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“We,” Stated Ashes as they swirled the last few drops of vodka in the bottom of a bottle, “Are out of alcohol.”
“No!” Marius protested loudly, “Please ashes, my love tell me it isn’t so.”
“Marius, keep flirting with me and I’ll garrot you with your own violin strings.”
“Sorry sorry,” Marius muttered.
“Well, we’ll have to refuel!” Johnny exclaimed aghast as if he hadn’t been the one who had drank most of their last three bottles this evening.
Nastya sighed, she was the only one of them who was sober partially because the toy soldier had been missing for a few years and partially because her mechanism didn’t let her get drunk. A damn shame, “We are close to Tim’s home planet. We could always stop there to restock.”
“What year is it tonight?” Tim asked, not particularly keen on running into himself.
Ivy checked her watch, “2019, there’s an upcoming plague but other than that should be fine, just don’t touch any of the locals.”
“Twenty nineteen… oh wait you guys I know a place,” Tim shot up, “Nastya take us in please! Straight to London.”
Nastya nodded easily.
“Hey, I’m in charge here!” Johnny complained.
“You want liquor D’Ville?”
Johnny huffed, “Fine.”
***
They soon arrived, Raph and Ivy had opted to stay on the ship, and they, Nastya, and Aurora were going to make a date night of it.
“Disgusting,” Johnny complained.
“Agreed,” Ashes nodded.
“They did wait until we were all leaving,” Brian pointed out, "And you already knew they were together."
“That’s so not the point,” Johnny said with an eye roll, they all came to a stop on the pavement outside the pub.
“Karaoke?” Johnny squinted at the neon sign, “Is that that fried squid stuff?”
“Did they not have karaoke on New Texas?” Tim asked curiously.
“No, we ate dried meat and exclusively dried meat unless you were rich and then we just guillotined you.”
“It’s not a food,” Tim groaned, “it’s… how did you put it? Every night...”
“‘Every Night Is A Fucking Sing Song’,” A familiar voice quoted cheerfully, Tim turned to look and there was the toy soldier, striding toward them, “At Least I Think That's The Phrase He Used!”
“Toy soldier!” Marius exclaimed running toward it excitedly, throwing his arms around its neck.
“Oh now it shows up not last week when I wanted to-” Johnny cut himself off as if realizing he was speaking out loud.
“You can say you wanted to cuddle it, we won’t judge,” Tim teased, remembering last week when Johnny had spent an entire evening sitting on his boyfriends’ laps all while seeming deeply dissatisfied because the one he really wanted was the toy soldier.
Johnny crossed his arms, “Shut up, all of you are too warm, it’s cool.”
“You calling us hot?” Brain asked pleasantly.
“Oh my god shut up,” He groaned.
Ashes rolled their eyes, “Here let me. Hi, TS, Great to see you. This is a bar where drunk people sing, D’ville. Now can we all just go inside?”
“Sounds Lovely!” Toy Soldier said cheerfully.
They made their way inside, a horrible rendition of a song already taking place.
“I don’t wanna die, but I sometimes wish I’d never been born at aaaaaaaall!” The person on stage’s pained scream gave way to a guitar solo.
“Oh fuck yeah!” Johnny said excitedly pulling out a pen and paper, “They sound miserable, Marius, come on, when they get off stage we’ll see if they have a story.”
“Aye aye,” Marius said, picking up a violin off their table that Tim was sure he hadn’t seen Marius bring.
“How did you know about this place?” Brian asked, “I thought 2019 was long before your time?”
“It is but I had a job here before the war. Me and Bertie did,” He gifted out a laugh and continued, “I remembered the owner said it was established in 2003 or 2009 or something. It looks different obviously but still a karaoke bar, future, and present………. Well! Time for some more alcohol to drown the memories!”
“Here, here,” Ashes said walking toward the bar, they came back a few minutes late with two full bottles.
***
“...I guess you didn’t know it but I’m a fiddle player too, and if you care to take a dare I’ll make a bet with you!” Johnny sang onstage and he was so pretty.
He was grinning like a madman because he had chosen to sing Devil Went Down To Georgia and that song had been written about him drunkenly challenging himself to a musical competition a few hundred adventures ago during which Tim the alcohol had miraculously made him better at playing the fiddle than usual (Marius always did say he was just too stiff with the bow). Jonny loved to sing this every time they were on earth, the glee in his voice was obvious.
“I think I’m in love with him,” Tim sighed.
“You are,” Brian assured him, “What that even in question at this point?” His voice was distorted in that way that meant he too was drunk off his ass, his heart and blood were the only things in him that were still human and were apparently enough for the alcohol to affect.
Marius was on his lap, drooling, asleep.
Tim grinned, “Oh god you’re all pretty.”
“Tim?” The toy soldier asked getting up suddenly, after staring at the stage for a long few moments, “Would You Like To Go Stand In Front Of The Stage With Me? I Do Believe That He Will Either Fall Or Jump Off The Stage Soon And I Would Prefer If He Was Caught By You Or I.”
Tim took a glance over and saw that a small group of women and men equally had stumbled their way to the front of the stage probably trying to get Jonny's attention. Tim rolled his eyes.
“Jeaaaaalousss,” Ashes teased.
“I Simply Don’t See That He Needs Any Of These People When We Are All Right Here,” It said defensively.
“Johnny rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard!” Johnny sang loudly from onstage.
“Let’s go,” Tim agreed, standing up and pressing a quick kiss to its cheek.
As predicted after another minute or so Jonny tumbled off the stage and landed in the Toy Soldier’s waiting arms.
“Ow that-! Oh, you, you’re back,” Johnny sighed into the microphone which Tim plucked from his hand.
“Hey I wasn’t- Oh you as well,” Johnny smiled.
“I Do Believe It’s Time We All Went Home.”
He shook his head and tried to hope out of the Toy Solider's arms, “I can’t I still have another song and it will make Brian and Marius smile, Ashes will think I’m dumb but that's just cause we aren’t dating.”
“Marius is asleep,” Tim told him as the Toy Soldier refused to release him and began to carry him back to the table.
“You Could Always Sing It To Us On The Way Home!” It suggested brightly.
“Stop making that face,” He complained loudly, “I’ll only sing it on the way home if you stop doing that face.”
“Dear This Is My Usual Face!”
“'Zactly, and It’s making me feel soft emotions, I demand it stop immediately. You too, with the smiling,” He gestured vaguely at Tim’s face.
“You guys heading home?” Ashes asked.
“Yes! Will You Be Joining Us?”
"No I made a few friends and we're going to sneak into the zoo and steal a giraffe. I'll be back eventually."
"Have fun, " Brain told them as they strolled away to join a group of drunks who were wearing shirts that said, "Steal the Giraffe 2k19".
Tim let Brian put the still half asleep Marius on his back because he was the only one who walked softly enough to keep Marius calm while moving.
As they stepped out into the cool night air Johnny started singing again, sleepily almost, "When I wake up, we'll I/know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you. And when I go out, well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you."
Johnny stumbled over the words but it was clear he knew this song well, "But I would walk five hundred miles and I would walk five hundred more, just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door."
Brian looked at him with quiet wonder and Tim did as well.
Jonny was such a sappy idiot.
***
"It has been relayed to me by Ashes and the giraffe in engineering that we went out last night and I have decided that whatever happened last night I don't want to fucking hear about it, " Jonny announced as he came into the mess hall the next morning.
"You serenaded us as we walked through the London streets, " Brain said with a grin.
"I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"
"Also the Toy Soldier is back but it's busy being revarnished by Marius, " Tim told him.
"Wait, shit, it is?! Toy soldier!" He ran out of the room calling for it. Tim laughed as he heard Marius screech in shock and the sound of a varnish can clattering to the floor.
"And on that note, I should be getting to the helm, " Brian stood and dropped a kiss to Tim's cheek and walked out.