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Chapter Text

Six

A six year old human is more observant than most adults give them credit for. They notice things that older, arguably wiser people wouldn’t even give a second look to. This is why, when a small girl rang the doorbell of the Noceda household and said the obligatory words of “trick or treat”, the first thing six year old Luz did was frown.

What greeted her eyes was a trio of siblings, she guessed, the youngest the ginger-haired girl who’d rung the doorbell, who was accompanied by two older siblings with matching green hair. All three of them were dressed as witches, with robes and pointy hats to match.

The reaction was apparently not what the ginger-haired girl or her two green haired siblings expected, for she cowered slightly away from Luz while the siblings frowned back. 

Granted, the human girl had a reason to react this way, since, number one, it wasn’t even dark out yet, and number two, the trio’s parents were nowhere to be seen. The twins, Luz had decided that they looked too alike to not be twins, were eight or nine at most, and the smaller ginger-haired girl cowering in front of her looked to be the same age as Luz. 

“It’s super early, I don’t think Mami even has the candy out yet.”

This was said matter of factly, not with the biting or rude tone that the ginger-haired girl was probably expecting. She glanced away from her feet, looking up at Luz with wide golden eyes.

That was the next thing she noticed, how her eyes were an unnaturally bright amber shade, and slightly reflective like their cat, King’s.

“We can come back later, then.”

Her voice was high and clear and pretty, Luz thought, kind of like bells, and there was a note of shyness in it. The twins crossed their arms defensively, apparently trying to intimidate the human girl. Luz just poked her tongue between the gaps in her teeth, thinking.

“No it’s okay, I’ll just get the candy from her and come right back.”

With that, she shut the door gently and ran into the kitchen, where her mother was making empanadas for Halloween dinner. She glanced up as her daughter ran in.

“What is it, mija?”

“There’s some trick or treaters outside, and I don’t know where the candy basket is!”

Camila looked down at her flour covered watch and frowned.

“Mija, it’s barely even 4:30. Is this another ploy to get the candy basket?”

Luz shook her head rapidly, a gap-toothed grin breaking out on her face. She put a hand on her heart and adopted a solemn expression, but the traces of her grin still remained.

“I swear, it’s no trick!”

Her mother smiled fondly and dusted her hands off, reaching up to remove the candy basket from the top of the fridge. She handed it to Luz, who thanked her and ran back towards the door.

Holding the basket awkwardly under one arm, she reached up and turned the knob again, revealing the trio still standing there, ginger-haired girl scuffing the welcome mat with her foot. She looked up as the door creaked open.

“I found the candy!”

The girl giggled at Luz’s expression, as the human was wiggling her eyebrows and that gap-toothed grin had reappeared.

“What kind do you want?”

“What… kind?”

She seemed a little lost, and the twins just looked at each other, apparently also at a loss. Luz frowned again.

Now studying the three again up close, she noticed that they all had pointy ears, probably part of their witch costume, but the choice didn’t make much sense to Luz. Besides, she could’ve sworn that the elder sister’s ear had just twitched.

“Ya know, chocolate or fruity candy.”

“Oh.”

The girl tapped her chin, and looked at Luz once more when she’d made her decision.

“I’ll have… chocolate.”

Grinning again, she dug her hand into the candy basket and rooted around for a familiar red wrapper, a triumphant expression on her face as she secured her prize. Luz stuck her hand out and offered it to the girl, who took it somewhat hesitantly.

“It’s a Kit Kat, my favorite.”

She took the Kit Kat from Luz and dropped into her bag, a smile creeping onto her face. The twins declined her offer of more Kit Kat’s, opting instead for some Jolly Ranchers. 

“Thanks for coming… er-”

“My name’s Amity.”

Luz beamed, much to the girl’s surprise, and her siblings chuckled a little.

“That’s a really pretty name! I’m Luz.”

Amity cast her eyes down, a blush and a shy expression spreading across her face. She murmured her thanks, gaze still stubbornly fixed on her feet. Her older brother piped up.

“My name’s Edric, and that’s Emira, though everyone just calls us Ed and Em.”

The elder sister just nodded and tugged on Ed’s arm. He swatted her playfully, and waved goodbye to Luz, while Amity followed close behind them. The ginger-haired girl looked back, and Luz was once again struck by just how bright those eyes were. 

She watched the trio walk away until their forms disappeared on the horizon.

They’re strange….. but I like strange!

~~~

Seven

The time was eerily similar to what it’d been last year when Luz had heard the first ring of her doorbell. Glancing up at the clock on the wall adjacent to her, the time read 4:32 pm, still much too early for trick or treating.

Could it be…?

Luz opened the door hastily, nearly smacking her head on the doorknob, and was greeted with the familiar but time-faded faces that she’d seen last year. 

The siblings, who she remembered as Amity, Edric, and Emira, stood on the front porch with their candy bags raised. Each of them wore the same witch outfit they’d had on last year. The ginger-haired girl smiled at Luz.

“Trick or treat.”

“Amity!”

She adopted that same shy expression, golden eyes that Luz swore she’d never forget shining with happiness.

“You remembered.”

“Of course I did!”

In a fit of inspiration, she lunged forward and wrapped her arms around the girl, who dropped her candy bag and tensed up. Amity clenched her hands by her sides, and Luz released her hastily, cheeks burning with shame.

“I’m sorry, I didn't know that you don’t like hugs.”

Amity looked a little confused and opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Emira.

“Our parents aren’t super affectionate.”

“Oh.”

Luz took an awkward step back, unsure of what to say, but then remembered the basket of candy sitting on the coffee table. She all but ran back into the house and grabbed the candy, taking a deep breath before reopening the door. Trying for her best smile, Luz held the basket out to them.

“What’d you guys want?”

For the second time that night, the ginger-haired girl broke out into a smile, and a relieved expression crossed Luz’s face.

“A Kit Kat. I really like them.”

She let out a surprised laugh and beamed, grin still gap-toothed, only now there were different teeth missing. Luz dug around the basket and pulled out two of the red wrappers and handed them to Amity. The girl raised an eyebrow while Ed and Em exchanged a look.

“Two for you, but don’t tell anyone or they’ll get jealous!”

Amity laughed, late afternoon sun catching on her hair and making it look like fire. 

She was really pretty.

“Thank you, Luz.”

“You remembered!”

“Of course I did.”

Edric and Emira leaned forward and each grabbed a couple Jolly Ranchers, and Ed mimed zipping his lips shut while Luz giggled. The four of them fell quiet as a comfortable silence settled between them. Luz gestured behind her, not wanting to say goodbye yet.

“Do you want to come inside? I’m sure that Mami will be okay with it.”

The siblings looked at each other, weighing their options, but it was Amity who spoke up.

“We’d love to.”

Luz beamed and led them inside, a new feeling rising in her chest.

~~~

Ten

The Blights, Luz had learned their last name the Halloween before, were a strange family. Each of the past four years, they’d shown up in front of the Noceda household around 4:30, with the same costume, picking out the same candy.

For the past three years, they’d joined Luz and Camila in the living room after she’d invited them inside. The first year of this new tradition, the Blight siblings had stared at common household items, such as the house phone, while taking great care to avoid personal questions. 

For the past two years, they’d watched a Halloween movie at Luz’s insistence, who was shocked that the Blights had never seen The Nightmare Before Christmas. Amity had enjoyed that movie immensely, to Luz’s delight, having stared wide-eyed at the screen nearly the entire time.

Last year, she made them watch Coco, which wasn’t really a Halloween movie, but Camila wasn’t able to refuse Luz’s puppy dog eyes. 

Amity cried nearly the whole movie, and Luz was pretty sure that she’d teared up near the end as well. Though, the experience was a whole lot more enjoyable with the ginger-haired girl pressed against her side under the Noceda’s fuzziest blanket. It was a soft orange thing, covered with cartoon pumpkins, edges frayed where King had clawed at them.

Said cat in question had curled up by the fireplace and napped throughout the entire movie, purring occasionally in his sleep. Luz still remembered how Amity’s eyes had widened the first time she saw King, but the cat took a liking to the girl and sat in her lap throughout all of Nightmare Before Christmas.

But, even though many tears were shed, last Halloween had been Luz’s favorite.

(It certainly had nothing to do with the warm feeling that filled her stomach when Amity had snuggled closer into her side).

This year, however, was turning out a little different.

This year, Amity had turned up in front of her door without the usual presence of Edric and Emira. 

This year, Amity seemed uncharacteristically nervous as Luz stood in front of her with a frown on her face.

“Where’s Ed and Em?”

She scuffed her feet against the doormat and made an irritated sound in the back of her throat.

“They decided that as thirteen-year olds, they’ve outgrown trick or treating. And, they wanted to go to some party.”

“That’s a dumb reason to abandon your sister.”

“That’s what I said!”

Despite herself, Luz laughed at the indignant look on Amity’s face. She smiled back, though it was sadder than Luz was used to seeing. For a ten-year old, the features on her face looked weary, an expression she was all too used to seeing on her mother.

It looked wrong on Amity.

“Hey, don’t look so down! We can still curl up on the couch and you can pet King, and we can watch another Halloween movie! I’ll even let you pick.”

The ginger-haired girl smiled, and a hopeful look gleamed in her eyes.

“While that sounds great, I was wondering…. would you like to come trick or treating with me this year?”

Luz was taken aback a little, and after not responding for a couple of moments, Amity started to panic.

“Or not! I mean I don’t really care, we can just-”

She broke out into a grin and started bouncing on her toes, excitement throwing herself forward and into Amity’s arms. The girl froze up again, face going red, before tentatively wrapping her arms around Luz. Just as quickly, Luz stepped back and started bouncing again, grin threatening to split her face.

“You want to go trick or treating with me?!”

Still recovering, Amity could only nod.

“I’ve never been before!”

This was true, Luz had spent all her Halloweens with Amity ever since Camila had decided that she was old enough to go out trick or treating. That first Halloween the Blights had come, Luz was too busy recounting their talk, and also doodling the siblings so she wouldn’t think they were a dream. The trio had taken up the rest of her Halloween’s, and going trick or treating seemed dull in comparison to talking with Amity.

But now, I get to go trick or treating with Amity! Double win!

“Not even after I left?”

“Nope.”

That reminds me…

“I don’t even have a costume, though.”

Amity frowned, rubbing her chin in thought. She felt herself deflate a little, excitement leaking out of her body.

“What’ve you got in your closet?”

Luz felt an idea form, and she suddenly broke out into a grin. The ginger-haired girl looked puzzled.

“What?”

She grabbed Amity’s hand and pulled her inside, a small sound of surprise escaping the other girl’s mouth. 

“Come on!”

~~~

“Luz, absolutely not.”

“Why?!”

“One, those are pyjamas. Two, Halloween costumes are supposed to be spooky.”

“Those are dumb rules!”

Luz flipped the hood of her otter onesie over her head and bared her teeth, eliciting a giggle from Amity.

“See, I’m scary. I’m a were-otter!”

The witch, Amity still wore that same costume, sighed and pulled the hood off of her head. Her fingers brushed through Luz’s hair, and she let out a small sigh.

“Cute, but not what we’re looking for.”

Luz pouted.

“And don’t use the puppy dog eyes on me, you know they only work on Ed!”

Amity turned towards the closet and pulled it open, rifling through her clothes and assorted abandoned items. Luz watched as she made a noise of satisfaction, pulling out an old white sheet from the forgotten depths of her closet. The witch held it out to Luz.

“You can be a ghost!”

She raised an eyebrow.

“That’s just an old sheet, Ami.”

The ginger-haired girl blushed a furious shade of red at the nickname, pulling up the sheet to hide her face. Luz laughed at the sight. She crossed the room and pulled the sheet away from Amity’s face, looking into the other girl’s golden eyes. She held Luz’s gaze for a moment, before letting out a small cough and averted her eyes towards the floor.

Strange.

“Well, you can cut eyeholes, and then drape it over you. I’ve seen other kids do it.”

She took the sheet from Amity, and raced over to her desk, pulling a pair of safety scissors from a half-open drawer. Grabbing them, Luz snipped them in the air a couple times, grinning at the girl.

Amity smiled back, a soft look in her eyes that the other girl didn’t catch.

~~~

And so, this was how the pair found themselves running down the sidewalk, giggling wildly, Luz’s sheet fluttering behind her just like a real ghost’s would, or so Amity had told her.

Their candy bags swayed with them as they ran from house to house, childish energy never ceasing. 

The night grew colder, and at some point on their journey Amity had laced her fingers with Luz’s. She’d kept her eyes straight forward, not meeting the other girl’s curious gaze from the eyeholes of the sheet. 

Luz ignored the fluttery sensation in her stomach at the feeling of the witch’s smaller hand intertwined with hers. She contributed the feeling to the cold, or the exertion, or any other reason besides the true one.

Not that she knew exactly what the feeling was in her chest, regardless. 

As the moon crested ahead of them, and she tuned into the sound of Amity’s breath besides her, Luz realized just how late it had gotten.

“Ami?”

“Hmmm.”

“We should head back. Mami’s probably worried about us.”

The witch stopped suddenly, pale face growing whiter. Luz couldn’t tell if it was because of the moon or fear.

“My parents will be as well. I didn’t realize… it got late.”

Fear, then.

The two, understanding of their tardiness dawning upon them, broke into a sprint back towards Luz’s house. Several breathless minutes later, she sighed in relief when the familiar form of her house loomed in the distance.

As the house grew clearer, Luz spotted King, who meowed at them from the front porch, apparently announcing their arrival. He hissed at her, and she was puzzled by his behavior until she realized that the sheet was still over her head. Luz tugged it off as they approached the house. When they reached the porch, she leaned over and gave the cat a few head scratches, and he purred in contentment.

“Good boy, waiting for us! Was Mami worried?”

King meowed again, almost in conformation.

Amity and Luz shot each other sheepish grins, and the cat managed to somehow look unimpressed. She realized that Amity’s hand was still laced with hers.

Luz dropped it, heat flooding her face.

She didn’t notice how the ginger-haired girl’s own face fell, disappointment shining in those golden eyes. 

Amity let out an awkward cough. 

King meowed again.

“So, I really should get going.”

She turned towards the girl, a sorrowful look on both of their faces. Amity shuffled her feet, clearly hesitant to leave Luz. 

“I guess you should.”

Without warning, Luz dropped her candy bag and wrapped her arms around the girl, who returned the hug with equal fervor.

Like she was expecting it.

Warmth filled her chest, chasing away the cold and the sadness, leaving nothing but…. Well, she didn’t know what it was, but it was some positive emotion. 

When the two parted, and Amity left with quiet goodbyes and a little wave, Luz felt a pang of loss in her chest. The intensity of it caught her off guard.

She forced herself not to run after the girl’s retreating form.

At least there’s always next year.

~~~

Twelve

It’s all real.

All of it.

Monsters, ghosts, demons… witches.

Luz lay on her bed, eyes trained towards the ceiling. 

The idea of sleep was almost laughable at this point. 

I’ve known her for half my life.

Half my life!

How did I not realize before now?

In truth, Luz’s observational skills had somewhat deteriorated over the years, having become accustomed to Amity’s… stranger qualities.

Once again, she made a mental checklist in her head, trying to convince herself that she wasn’t going insane.

The pointed ears.

The unnaturally golden eyes.

The tendency to avoid personal questions.

The strange fascination over common household items, like phones.

The fact that I only see her on Halloween.

The fact that she doesn’t attend my school, despite it being the only one within the next hundred miles.

The… fangs.

Luz shivered, a chill running through her. Amity’s fangs were a recent addition to all the strange little things she’d picked up on over the years. 

It was also her snapping point.

Really, she wasn’t proud of how she acted.

~~~

The pair of them had been out trick or treating when Luz cracked a particularly bad joke. Amity had tried so hard to hide it, but a wide grin broke through on her face when she’d laughed. There gleamed two long, wickedly sharp fangs in place of normal canines.

Luz had stared at them, transfixed.

“Fangs seem like an odd choice for a witch costume, Ami. You’re usually so consistent.”

The witch had looked confused at first, but then went as pale as the sheet of Luz’s ghost costume, (which she’d developed a habit of wearing), as understanding dawned upon her.

Luz watched her face shift into several different emotions, before adopting a mask of calm. Amity’s voice was level as she’d answered, with an underlying quiver to it.

“I wanted to try something different.”

At that moment, Luz realized that the ginger-haired girl was lying to her. She felt a spark of anger pang in her chest.”

“I get the pointy ears, I guess that’s witch-like.”

Amity was silent.

“I can even understand the eyes, I suppose that they could be contacts. After all, no one has that shade of gold naturally. But they look so real, Ami.”

A cold breeze ripped past the pair, turning the space between them frosty.

“But the fangs, I don’t understand them. What witch costume has fangs?” 

“I-”

“Something different, I got it. It doesn’t make sense to me, though.”

Luz looked over to Amity, who’s pointy ears had dropped. As Luz studied her oddly silent friend, it took her a second to discern the expression on the girl’s face. It wasn’t anger, or bashfulness, or even even evasion.

It was fear.

She felt a swoop of guilt in her stomach.

Is she afraid of me?

But Luz couldn’t stop. She couldn’t stop now, not when she was so close to knowing. She was tired of not knowing.

“Why do I only see you on Halloween? Why didn’t you know what chocolate was that first year? Where do you go to school?”

Amity took a step back, obviously frightened by Luz’s boldness. The witch shivered, rubbing at the goosebumps on her pale arms.

“Why do you always tense up when I hug you, or… hold your hand?”

Her voice cracked halfway through the question, desperation leaking through. Pulling the sheet from her head, she looked Amity dead in the eyes, chocolate brown searching for an answer in golden ones. Luz watched a tear slip down her moonlit face.

“Ami?”

The ginger-haired girl furiously wiped at her face, sniffing once. Those golden eyes left hers as Amity set her gaze firmly on the sidewalk. Her voice was so quiet that Luz almost missed the words.

“I’m not- not…”

The words seemed to die in the distance between them.

“Not what?”

Seconds stretched into hours as the girl tried to find her words again.

“I’m not who you think I am, Luz. I’m not even… human .”

Luz inhaled sharply, like a scab being ripped off a wound. Amity practically cowered in front of her, face filled with pain and uncertainty.

I didn’t-

I couldn’t have heard that right.

But in a sick way, it made sense.

The ginger-haired girl rushed to explain, words tripping over each other as Luz just stood there, numb.

“It’s all real! All the creatures in your stories, all the… monsters, they’re real. The demons, the ghosts, the witches, are all real.”

Amity looked terrified, but couldn’t seem to stop herself.

“My family, Ed and Em and my parents and I, we’re witches. Luz, I’m…”

Her voice softened again, bitterness plain in the cold air.

“I’m a monster.”

Luz managed to properly register those painful words, shaking herself out of the haze Amity’s confession had put her in. She murmured quietly, almost to herself.

“You’re not a monster, Ami. You’re my friend.”

Foolishly, seeking to comfort both the shivering girl and herself, she reached out to Amity. Instantly, she stumbled away from Luz, putting a good few feet between them. Amity crossed her arms across her chest defensively.

“How can you say that?! You- you barely know me! You’ve spent hardly six days with me, over the course of six years.”

Luz felt the air leave her lungs at that, like a sucker punch to the gut. In truth, that might’ve hurt less.

“You know nothing about my home life, how I spend my days! If my parents knew where I was, who I was with, they’d never let me leave the house again.”

She was silent for a moment.

“Yes, but I know you .”

The words felt like a quiet admission of something, some wild thing that ran rampant in Luz’s chest.

It was still between the two of them.

Amity’s eyes snapped up from the pavement towards the horizon when a neighbor’s dog began barking at a few trick or treaters. 

“I shouldn’t be here.”

Luz watched helplessly as the witch drew a circle in the air, shadows bending and warping around her. In the blink of an eye, Amity was completely enveloped, and then she was gone.

The wind howled around the lone girl, whipping at Luz’s sheet. Forcing her feet to move after a few moments, she slowly started down the sidewalk. In a haze, she managed to find her way back to the house, ignoring her mother’s welcome. 

She’d collapsed on the bed, where she now lay-

Hurting.

Chapter Text

Thirteen 

In all honesty, Luz didn’t expect Amity to show up that Halloween.

Doesn’t mean that I don’t want to see her.

Because she did.

After all, a year is a long time. Many days, many months to think, many months to process. It’s plenty of time to come to terms with your entire worldview being rocked on its axis. 

But now, Luz seemed to see monsters all around her.

A shadow that appeared out of place, twisted into a smirking form with claws. A ghostly howl late at night, perhaps belonging to the creatures in the woods behind her house. Sometimes, she’d see King’s form slinking around, and fear would grip her heart. 

That is, until he jumped up onto her lap, purring comforts that eased Luz. Sometimes, in peaceful, domestic moments like these, she questioned her sanity.

But if insanity ment Amity existed, then she supposed it was okay.

She’d joined the fantasy club at school in effort to learn perhaps something else about her strange friend. Luz’s efforts were in vain, but she did meet a sweet girl named Willow, who was perhaps a bit obsessed with plants. Willow had then introduced her to Gus, a boy who was unbelievably smart, having skipped a few grades.

For the first time, Luz had friends just as crazy as she was. And she didn’t want to lose them. 

So, she neglected to mention Amity, or any of the other Blights, or witches in general.

It was a strange feeling that had settled in her gut over the months, one of happiness over finding Willow and Gus, but she didn’t feel content. Luz was… missing… something.

That something’s name started with “A” and rhymed with “calamity”.

In the late hours, when her mind wouldn’t rest, she set pencil to paper, drawing the witch again and again. She’d sketched countless Amitys, from grinning ones that made Luz smile, to angry ones, fangs bared and eyes narrowed. 

Sometimes, she’d draw the witch wrapped in shadows, pain drawn onto her features. Sometimes, tears would mix with dark graphite, staining the paper.

Even after the long months, it still hurt.

~~~

Still, after what’d happened a year ago, Luz didn’t expect Amity to turn up in front of her door.

But things were different now.

Things had changed.

One, it was late. Not too terribly late, only about 8:30. Kids still walked up and down the streets, candy bags growing heavier with each stop. But, it was late for Amity.

It was late enough for a weight to settle on Luz’s chest, late enough as to where her smile dropped with every trick or treater showing up that wasn’t Amity. 

When the doorbell chimed softly, she’d sighed and run a hand through her hair, opening the door with no enthusiasm. 

Golden eyes locked with brown ones as Luz registered who she was seeing. 

It was Amity, but it also wasn’t.

Mint green hair replaced the ginger she’d become accustomed to, drawn back into that same neat half-ponytail. Black polish adorned close-cropped nails, and fingers trembled as Amity drew her hand away from the door. Uncertainty painted her face, and Luz was thrown back seven years, to how Amity had looked when she opened the door for the first time.

She still wore that same costume, however, a fact that Luz found a strange sort of comfort in. Her Amity wasn’t completely gone. 

“Luz…”

Her voice almost sounded reverent, but trailed off as the wind racked her small frame, robes billowing around her. The witch crossed her arms, shivering.

“Ami, please come inside.”

She didn’t mean for her voice to come out pleading. 

Amity hesitated, but slowly moved towards Luz as another bitter gust of wind blew past her. She stopped, mere inches away, so close that Luz could count her eyelashes, see the different flecks of yellow in her eyes. 

Tentatively, as to not scare the witch, she reached out and rested her hand on Amity’s arm. Her skin was soft, slightly chilled from the wind, but solid and very much there.

“You’re real.”

Luz felt like crying, relief breaking through on her face. Without thinking, she pulled the other girl into a tight embrace, clutching onto her like a lifeline. 

It took her a couple moments to realize that Amity wasn’t returning the hug. She stood as stiff as a board against Luz, hands hovering awkwardly in the air. 

The witch finally rested her hands on Luz’s forearms, pulling away gently. She felt her heart snap a little at the expression on Amity’s face.

“Ami…?”

Those golden eyes were bright, too bright, and she realized that tears had welled up in them. It felt like a knife had been buried in her gut. 

Luz wanted-

She wanted- 

She didn’t know what she wanted.

“Luz… I’m sorry.”

The words didn’t make sense in her head.

I should be the one apologizing.

“Sorry for what?”

Amity shifted, scuffing her feet against the welcome mat, a tear falling. 

“I can’t visit you anymore.”

The knife twisted, burrowing deeper, serrated edges sawing her apart. She felt herself take a step back, hitting the wall behind her, mind reeling. The feeling in her chest went so much deeper than pain.

Luz felt her lips move, disconnected from her thoughts.

“Why not?”

Amity swallowed.

“I’m too old. I look out of place now. At least, that’s what my parents told me.”

It felt like rejection.

“They said it’s for my own safety.”

Amity’s hands trembled by her side, clenched into tight fists. Luz wanted to hold them, to tuck them close to her chest, to let her breath ghost over them and rub them between her own hands, to warm them up. The thoughts surprised her, and her eyes snapped up to meet Amity’s.

“Ami-”

“Luz, please. Let me go.”

She wanted to go back, back a few years, to when it was simpler. To when the witch smiled at her with abandon, to when she was oblivious to the ever present feelings growing inside of her.

“No.”

Amity looked surprised at the almost growl-like quality of Luz’s voice.

She felt a sting of guilt.

“It’s not my choice. Believe me… I would stay if I could.”

“You can.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me!”

For a fleeting second, Luz realized why some people considered hate and love almost identical emotions. As a fire burned in her, Amity seemed to shrink away from the heat in her gaze.

“I need to go. My parents are expecting me back.”

Her voice was small, but cold, unfeeling.

Without another word, their gaze broke, the witch turning away from her. Luz found herself unable to say anything, unable to swallow the lump in her throat. Amity retreated down the porch, down the sidewalk, eventually melting in with the shadows. 

I… 

Luz sank to her knees. Hot tears ran down her face, warming her wind chilled face where they traced. 

It did feel like rejection.

Please, tell me you’ll come back.

Please, tell me that it didn’t end like this.

~~~

Fourteen

For the first time in eight years, Amity hadn’t shown up at Luz’s door on Halloween.

Camila had rested a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, sad expression only a fraction of the heartbroken one on Luz’s face. 

“Mija, it’s midnight. I don’t think she’s coming.”

The gentle words did nothing to erase the ache in her chest.

~~~

Fifteen

She’d waited again.

…

Nothing.

~~~

Sixteen

Torn up drawings littered Luz’s room, the waste basket already overflowing with crumpled pieces of paper.

She wanted to purge every trace of her.

Broken glass lay across her floor, from where she’d shattered a framed picture of the Blight siblings her mother had taken eight years ago.

Anger coursed through her, fueling the destructive hurricane that ripped through her room. 

As the rage eventually dulled into a numb, throbbing pain, Luz sat heavily on her bed, rubbing the sheet of that old ghost costume with her thumb. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t bring herself to tear it apart. 

With shaking hands and tears in her eyes, she pulled up Willow’s contact and hit the call button.

“Yeah?”

Her voice wavered as she spoke.

“Willow, I need to tell you something. You might want to sit down.”

~~~

Seventeen

Willow 6:19 pm: Get your ass off the couch, we’re going to a party.

Luz 6:19 pm: no

Willow 6:20 pm: I know you hate Halloween, but you’ve got to stop brooding over your angsty, witch ex-girlfriend.

Willow 6:20 pm: I’m doing you a favor

Luz 6:21 pm: willow, no

Luz 6:22 pm: she wasn’t even my girlfriend 

Willow 6:23 pm: Ok, but you still act like you went through a bad breakup, and you get moody every Halloween.

Luz 6:23 pm: 😤

Luz 6:23 pm: is there any point in arguing with you?

Willow 6:23 pm: Nope

Luz 6:24 pm: great

Luz 6:24 pm: who’s party

Willow 6:24 pm: Boscha’s 

Luz 6:24 pm: boscha… you’re kidding me, right?

Luz 6:25 pm: you do realize that she hates you 

Willow 6:25 pm: I’ll have you know, she personally invited me.

Luz 6:25 pm: wtf

Willow 6:26 pm: I thought it was a joke at first, but I think she was actually serious. She was acting really weird about it.

Luz 6:26 pm: i stg if you hook up with Boscha, I’m going to kill you

Willow 6:27 pm: Oh god no. 

Willow 6:28 pm: Don’t distract me, I’m still making you go. It’s a new life experience, and you need to get out of the house.

Luz 6:28 pm: is gus coming

Willow 6:29 pm: He has an essay to work on

Willow 6:30 pm: Party starts at 7:00. Wear a costume. Meet someone new to get your mind off your ex.

Luz 6:30 pm: fine

Luz 6:30 pm: she’s still not my ex

Luz set her phone down, dramatically sighing.

I guess there’s no fighting this.

She rolled off the couch, falling to the ground with a thump. Inwardly groaning, she picked herself up off the floor, making her way upstairs and into her room. 

“Wear a costume”.

I don’t have a cos… 

Through her half-open closet, Luz spotted the old, crumpled sheet. She was hit with a wave of hurt, like old scars being ripped open.

…tume.

Luz stepped towards her closet, picking the sheet up and smoothing the wrinkles out. Memories suddenly assaulted her.

~

“Wait up Luz!”

“It’s not my fault you’re a slowpoke!”

She grinned back at the witch, eyes shining with excitement as their feet pounded in the pavement.

~

“I’ve got 28 Kit Kat’s!”

Amity pouted, counting out her own candy.

“I’ve only got 15.”

Luz felt a wave of affection towards the girl, and she pushed some of the red wrappers in Amity’s direction. She looked up at Luz with wide eyes. 

“We can split them.”

Amity beamed.

~

Luz blinked, throwing herself out of the daze that’d set in. 

She looked down at her phone and cursed. It was already 6:50.

With another accusatory glare at the sheet, she threw it over her head. Having grown several inches since she’d last worn it, the sheet now rested at mid-calf, exposing her feet and ankles. Luz grimaced.

It’ll have to do.

Throwing off the old sweats that she was wearing, she changed into her warmest button up flannel and a pair of tattered jeans. With a second of hesitation, Luz pinned her bi-pride flag button to her shirt.

Might take Willow’s advice.

She pulled the sheet over her head, sighed again at the sight of herself in the mirror. Before the pain completely set in, Luz looked away and made her way downstairs.

Slipping on her shoes, Luz called back to her mother, who had started watching a movie on the couch. 

“I’m going out.”

Camila glanced back towards her daughter.

“Oh, ok! Have fun, mija.”

“Will do.”

With that, Luz shut the door behind her and started towards Boscha’s house, that ever present ache growing with each step.

~~~

The party was filled with people she vaguely recognized from school. Loud music blared from speakers, and she cringed, anxiety starting to set in until she spotted Willow standing by the stairs. The girl wore a pair of overalls and a wide brimmed straw hat. She held a bottle of hard cider in her hand, a smile breaking through her face when she spotted the ghost.

“Luz?”

She pulled the sheet off her head, giving Willow a little wave. Willow laughed, pulling her into a one-armed hug.

“Wow, that’s probably the laziest costume I’ve seen. A sheet ghost?”

Luz scoffed, slapping her on the arm. 

“What are you supposed to be? A gardener?”

Her friend managed to look almost offended.

“Of course! I am a woman of class.”

For the first time tonight, Luz let out a chuckle. It surprised both Willow and herself, and the girl smiled widely at her. 

Maybe it had been the right call to go out tonight.

“Let’s get you a drink.”

She followed Willow into the rather oversized kitchen (everything in Boscha’s house was big), snacks and bottles of assorted alcohol littering the counter. As Luz grabbed a bottle of cider and popped the cap, she heard what sounded like someone slamming their hand on a table in anger. 

Curious, she moved around the corner and looked into the dining room. 

Three people dressed as witches huddled around the dining table, intently focusing on the card game they were playing. Luz couldn’t make out their features from this distance, but all had green hair.

“Come on, Mittens, you’re cheating! I know it, there’s no way you could get this lucky at Texas Hold ‘Em.”

Luz frowned.

That voice… it sounds familiar.

“Ed, for the love of Titan, Em watched me last round and can personally attest that I’m not cheating.”

Having been moving closer to the trio, Luz froze in place, fingers clutching her cider bottle in a vice grip.

While she couldn’t immediately place the first voice, there was no mistaking the second one. She’d heard it every night in her dreams, for a month on end, after she’d seen Amity the last time.

Ami… 

She threw the sheet off her head, a feeling of claustrophobia and panic setting in.

The sudden movement caught Edric’s gaze, and he looked up, golden eyes the same as his sister’s locking with Luz’s. She could tell, even from here, that he recognized her. 

“Hey, Mittens, I’m gonna use the bathroom real fast.”

He stood up, and made his way towards Luz. Her fight or flight response activated, but she forced herself to stand still, praying that Amity wouldn’t turn around and notice her.

Edric stopped a couple feet away, hands in his pockets, a small frown on his face. Luz studied his face for a moment.

The witch looked so different than the twelve-year old version she’d last seen of him. His ears were pierced, with black studs, and he had a goatee, the same shade as his forest green hair. 

“Funny seeing you here, Luz.”

She scowled at Edric.

“Funny disappearing for eight years, and then taking your little sister with you.”

He looked confused, running a hand through his already messy hair.

“What?”

She scoffed, drumming her fingers on the cider, and taking a swig.

“Never mind.”

Edric sighed, glancing back at his two sisters, who were too busy arguing over their cards to notice him. Luz looked at him, expectant.

“You know, our parents kept Amity from visiting you. She wanted to see you so badly, but after she’d mentioned “a human”, they forbid her from going out on Halloween.”

She took another swig of cider, mind reeling.

“Did they now.”

Edric huffed, rubbing his temples.

“Yes, Luz. Our parents… are not good people.” 

He fell quiet as Willow reappeared, arms crossed over her chest, glaring at Luz over the tops of her glasses.

“There you are! I thought you’d given me the slip and left.”

She frowned up at Edric, picking up on the tension between the two of them. Willow stepped next to Luz, resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Is this guy giving you trouble?”

Glancing over to her friend and back to Edric, she shook her head, reassuring Willow.

“No, he was just leaving. Right, Ed?”

The witch’s face fell, hurt apparent on his sharp features. He nodded slowly, looking between the two friends, and tucked his hands back into his pockets.

“I guess I am.”

He turned to leave, but glanced back over his shoulder, a pleading look in his eyes.

“Please just talk to her. And Luz, take care of yourself.”

She nodded, ignoring the questioning look she received from Willow. Her friend hit Luz’s shoulder, and she glared at the girl.

“What?”

“Who was that?”

Luz sighed, old memories rushing back to her.

I hope I didn’t mess that friendship up as well.

“Someone who I used to know.”

Willow snorted, drawing a glare from her.

“I’m sorry, but that sounds like a bad love song.”

“Shut up!”

“Didn’t know you were into older guys, Luz.”

“I’m going to commit a homicide.”

~~~

For the most part, she’d managed to avoid Amity the majority of the night. There was a short instance where Luz had walked into the kitchen, looking for another cider, and had run into the witch.

Like, literally ran into her.

She’d stood deathly still, as Amity brushed herself off and smiled at the girl. With a playful “watch where you’re going, ghost”, the witch had left the kitchen to return to her card game.

Luz proceeded to lock herself in one of the many bathrooms and hyperventilate for a good thirty minutes. She might’ve stayed in there the rest of the night had Willow not texted her.

Willow 10:36 pm: Come up to the sunroom, we’re playing spin the bottle. And no, you don’t have an option, because I know you’re sulking somewhere.

Luz 10:37 pm: you assume ik where the sunroom is

Luz 10:37 pm: and I’m sulking for a good reason

Willow 10:38 pm: Uh huh

Willow 10:38 pm: I’m mad at you for not telling me, by the way.

Willow 10:38 pm: ;)

Luz 10:39 pm: i have no idea what you’re talking about 

Luz 10:42 pm: willow?

Willow 10:42 pm: Just get up here

Luz sighed, finally exiting her hiding place. She stumbled once, cursing the hard cider and her natural clumsiness, which combined led to a dangerous combo. Carefully, making sure to hold onto the railing, she made her way up the stairs.

However, the sheet kept tripping her up, so she removed it and slung it across her shoulders.

With every wrong door that Luz opened, she grew more and more irritated.

Damn this massive house and it’s unnecessary amount of rooms.

She reached the final door and pulled it open with a slightly unnecessary amount of force.

“Willow, I swear-”

Her voice cut off as several pairs of eyes turned to look at her. 

Oh, shit.

“There she is! The girl of the hour.”

Luz froze, that old knife twisting in her gut as the room’s occupants stared at her. There were at least fifteen people in the room, including Willow, Boscha, a brunette girl with a (was that a fishhook?) strange earring, and three familiar, green-haired siblings.

The knife dug deeper, old wounds reopening with each pair of golden eyes she met.

If the girl hadn’t been so shell shocked, she probably would’ve appreciated the look on Amity’s face.

The witch looked like she’d seen a ghost.

Well, a girl in ghost costume that was hanging haphazardly off her shoulders, but it was close enough.

Ami…

She’d changed again.

Black triangle studs that matched her brother’s now adorned her ears. Her mint green hair hung loose in a wild mane, ginger roots growing in.

Luz subconsciously ran a hand through her own hair as sat next to Willow. It had grown out a little longer, messy waves falling across her forehead, but she preferred to keep it short. 

The witch had also lost the robes, now wearing a black corduroy jacket and matching jeans, with what could only be described as “stompy lesbian boots”. Her pointy hat still remained, lying crooked on her head. 

Those eyes burned into Luz’s, and she found herself unable to look away, the dull ache in her chest rising in intensity the longer she stared. 

God, she’d missed Amity.

Willow leaned over and whispered something in her ear, and Luz finally tore her eyes away.

“Your ex is much nicer than I expected. She’s also a good kisser.”

That caught Luz’s attention. She whipped her head towards Willow, who chuckled and looked insufferably smug.

“I’m kidding, Luz.”

She scowled, gaze flicking back towards Amity for just a second, catching the witch staring at her. The golden eyes left hers, blush spreading across her cheeks. 

Strange. 

But who was she kidding, everything about Amity was strange.

Murmurs broke out across the circle as the bottle landed on Willow. She raised an eyebrow at her friend, having missed who’d spun it. Willow just shrugged back.

“Pay attention, plant girl.”

The words belonged to Boscha, pink the same shade as her hair dusting the girl’s cheeks. Willow looked towards her, incredulous. 

She looked back at Luz, an indecipherable expression on her face.

“Well, I’m not about to lose.”

With that, Willow grabbed the front of Boscha’s shirt and pulled her into a short, burning kiss. She pulled back, looking smug, while the pink-haired girl gaped like a fish.

As she settled back onto the floor and spun the bottle, Luz’s mind raced.

It’s that easy?

Just… 

What if it lands on me?

What if it lands on… Amity?

White-hot jealousy burned in her chest at the thought of someone else kissing the witch. She felt an unexplainable anger at this phantom person. 

But as the bottle went round and round, without it landing on either of them, Luz relaxed slightly. The bottle, now spun by Viney (the earring girl, who she’d learned her name from chatter around the room), landed on Emira. The elder Blight sister smiled at the brunette, before pulling her into a kiss filled with evident fondness.

The action made her chest ache again.

It also opened the doorway up for new, stomach clenching thoughts.

What if I kissed Amity?

While the idea filled her stomach with butterflies, the creature in her chest purred at the thought of kissing the witch. Before her mind could continue down that dangerous rabbit hole, Emira’s spin landed on Amity.

“I pass. Sibling rules.”

And so, the youngest Blight spun the bottle, and with each revolution Luz felt sicker and sicker. Slower and slower it spun, until it landed on…

Me. 

… oh.

The air felt charged, like the sky before a lightning storm. Amity’s eyes were wide, and so very bright, as bright as miniature suns.

Was it fear in them?

Uncertainty?

Luz was past the point of understanding the witch. 

When they crashed into one another, a pair of magnets unable to resist each other’s pull, lips fitting as if they were made to be together, then she understood.

So this is what love feels like.

She felt herself stand, never separating from Amity, the two of them stumbling towards the door.

“Don’t do anything stupid, lovebirds!”

Luz flipped off Willow, shutting the door behind them. The witch clung to her like a lifeline as the pair stumbled into the empty room next door. 

Her head felt like a pile of mush when they finally pulled apart, taking in much needed breaths. She felt Amity’s laughter against her chest, and Luz smiled, heart soaring at the sound of it.

“It’s unbelievable, how much I missed you.”

She punched Luz’s arm, no force behind it.

“Why didn’t you say something in the kitchen?”

She pulled back from Amity, drinking in her features, tracing every line of her face. Over the years, her face had grown sharper, more defined, but Luz could still the remnants of childhood there. It still hurt, being this close to her.

“You left, Ami.”

That was the wrong thing to say, idiot.

Pain flared on Amity’s face. She bit her lip, fangs tugging at the skin, as her eyes cast down.

Luz wanted to kiss her again.

You probably messed that up too.

Hesitantly, slowly, she reached out and tucked her hand under Amity’s chin, lifting her head up. Their eyes met for what felt like the millionth time. Luz let a soft sigh, breath mixing with the witch’s. She’d never get over those golden eyes, not as long as she lived.

Amity’s eyes flicked down, then back up.

“I’m sorry.”

Luz’s apology was barely there, but echoed like a shout in the blissful silence.

When their lips met for the second time, much gentler than before, and so very soft, all the remaining traces of anger fizzled out of her chest. 

What was the need for an apology, after all, when actions spoke so much louder?

Luz threaded her hands through Amity’s hair, soft strands brushing against her fingers. The witch sighed against her, and wrapped her arms around Luz’s waist. It was a funny thing, that Amity’s lips could be so soft, while she could still feel her fangs behind them, sharp and dangerous.

I wonder if kisses always feel like this.

It seemed like a split second of forever before they parted again. The witch's face was bright red, and she hid her face in Luz’s shoulder.

I love you.

The words inside her head didn’t seem like much of a shock. After all, it’d been eleven years, and Luz was pretty much certain that she’d always felt this way. For all of her observations, she’d remained oblivious to the feelings in her own chest.

“Luz?”

“Hmmm.”

“You know, I have to go. Eventually.”

The look in Amity’s eyes was apologetic, but resigned. It was just a simple fact, as sad as it might be. 

“I know.”

“Okay.”

Luz just held her tighter.

Cherish the moments you do have.

“Ami?”

“Yeah?”

She held Amity’s gaze, heart thumping in a steady rhythm against the witch’s. 

“Promise me something.”

“Of course.”

Luz smiled, lifting her head to the ceiling, silently thanking whoever was up there that she’d found this wonderful girl. Her eyes eventually sought Amity’s own again.

“Tell me you’ll come back next year.”

Amity grinned, a picture of youthful innocence that she remembered so vividly.

“I will. I swear it.”

“Good.”

And like that, the knife in Luz’s gut disappeared, wounds and scars disappearing with those five simple words. 

Was this contentment?

I guess so.