Work Text:
“My love?”
Sunwoo sleepily said as he reached for Haknyeon. It was 5 AM in the morning and both of them had work. As soon as Haknyeon heard his voice, he turned to his boyfriend’s direction and let himself be enveloped in his embrace. Haknyeon loved being in Sunwoo’s arms. He felt safe there. He felt like Sunwoo would protect him from all the bad things in the world and for the last eight years, he did.
“We have to work, my sun,” Haknyeon mumbled into Sunwoo’s chest,” You take a long time to get ready.”
“I want to stay here with you,” Sunwoo mumbled, putting his head on Haknyeon’s head,” You are always better than that boss I have.”
“Of course, I am, but I can’t give you any money,” Haknyeon laughed,” How about we go out tonight? Eat out?”
“Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Ju?” Sunwoo smiled.
“Yes, I am, Mr. Kim,” Haknyeon looked up to him. Sunwoo had these amazing doe-like eyes that Haknyeon was addicted to. He loved how these eyes sparkled whenever he looked at him. He loved how Sunwoo always looked at him as if Haknyeon was his world. And Haknyeon knew that he was. Sunwoo took care of him well. He always reminded him that he was an important part of his life. Sunwoo never lacked in that aspect, or in any aspect.
Sunwoo was the perfect boyfriend. Haknyeon could never ask for more.
“I’ll see you after work then,” Sunwoo gave Haknyeon a kiss before letting him out of the car,” I’ll head here. Are you out by 5 PM?”
“I will be,” Haknyeon nodded,” I love you, my Sun.”
“And you will always be my only love,” Sunwoo waved goodbye,” Have fun at work.”
“I wish,” Haknyeon groaned before closing the door to the car. He felt really giddy about the after-work date. It had been weeks since they had time to go out with just the two of them. Work had kept them apart and forced them to eat dinner at home, sometimes not at the same time. Haknyeon felt like the 20-year-old that he was when Sunwoo confessed to him.
“Haknyeon, I don’t know how to say this,” Sunwoo scratched the nape of his neck. He looked nervous. Haknyeon wondered why. Was it something serious?
“What?” Haknyeon took a step closer to Sunwoo but the younger only reacted with a step back,” Are you distancing yourself from me? Do you not like me?”
“No!” Sunwoo almost shouted. When he realized how loud his voice was, he retreated into himself again.
“Then what?” Haknyeon was afraid Sunwoo was going to break off their friendship. He was afraid Sunwoo knew about his romantic feelings for him, feelings that he kept tucked away so their relationship would not change. He guessed Sunwoo figured him out already and he was preparing himself for the consequences.
“I…” Sunwoo looked down before inhaling deeply.
“You..?”
“I like you, Ju Haknyeon! As a romantic interest! As a boyfriend! I don’t want you to misunderstand so I’m spelling this out clearly!”
The other students passing by stopped when they heard Sunwoo’s loud confession. Haknyeon suddenly felt shy and quickly covered Sunwoo’s mouth.
“You could’ve told me… without shouting?” Haknyeon whispered.
“Your hand is cold but your face is red,” Sunwoo said as he removed Haknyeon’s hand from his mouth,” Perhaps…”
“Yes,” Haknyeon knew it was his turn to feel shy,” I like you too… as a boyfriend.”
The workday was over.
Haknyeon was relieved. He wanted the day to be over earlier after all. He was excited to meet with Sunwoo soon. He was excited to hold his hand again, to hear his voice, to see him. It had been five years but Haknyeon felt like they just started dating. He was crazy for Sunwoo after all.
“Hurrying home?” Eric, Haknyeon’s officemate, asked as he took the folder Haknyeon was giving him,” I’m assuming you have a date?”
“Yeah,” Haknyeon excitedly answered,” With the boyfriend, you know.”
“How long have you been together?” Eric asked.
“Five years.”
“Don’t you get bored with him?”
Haknyeon was surprised with a question like that but he shook his head. He could never get bored of Sunwoo. He was full of charms. He was always sweet to him. He always reassured him. He was funny. He was a complex person. Nothing could make Haknyeon bored of the man he was dating.
“Why did you ask that?” Haknyeon asked Eric.
“Do you know about the five-year curse when it came to relationships?” Eric asked.
“Curse?”
“The first year is always tumultuous. Then the second year is peaceful. Third year is, again, full of obstacles, but you can handle it better because you have experience behind your back. Fourth year, the relationship is peaceful again but the fifth?” Eric raised an eyebrow at Haknyeon,” One or both of you get bored of each other. You start settling down, getting comfortable. The sparks slowly fade. This is where real work happens in a relationship.”
“But I still see the sparks,” Haknyeon argued.
“But does your boyfriend see the same thing you do?” Eric hummed,” Anyway, maybe you two aren’t like other couples. There are people there who are in 50-year-old relationships. Maybe yours will turn out that way.”
“We will,” Haknyeon said, believing in it wholeheartedly,” I’m sure Sunwoo will agree.”
“Sunwoo?”
“Yeah, that’s my boyfriend’s name. Do you know him?” Haknyeon tilted his head. Eric had this unsure expression on his face before smiling again.
“No, nothing,” Eric said,” Now, scurry along. You have a date to go to. You don’t want the boyfriend to wait.”
“Okay, okay,” Haknyeon laughed,” See you tomorrow, Eric!”
“See you…”
Haknyeon was surprised where Sunwoo took him. It was the place where they had their first serious date. He remembered they shared a meal together because that was what they could afford.
“Remember that night?” Sunwoo asked. Haknyeon nodded.
“How can I forget?” he said in a dreamy tone,” It was a funny date but I admit it’s romantic.”
“Of course,” Sunwoo said as he turned the engine off,” I am the romantic Kim Sunwoo.”
“Oh, Woo,” Haknyeon pinched Sunwoo’s arm,” Stop flattering yourself.”
“Am I though?” Sunwoo smirked,” You know that I’m saying the truth.”
“Hmm,” Haknyeon laughed when he saw Sunwoo’s pouting face,” Alright! You are the romantic Kim Sunwoo.”
“And?”
“I’m lucky to have the romantic Kim Sunwoo with me,” Haknyeon pecked Sunwoo’s lips before he went out of the car. He went ahead of Sunwoo to get a table. Sunwoo soon followed him into the restaurant.
“Oh shit,” Sunwoo muttered under his breath,” I did not know food can be this expensive.”
“Sunwoo? Is something wrong?” Haknyeon asked. Sunwoo gave him a fake grin, which Haknyeon understood.
‘This fool,’ Haknyeon thought but he was smiling on the outside,’ Well, what can I expect from Sunwoo?’
“You order first,” Sunwoo said as he pointed at the menu in Haknyeon’s hands,” Then I will.”
“No,” Haknyeon lowered the menu,” How about we pick one dish? Then we can share it.”
“No,” Sunwoo shook his head,” I asked you out. I should be the one treating you to a dish.”
“You are indirectly treating me to one if we order one dish together,” Haknyeon laughed,” Come on. Would you like steak?”
“I want whatever you want. I just want to make you happy tonight.”
“Okay, I admit,” Sunwoo said as he returned the menu to the waiter,” I admit, I wasn’t the perfect Casanova back then but, love, I improved! You have to admit that.”
“And it took… What? Five years?” Haknyeon laughed,” I’ll just wash my hands. Do you want to come?”
“I told you,” Sunwoo raised a pack of wet tissues,” This is enough. Are you sure you still want to go to the bathroom?”
“And I told you that’s not enough, Kim Sunwoo,” Haknyeon groaned,” Alright. Just wait for me here. I’ll be quick.”
After around 10 minutes, Haknyeon headed back to their table. From the bathroom, he noticed that Sunwoo was talking to someone on his phone. He assumed it was a coworker. Sunwoo was, after all, one of the project directors of his company. It was never surprising for Haknyeon to have someone calling during the time they were together. He got used to it.
As soon as Haknyeon sat across Sunwoo, the latter bid farewell to whoever he was talking to and put his phone on the table.
“Who was that?” Haknyeon asked.
“My coworker,” Sunwoo sighed,” Reports for tomorrow aren’t finished yet. I scolded him, told him if he did not finish it, we’ll be screwed.”
Haknyeon was not sure why but there was something off from Sunwoo’s tone.
“One or both of you get bored of each other…”
He shook his head. Why was he bothered by Eric’s words? Haknyeon and Sunwoo’s relationship had been smooth sailing for months. They had not had a serious fight during those months. Sunwoo was still warm towards him, always being the sweet partner that he was.
But then again, why was his phone’s screen faced down?
“My love?”
Haknyeon was surprised to hear Sunwoo call him that. That was the first time he ever did. Sunwoo always said that nicknames were corny for couples. That was why Haknyeon, even though he wanted to call Sunwoo something else, never forced the idea on him.
“What?”
“Corny huh,” Sunwoo looked down,” I just thought… It perfectly fits you.”
“What?”
“You are my love, Haknyeon,” Sunwoo cupped Haknyeon’s cheek,” And I guess I always want to remind you of that through something? Without bombarding you with ‘I love you’s anyway.”
“Geez, you’re so cheesy,” Haknyeon pinched Sunwoo’s nose,” Why not? Then… Can I call you my sun?”
“Sun?”
“Like your name, Sunwoo, you brighten up my life,” Haknyeon laughed,” Is it cheesy?”
“It is,” Sunwoo kissed Haknyeon’s nose,” But I’m okay with it because it’s you.”
“You still wear the ring I gave you?”
Sunwoo raised Haknyeon’s hand. The latter smiled.
“How could I not?”
All of the thoughts Haknyeon had earlier were pushed back. He was happy that Sunwoo noticed the little things Haknyeon did. He was always observant when it came to his boyfriend. Of course, Haknyeon loved the attention Sunwoo showered him with. But Haknyeon also showered Sunwoo with the same amount of attention and with one whiff, Haknyeon knew there was a different scent mixed with his.
“My sun? Did you change your perfume?” Haknyeon asked.
“Hm?” Sunwoo paused for a moment,” My coworker recommended me a perfume, so I sprayed some of it on me for our date. Do you not like it?”
“Any scent fits you,” Haknyeon knew nothing good would happen if he doubted Sunwoo,” So, where are we heading?”
“Hmm,” Sunwoo hummed,” Is it okay if we’d be a bit late to work tomorrow? I want to spend more time with you, my love.”
“Alright,” Haknyeon looked out the car window,” Where do you want to go? Let’s drink?”
“Nope,” Sunwoo chuckled. Haknyeon did love getting drunk. “Let’s go to Han River? It’ll be nice to just take a stroll and the night’s perfect for it.”
“Alright,” Haknyeon looked back at Sunwoo,” I would love that.”
This was their first big fight.
And nothing really compared to how much it hurt Haknyeon to hear Sunwoo’s explanations.
“No, my love,” Sunwoo begged Haknyeon to look at him,” Please… It was a one-time thing. I swear I would never do it again.”
“Sunwoo…” Haknyeon’s voice trailed off. How many times had Sunwoo promised he would never explode in anger like he just did? He lost count. Haknyeon knew Sunwoo had a bad temper. The worst temper Haknyeon ever witnessed, but Sunwoo promised that he would work on that.
But Sunwoo exploded in anger at him.
And for what reason?
Haknyeon did not realize Sunwoo was in a bad mood and was teasing him.
“I’m not… I’m not numb you know,” Haknyeon wanted to scream but he was not the type to do so. He could only tear up. Haknyeon was not the type to get mad. He only felt this sadness in him. He felt sad that Sunwoo got that mad because of him.
Haknyeon felt like it was his fault. If Sunwoo was with another person, would he explode like that?
“I’m sorry, my love…” Sunwoo held Haknyeon’s hands,” I promise. I won’t get mad again.”
“I’m not stopping you from getting mad, Woo.”
“Then what? What do you want me to do?”
“Don’t say those cruel words to me again…” Haknyeon was wiping his tears with his arms,” Don’t say I don’t care for you or I’m not paying attention. I am! I love you, Kim Sunwoo, but why do I always feel like it isn’t enough for you?”
“My love… I’m so…” Sunwoo pulled Haknyeon in a tight embrace,” I’m so sorry. You are always enough for me. You are everything I asked for.”
As the pair walked by the Han River, Haknyeon noticed how Sunwoo’s appearance changed over the years. It was obvious work was taking a toll on him. He had dark circles around his eyes. He was getting thinner. But still, these details weren’t obvious considering that he was still the bundle of sunshine that Haknyeon loved. Their hands were still intertwined with each other as they talked about their lives at work.
“Eric sounds like a slave driver, love,” Sunwoo shook his head,” I hope you get the rest that you deserve.”
“Even though Eric’s like that, he lets me go home early so,” Haknyeon smiled at Sunwoo,” I can spend more time with you.”
Sure, the night was how it always was, but something made Haknyeon feel like it was magic. He felt like he was so lucky to have a man like Sunwoo in his life. Haknyeon did have to have patience with Sunwoo’s temper but it was all worth it. As long as Sunwoo held his hand, as he was at that moment, Haknyeon was sure he could go through any obstacle with him.
Sunwoo was his everything after all. And Sunwoo made Haknyeon feel like he was his everything too.
“How about you? How was work?” Haknyeon asked.
“Ahh,” Sunwoo looked up,” Meetings right and left as if there’s no tomorrow. It doesn’t help that my boss put his nephew under me. That little squirt is spoiled, I can smell it.”
“Name?”
“Chanhee,” Sunwoo groaned,” If you only saw him, oh god, you’ll get mad too.”
“I don’t get mad easily though.”
“That’s my point.”
Sunwoo was cute when he was annoyed. He made these silly faces that Haknyeon could not help but laugh at.
“You laugh at my pain, love. I am hurt,” Sunwoo clutched his chest, feigning heartbreak,” I thought you love me.”
“I do, silly!” Haknyeon gasped,” It’s just… You do get easily annoyed at things.”
“Oh shut up,” Sunwoo pouted,” You may be right but—”
“But?”
“Nothing,” Sunwoo muttered.
“You act like a child, Woo,” Haknyeon pinched his cheek.
“Ow!” Sunwoo reacted,” Don’t treat me like one!”
“You are younger than me,” Haknyeon pointed out.
“And still you bottom—Ow!”
Haknyeon hit the back of Sunwoo’s head.
“And when did I?”
“Just last night,” Sunwoo muttered,” Okay, switch.”
“That’s better,” Haknyeon smiled victoriously.
“You never let me win an argument.”
“Debaters never let themselves lose in an argument, my sun,” Haknyeon laughed,” You’re just bad at it.”
“Unfair,” Sunwoo pouted,” I am always weak against you.”
“Huh? What?”
Haknyeon could not believe what he was hearing from Sunwoo.
“Move in with me? I know we haven’t been dating that long. I mean, it’s been two years but—”
“Of course, I will!” Haknyeon took the key that Sunwoo was dangling in front of him.
“Are you sure? I mean, I am messy,” Sunwoo said, somehow looking like he was doubtful that Haknyeon still wanted him after knowing his at home habits.
“You are still my love,” Haknyeon said as he wrapped his arm around Sunwoo’s,” How about showing me around the place I’m going to move in?”
“My honor.”
It had been a week since that amazing date night. Haknyeon always found himself smiling whenever he remembered it. He pushed back all the doubts he had. Sure, he still noticed how Sunwoo always had his phone faced down. But that wasn’t odd right? Many people do that. He also noticed that Sunwoo’s phone was always busy during lunch breaks. But then again, Sunwoo was a busy man. A lot of people call him. Haknyeon noticed that there was confusion in Sunwoo’s eyes but he always believed that it was about his career, not his relationship with Haknyeon.
“So, how are you and the boyfriend?” Eric asked,” Going strong?”
“Mhm,” Haknyeon nodded,” He gave me a new watch yesterday.”
“I did not know you liked watches.”
“I saw a cute one and said I’d like to buy one for myself someday,” Haknyeon said with a wistful smile,” And he bought one for me.”
“Sweet,” Eric rolled his eyes,” I’d like to have my own Sunwoo someday too.”
Haknyeon sensed the sarcasm in Eric’s tone but he didn’t inquire about it more. Eric was just jealous of whatever Haknyeon had with Sunwoo. He was sure of that. Who wouldn’t be after all? The two of them had been going strong for what… five years?
“Have you ever dated before Sunwoo?” Eric asked.
“No,” Haknyeon shook his head, reaching the coffee mug in front of him.
“How about Sunwoo?”
“I’m not his first,” Haknyeon sipped,” But it isn’t surprising, considering that we were… I was 20 and he was 19 when he asked me out.”
“You were 20 and never had a relationship before?” Eric laughed,” What are you? A priest?”
“Oh shut up,” Haknyeon hissed,” I wanted to wait for the right one.”
“And Sunwoo’s the right one?”
“I know he is,” Haknyeon smiled to himself as he answered that.
“I know you are but what am I?”
“What are you saying?” Haknyeon laughed as he jokingly punched Sunwoo’s arm,” Are you a kid?”
“I know you are but what am I?”
“Yah, Kim Sunwoo!” Haknyeon pinched both of Sunwoo’s cheeks,” You want me to answer that question?”
“Hmm,” Sunwoo stuck his tongue out.
“You are my sun,” Haknyeon kissed Sunwoo’s nose,” You are the love of my life.”
“Who asked you to answer that way?” Sunwoo’s face was growing redder by the minute.
“You asked me to answer,” Haknyeon grinned,” You just didn’t say in what way.”
It was a Sunday.
Sunday meant Haknyeon would expect Sunwoo to sleep in. What he hated about that was Haknyeon would be forced to buy groceries alone. In the morning. For their breakfast.
The perk was the condominium building they were living in had a supermarket on the ground floor. That meant Haknyeon would have an easier time carrying the groceries to their unit.
What did Sunwoo do in return?
Sunwoo was in charge of providing the finances for it. It was just that… For that Sunday morning, Sunwoo forgot to leave money out for Haknyeon. But that was a normal occurrence at that point. Sunwoo was forgetful. Haknyeon always kept that detail in mind. He knew where Sunwoo hid his wallet anyway.
“Where did he…” Haknyeon’s voice trailed off as he opened Sunwoo’s briefcase. Sunwoo hid his wallet, either in his work pants or in his briefcase. Haknyeon already looked through every work pants Sunwoo had in the closet. That was why he was opening Sunwoo’s briefcase.
“There,” Haknyeon said as he raised the wallet,” I finally found it.”
Haknyeon opened the wallet and found his picture in it. He smiled. Being in someone’s wallet was a really precious thing. It meant that he was Sunwoo’s motivation at work. But Haknyeon did not have time to feel sentimental. He had to grocery shop. He immediately took the cash in the wallet and closed it, but a piece of paper flew out of it.
“Huh…?”
Haknyeon crouched down to pick up the paper. He then realized it was not a normal piece of paper. It was an old photo. Haknyeon turned the picture to him and found two familiar faces. Sunwoo was in the picture with his arms wrapped around another man. Haknyeon guessed Sunwoo was 17 or 18 during this time.
But the man with Sunwoo…
The name was at the tip of Haknyeon’s tongue. He was trying to remember who it was. Maybe figuring out who it was would help him figure out why the picture was in Sunwoo’s wallet.
It was a rainy Sunday morning, seven years ago.
Haknyeon thought it was odd that Sunwoo was in the middle of the park near their university without an umbrella or coat or anything. Haknyeon ran to him. Of course, even though he and Sunwoo weren’t exactly the closest of friends during that time, Haknyeon could not ignore a friend in pain.
And Sunwoo was obviously in pain.
“Sunwoo,” Haknyeon called out his name but Sunwoo did not raise his head.
“Sunwoo!” Haknyeon shouted as he approached the younger boy,” Sunwoo, it’s raining. You’ll get sick!”
“What’s the point?” Sunwoo looked up to Haknyeon. Haknyeon did not know how to describe how Sunwoo looked like. He was drenched in rain. His face were red and puffy. His voice sounded hoarse. His eyes were as stormy as the skies above them.
Obviously, something happened that made him look that way.
“Let’s go! We need to dry you off,” Haknyeon said, offering his hand. Sunwoo slapped it away.
“What’s the point?” Sunwoo sounded angry and hurt,” What’s the point when Changmin left me for another man?”
“Changmin…?”
Haknyeon remembered at that moment. His name was Ji Changmin. He was Sunwoo’s first boyfriend. When Haknyeon met Sunwoo for the first time, he was already dating Changmin at that point but something happened and Changmin broke up with Sunwoo. That was why Haknyeon found Sunwoo that morning.
Haknyeon’s hands shook as he realized this. After ignoring the little things, he knew that he could not ignore that photo. Why did Sunwoo still have a couple photo of the two of them? Haknyeon was not the jealous type but he was nervous. He should not be, right? Sunwoo made Haknyeon feel like everything was all right and everything was…
Right?
Sunwoo made Haknyeon feel loved. He always paid attention to him. He always reminded Haknyeon that he loved him.
But why the photo?
As Haknyeon was deep in his thoughts, Sunwoo’s work phone lit up.
Someone was calling.
Haknyeon left the photo on their side table and went to get the phone. He was going to reject the call, in fear that Sunwoo might wake up, but the caller ID caught his attention. All of Haknyeon’s fears suddenly appeared before him. All of the confidence he had in Sunwoo suddenly felt shaky. The phone. The perfume. The calls. His eyes…
Haknyeon raised the phone to his ears. He hoped that all of his thoughts were wrong.
“My sun?”
But they were right.