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Both of them were five years old when Chanhee realized the jewel on Juyeon's chest.
It was soft pink and it was really bright. It was so bright that the crystal would be seen even over Juyeon's shirt. It was why Chanhee would always choose pink as his favorite color, because he loved to see Juyeon's jewel on his chest. The jewel was the source of Chanhee's amusement, of wonder. The jewel was also why people were so afraid of Juyeon and opted to have the least interaction as possible with him.
Chanhee could not understand that at all. From what Chanhee realized, Juyeon was always just Juyeon. The Lee Juyeon who had been born on the same day as him, who was the child of a family who lived next door, the Lee Juyeon who had always been Chanhee's friend for all he knew.
The jewel on Juyeon's chest was just pretty for Chanhee. It did not mean anything. Juyeon was still Juyeon. For Chanhee, Juyeon was still just Juyeon even though he made the flowers bloom just by watering it. Juyeon was still just Juyeon even though he invited flocks of animals following them around when they had a walk. Juyeon was still just Juyeon even though he emitted a brilliant light around him when he had a good mood.
It was when they were in first grade of elementary school when Chanhee finally understood that Juyeon was not just Juyeon. Juyeon was a reincarnation of a god, a nature god, to be exact.
It was the result of a pact which had been made hundreds of years ago. For every fifty to eighty years, a god would be born to earth as a human child. It was to ensure the gods knew exactly what the people needed. And the human child, who held the knowledge that he was a god, would be encouraged to live as normal as possible until he turned 20 and would go back to being a god.
How normal would that be when people would always fear the god in the human form, though? Even Juyeon's own human parents treated him with so much carefulness, it made Chanhee confused. No one dared to be close to Juyeon or even call his name—they called him god instead—so Juyeon would only stay with Chanhee. They were all acting too respectful, fearing that they would smite god when they interact with Juyeon.
All they could do was barely say their greeting and ask for a blessing instead (and Juyeon would then plaster a beautiful but fake smile and say nice things back), in which Chanhee would find it ironic. And sad. Mostly sad. Not for Juyeon, but for others who couldn't see just how awesome Juyeon was as a person. As a friend. As Chanhee's everything.
When they were just the two of them, Juyeon would act just like any other kid would. He loved video games so much, but he was surprisingly bad for a god so Chanhee would often let him win. Chanhee would cook Juyeon's favorite ramyeon and they would slurp it together. Chanhee's parents always let him stay over at Juyeon's. When they slept together, Juyeon would say that Chanhee was so warm and used it as an excuse to cling onto him, his jewel pressed against Chanhee's back.
It hurted, but kowing that Juyeon would do that only in front of him, knowing that he was the only one who would see Juyeon's stupid, cheerful grin, made him fuzzy with warm feelings.
Juyeon stopped coming to school when they were in the third grade of high school, even though his grades were stellar, one week before their CSAT. Because they were 19, his godly powers become even stronger . It multiple everything, even the fear, up to the point that everyone would tremble at the sight of him. Chanhee knew very well that it broke Juyeon's heart, not only because it rained too hard on that particular day when Chanhee had to go to school all by himself, but because Juyeon loved to feel like he was just an ordinary student.
So Chanhee would relay papers and homeworks for Juyeon after school. They would study together and Juyeon would teach Chanhee how to solve a particulary hard math problem because Juyeon had always been the smartest one. Juyeon even did a special CSAT exam that the school and their local government created specially for Juyeon, because Chanhee threw a fit in the principal room, saying that they would smite god even more if they did not do that.
"Let's go on a holiday," Chanhee said, the afternoon after they completed their CSAT, "I know this cottage down on the countryside. I think you'd like it. We can also celebrate our 20th birthday together. What do you say?"
They spent three days on a beautiful, wooden cottage surrounded by a beautifully tended garden. Chanhee knew this from his aunt, who said that the owner also had a twin sister who was an incarnation of god. His aunt said that she would be a great help. However when Chanhee and Juyeon arrived, the cottage lady was preparing to leave. She even shoved the key to the cottage to Chanhee.
"Everything will be fine, Chanhee-ya." she said as she waved, driving off to god knows where.
Even though they were practically alone in the middle of nowhere, the cottage lady had prepared everything they would need. Juyeon and Chanhee spent most of their days playing together. They picked fruits from the garden and eat them together. Juyeon fished a lot, so they could eat like a king. Everything was fun and happy, and Juyeon and Chanhee instantly forgot all about their problems.
"Promise me you'd only drink with me at the university orientation!" Juyeon brightly said, as he lay on Chanhee's lap while they were watching the bright sky, "I want to be with you on that special day!"
They knew it was nearly impossible, but Chanhee said yes anyway.
On their last night, both of them pretended they were sleeping when the old grandfather clock chimed. 12 o' clock. It was their birthday. They were both 20. It was Juyeon who whispered happy birthday to Chanhee first. He also said thank you for being his friend.
Chanhee could not take it anymore, so he got up and sat on Juyeon's stomach, both of his hands gripped Juyeon's warm neck with zero strength at all. His eyes filled with indescribable expressions, just as Juyeon's right now. "What if I kill you right now, Juyeon-ie?" Chanhee said, softly, coldly, "What if I kill you right now and I kill myself? Would I go to hell?"
Juyeon stared at Chanhee for a while. For a moment, the only thing they could hear was each other's breath. "That's fine by me," Juyeon finally answered, his fake smile once again plastered on his beautiful face, "If it's you, I'm fine, Chanhee."
It was Chanhee's last straw. "You're so cruel. You're so cruel, Juyeon." Chanhee sobbed, tears dropped violently down his cheeks and onto Juyeon's shirt. He tried so hard not to make his body trembled, so he gripped Juyeon's front shirt too tight his knuckles turned white. "Why do you have to do this? Can't you stay with me here? Please? Juyeon-ie please?"
Both of them knew that Chanhee's wish simply could not happen. For minutes, Juyeon let Chanhee cried, before he finally got up and pulled Chanhee into his hug. It was a warm and comforting one, just like all Juyeon's hugs had always been. "Can I kiss you, Chanhee?" Juyeon whispered, and Chanhee nodded. And they did.
Juyeon asked for more and Chanhee gave him permission. Juyeon said that he loved Chanhee as his fingers traced every inch of Chanhee's pale skin. Juyeon said how happy he was with Chanhee when their bodies met, flushed against each other, covered with each other's sweats. In the middle of his short breaths, Juyeon said that Chanhee was the best thing had ever happened in hundreds of years of his life. It was Juyeon's time to cry and Chanhee shushed him up as he planted a soft kiss on his lips.
When the morning came, Chanhee woke up accompanied by only a neatly folded mattress and cold wind. A soft pink and bright jewel was placed on top of the pile. Juyeon was nowhere to be found.
For a god who was born into the world as a human child, another human child would be born to accompany them. They would not fear him at all. They would give the god a taste of being human. They were called a beholder, because the human god would leave them their chest jewel to hold once they had to leave the earth and go back to be a god. And Chanhee was Juyeon's beholder.
The cottage owner found Chanhee crying silently at the front door, his luggage tidied up beside him. She crouched down and said the same thing, while slipping a fake soft pink jewel into Chanhee's palm, one that looked a little dirtier from Juyeon's jewel that he gripped tightly inside his other palm. She whispered, "Everything will be fine, Chanhee-ya. And offer that one to the shrine instead. That's the least they can do, or else it won't be worth it."
Everything went back to normal. Everyone acted as if Juyeon was non-existent, while at the same time trying to figure out when the next incarnation of god would be born. Chanhee tried to go back living his usual, daily life, because it would be what Juyeon wanted. And soon, it was the university orientation night.
Chanhee walked toward a stage, far back from the crowd of freshmen who were socializing with their seniors. An empty cup was in his hand, but Chanhee did not feel like drinking. He just liked to see the happy faces on his soon-to-be friends, wondering about a promise long given.
"H-hi!" A girl shyly greeted, her face was red not because of alcohol. A green bottle with no cap was in her hands. "W-would you like me to pour you a soju?"
Chanhee got up at the sudden request. "W-well," Chanhee wanted to say something, and he already has his cup grabbed in his hand toward the cute girl, when suddenly Chanhee felt a tug on his sleeve.
Ah.
"Sorry... I've already promised to drink at the orientation with another person," Chanhee bowed his head slightly, and the girl said okay even though her face fell. Chanhee said that he would probably up for it next time, if she let him. Just not tonight.
Well, he had to keep his promise up.
"Never thought you'd be the jealousy type," Chanhee chuckled and went back to his spot, sitting alone on the stage facing everyone on the university orientation. It would take a every keen eye to notice, but there was a soft pink gleam underneath Chanhee's sweater, moving around as if it was dangling. "But yeah, I guess, I've promised. So there's nothing I can do. Right, Juyeon?"