air. His hands weakly clawed at Jason's hands but he didn’t notice. For a moment it almost seemed like he was trying to say Jason's name but all that came out was a hoarse whisper. Slowly but surely his struggles lessened until his arms dropped to the ground. His eyes fluttered shut but still, Jason only tightened his grip. He didn’t know how long he stayed like that it could have been minutes or seconds he would have had no way of knowing. He tightened his grip further and further until his pulse slowed into nothingness. The green started to fade from his vision as his hands gently relaxed. Then he saw what he had done.
Green faded from his vision as the world came back into view. He stared down in horror at where the Joker used to lay, but it wasn’t the Joker anymore. He saw the deep bruises that were already forming around his neck. Quickly he felt for a pulse, but there was nothing. He laid his hand on top of the other before he began to push down on his chest, careful to keep a solid firm rhythm. He opened the other man’s mouth slightly before he bent down in a desperate attempt to get air into his lungs. Then he moved back to CPR.
“Come on! Come on god damn it!” Tears poured down his face as he continued to pump down. He knew it was hopeless, he had felt his pulse fade into nothingness. It was his hands that cut the air off from his lungs as he suffocated. But even still he couldn’t bring himself to stop.
After what must have been minutes his arms went lack, his hands still above, his heart. Jason slipped his arms underneath the other man before he lifted his limp, lifeless head up to his chest. His fingers tangled up in his dark hair as he sobbed. The man he had always looked up to, even when he pushed Jason away, was dead. His own brother, dead at his hands. He clutched Dick tightly as he rocked them back and forth. Even in his final moments, he had tried to talk to him, he called him by name. But Jason hadn’t listened. He could hear the sound of cars as they raced towards the building. He knew they would be there soon and they would see what he had done. Jason knew they would lock him away for good but he didn’t care. There was nothing left in him to care. He knew they would send him to Arkham and throw away the key, but it didn’t matter. Jason would go without a fight. He heard footsteps that headed towards him quickly as people shouted. His eyes drooped closed as his head rested on top of Dicks. At least there’s no green in darkness.
Jason bolted upright. His chest heaved as he gasped for air. His head whipped around frantically as he attempted to figure out where he was. He wasn’t in the warehouse, no the ground was too comfortable for that. He placed his hand down as felt as it sunk into the pillow next to him. Silent tears poured down his face as he pulled his knees up to his chest. His hands felt sore as if they had been squeezing something tight, and after one look at the pillow that was thrown across the room he knew why. His shirt clung to his chest tightly from sweat. He closed his eyes momentarily but all he could see was the look on Dicks face. He would have almost looked peaceful if it hadn’t been for the jarring nursing around his neck. His eyes snapped open but he could still see him. It hadn’t felt like a dream, it felt too real but the more he thought about it there was no way he could have gotten to the warehouse, to begin with. He strained his mind in an attempt to figure out what he would have been there for, but there was nothing. Still, the knowledge that it was a dream did nothing to calm his nerves.
He moved shakily to the edge of his bed as he groped around in the darkness for his phone. It was only when the cool phone touched his skin that he realized how hot he was. He looked around to see the remaining of the blankets on the floor. Even the fitted sheet had been untucked and somehow torn down the middle. He squinted as the bright light glared into his eyes. Through shaky fingers, he scrolled through his phone until he reached his contact. Jason knew it was stupid. He knew that it was just a dream and that Dick was somewhere safe but still the fear lingered. The second he called him, his anxiety started up again. With every second that he didn’t pick up, Jason started wondering if it wasn’t just a dream again.
“Jason?” Tears started to pour harder down his face at the sound of his voice. Dick sounded slightly out of breath like he had been running but still the confusion was clear in his voice. “I’m on patrol what’s up?”
“I,” Jason began before he trailed off. His teeth dug into his lip as he bit back a sob.
“Jason? Jason, what’s wrong?” Dick asked frantically, his voice growing more concerned with every word.
“It’s nothing really, I just…”
“You just what?” Jason took a shaky breath before he began again.
“I just had to make sure you’re alive,” Dicks breath hitched slightly as the two sat in near silence. The sound of the wind as it rushed past Dick the only thing that kept them from complete silence.
“Where are you?” Dick said finally.
“No you don’t have to come, really, I just wanted to make sure.” Jason protested as he ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t want to see Dick. He knew that when he saw him he would only envision his hands around his neck and how he looked slumped against Jason’s chest. But a tiny part of him did want Dick there. He wanted to be able to feel his pulse, to make sure he was truly breathing.
“Jason, throughout all we’ve been through, you’re still my little brother. Now tell me where you are,”
“Safe house, edge of Diamond district on Third street,” He whispered softly as Dicks words played over again in his head. It had been almost a month since they had last talked and even then it was only for a mission. Jason had been working on his own cases and he knew Dick had his hands full as well. It wasn’t a conscious decision on either of their parts, it just sort of happened. But to hear that even throughout everything that he had done that Dick still viewed him as a brother caused his chest to heat up slightly as he smiled.
“The one with the shop that sells killer paletas across the street?”
“That’s the one,” Jason hesitated for a moment before he spoke again. “Thanks,”
“Course, Little wing, I’ll be there in 5,” And he heard the line go dead. He inhaled deeply as he looked around the room. The room was bathed in a strong blanket of darkness but he could vaguely make out the shapes and colors. There wasn’t a trace of green.