Work Text:
You are Karkat Vantas and you are going to a stupid throwback sleepover birthday party with your stupid friends. You like Jade well enough, but dealing with her social circle is just a lot. You are only here because Kanaya begged you to come and save her from her crush. At least this isn’t some juvenile “girls only” event, so you don’t have to feel too out of place even if no one but Kanaya knows you’re a guy. You brace yourself for the inevitable dysphoria of socialising with people you’re not out to.
When you arrive, the champion of bullshit fragile masculinity himself with the douchiest shades ever to be worn indoors is the one to let you in.
“sup kat, jades downstairs putting the finishing touches on the basement party vibes or something, cmon”
“SHOULD I BRING MY SLEEPING BAG DOWN?”
“oh yeah thats chill you didnt have to bring one yknow plenty of bedding down there already for maximum sleep orgying, all of us drowning together in a sea of blankets and pillows as we finally conk out in the middle of another fucking kiddie game at five am”
~~~
Of fucking course someone suggested truth or dare at some point. By some point of course you mean as soon as everyone is settled in. It starts off all stereotypical sleepover as if everyone instantly lost five years of maturity when they covered themselves in fluffy objects in someone’s basement while wearing pajamas. You knew something was bound to trigger your dysphoria, but you were not expecting it to be this.
“Dave, truth or dare!”
“dare obviously”
“I dare you to… kiss John!”
“what? ewww!!!”
“Jade, seriously what the fuck im not gonna do that to satisfy your weird pervy dreams give me a fuckin truth instead”
“Fiiine, Who do you have a crush on, Mr I’m-Too-Straight-To-Even-Kiss-A-Guy-On-A-Dare?”
“ugh i hate this cant we be more teenagery and do ketchup-drinking dares or whatever that actually result in clout and not this fucking preteen bullshit”
“Dave you gotta do one”
“fine whatever i got stupid feelings or whatever for kat im not fucking gay”
“Awwww!”
You can’t deal with this. You stand up and abscond to the first bathroom you can find upstairs. Girls are giggling behind you, and you’re pretty sure Sollux catcalls you as you ascend. This is complete and utter bullshit. He just fucking simultaniously raised your hopes and dashed them to pieces against the cliffs of gender. You actually kinda have a stupid little crush on him, and now it’s reciprocated in the worst way. He could never like the real you, but he might try to date you anyway, and that thought makes you feel sick. But oh, what if you did anyway? You let yourself imagine just dating him anyway for a moment, but the gross feelings of being close to someone like that without the acceptance and respect that you get from Kanaya quickly overwhelm the fantasy. You need to destroy his crush on you as soon as possible. You briefly entertain the wild idea of coming out to him so he knows that he can’t be attracted to you if he’s straight, but you know it would be far more likely that he wouldn’t get it and probably out you to everyone, maybe in retaliation for rejecting him. You start spiraling down into terrible scenarios for something you aren’t even going to do. Suddenly a knock on the door gets through to you.
~~~~~
You are Dave Strider, and the glare that Kanaya sends you as your newly revealed crush runs away causes the terrible guilt over somehow hurting Karkat to snuff out your embarrassment like someone poured a bucket of ice water over your head. People are still laughing but it feels like they’re part of some other conversation. You get up and go upstairs to apologize for whatever that glare meant. Your friends tease you, saying “go get her” and other shit, but that’s not what you’re doing. Honestly, you have bigger crushes than her, but she was… you thought she was the safest one to mention. Fuck.
You go to check the bathroom off the kitchen, and sure enough someone’s in there. You knock.
“hey, uh, kat? i- i just wanted to apologize okay? i dont know why exactly youre in there, but i know it has to do with what i said back there so im sorry. i um, okay, i have some things to say but i cant tell if anyone is eavesdropping so im just gonna text you okay?”
You wait for a few seconds for a response, and your phone buzzes.
CG: OKAY.
TG: chill sweet let me just lead with i do like you but im a little confused about it?
TG: like this is why i said what i said yknow
TG: i uh i like some other people too and you dont fit the pattern i got going
TG: dont fucking tell anyone this please im only doing this because kanaya put the fear of god into me with one look and im throwing the whole explanation at you in the hopes that something, even just the fact that im telling you this, makes you feel better
TG: im bi
TG: and i have like, a type, but different for guys and girls
TG: ive had so many crushes its ridiculous and hella uncool
TG: i have a big crush on jade right now; shes super my type, so since youre my weird outlier that doesnt fit the mold i said you cause like then noone will know that i like tall preppy girls its stupid
TG: um okay i just realised i called you weird and thats not what i meant
TG: its just my crush on you is weird cause
TG: ugh okay im not calling you a guy or anything but i mean you do dress kinda masc and you have short hair idk my brain is just confused cause you kinda fit my type for guys
TG: and im not trying to like insult you
TG: please dont take this the wrong way its just my brain being stupid
CG: STOP RIGHT THERE.
TG: oh fuck im sorry
CG: SHUT UP FOR A SECOND.
CG: YOU… DIDN’T INSULT ME WHEN YOU CALLED ME A GUY.
CG: YOU FINALLY DID IT.
CG: MIRACULOUSLY YOU’VE FOUND THE ONE THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TERRIBLE CONVERSATION WORTH IT.
CG: BOY, I BET YOU WEREN’T EXPECTING THAT.
TG: uh what
CG: I DON’T KNOW IF I TRUST YOU ENOUGH FOR THIS BUT COME INSIDE SO I KNOW YOU CAN’T RUN AWAY AND IMMEDIATELY TELL EVERYONE OR FREAK OUT AND LEAVE BEFORE YOU UNDERSTAND.
TG: that sounds sus as fuck but ok
The door opens, you fall over onto the tile because you’re an idiot who was still leaning on it. You look up into Karkat’s face and see a small smile breaking up its otherwise worried as fuck expression.
“sup”
“GET IN HERE YOU FUCKING DISASTER.”
You scramble to your feet and go lean against the sink all fake casually like you didn’t just come out for the first time. You guess some of that anxiety is still visible anyway because she leads with,
“OKAY, YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T BE WORRIED ABOUT- UH LET’S SWITCH BACK TO TEXT.”
CG: FIRST OF ALL, I’M BI TOO.
CG: I’M NOT GONNA BE WEIRD ABOUT IT.
CG: BUT WHAT I BROUGHT YOU IN TO TELL YOU IS I’M TRANS.
“uh-”
CG: I’M ACTUALLY A GUY BUT NO ONE OTHER THAN KANAYA KNOWS YET.
CG: SO I’M FUCKING ESTATIC THAT YOUR SUBCONCIOUS SEES ME AS A DUDE.
CG: THAT IS LIKE, THE BEST THING YOU COULD’VE SAID WHILE PUTTING YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH LIKE YOU DID.
“oh... youre welcome?”
TG: so uh idk that tracks
TG: cool
TG: yup
TG: the world makes sense now
TG: no it doesnt how tf did my subconscious know that
CG: I MEAN I’VE BEEN SOFT TRANSITIONING SINCE BEFORE I KNEW I WAS TRANS
TG: tf that mean
CG: YOU SAID YOURSELF I DRESS MASC AND HAVE SHORT HAIR, I’M TRYING TO PRIME PEOPLE TO SEE ME AS AT LEAST MASCULINE IF NOT AS A GUY WITHOUT OUTING MYSELF.
TG: well i guess it worked but dude you made yourself my type wtf are you a mind reader
CG: UGH I THINK PART OF WHY I LIKE YOU IS YOUR HABIT OF CALLING EVERYONE INCLUDING ME DUDE EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES YOU SOUND SO FUCKING DOUCHEY.
TG: wait you like me
CG: UH, FUCK I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT.
TG: bro i like you too
TG: i will call you man all the fucking time dude you dont even know
Karkat hides h-is face but you totally saw that happy little smile.
TG: no one likes me doing that fuck dude this aint even hard
TG: i mean uh
TG: having mutual crushes doesnt mean we gotta go out or anything
TG: but i wouldnt be opposed
TG: ugh but ugh bleh we dont gotta tell no one that feels kinda skeevy cause this is gay af and i dont wanna deal with any of that mess
CG: FUCK NO DON’T TELL ANYONE!
TG: i wasnt gonna
CG: GOOD, OKAY.
CG: UH… I MEAN… IF YOU WANT TO KEEP IT A SECRET, AND I MEAN REALLY KEEP IT A SECRET AT LEAST FOR NOW, WE COULD
CG: WE COULD DATE?
TG: hmmmmm yea
TG: sounds good
TG: permission to attempt a romance without everyone and their mom weighing in
TG: hell fucking yes
TG: were doin this man
TG: where making it happen
CG: STOP FUCKING MEMEING YOU AS,MFALJFDJK
CG: !!!!!!!!!!!
TG: keysmash huh
TG: gay
CG: YOU’RE GAY.
TG: i know fuck
TG: fuck i have a boyfriend
TG: or like, potential boyf
TG: when did i lose control of my life
CG: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CG: YOU KILLED ME. I’M DEAD. DEAD OF BEING CALLED BOYFRIEND.
CG: LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID.
TG: oh no ive become too powerful
TG: i killed my boo with a word
TG: wait its too early for petnames fuck we asked each other out like a minute ago calm down
CG: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.
CG: I HATE YOU SO MUCH BUT ALSO I LOVE PETNAMES.
CG: CONFLICTING EMOTIONS IS LIKE, ALL OF MY INTERACTIONS WITH YOU EVER.
TG: sweet ill unleash the flood of nicknames i am king of nicknaming people
CG: FUCK, WHAT HAVE I DONE.
CG: UH, MAYBE WE SHOULD GO BACK TO THE PARTY AND LIKE, NOT SPAWN RUMORS THAT WE’RE MAKING OUT.
TG: oh shit ur rite cover story time
TG: uh so it turns out you like someone else
TG: but you came up here to cry or something
CG: I WAS HAVING A MELTDOWN CAUSE YOU LIKED ME BUT “WEREN’T GAY” FWI.
TG: oh shit im sorry uh but in the story…
TG: this reminded you of something painful that happened before or some shit
CG: OH, A SOB STORY?
TG: yeah so i came up and we bonded and shit but you don’t like me back
TG: (i am super smart bc this is also a cover for future interactions)
CG: HMM, YEAH, I LIKE IT. I DON’T LIKE THAT I’M OVERLY EMOTIONAL IN THIS SCENE BUT I SEE YOUR POINT.
CG: I COULD JUST BE EMBARRASSED.
TG: then y tf we up here so long id just leave
CG: FINE. I CAME UP HERE AND CRIED FOR UNSPECIFIED REASONS.
CG: WE’LL JUST GLARE AT PEOPLE IF THEY PRY CAUSE FUCK THEM.
CG: SIMPLER IS ALWAYS BETTER.
TG: sweet i guess ill go down first or do you wanna make it look like you were crying
CG: I’M DONE WITH BEING IN THIS BATHROOM, LET’S GO.
He rubs his eyes a bunch to make them red and you slink back downstairs together.
~~~~~
Your name is Karkat Vantas and you think that maybe this dumb party was worth it. If Dave fucking Strider is this cool about your gender, maybe it’d be worth it to come out to your other friends… eventually.