Work Text:
Working at a law firm was exhausting. It was also very stressing. And since he couldn’t get drunk in the middle of workday, Erwin had no choice, but to resort to another vice – smoking. Whenever the tension inside of him grew too intense to ignore (which happened rather frequently), Erwin took a pack of cigarettes and went outside. Feeling the smoke enter his lungs and then releasing it into the air, watching the white whiff dissolve into nothing calmed Erwin down better than anything.
During his smoke breaks, he was often accompanied by his co-workers. Mike joined him frequently. Moblit came a lot, too, especially when the stress of dealing with his troublesome superior Hange made him feel like tearing out his hair. As far as Erwin knew, Hange didn’t smoke. And even if she did, she never took breaks, too passionate about her work to let anything distract her. That is until Moblit, or sometimes Levi, didn’t make her rest. Moblit pleaded and bargained with her. Levi simple dragged her away from her desk.
Speaking of Levi, he was the one, who accompanied Erwin the most. He didn’t smoke that much, so Erwin suspected that Levi used the excuse of smoke breaks simply to get out of their noisy, bustling office.
This time, of course, he joined Erwin, as well.
"So, Levi," Erwin glanced at his friend. He lighted up a cigarette and passed the lighter to Levi. "Are you going to the office party this Friday?"
Erwin didn't actually expect an affirmative answer from Levi. If he could help it, Levi always stayed at home, preferring to keep his human interaction to a minimum. Recently, though, he started appearing at social gatherings more often. Erwin strongly suspected that a certain bespectacled co-worker of theirs was the reason for this sudden change.
Still, Halloween wasn't just another party, where everyone gets slightly drunk and bitches about their higher-ups. You have to wear a costume. And in all those years that Levi worked in their firm, he had never attended the Halloween party.
So what a surprise Erwin got, when Levi took a drag of his cigarette and then slowly nodded.
The cigarette almost slipped from between Erwin's fingers.
"You're coming?" he couldn't help, but ask again.
"Yes.”
"And... do you have a costume?"
"Frankenstein's monster," Levi replied nonchalantly.
Erwin openly stared at him. Was their conversation real? Or was it some kind of fever dream?
"F-frankenstein's monster?" he repeated, getting more and more worried about his sanity.
"Erwin, check your hearing," Levi grumbled. "Yes, I'll be a Frankenstein's monster, like from the novel, you know?"
Levi looked so calm, as though him not only attending a party, but also wearing a costume was a regular occurrence and not once in a lifetime event.
Erwin put a cigarette to his lips, inhaling deeply. Just one cigarette wasn't enough to get him through this bizarre conversation.
"So... if you're Frankenstein's monster...” Erwin said slowly, carefully. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Levi will be at the party. “Will there be a Frankenstein?"
"Of course, there will be Frankenstein. It’s obviously four-eyes," Levi huffed. "Who else could it be?"
Who else indeed. Erwin felt like an idiot. Truly, there was only one person in this world, who could force Levi to do something like this.
But the question was... Did it mean something?
"Oi," Mike appeared outside, joining them, before Erwin could ask that question. "What are you two talking about?"
"Nothing," Levi answered immediately .
Erwin shared a look with Mike. "Hange and Levi are going together to the Halloween party."
"Oh," Mike raised his eyebrows. "You finally decided to let people know?"
Levi stared at him. "What the fuck are you talking about? What do we need to let people know? That Hange has an annoying ability to pester people until they agree to do what she wants them to? It is hardly news for anyone."
Ah. That was it. Erwin shook his head, he shouldn't have expected anything else. Levi and Hange were the most oblivious people in existence. Everyone in the office knew about their feelings for each other. Everyone, except Levi and Hange. Erwin often wondered how two people can be so smart and so stupid at the same time. These two were obviously made for each other.
"So you two..." Mike trailed off, trying to find the best words. With Levi and Hange, one had to be as concrete as possible. "...Er, you did not confess to each other?"
"Confessed about what?" Levi scowled. "You both are so weird today," he turned around, throwing the cigarette butt into the nearest trashcan. "Whatever, I'm going inside. You shouldn't stay long as well. Your brains have obviously started to freeze."
Raising the collar of his coat higher, Levi hurriedly made his way back inside.
Mike and Erwin watched him go, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
"I can't believe them," Mike muttered. "They're really doing a two-person costume, but they don't realize what people will think? Nanaba and I have never worn a couple costume, and we've been dating for four years!"
"It's an extremely difficult case," Erwin agreed with a sigh.
“You’re their boss, can’t you do something about it? Like order them to get their shit together and stop living in denial?” Mike asked almost desperately. “The stench of their pheromones is making me insane.”
Erwin looked up, lighting up another cigarette. “I don’t think anything can be done about it. We just have to wait and hope that they will realize it by themselves. Pushing them in that direction will only delay any possible development.”
“Jesus,” Mike shuddered. “These two are terrifyingly difficult.”
“Hey boss,” Nifa sat down at the edge of Hange’s desk with a cautious smile. Hange hated when someone interrupted her work. Unless that someone was Levi. Strangely, she didn’t seem to mind whenever he came up to her desk to engage in another round of meaningless bickering. Furthermore, Hange herself often took a break from her oh so precious work to go and find Levi, just so she could share some joke or pun with him. However, Nifa obviously was no Levi, so she had to resort to placating her superior with a cup of coffee.
If there was something Hange liked more than her work, it was coffee.
It seemed like Nifa’s plan was working out. Hange accepted the coffee, looking up at Nifa with a kind smile.
“Do you want something?” she murmured, taking a large gulp from the cup.
“Halloween is this Friday,” Nifa explained, tilting her head slightly. “What costume are you going to wear this year?”
Most of the people at their firm didn’t really bother with costumes. The majority just put on vampire teeth or painted their faces with fake blood and called it a day. Although this year, they had new interns, so maybe they would be able to spice things up a little. Personally, Nifa couldn’t wait to show off her Freddy Kruger costume.
And she was also dying to know what Hange was going to wear this year. She always went out of her way to come up with the most gorgeous and creative costumes. Last year she dressed up as a space pirate. And year before that she was a grim reaper. She even had a scythe! Nifa’s favorite, however, was that Halloween, when Hange wore a zombie costume. It was both disturbing and awesome – the look was completed by a part of brain, sticking out of Hange’s hair! She claimed that it was real, and Nifa, knowing her superior, wasn’t sure if she was joking or not.
“It’s nothing special this time,” Hange revealed. “A little boring even.”
“Oi, quit teasing,” Nifa chided. “Your costumes are never boring. So, what is it?”
“If you want to know so much,” Hange sighed, feigning indifference. However, a little twinkle in her eyes told Nifa that, despite her claims, Hange was excited about the costume. “I’m going as Frankenstein.”
“Frankenstein?” Nifa drew her eyebrows together. “Monster or a scientist?”
“Scientist.”
“Oh,” maybe, Hange was right after all. It did sound a little boring. “Why not a monster?”
“Levi is going to be my monster,” Hange confessed with a wide grin.
My monster?
Did that mean what Nifa thought it meant? She could ask Hange about it, of course, and she would probably answer, but still, asking her superior that kind of personal question felt a little too intrusive even for the great gossiper Nifa.
However, she could always take a less direct approach.
"I don't remember Levi ever attending the Halloween party," Nifa looked at Hange beneath her eyelashes. "It must have been hard to make him come this year."
"You bet it was," Hange agreed, pushing the glasses up on her head. "He had two conditions."
Nifa leaned closer. "What conditions?"
"Firstly, I have to learn how to brew tea the way he likes it."
That was.... so Levi, Nifa thought with an internal smile. Everyone in the office knew he was obsessed with tea. However, why did he need Hange to learn how to brew it? As far as Nifa knew, Levi didn't let anyone come near his precious tea stash. Was Hange an exception? If so, then why? Could it mean that they were much closer than just friends?
Still, it wasn't conclusive evidence. Nifa needed something more substantial.
"And secondly," Hange showed the exact number with her fingers. "Levi wants to wash my hair. He says it's dirty and sticky, and he hates the stench of my shampoo," Hange shrugged, while Nifa was too busy gaping at her. Levi wanted to wash her hair? Seemed a little too intimate even for the best friends.
"It isn't the worth deal," Hange continued, seemingly not seeing Nifa's bewilderment. "I mean Levi could have demanded to let him clean my apartment. He always complains that my sheets are too dirty."
How in the world Levi knew about the state of Hange’s sheets? There was only one possible explanation for this…
“So you and Levi are seeing each other?” Nifa finally asked. Screw the less direct approach. It clearly wasn’t working.
“Um, yes?” Hange frowned. “I do see Levi a lot. I mean we live in the same apartment complex and we often hang out after work, so…”
Nifa barely kept herself from groaning out loud. These two were impossible! She thought she was an expert in human interactions but these were terrifyingly complicated for her to figure out. They were either actually dating or they were the most oblivious people in existence. And Nifa suspected that the latter was, unfortunately, true.
"I... I have a lot of work," Nifa smiled apologetically and hopped off the table. The intricacies of relationship between Levi and Hange were causing her a headache.
“What did she mean by ‘seeing each other’?” Hange muttered to herself. “I know that Levi is short, but he’s not that small. Was that a hint that I should check my vision?” she wondered, putting her glasses back on her face and returning to her work.
"Why are you dressed like a snobby douche?" Connie asked Jean, as the latter approached him and Sasha. It was the evening of a Halloween party, and everyone gathered in the dimly lit and sparsely decorated with cobwebs and pumpkins main room, chatting among themselves.
"I'm Dracula, you idiot," Jean scoffed. "Besides, what are you even supposed to be?" he looked at Connie's face and body, covered in toilet paper. He plucked his lips in disgust. "Toilet monster?"
"Hey!" Connie cried out, while Sasha snickered in her palm. "I'm a mummy!"
Jean decided not to dignify it with a response.
"And you?” he turned to Sasha. “You are red riding hood, right?"
"Yes!" Sasha beamed. "Look! I even have a basket! Trick or treat, Jean!"
Sasha proudly showed him the aforementioned basket. It was full of sandwiches.
Jean sighed.
"Did you choose this costume just so you could sneak more food in here?"
"Maybe," Sasha shrugged, taking out one of the sandwiches and taking a bite. "Want some?"
"Um, no, thanks. Even if I wanted to," which he did not. Trying to separate Sasha and food was a dangerous affair. Jean had learned it firsthand. "I can't really eat with these things," he opened his mouth, showing them his fake fangs.
"Wow," Connie grinned. "There is even blood on them! Can I touch it?"
"No way!" Jean took a step back, putting his hands forward.
“Hey, look, look," Sasha tugged at Jean and Connie's arms. "Eren, Mikasa and Armin came."
"What the fuck." Jean stared at Eren, his hands clutching into fists. "That asshole, what the fuck is he wearing?"
"Oh, Jean, I think," Connie patted his shoulder. "Eren is Van Helsing."
"He is!" Sasha agreed, pointing at the wooden stake in Eren's hand.
"Motherfucker," Jean growled. "He knew I was going to dress as a vampire!"
"Calm down," Connie rolled his eyes. "And don't start another fight. At least wait until we're out of office."
"You can always beat him up in the parking lot!" Sasha giggled.
“Or, more probably, Mikasa will beat both of you up in the parking lot,” Connie mocked with a shit-eating grin. Sasha cheerfully high-fived him.
“Shut up, you idiots,” Jean gave them both a smack upside their heads. “I fucking hate that jerk," he muttered, glaring at Eren.
"His costume is nice, though," Connie noted.
"His mother probably helped to prepare it," Sasha nodded. "Armin looks adorable!" she added. "That Peter Pan costume suits him so much!"
"Looks like Mikasa isn't a fun of Halloween, though," Connie continued. "I mean what is she even supposed to be?"
"Maybe, a ghost?" Sasha offered, looking at Mikasa's white shirt and long skirt.
"If she wasn't constantly glued to Eren's side," Jean began bitterly. "I would have asked her to be my Morticia Addams."
"She would rock that look," Sasha said with a dreamy smile. "Although, you're nearly not as handsome as Gomez."
"Hey!" Jean protested. "I would have been great as Gomez. And you," he smirked. "You could have been Wednesday and Pugsley."
"Eugh," Sasha and Connie exclaimed in unison.
"Now I'm kinda glad that Mikasa rejected you," Sasha told him truthfully.
"Shut up,” Jean mumbled.
"By the way," Sasha opened another sandwich and started eating it. "Did any of you see Historia? I'm curious what is she wearing. Her costumes are always so cute!"
"She's dressed as Princess Leia," Connie replied. "She even has her own Han Solo."
"Let me guess," Jean said. "It's Ymir?"
"Of course, it's Ymir. Although, calling her Han Solo may be a stretch, she's just wearing her usual work clothes, but now she also put a vest on."
"Ah, I want to come and say hi!" Sasha announced with her mouth still full of sandwich. "Where have you seen them, Connie?"
Connie made a face. "Last time I saw them, Ymir was dragging Historia to a supply closet, so..."
"Oh."
"Yeah, I don't think they'll come out soon."
"Oi, look," Jean pointed at the entrance door. "That's Miss Hange."
"What is she supposed to be?" Connie scratched his neck, frowning in confusion. "Some kind of scientist?"
"No, she's Frankenstein," Jean replied.
"Now how did you guess that?" Connie asked, glaring up at Jean.
Jean didn't say anything, just showed Connie who was accompanying Hange.
"Oh." Connie breathed out.
"Oh!" Sasha exclaimed. "Who is that?”
Jean sighed.
“Sasha, pay attention please. Look at that guy’s height.”
“No way!” Sasha’s eyes widened. “It’s Mr. Ackerman?”
“I didn’t take him for a guy, who dresses up for a Halloween,” Connie mused.
“Neither did I,” Jean agreed.
“Hey, if they came together, does that mean they’re dating?” Sasha cocked her head to the side, observing the strange couple.
“Don’t know,” Jean shrugged. “I thought it was just some kind of a running joke.”
“Let’s go to them!” Sasha wrapped her arms around Jean and Connie’s shoulders, pushing them in the direction of Levi and Hange.
“Are you insane?” Jean hissed. “What are you even going to say to them?”
If Miss Hange was by herself, Jean wouldn’t have minded approaching her. She was nice, and really funny. Mr. Ackerman, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. Whenever their eyes met, Jean felt an acute desire to hide under the table. Levi’s cold gaze terrified him.
“We won’t be talking to them,” Sasha assured him, leading them through the crowd of people. “I just want to take a better look. Mr. Ackerman’s make-up is amazing!”
Well, it was hard to argue with that. Levi wore a torn shirt and large jacket. His face was painted green with a few black stitches added on the side of his forehead. Jean had to admit, his costume was actually impressive. And Miss Hange, who was dressed in a white lab coat, which was purposefully dirtied with red and pink specks that were probably meant to represent the blood and parts of brain, with her big round glasses, crazy hair and even crazier grin, was a perfect Frankenstein.
“Just be quiet,” Jean warned his friends, as they stopped a little distance away from Hange and Levi. “I don’t want to get in trouble with Mr. Ackerman.”
Connie and Sasha nodded and then the three of them turned their gazes at Frankenstein and her monster.
Hange and Levi stood in a corner, holding plastic cups in their hands. Hange was talking about something, energetically gesticulating. Her hands moved so wildly it looked like soon she’d spill the contents of her cup on the floor. Levi sighed and took the cup out of her hands. Hange smiled gratefully.
“Wait,” she stopped her rant and turned to face Levi. “Your make-up is smudged,” she reached out and moved her thumb across his cheekbone, gently wiping the paint.
“Of course, it’s smudged,” Levi grumbled with annoyed face. “It’s hot as fuck in here. Why there are so many people?”
“Because our firm is big?” Hange offered with a tiny grin.
Levi tsked. “Smartass. By the way, when was the last time you cleaned your glasses? I can see nothing but your fingerprints, four-eyes,” he plucked them off her face, scowling in disgust. Tugging at Hange’s coat, Levi used it to clean her glasses. Hange didn’t even try to protest, just watched Levi’s ministrations with an affectionate smile.
Jean, Connie and Sasha stared at them with wide eyes.
“They act so…” Connie began and then faltered.
“Domestic,” Jean finished for him. “Geez, they really are together.”
“I’ve never thought I’d say this about Mr. Ackerman,” Sasha admitted. “But they look adorable.”
“They do,” Connie agreed.
“C’mon,” Jean took Sasha and Connie by their sleeves. “Let’s leave them alone. I still need to settle a score with Eren.”
"Ymir, stop it," Historia hissed, trying to shake her girlfriend's hands off her waist. "People are watching."
"Let them watch," Ymir smirked, putting her chin on top of Historia's head. "They're just envious."
"You're insufferable," Historia huffed. She raised her head to press a kiss on Ymir's jaw. "Why do I even put up with you?"
"Because I'm hot? Because I'm hilarious? Because I'm excellent in bed?"
"Ymir!" A pretty blush appeared on Historia's cheeks. Ymir mentally patted herself on a head.
"Babe," she drew out, leaning to kiss behind Historia's earlobe. Ymir's hot breath made shivers run down her neck. "Let's ditch this party and go back to that closet. I'm so bored here."
"But look around!" Historia exclaimed, trying to ignore the growing desire inside her. "Everyone is dressed so nicely!"
"I don't really care, you know."
"You should," Historia muttered with a small pout. "Our friends came up with really original costumes!"
Ymir scoffed. "Kirschtein is dressed as Dracula. And Mikasa is the worst ghost I've ever seen. She could have put at least some effort."
"You're the one to talk," Historia rolled her eyes. "Putting on a black vest doesn't make you Han Solo."
"The costume itself doesn't matter, when I have the most important thing," Ymir lowered her voice to a seductive whisper. "My pretty Princess Leia."
"And our superiors picked cool outfits as well," Historia continued, ignoring Ymir. She wouldn't let her break her resolve so easily. They came to enjoy the party, not make out in supply closets. Even if the latter option started to look more and more appealing to Historia.
"Mr. Smith came as Indiana Jones!" she pointed at the tall blonde. "Doesn't he look handsome?"
"Yeah," Ymir replied unenthusiastically.
"And Mr. Zacharias! He's dressed as Thor!"
Ymir tilted her head, staring at Mike critically. He wore a cheap looking blonde wig and something that looked like more like red blanket than actual cape. "He's a mighty god of thunder, indeed," she deadpanned.
Historia ignored her once again.
"Miss Nanaba looks so pretty," she mused instead.
This time Ymir couldn't disagree. Nanaba was probably supposed to be Jack Skellington. And while the white make-up on her face was ridiculous, the suit fitted her perfectly, accentuating every curve of her thin but muscled body.
"What," Historia teased. "No sarcastic comment?"
Ymir shrugged. "You know how much I love women in suit."
"Asshole," Historia muttered, rolling her eyes.
“That's why you love me, babe."
Sometimes Ymir was so annoying, Historia thought as she stared at her cocky grin. It made her want to kiss her, just so she could wipe that smug expression off her face.
"I don't see Miss Hange by the way," Historia looked around in confusion. "I wanted to see her costume so much..."
Again, Ymir agreed with her girlfriend on that one. Hange was a lunatic, there was no denying that, and her excited energy was truly draining, but she was funny. Most of all, Ymir enjoyed watching Hange bicker with Levi, that permanently scowling midget. It was nice to see that shorty grit his teeth in annoyance, as Hange continuously teased him.
"Nifa told me that her costumes are always amazing," Historia hanged her head. "And Mr. Ackerman is absent as well..."
Well, that wasn't surprising in a slightest. Levi was definitely not the type to come to office parties.
"Forget about them. It's Halloween," Ymir kissed Historia’s cheek, trying to cheer her up. "I need my treat."
"You are really needy, are you aware of that?" Historia asked with a stern expression.
Ymir shrugged. Sure, she loved receiving attention from her super-hot girlfriend. If that made her needy, then so be it.
"That's a yes to a second round of make out session in the closet?"
Historia frowned, biting her lip. "What if this time someone catches us?"
"Who could catch us? I doubt that other interns will need that closet, unless Kirschtein and Yeager suddenly decide to let out their frustration with each other in a more productive manner than just screaming and waving their fists around. And everyone else here is clearly too boring and old to indulge in such activities."
"Fine," Historia finally surrendered. "But we won't stay there for long. I want to chat with some of our friends afterwards."
Ymir certainly didn't share the same sentiment, but, well, love is built on compromises, right?
She grabbed Historia by the hand, leading her to a closet with a wide grin on her face. Turning her around and holding her face between her palms, Ymir kissed her on the lips. With her back against the door, she pushed it open with her leg.
Historia froze.
"Babe?" worry reflected in Ymir's eyes, as she stared at her. Did she do something wrong?
Historia said nothing, just frantically pulled Ymir closer and then quietly closed the door. She didn't stop, and with her hands wrapped still around Ymir, Historia dragged her as far from the closet as possible.
"Hey, hey, what's up?" Ymir was barely able to keep up with Historia's hurried steps.
"There was someone in the closet," Historia whispered with a terrified expression.
"Someone?" Ymir frowned. "Who?"
"I don't know, I didn't get a good look, and the costumes really made it hard to recognize the faces," she pushed a stray lock behind her hair, her gaze darting around nervously.
"What were the costumes?" Ymir asked impatiently. Oh, she wanted to know who was making out in the closer so much! If she finds out, she'd tease that couple so hard!
"I... I think it was Frankenstein and his monster? I definitely saw a white coat and a green make-up.”
"Frankenstein and his monster?" Ymir snickered. "If I knew that the book portrayed that side of their relationship, I would have read it in high school."
"Ymir!" Historia scolded, smacking her forearm.
"Wait..." Ymir drew her eyebrows together, thinking. She scanned the crowd of her co-workers, checking her theory. "There are only two people who are absent from the party..."
"No way..." Historia breathed out, coming to the same conclusion. "Are you trying to say that it was Miss Hange and Mr. Ackerman?"
"Well, it looks that midget is getting his treat this Halloween. Good for him," Ymir said cheekily. "Let's go and tell these nerds about it."
"You want to tell everyone?" Historia looked at her worriedly. She looked so cute with her pursed lips and that little frown, Ymir's heart skipped a beat.
"Sure," she replied nonchalantly, trying to hide from Historia the fact that just a moment ago she was staring adoringly at her. "It's not like it'd be a secret to anyone. The way they constantly looked at each other, it was only a matter of time before they got their shit together."
"Alright, but let's not tell them how we found them in a supply closet."
"You're too kind," Ymir sighed, throwing a hand over Historia's shoulder. "But if you don't want to make them jealous, so be it."
Historia rolled her eyes, but couldn't resist the desire to press a swift kiss in the corner of Ymir's smirk. "Let's go already."
When almost half an hour later, Levi and Hange came back to the party, all eyes were on them. Hange's hair was in bigger state of disarray than usual and Levi's lips were red and swollen.
"I helped Levi fix the make-up," Hange explained, when they joined Erwin, Mike and Nanaba.
"Isn't a closet a little dark for that?" Erwin asked with a smirk. Beside him Nanaba and Mike could barely held in their laughter.
Levi's blush was visible even under the green paint. Hange nervously chuckled. None of them tried to deny it though.
Erwin, Mike and Nanaba counted it as a success.