Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tweek walks briskly through the pumpkin patch shivering slightly as he hurries past a Scarecrow. Tweek can feel the Scarecrow’s eyes following him. It feels as if a thousand ants are crawling across his skin, their little ant legs tracking anxious energy across his flesh. He stops mid step and clenches his eyes shut. He can feel the usual twitches and spasms that inflict his body when his anxieties turn to paranoia.
There is nothing scary behind you, his frantic mind tries to reason, nothing but some pumpkins and a fake plastic scarecrow. It’s not real and it can not hurt you!

The sensation of being watched increases causing Tweek to jump and a small, almost un audible, “Oh God,” slip past his lips. Tweek’s shaking increases. “They’re going to get me.”

His fear is palpable. A creation made real by the paranoid thoughts trying to escape the confines of his mind. He can feel the feeble attempt of his sanity trying to hold fast to reality.

He opens his eyes. “It’s not real, not real, not real,” his urgent whispers implore.

A twig breaks behind him. “Ahhh,” his voice is loud and slightly high pitched.

The movement has stopped but he can hear the Scarecrow breathing and then a slight almost featherlight sensation falls across his shoulders as the Scarecrow reaches for him with its bony fingers. Beads of sweat break out across his face as the thing tightens his grip on him. He can feel the monster's breath now falling against the back of his neck, causing his body to twist away in a last desperate attempt. The thing’s touch is becoming more insistent, more possessive. “no,” Tweek whines.

The Scarecrow isn’t just touching him, no, now he can feel its skeletonized arms wrapping around him and pulling him flush against its warm body. A sense of familiarity fills him, it's almost as if the Scarecrow has tapped into some gnome magic to trick him. It’s taunting him, trying to make him feel safe, and then just when he allows himself to relax, it will attack and take his blood. His blood!

“Tweek.”

Oh, God, Tweek thinks, it knows his name and now …

“ Babe?”

Wait a minute, Oh God! it’s learnt to mimic Craig, and what does that mean? How could it be Mimicking Craig? What did it do to Craig? His paranoia is soon turning into another type of fear all together.

“Honey are you okay?” The Scarecrow Craig thingy wonders.

Tweek turns around ready to lash out at the monster who must be holding his boyfriend captive in some kind of dingy Gnome Jail. Oh, God, what if they are making him sort underpants or something else unsavoury. Tweek shutters at the thought.

“Gah! What did you do to My Craig?” He demands slapping the Craig shaped Scarecrow’s hands away.

An exasperated sigh, “I am Craig.” He slowly very slowly as to not further upset his freaked out boyfriend takes Tweek’s hand. “Tweek, honey how much coffee have you drank tonight?’

Tweek ignores his words and looks down at their conjoined hands. The other’s hand does look like Craig’s hand, but this wouldn’t be the first time the gnomes tried to use Craig against him. It is still possible that this Craig is really the Scarecrow brought to life by some kind of evil Gnome magic, and then transformed to look like Craig. He bites his bottom lip as he lifts his eyes from their hands and onto the Scarecrow Craig’s face. His boyfriends handsome face stares back at him, amusement dances in his green eyes.. “How do I know you’re the real Craig and not an evil Scarecrow brought to life by the gnomes so they can use my blood to make coffee?”

Craig frowns seriously not this again he thinks to himself remembering the whole ‘gnome clone’ debacle he had with Tweek earlier this summer.

“Tweek, honey, think logically about this for a moment. Why would the Gnomes turn me into a Scarecrow to get your blood to make coffee? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Tweek is studying his face- eyes half closed in concentration. “Ngh, because it's almost Halloween.”

“So?” Craig pushes Tweek’s golden curls out of his eyes, “Honey, even if I were an evil scarecrow,” Craig says totally seriously, “ being a Craig I would just fall for your utter adorableness.” He smiles, and squeezes Tweek’s hand. “You’re just too cute, almost like...

Tweek returns the hand squeeze but refuses to smile, “don’t you dare…” he says in a huff.

Craig smirks,”just like a pirate guinea pig,” he sticks his tongue out at Tweek, “ see would the Gnome scarecrow know about Stripe the first being an evil shape shifting Guinea Pirate?”

Tweek frowns thinking about that for a moment. It is one thing he is sure that even the Gnomes wouldn’t know about considering the whole Pirate Stripe thing went down in Peru. Then again it is a story that Craig is quite fond of so it is quite possible the Gnomes may have overheard Craig in their many quests to steal Tweek’s underpants.

Craig laughs and tugs lightly on his hand, “now let's pick a pumpkin before Clyde finds us, “ he lowers his voice to a whisper, “unless you want to spend date night with Clyde sitting between us.

Tweek groans as the memory of last weekend when their single friend invited himself to date night and then proceeded to plop himself in between the two of them. Instead of being curled up safely in Craig’s arms as they watched horror movies, Tweek had to deal with Clyde clinging to him and stealing all the popcorn. Then Craig had asked Tweek to join him in the kitchen to make more popcorn and he thought he was going to finally be alone with his boyfriend but nope Clyde had followed them. Clyde for a lack of a better term had been a total cock block all night. Not that they have actually done anything yet that involved that part of the body but still they could have maybe … As these thoughts enter his head Tweek’s entire face blooms with colour,

Craig pokes at his crimson cheeks, “thinking dirty thoughts about me, again,” he says with a wink.

“Ahhhh Gah! Oh God, pressure.”

“Come on honey, let’s go get a pumpkin before all the good ones are gone.”

Tweek gives him one last wary look before deciding he’s too cute not to be the real Craig and allows himself to be dragged away in the direction of the fattest pumpkins.

The two teens wander around for another thirty minutes until they find the perfect plump round pumpkin which Tweek has cradled in his arms since Craig’s are protectively wrapped around Tweek.

In the distance watching the two hidden behind the Scarecrow are two plump, not so jolly gnomes they shake their little heads and throw their hands into the air as they glare in Craig’s direction. “Curse ye Craig,” the shorter of the two shouts in the couple’s direction as they walk towards the parking lot.

Craig stops and frowns, “did you hear something?”

The blond shakes his head so Craig shrugs and then proceeds to unlock his car.

Chapter Text

The pumpkin sits on top of a bunch of old newspapers taped to the Tuckers kitchen table.
Craig is scooping out the last of the gourds guts placing them onto the newspaper beside the pumpkin.

Tweek is busy salting a baking sheet full of pumpkin seeds that sits on the kitchen counter. A steaming mug of Pumpkin flavoured coffee sits on the counter next to the pan of pumpkins seeds.

Craig takes a sip of his Hot chocolate as he studies the freshly gutted pumpkin.

“Honey, what should we carve?

“Gah, I don’t know?” Tweek puts the pumpkin seeds in the oven and sets the timer above the stove. “Maybe just a nice normal non scary jack o'lantern?”

“Sure, if you want to have the fucking lamest pumpkin in all of South Park. Remember we’re going to enter it into the Pumpkin carving contest. “ he picks up a small carving tool and bends over the Pumpkin. “You know what I think we should do?”

Tweek rolls his eyes anticipating Craig saying a Guinea pig, but Stripe and none of his former name sakes fall from Craig’s lips.

His boyfriend is giving him a cheeky look, when he says in a flirtatious voice, “we should carve a Gnome Scarecrow.”

“Jerk,” Tweek says in a mock hurt voice. He puts his mug down and scans the room for the closest thing to throw at his smart ass sarcastic but oh so cute boyfriend. His eyes fall onto the remains of pumpkins guts sitting in a gooey mess right next to the uncarved pumpkin. A mischievous grin falls across his lips as he walks over to the table.

“Craig,” he says in a sweet syrupy voice. “Can you go get me my coffee?”

Craig looks up from the Pumpkin and at his boyfriend. “ why didn’t you bring it with you?” He asks puzzled.

Tweek at this point is standing directly behind Craig. “Well, because I forgot so...”

Craig gives him a suspicious look.

Tweek just shrugs and then he leans forward slightly resting his head on Craig’s shoulders. He then reaches around Craig. His hands fall into the mess of Pumpkin guts that sits on the table just off to the side.

He nuzzles further into Craig making sure his boyfriend is fully distracted.

“What are you doing?” Craig demands.

“Oh nothing,” Tweek responds sweetly before he scoops up some of the pumpkin guts into his hands and then pushes the mess into his boyfriend's face.

“Tweek, What the fuck?”

Tweek laughs, “just trying to get into the Halloween spirit.”

Craig pushes the chair he is sitting on back and stands. He wipes pumpkin goo from his face, makes a face, and then flips Tweek off, “rude much,” he then turns around and proceeds to smear the very same pumpkin goop Tweek had just flung at him on Tweek’s face.

“Gross,” Tweek wipes at his face.

“You’re gross,” Craig monotone informs.

“Is that so?”

“Totally babe you have pumpkin goo all over your face.”

Tweek leans forward, standing on his toes and proceeds to plant little kisses all over Craig’s face. “ and now so do you.”

“Well,” Craig brushes back blond curls, “ there is only really one thing we can do,” and then he is crashing his lips against Tweek’s lips.

They never did finish carving that pumpkin.

The end!