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Noel was a weird one, Sirius concluded. He seemed to know much more then he let on with his sunny demeanor. In some ways he acted just like that idiot Claire, not that Sirius truly disliked Claire despite his protests. But at the same time he seemed like he’d gone through so much pain, which Claire has been sheltered from due to her memory loss.
Sirius didn’t quite know where to put his where his feelings for his childhood friends, and he certainly didn’t actively try and figure it out. It’s true he would always get annoyed of their antics and how they would play without a care in the world when they were kids, but at the same time, he envied them because of that. Sirius was constantly held down by the misery he faced through his life. Losing his parents, then losing the only other remaining family he had.
Ignorance was not something Sirius wished for. He couldn’t imagine a world where he’d forget the time he spent with Lady Dorothy. But it wasn’t as if he didn’t wish for some comfort, he had lived alone ever since “the incident”.
‘Truly all this thinking can’t be good for my health,’ Sirius thought to himself turning away from the window. He had gone to the room on the left of the 2nd floor (idk what it’s called) to hopefully clear his head of the childhood memories that had resurfaced. Though going had only made him ponder more.
As Sirius was starting to head to the door he saw someone come through. As if answering his earlier thoughts, the person who had entered was Noel himself.
“Oh, Sirius, I didn’t expect to run into you this late at night,” Noel said walking over to where Sirius had repositioned himself by the window, leaning slightly against the wall beside it.
“Same goes to you,” Sirius replies refusing to meet Noel’s gaze, choosing to stare at the endless sky instead.
“What are you doing up so late?”
“Just... thinking...”
“Thinking about what?”
“I am in no way inclined to tell you.” Sirius was in no way the mood to share his, needless, thoughts with one of the objects that had spawned said thoughts.
“Well, that’s fine.” Noel took place standing right in front of the window staring out almost longingly. Sirius wondered what that look could mean, not that he cared or anything. “I heard there might be a meteor shower tonight, so I wanted to come make a wish.”
“Heard from where? And why not just look through your room, you have a window, yes?”
“A demon told me, and why I’m here... I thought it’d be nice to get out of my room for a bit, I am always sleeping there after all.” Noel glanced at Sirius with a look that was far too kind, Sirius couldn’t understand it.
“Well leave me out of your silly wish making, I don’t believe in these sorts of things after all.” Noel only nodded his head a little as Sirius walked back to the door. It’s not as if he really wanted to leave Noel like this, but he couldn’t stand this unknown feeling that was building up inside of him.
Just as Sirius reached for the door, Noel in a more serious tone then Sirius has probably ever heard said, “Do you have a wish you’d do anything for?”
Sirius turns to look back at Noel, who’s eyes are still trained to the window mere centimeters away from his face. “A wish I’d do anything for..? Well it would certainly be nice to bring back the dead, but that would be far too selfish and childish wouldn’t it,” Sirius chuckles a bit at his own misery and over the fact that he decided to actually humor Noel with a response. “What about you?”
“I want everyone to be happy... no matter what...” Noel’s voice, Sirius noted, was more determined then the usual, but also hold a great amount of pain that Sirius had never seen Noel take on before.
There was a moment of silence between the two for a good couple of minutes, Noel staring at the stars, while Sirius stood awkwardly by the door deciding whether he would leave or not. It wasn’t until Noel excitedly said “Sirius come look!” that the silence was broken and the dark mood that had been set just before was lifted, though Sirius would argue not entirely.
Deciding to humor Noel yet again, Sirius walks back to the window and looks out to see just what has Noel so excited. To his wonder, a bunch of streaking lights shine through the sky. Sneaking a glance at Noel, Sirius notes the look of utter joy on his face as he looks at the display just out the window. The view makes Sirius’ heart flutter in ways he couldn’t describe.
Looking back at the stars, Sirius allows Noel one last thing from himself, “I actually do have a wish.” Noel looks at him expectantly, eyes filled with wonder and curiosity, a look Sirius remembers Patricia having when they were children. “I wish for your happiness,” Sirius says quietly, never tearing his gaze away from the light show just beyond the glass, afraid of what he might find, see, or feel from the look of the boy next to him.
Sirius does, eventually, look over after an abnormal time of silence. To his surprise he finds Noel still staring at him, but now with tears streaming down his face. “Wh-whats wrong, did I do something?” Sirius panics, not wanting to hurt Noel more then he already seemed.
Instead of getting a verbal response, Noel moves toward Sirius, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s waist, his head resting on Sirius’ right shoulder. The boy’s sobs were quiet, though in the silence of the rest of the room, they sounded quite audible.
Sirius, awkward as he is, only manages to loosely put his arms around Noel after a few moments of stun. Through Noel’s sobs, Sirius could make out a quiet “Thank you”, which only made him strengthen his hold on Noel.
The two boys stay like that for awhile. The stay wrapped in each others’ arms in a meaningful hug, in front of the window that continued to shine with the falling stars. I was Noel who broke the hug, his crying finally coming to a stop. He lifted his head and wipes away the tears, still never revealing his hidden right eye that Sirius had always wondered about.
“I’m sorry, I got a little emotional didn’t I...” Noel apologizes quietly, his voice a bit broken from the previous sobs.
“A little? It seemed like you had been releasing a dam that had been up for too long,” Sirius began, deciding that that didn’t get his point across as much he added quietly, “I’m glad that I could be here for you...”
Noel smiled, not his usual bright and sunny smile, but a sort of mellow smile, one full of understanding and gratefulness. The smile made Sirius feel uneasy, like he was being seen through, as if Noel understood these complicated feelings that kept arising throughout him. Intruding in Sirius’ personal space one last time, Noel moves Sirius’ bangs to the side and places a kiss on his forehead. Whispering “Good Night,” Noel leaves the now flustered Sirius to leave the room as quietly as possible.
Sirius stands by that window lost in thought for a solid 10 minutes, pondering about all the things that had occurred in the last 30 minutes or so. Sirius was bad with emotions, but he wasn’t blind, deep down he knew what all of these unidentified feelings meant. Maybe someday he’d have the courage to confront them, and maybe then he could fulfill his wish, and save Noel from whatever void has been consuming him.
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