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Tommy pulls his knees close to his chest. Shallow breathing and even that was uncomfortable. Her heart was pounding in her chest. But none of this compared to the growing headache that wanted to remove its eyes from its sockets.
Moans of pain from unshed tears probably sounded all over the empty bathroom, however, Tommy was no longer in control of his own body. He certainly didn't feel his fingers anymore and he didn't know if he was holding on to his legs as tightly as he felt when he sat down. The thoughts swimming through the molasses that had become his brain, until he couldn't think anymore; strict pain being your only sensation. And it was too much.
He barely remembers how he got to the school bathroom. All he managed to guard was Wilbur's stupid joke, as well as how he had to control himself not to scream right away. Now the bathroom next to the gym where he was tirelessly preparing for the basketball game was his refuge from the endless sounds that came from everywhere. Everything was very clear, very sticky, very loud. He wanted to take off from himself. He wanted to pass out to stop feeling it all. If he passed out, maybe someone would miss him and take him home, without the sounds of basketballs bouncing on the floor, recurring footsteps and the damn ambient sounds that echoed through the bathroom — fucking sink leaking, he couldn't take it anymore.
Few memories made sense. He understood that it was a blackout, even though he had never had one before. Despite everything, Tommy was trying to repress himself enough to at least get away. Although, right now, he felt like he was dying.
The basketball had hit him in the face during the game. He already felt actively sticky by the team's uniform clothes and had dispensed with the vest precisely because one more layer of clothing would make him die of heat, however, the impact on his face was pushing him to the limit of his day, no matter how much. If he wanted to deny it, Tommy was never a pain-receptive person. He knows about his childhood past, slightly shameful, where he cried at each stub with his finger and calmed down only with Wilbur's soft melodies.
Tommy could tell that Wilbur was not smooth. He would risk saying that this was one of those fabricable memories to hide when Wilbur could be a bitch.
The whistle. Yes, that was it. The fucking whistle that Wilbur found a genuine joke to play near Tommy's ear. In the first few seconds, when his palms ran to cover his ears, everything seemed to go out in a light-colored blur. White filled your senses, but not to the point of making him fall, not in front of his middle brother. He lifted his head and laughed weakly. Wilbur laughed and gave Tommy two pats on the back that were not strong, but he could feel his palm on his skin for an intrusive touch before he disappeared from his hazy vision to speak to Techno.
Tommy doesn't have much else after that. He remembers the slightly irritated face that Tubbo threw at Wilbur, he realized that maybe his best friend was scared, so he tried not to focus too much on it.
However, if he thought now, he could risk that Tubbo's irritated and worried face would have been recurring to him being the only one to notice the way in which Tommy's entire body was shaking suspiciously.
But now Tommy was just being a bubble of tremors and whimpers of pain, curved into himself protectively with icy hands and a sense of impending death from so much overload that everything was causing. He should have listened to Phil when he asked Tommy not to go to training today. Phil always knew things that Tommy didn't understand. He didn't even know how he got there.
There was no way to make it worse.
Tommy cried when the horrible creak of the bathroom door was opened more than necessary. He covered his ears, but it didn't seem to be enough to stop that wave of sensation that surrounded him. Tears he didn't want to shed by staining his cheeks. Tommy didn't even know if he was breathing properly at that point. Everything seemed superficial.
Footsteps of rubber-soled sneakers against the floor, he didn't even need to hear his voice to know it was the fucking sneaker that Tubbo's flashing. The steps stopped in front of the metal door to Tommy's cabin. The tapping of his fingers on the metal made him shiver, he hated being so sensory sensitive.
He hated sensory overload.
"Tommy, are you?" Tubbo's attempt to whisper was like Wilbur's attempts to shut him up: useless.
Tommy wanted to answer, but he had no voice. God, he hated being like this, he wanted to scream, kick and run. He wanted to scream to get it all out of him. Tommy was so tired, so frustrated. He felt his nails dig into his cheeks.
“Tommy, if it's you, knock on the door. You can do it?" Tubbo spoke in his usual voice, but it was soft and tender.
'Tubbo is an idiot' Tommy then misaligned himself, loosening himself enough to flick the door with his right hand. He heard a satisfied confirmation noise from Tubbo. Tommy opened himself wide enough to sit with his legs spread over the toilet, his right arm still loose at his side, even though his left was still in his ears. He felt his cheeks burning in scratches that he himself had caused.
"Good." Tubbo said before taking two quick steps towards the door, until he stopped.
Tommy was startled by the lack of noise coming from Tubbo, his friend stopped in one place and Tommy was unconsciously apprehensive. Then he heard the sound of some jumps and rubbing of fabric. After that, Tubbo's walk was quiet. Tommy couldn't help smile when he realized that Tubbo had taken his shoes off for him.
A few more steps and the bathroom light was turned off. The environment was cleared only by the high window that was the only air passage in the bathroom, the lighting was partially stopped when a blue vest was thrown to try to supply the dark theme. The tap was turned off harder and Tommy sighed with relief. The darkness and the sounds being cut in half made him feel lighter to breathe, the thoughts were clearer now. He wouldn't admit it, but his confidence in Tubbo was making him feel more secure.
God, he was going limp.
The sound of the keyboard on Tubbo's noisy cell phone made him grunt and stiffen. Tubbo lets out a noise of silence that is not exactly to shut him up, but to calm Tommy enough. His breathing was not yet regulated and the smallest of intrusive sounds would put him in that state of torpor again.
"I'll be back soon, Tommy." Tubbo warns him. Seconds later he hears the door being closed more carefully and Tubbo's silence in the room. He can still hear the sounds of the classrooms next to the school. Kids playing. Birds singing. Screams of teachers.
He feels suspiciously abandoned, he didn't want to be alone again; however, he decides to believe in Tubbo, to wait for him to return soon. Then he uses the time to try to control his breathing. He uses the strategies that Techno and Phil used, which was a little more technical. For some reason, being calmed by Wilbur has always been easier, more natural. Maybe because they've known each other longer.
He almost feels guilty at times, that Wilbur chose to stay with him back then. None of them knew that Tommy would have these problems when he officially came to Phil's house. Well, they never looked sorry, but that was a concern he had on bad days. His older brothers and his father were professionals in making him lose those thoughts of guilt.
Tommy counts to ten slowly three times. It breathes in for four and expires in five to ten. At the beginning of the fourth time, he hears the door open again.
"I'm back, tommy." Tubbo warns lightly, trying not to overload the environment again. However, Tommy is very happy that Tubbo is here again. "Can you open your cabin door, please?"
Tommy hesitates, Tubbo is still waiting. Despite everything, he is still shaking and feels a little embarrassed. Tommy is probably a mess and he didn't want Tubbo to see him in such a sensitive way.
Still, he raises his hand to open the door. Anyway, it's Tubbo on the other side.
When it unlocks, it is shaking a little more than before, like electric currents that give it shocks with every little stress. He focuses on the bathroom floor. It's even cleaner than the bathroom normally is, it stays in the squares because it doesn't want to look at Tubbo's loving eyes.
"I'm going to touch you." It's not a question, so Tommy doesn't answer. But, he wouldn't be able to answer even if he was.
A headset is placed in your ears. He gets a little confused and tidies them up, until he realizes that it is a muffler of sound. Everything is in absolute silence and Tommy couldn't be happier. He looks at Tubbo for the first time, his best friend is sweaty and with hair sticking to his forehead. His yellow vest is gone and he's just wearing the basketball team's uniform.
Tubbo kneels and offers a hand to Tommy, the gesture so gentle it makes him want to cry and he cries, simply because he no longer has control over his body to behave proudly.
He drags trembling fingers across the skin of Tubbo's palm, his friend has a tickle spasm and laughs, taking his hands away. However, he runs on to hold his fingers, and when Tommy holds Tubbo's hand safely, he slowly descends from the toilet seat and sits on the floor. Tubbo crawls out of the cabin and he follows. Tubbo leans against the tile and Tommy gets on his knees next to him. No noise to bother you.
"I took this noise blocker from George." Tubbo explains when Tommy seems minimally focused on him. His voice was soothing and soothing, nothing like the unbearable noise he had been experiencing before. "You know, he usually keeps two in his backpack in case of an emergency."
Tommy does not have the strength to smile, suddenly, he is exhausted. He hardly feels wobbly, he only realizes that he closed his eyes when his shoulder is firmly held by Tubbo, when he was almost falling forward. His friend's amused smile calms him more than he would like. So he is arranged to sit on the floor, his head resting on his chest while he is half hugged — Tubbo can be very protective when he wants to, it is scary.
He can feel Tubbo's slightly harsh breathing, his heart a little racing. He laughs when he thinks of Tubbo's adrenaline rushing to the sock scientific laboratory through the school during a class time that was not his. Tubbo was an idiot.
But Tubbo, on the other hand, is just watching his friend go from one end to the other. The cheeks scratched, wet and red. A moment ago he was a panicked and overwhelmed mess; now he is snoring so loudly that he could be heard outside the bathroom. He was fine like that anyway.
Time to call Wilbur.
extra:
The next time Tommy wakes up, he doesn't even know he slept. But, he feels his body move as if in a car.
He has his legs on the bench, he judges, his head on a warm lap and, because of the way in which he feels uncomfortable, the noise-cutting headphones are uncomfortably covering his ears, this is not as important as the affection that he's getting on the curls. His cheeks are still sticky, but he deduces that it was ointment, this time.
Tommy prepares for the bright light from the open car windows, he wants to have at least a sense of space. However, when he opens his eyes, he only finds the dark windows closed and the air conditioning on.
He's really got his legs over the passenger seat, a blanket he hadn't even tossed over him, the one his brothers always leave in the trunk to line up the seat with some Wilbur speakers. By the reflection front seat window, he can see his older brother Technoblade driving, which is somewhat unusual, since Techno was afraid to drive — "it's not fear, it's a precaution" Tommy almost hears his brothers' voice correct him.
He feels heavy, he would not move if he wanted to. He definitely doesn't want to.
"Go back to sleep Tommy, we're almost home." Wilbur's characteristic voice sounds calm and naturally through space, Wilbur was almost music.
Tommy obeys without question, leaning into the affection on his head and sighing, he drags himself back to his heavy sleep, knowing he is safe with his older brothers.
extra:
“Tommy, Techno told me that you were overloaded at school because of Wilbur's prank. That's true?"
Phil's voice is harsh and suggestive on the other end of the phone. Depending on the answer, Wilbur would be grounded without seeing sunlight for longer than Tommy was grounded when he stole a vinyl disc for Wilbur when he was ten. He still had the disc, that was sweet.
Still, Wilbur desperately made the "X" gesture with his arms, knowing the consequences of his actions.
An idea comes up.
"No dad," Tommy smiles, his voice is still hoarse and he is content to speak a few sentences, which is what his brain can reproduce "it was just a misunderstanding."
When Phil finally hangs up, after a short talk about caring for everyone in the house, Wilbur is melting with relief on the couch. But his relief is quickly replaced by a concern when Tommy's smile doesn't go away.
"So, Will, do you remember that game I asked you for?"
Wilbur gets up and snorts. Tommy is satisfied.