Archive of Our Own

Renjun’s lips were soft on his own but they always were, tasting faintly of the ice cream they had eaten minutes ago, hint of vanilla and chocolate, mixing with the plain taste of lip balm, smooth and smeary against his own drier ones. Sometimes his boyfriend liked to reprimand him for that, told him to care for his lips better, apply balm regularly, and in the beginning Jeno had tried but, nowadays, it was just so much easier to ask the older to help him out. Sweet kisses would usually be his reward, and then, on his lucky days, they could end up like this, too - Renjun on top of him, limbs entwined, one pair of hands above both their heads where their fingers lay interwoven. 

The sound of the TV was barely a sound of white noise to his ear, wasn’t nearly enough to distract him from his boyfriend, the barely there weight on top of him, slender waist beneath his arms, fingers carding through his hair, brushing back the singular strands. It was addicting, since the first time he had been allowed to kiss Renjun, he had been addicted to the taste. He could still remember the day so clearly, not a dramatic moment, it had actually been a quite innocent situation during which they had stood in the kitchen cooking together. A domestic moment, way sweeter than Jeno had anticipated he’d ever experience, not with his current life circumstances.

Into his mouth, Renjun giggled softly, a barely there sound if it weren’t for that little hiccuping noise that sometimes slips into laughter, of inhaling air and releasing sound all at the same time. “What are you thinking about?” The older whispered into their kiss still, every movement of lips sensed by their match, words that were just an extension to their prior activity.

“You,” Jeno retorted easily, smile on his lips and curving his eyes, he could feel the way his face crinkled up in reaction to it. Sometimes it was to the point he could barely see anymore but around Renjun he always tried to keep his focus, watch the other’s every reaction, like the little twitch of the right eyebrow that gave away some snarky reply would follow.

“Liar-” Indeed, there it was, and cut off with ease as the brunet rolled them around, changing their position so he was hovering above Renjun’s lighter frame who looked entirely unamused. “You brute! Using physical force isn’t-”

Once more, Jeno cut the older off, with his own lips this time, kiss a bit clumsy from how much he himself was grinning still. He could remember when he had been told that the one with whom he could make-out and fool around at once would be the right one, when Taeyong had told him such in all his pseudo-wisdom. If not the faith he put into his wonderful cousin, at least the words had stuck with him, caught up to him ever so often in a situation like this one, when he could hear and feel Renjun’s little jokes, when they weren’t ashamed to giggle into kisses or make fun of each other even at times like these. Banter was easy, it wasn’t always bad, and remaining serious in every single situation could easily backfire on them too. Just like this, that’s how Jeno wanted it. 

Some minutes must have passed like this, just kissing, touching, being close to each other, up to the point Renjun tasted no longer of vanilla and chocolate, not to mention his lips were slick with saliva and not balm at this point. Whether it was his own imagination and wishing or actually true, at this point Jeno was certain he had tainted his love with his own flavor. Just like their ice cream, they weren’t separate flavors of chocolate and vanilla, were a swirled mixture of both, pleasantly dissolving on their tongues. Renjun, without doubt, was this kind of pleasant taste, like the cigarettes he had smoked during his time of service it was addicting albeit for entirely different reasons. There was none of the sharp taste outside verbal intent, was none of the burning heat when ignoring the consumption of his essence and heart, was no drug when one couldn’t count Renjun himself as the drug. But kissing was a way better hobby to indulge than smoking, that he was more than certain of. 

After taking a quick breath, forehead resting against Renjun’s eyes meeting and lips curving, Jeno was just about to dive in for another round of kissing when he heard a little sound, nothing more than a little chortle that had his attention derailing instantly. His vantage point wasn’t the best so, with an apologetic smile on his lips, he sat up to look into the smaller bedroom, door open and cot in sight. The pale yellow blanket was still in place where he had draped it and, knowing Luda’s habits, she wasn’t awake unless she had kicked it off yet. A little detail he was so accustomed to it was like a reflex to check for, one that had him sighing in relief for his private time was not yet cut off.

Merely a second passed between his exhale and the surprised mewl he released, the lips he had just wanted to return to tasting attached to his jaw instead, sucking a mark into a spot he could only explain as bruise from a brawl or his very boyfriend’s fault. Half a mind to ease the strain on Renjun’s neck, Jeno rolled them around again, head falling back to reveal more of his neck, the places the older so readily went for, bruising his skin with harsh suction only to mend it better, rubbing the soft underside of his tongue against the colored spots. He couldn’t even remember when his smaller boyfriend had found out that Jeno liked it more, the slick smoothness rather than rough upside, now he only mourned how much of an advantage was taken of it again and again.

“You know,” he finally managed to bring out, once he got some of his wits and coherent thoughts back again, “I’m the one working with other people…” Which meant they would make fun of him again, tease him about finally having some game or whatever, as if they weren’t painfully aware of how absolutely lost in love he was with his boyfriend. On the other hand, it wasn’t as if they would stop teasing him without marks too, they sure enjoyed being allowed to poke fun at their manager, regardless of the circumstance.

The only response he received was a non-committal hum, his protest clearly ignored, entirely brushed aside in the same way he could feel the fabric of his shirt be pushed upwards. Because Renjun had said he liked the way his skin was always warm, energy level higher and therefore also his body temperature, an entire opposite to his boyfriend’s always cold feet, fuzzy socked feet brushing against his calves when the smaller laid down again, clothed toes hooking around his shin, rubbing into his skin. It would be more distractory if it weren’t for warm breath against his neck, the delicate sensation that so often reminded him of his cats and their tails brushing along his legs when he had them on his lap. He had left them with his parents years ago, and now he didn’t have the environment to take them back anymore. Renjun, though, was a welcome replacement.

“It’s because you’re working with other people,” the older finally answered along with stopping his ministrations, Renjun simply rested his head on top of Jeno’s chest, an inch off from where his heart beat heavily and must be so clearly heard. A silent hum escaped the brunet, questioning, but it was enough to prompt a continuation, “The girls at the market talked about you again. Did you see the hot guy at Lee’s? ” Annoyed as ever, Renjun rolled his eyes. “Gotta make sure I put my claim on you before they get some stupid idea of their own.”

Accompanying possessive words, slender fingers danced along Jeno’s head, pressed into the bruises lightly, had him tilt his head back again, breath hitching lightly. Leave it to him to end up with the only man who could rile him up ever so easily. A favor he wanted to repay, hands well on their way to grab Renjun by the belt loops and nap to pull him up further, when there was another noise interrupting them. Not from the bedroom this time though, it was the familiar creak of the front door, that was followed a moment later by a familiar shriek and, effectively, draining all color from his face.

“Lee Jeno!” Two thumps of what must be shoes getting kicked around, hypocritically so, “Why is it always such a mess at your place? Didn’t I tell you Luda might- Wait…” Halting in his steps, blonde hair almost merging with the creme hue of his walls, was his best friend looking at them with wide eyes. Jeno suddenly rejected having placed his L-shaped couch with the shorter side towards the hallway, so easily revealing them in their compromising situation, and compromising it was for sure. 

Jaemin’s eyes slimmed in that usual way he liked to show to suspects in his cases, when he was taking every detail in - Renjun’s hips being aligned with Jeno’s, rumpled shirts and revealed abs, the line of ruddy marks adorning the younger’s neck, mussed up hair and swollen lips. The eventual conclusion was sort of disappointing, though, nothing more than, “Aha!” Pointing his finger, the blond wiggled his hand, then took a turn and headed for the kitchen, presumably to drop down his groceries for he came back empty handed, and neither of the two had yet made a move to part.

Jeno simply because he was too baffled, Renjun on the other hand looked almost smug, lips stretching into a grin when watching the police sergeant return to the living room and settling in his singular TV chair, wood scraping against wood from the impact. Arms crossed and eyes slim, Jaemin looked all sorts like a fed up bunny and not the least like the intimidating best friend he wanted to be. “When?”

Or, when translated, Since when has this been going on? A question Renjun most definitely didn’t want to answer if the raised eyebrow and amused look was anything to go by, way more strong-minded than Jeno was himself. “Two weeks? Or maybe three?”

Dramatic as ever, Jaemin gasped, eyes widening comically, or at least it would be comic if the flat owner couldn’t sense his impending doom. “ Two weeks ? And you did not care to tell me?” Reflexes too fast to be fair, the blond flung a pillow towards them, but there was fairness in the universe, aim off, and instead of Jeno it was Renjun to be hit. Not the smartest idea, as much the man below knew, for the cushion was thrown right back, landing smack in Jaemin’s face. Whose expression fell right the next moment, fading from hidden glee into utter dread. “It’s not because you aren’t official, is it?”

“I- That’s-” Jeno tried, suddenly overwhelmed with the situation or, more accurate, the questions he was asked. Because they hadn’t actually talked about it, in all this time he had just resorted to calling Renjun as his boyfriend without asking for confirmation soon, and now that he was faced with a reality in which he had to answer, he didn’t know what to say.

“We are. Official.” Words that so easily left Renjun’s lips, not an ounce of hesitation but a little question in the way he raised his eyebrow yet again, as if asking the younger to protest. None of which Jeno had an intent to, right on the opposite, his heart beat faster within his chest, up to the point he was certain Renjun would hear it. Albeit there was no need to, not when nimble fingers smoothed down the fabric covering his chest before splaying out, palm above his heart, rhythm so easily felt. 

“Oh- Oh!” Hearts floating around Jaemin’s head were too easy to imagine, ever so obvious in the way such lovely person loved the idea of love, the kind of friend who made him watch all sorts of romantic movies and Jeno had always thought to have escaped the notion of chick flicks due to his lack of female friends. Jaemin and Jaehyun together, it would be like seeing love personified in the same room, and it was the same reason Jeno had always refused to let them meet. Too much love and affection all at once seemed kind of dangerous to him. 

Imaginary heart-eyes growing bigger, Jeno didn’t even have to look to know the younger was leaning forward in interest, Jaemin’s body language as familiar to him as his own or Luda’s, too. But his own eyes were on Renjun, he wasn’t able to look elsewhere, too captivated by his now certain boyfriend, gaze locked and ears attentive towards the cop who asked, “How did that happen anyways?”

Well, yeah, how did that happen…

Saturday afternoon always was what Jeno had secretly called date afternoon for himself, when they broke out of their usually boring routine to actually attempt doing something special - not just spending dinner together or distributing their grocery runs, they really put an effort. Once, when the summer heat had first peaked ahead of a thunderstorm, they had tried to make ice cream the Italian style, all with eggs and plenty of milk and cream. Their only fault had been not to be aware that they had been supposed to stir it instead of just freezing it so, in the end, their ice cream had been pretty solid but Luda hadn’t been bothered by it so they hadn’t been either. 

That afternoon, because of his cousin’s upcoming birthday, Renjun had meant to teach him how to bake a cake which, in first place, wasn’t the smartest idea. Naturally, Jeno’s culinary skills had expanded throughout the recent months but baking was certainly not his forte, nor was any other a bit more difficult dish. He had wanted to try, though, because Taeyong had always taken well care of him and tried to help him out where possible, it was the least he could do to repay a bit of that favor by feeding into the older one’s sweet tooth. Chocolate cake with strawberries and cream was their challenge for the day, thanks to Luda’s choosing after skipping through a recipe book and excitedly clapping down onto one page, exclaiming, “Pawbewwy!”

Which had proven to be yet another incident during which Jeno was more than grateful towards the other, adjusting the original recipe that most definitely was not a strawberry cake to one that could be used as such, explaining in toddler level comprehensiveness to Jeno how they’d make chocolate cake filled with strawberry cream and topped with plain cream and the real fruit. One trial run that afternoon, instructions that would be jotted down in neat handwriting so the younger could repeat the process step by step another day, closer to Taeyong’s actual birthday. Days like that always made Jeno wonder how he had been able to do about anything prior meeting Renjun.

In exchange for the favor in question, he had volunteered to do that day’s grocery run, along with Renjun’s personal list which had then, in turn, led to the home owner declaring to prepare dinner for them. Something Jeno was yet again immensely grateful for, albeit that much had become the norm for them, exchanging favor against favor, it was a constant give and take, and compared to the only other relationship had led before, this one made him feel more comfortable. Even if it wasn’t yet an official one. His high school girlfriend, though, she had always asked for this and that, but she hadn’t put in the same effort Jeno had, and when they had eventually broken up, he hadn’t felt too sorry about it. 

The grocery bags were heavy that day, left red streaks on his hands from the uncomfortably distributed weight. By the time he was able to plant them on the kitchen counter, he breathed a sigh of relief, eyes falling by reflex on Renjun with Luda between his legs, sat together on the couch, watching some children’s show on TV. Watching them like this, domestic serenity surrounding them, was something he could do for hours and all day long, a sight he wouldn’t ever get tired of in this life.

Across the room, Renjun gave him a smile and tilted his head in a silent question, the offer to help now that Jeno had already put in the hard work of dragging everything around who silently shook his head in denial. At that point he was already familiar enough with the other’s kitchen to know where everything belonged, putting the things they wouldn’t need immediately to the side, making sure he was in line with Renjun’s way neater methods of storing things. A striking contrast to his own apartment but between work and caring for Luda he didn’t have the energy to pour spices into glass containers and tagging them accordingly, would just buy them in the mill in store already. At least those few he actually used, and he had been awfully chaotic in storing them too.

Handful times he cross checked with the list of ingredients written on the recipe to remind himself of what he needed to keep outside for their following task, allowing the sounds of TV and Luda’s bubbly laughter to drown out his own thoughts, aiding him in ignoring how beautifully his heart ached with the familiarity of such situation. It had been too easy to get used to Renjun when he was like this, always so caring, in his own ways easy to understand, outspoken and direct like the arrangement of spices on the shelf. But it was because of Renjun being so straightforward and direct that it had been so easy, the lanes to navigate painted on the ground he walked, and he couldn’t be more thankful for that.

It was when he closed the fridge door for the last time that he felt fingers curl around his shoulder, the pressure put on that same spot from how Renjun used him as support for tiptoeing, peering over his shoulder into the fridge to check for the contained goods. There had been countless instances previously when Jeno had gotten the wrong items, a repeat neither of the two wanted to have, if for different reasons.This time around, Renjun looked satisfied with the choices, nodding his head once before turning around to sift through the ingredients, getting out bowls and a hand-held mixer too.

“What we’re gonna do first,” the smaller male started explaining, pushing up his sleeves before reaching for the eggs, “is seperate them. We’ll do a firm sponge mixture so we need the egg whites beaten which” - Renjun’s eyes demonstratively went down to Jeno’s arms - “I’m sure won’t be a problem for you, right?”

Jeno would normally want to complain about his host getting the electric mixer while he had to beat the eggs by hand, but one glint from the older was sufficient to shut him up. Surprisingly, also, beating egg whites was easier than he had anticipated, especially when compared to that one time Jaemin had baked for him only for them to suffer a power outage. Whipping cream, he learnt whilst standing next to Renjun, was way harder than beating eggs.

The noises they made attracted Luda’s attention too who screamed once with how watching TV was no longer satisfying. A little high pitched wail in the way she liked to whenever she wanted to have something, and it was something Jeno was kind of thankful for, that she wasn’t one of those kids spending half their day bawling their eyes out and being a nuisance mostly to the people around. She was quiet but demanding in her own ways, somewhat similar to Renjun, so sometimes Jeno faulted that habit of hers on his neighbor instead. But pre-Renjun, too, she had been mostly calm, would wail once to signal she was hungry, or that she didn’t like to be bathed, or when she couldn’t sleep, and she would only start to actually cry if she didn’t get whatever she had wanted in time.

Just like right at this moment, so Jeno was quick to interrupt his whisking for the moment it took to walk over to her who had already slipped off the couch in practiced manner and, with her hand on the cushion, took a few wobbly steps towards him. She still released a delighted sound when he finally picked her up, and carefully balancing her with one hand, Jeno grabbed the kiddy chair with another to place it near the counter, settling her into it. At the same time, Renjun had washed a few of the strawberries with one hand, all of which Jeno then destemmed and put into a little bowl for her to eat while they continued to work.

“I think you’re pretty much done,” Renjun decided after testing the foamy white, twisting the bowl he had stolen around a bit. “But before you beat the air out of it again, we’ll stop here. Can you measure the flour for me?” And what Renjun wanted, Jeno normally did, measuring the flour down to the gram while watching - and listening to the explanation of - the other melt some chocolate in a double boiler method. Actually, it simply was a bowl with chocolate on top of a pot with water but to the younger, who wasn’t used to baking cakes like those, it was highly fascinating anyways. 

“You know, I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone bake a cake,” Jeno silently admitted, a bit embarrassed by such reality himself. It wasn’t that he was unfamiliar with cake, neither was it the first time he would eat one, but his mother had always been a bit more on the traditional side of things, had prepared different versions of rice cakes or sugared scorched rice if it had to be quick. Cakes as they did in the west they had mostly bought, and even then it had been a rare treat, and if anyone were to ask, Jeno would have never be able to tell the different doughs apart, not to mention name them. 

Renjun didn’t judge him, didn’t even raise one questioning eyebrow at him, only passed him a short look before focusing on the melting chocolate again. “Doesn’t Jaemin bake a lot?” He asked curiously, and dipped his pinky into the gooey sauce. “Make sure the chocolate isn’t too hot. For someone like you, melting the chocolate first might actually be the best, so it can cool down a bit and your yolks won’t get cooked in it.” First a few spoons, then the entirety of the warmed sweet was poured into the mixture of yolks, sugar and vanilla, carefully mixing them into a smooth texture by the older by hand.

“There’s two methods to go about it now,” Renjun went on, careful in the way he was explaining everything simply to make sure Jeno would understand. “You can pour in the flour first and then fold the egg whites into it or you layer the egg whites on top of the chocolate mass and then sift the flour on top. But because I don’t trust your brute strength, we should probably go with the first option…” Even Renjun sounded a bit hesitant at that, as if he were weighing his options off in mind still, and Jeno didn’t dare interfere, not when Renjun was the one knowing what they were doing exactly and he was merely going along with it. 

After some seconds of careful consideration, the lavender haired made his choice and promptly passed on further instructions to Jeno who was, obedient as ever, following, scraped stiff egg whites over chocolatey yolk and topped it with flour, careful mixing it into one smooth dough. Under Renjun’s careful scrutiny, the batter was completed quickly, poured into a baking pan and placed in the oven. One of the modern ones, with a timer built in which hopelessly amazed Jeno because, and he was certain about that, his own most modern kitchen application was his coffee machine - or maybe there were other modernized things too, and he simply didn’t know because he hadn’t used them yet.

The baking, much to his surprise, was followed by a break, declared by one grinning Renjun literally throwing the towel. Circling his shoulders lightly, he tilted his head this way and that, as if holding a hand mixer was actually that strenuous. “Once it’s done, it’ll need to rest and cool down anyways so shall we put on a movie meanwhile?” Sparkling eyes and rosy lips, there was no way Jeno could ever have denied such request that was so cute. Almost as cute as Luda’s questioning face, actually.

So that’s how Jeno found himself on the couch for the first time today, watching My Little Mermaid because that seemed to be a sufficient compromise between Disney loving Renjun and not yet two year old Luda. Jeno didn’t ever have a say in their choices either way.

Like that, watching a movie and with Renjun getting the cake out of the oven, eating berries on the couch and letting Luda play with his fingers, a good fraction of the afternoon easily passed. It was by the end of the movie that Jeno first realized how drowsy the toddler looked, eyes heavy, cheeks blown out in protest and a healthy flush on her face that had his heart instantaneously melting. “Is my baby sleepy, hm?” He asked quietly as he picked her up again, his hold gentle as he moved her over to her playpen for a nap, wrapped into a blanket and cuddly in her hands. Later that day, when it was actually her bedtime, he would surely regret it when she wouldn’t want to sleep again, and simultaneously he was happy about every slightest amount of free time he received, of which he definitely didn’t have much. 

Stretching upwards, shirt slipping around his midriff, Jeno didn’t miss out on Renjun’s gaze catching onto his revealed skin, something he didn’t feel himself able to ever miss out on, and it most definitely wasn’t the first time it had happened. Ever so often those curiously dark eyes would land on his body, something that had him feel a bit flustered regardless of how often it had happened already, lowering his head in embarrassment whilst he held out his hand to pull the smaller up too. “Time to finish the cake?” He tried, looking for any kind of option that would get him out of this maybe awkward position, but not calling the other out didn’t mean he wasn’t curious to know what it was exactly and actually that went through Renjun’s mind when doing this.

“Time to finish the cake,” his host agreed, not quite as energetic as he had been earlier but still allowing Jeno to pull him and towards the kitchen. Their hands, curiously so, did not part just yet, rather it was the contrary, fingers entwining and squeezed lightly as they settled in the kitchen again, and Renjun pulled the few things they needed for the cream out of the fridge. With his other hand, that was, because the one was occupied with holding onto its match up to then. 

The following minutes consisted of dropping ingredients into a bowl and mixing them well, cream sticky and thick and not unlike what Jeno was familiar with from all his times at the bakeries. “Mascarpone is my favorite,” Renjun confessed, fingers curling around the younger’s wrist to stop the whisking, and after having let go of their hands it was their first touch again, almost searing hot now that the dark haired was aware of it. 

Jeno couldn’t help watch the older who leaned forward to look into the bowl, directing the egg beater holding hand to test for the creaminess of the mixture. The lilac strands were getting a bit longer around the nape, curling upwards a bit, looking entirely too cute. Despite being bleached to the hair equivalent of death, it looked almost as soft as Luda’s, had the taller curious to touch it, except it wasn’t something he dared do. It seemed almost too intimate, regardless of all they had done before, it wasn’t a line he had yet crossed. 

Pinky dipping inside, Renjun was quick to have a try, sucking the cream into his mouth, appreciative hum following right after which reassured the dark haired too, because it meant his cream hadn’t failed entirely, even if it was Renjun’s recipe originally and he had plenty faith in the other. The ring finger followed, but this time it didn’t disappear behind the owner’s lips, the cream was held out to Jeno himself, along with the offer, “You should- try…”

Had they been so close before too? Jeno couldn’t tell, couldn’t help his eyes falling down to the older’s lips at the edge of which was a hint of white cream still. The sight alone was enough to have his breath hitching, and he couldn’t help himself, couldn’t help the way he leaned down to press his lips to the corner of the rosy pair, tasting the cream left behind there. “Tastes good…” He whispered, sounding more confident than he felt with how the heat crept up his neck.

“Yeah… Let me try again,” Renjun muttered, finger smearing cream along Jeno’s lips now, and before the younger could lick it off the lilac haired already took care of that of his own, claiming their match with a tender kiss. “Hm… tastes really good…” A faint mumble, followed by another kiss, and this time around the cream was forgotten for sure. 

Fingers snapped in front of his face, called him out of his reveries, and Jeno flinched lightly. Heat rose to his cheeks with ease, eyes wide as he looked up at Renjun on top of him, grinning amused and one eyebrow raised. “You were staring, baby. Thinking about me again?” There was a teasing glint in those dark eyes, the kind that would usually lure Jeno into going along with the ride, confess his honest thoughts to the older just to have him flustered from the forwardness.

It was the memory of his best friend sitting on the couch adjacent to them that held him back from doing just that, hands rubbing little circles into Renjun’s thighs before he stopped that, too, when feeling Jaemin’s eyes on them. Heated with interest, they were enough to make the home owner pull back, scrambling around a bit until they were seated in a more proper way on the couch. 

Luda’s waking scream came just at the right time, gave him an excuse to jump upwards and head into the other room after apologizing quickly, just to get his niece back into his arms to hold her close and calm her down. She was his treasure, and now she was his savior too for rescuing him from such sensible situation, something he also didn’t hesitate whispering into her tiny ear while pressing some kisses to her chest.

“Ah, by the way, Jaemin,” he called out from the bedroom, not even bothering to look over as he moved over to her dressing table to place her down carefully, needing to change her diapers now that she was awake again, and before she’d get to eat something of her own, “You’re in charge of cooking for disrupting us. And make more, I’ll have to go to work again tomorrow.”

“So demanding!” The called man whined, sounding playfully offended when they all knew he wasn’t at all. Jaemin thrived off caring for people, and most definitely in a job he wasn’t able to. Not to mention the kind of lost case he was for Luda and - who could blame him? Even Jeno adored his niece so much, and he spent almost the entirety of his days with her too. Even more charming than Renjun was too, and he had stolen Jeno’s heart so well. 

“Luda, my darling!” Mrs Lee exclaimed the second Jeno had come in through the door, rushing out of the kitchen at a dangerous speed considering she had slipped already once and broken her pelvis bone that way. Love blinded, and Jeno was reminded of that every time he visited, as his mother so carefully plucked the growing toddler out of her son’s arms to cradle in her own, resting the infant’s weight on her healthy hip while swaying her lightly. “I missed you so much, my baby. 

“Hi, mom,” Jeno smiled, already used to her ways, all the more when he had heard throughout almost all his youth how she would have loved to have another baby, and then how much she was looking forward to them growing up and gifting her with grandchildren already. He was certain she hadn’t anticipated for things to play out this way. “I missed you too, you know?” Eyes crinkling at the sight of his mother holding the small girl so tenderly, always so caring, he couldn’t help but feel all warm and tingly, could understand her parental instincts so well. “I brought someone else along, mom.”

A surprised sound escaped the elder lady who finally looked away from the tiny human clothed in a ruffled yellow dress and to her guests, spotting not only her son but the other young male behind too. “Oh,” she mouthed, gaze drifting down and up Renjun’s body until she broke into a wide smile. “Is that the boy Jaemin told me about? The one you’ve been crushing on for a few weeks now?” No hint of shame on her face about embarrassing her own son, she smiled brightly, not deterred by the additional mouth to feed. “Oh, what am I doing - come in, come in!”

Quickly she ushered the yet unknown boy inside, placed her free hand on his upper back to guide him into their kitchen and dining area where she sat him down, neglecting her own son first in favor of a baby and now for an unknown man. Jeno, watching on, could only shake his head at his own mother as he followed behind. “Is dad back already?” He asked, his fingers absentmindedly caressing down Renjun’s nape in the passing to pet them something to drink while his mother was busy sitting Luda in her chair. 

“No, dear, he’s still at work. But it shouldn’t be long until he arrives, just in time for lunch!” She exclaimed brightly, head turning to where her son was. “Will you make me some tea, would you be so kind?” An easy question, seemingly innocent, but Jeno knew better than not to doubt her intentions when she sat down at the table across from Renjun, cloth already spread out, the little wooden box filled with small flower pots placed amiable in the middle, framed by the scented candles she liked so much, placed on little plates rather than caged by glass. 

Before she could trap his boyfriend, Jeno shot her a look over his shoulder and asked, “Did you hear from Ahin-noona recently?” Only shortly his eyes darted to Renjun who tilted his head in question, familiar with the name but not the circumstances exactly. All he had been told by Jeno so far was that there was a situation, one that hadn’t been explained, and the dark haired wasn’t certain he actually wanted to either. Not for he thought that the pink haired wouldn’t understand, it was because so many before hadn’t that explaining had become tiresome to him, he didn’t feel ready to have that kind of talk yet.

His mother’s eyes softened, expression gentle and solemn alike. “She’s doing well. Better. But she didn’t even ask about Luda… I don’t think anything will change for you, dear. It might never…”

There was confusion, and hurtful disappointment in Renjun’s eyes, something Jeno more sensed than saw, and Mrs Lee must have too. Promptly she clapped her hands together, the sound of ringing through the room sharply. “Dear! Darling, I forgot to ask for your name entirely. I’m so sorry! I hope our son is treating you well, is he? If he does anything wrong, you have to report to us! We raised him better than to be unjust!”

Slightly, the Chinese’ eyes widened, faint pink dusted across soft cheeks. “He treats me very well, Auntie, he-”

“Please!” Mrs Lee was quick to interrupt, placing her hands on top of Renjun’s on the table, eyes bright with delight. “You can call me mom too. You’re family now, darling.” Such words immediately brought a flush to the man’s face, something she only softened at and Jeno smiled at. It was comforting to see his boyfriend be so easily accepted.

Placing the cup of tea down, Jeno used the chance to bend down to his mother’s ear to prompt her not so secretly, “His name is Renjun, Ma. And he really loves your radish kimchi.” Seeing her expression brighten instantaneously, he felt no regret in stepping away for another moment to get their drinks, too, and then once more to put some handwarm juice into the kiddy bottle for Luda who seemed torn between attentively observing and dozing off. She was happier with her drink in hands, taking some greedy tiny sips as soon as she got to, and watching her, Jeno finally sat down too, allowed the motherly questioning to wash over him.

It wasn’t like he had worried about his family not accepting Renjun, as far as his opinion went, anyone Jaemin was smitten with his mother would be too, and she hadn’t ever bothered about his sexuality either. As far as he could remember, when he had confessed to her on the phone some months ago, the most she had told him had been that, “You have a child now anyways, baby. You couldn’t make me any happier so you should take care of your own happiness now too. It’s long overdue, my dear.”

To now be able to see that his lack of worries had been valid, he felt at ease, could relax when knowing that his mother was enchanted by Renjun, as was everyone else as well, and the more she talked to the pink haired, the more her expression brightened. Regardless of his focus on Luda, keeping her entertained by letting her wrestle with his pinky, he didn’t miss out on the easy conversation and the amiable air surrounding them. So long as his mother was endeared with his boyfriend, no one else in the family would be able to protest.

Even then, it didn’t take long for his father to come home, once again the infant was the first to be greeted and Jeno just watched on from the sight. Underneath the table he could feel nimble fingers squeeze at his thigh, calling for his attention silently, the perpetrator of already anticipating him with a tender smile. “Are you okay? You’ve been so focused on Luda, I just-”

“Oh, heaven! We have a guest,” Mr Lee interrupted, looking honestly baffled, and Jeno couldn’t even blame him. He knew his parents, knew their focus zoomed in on the little girl as soon as they saw her, it was to the point his father had forgotten to kiss his mother hello the way he usually would in the privacy of their home. “Honey, why didn’t you warn me at all?” Was the greeting instead, directed at the older woman, then at Renjun again, “I’m Lee Haeil. It’s nice to meet you, …?”

“Renjun. Huang Renjun,” said man exclaimed, quick to get up and bow politely, much to Mr Lee’s amusement who only laughed, gesturing for the younger to sit down again. Luda’s short screech seemed just right to defer the older one’s attention, focusing on the little girl who wanted her juice back, talking to her about this and that, telling her about how she’d get to meet her uncle’s cats later on which immediately caught her attention, too.

“Cats? Aren’t you allergic?” Renjun whispered, or tried to, because he had still talked loud enough to make Jeno’s mother standing near the stove snicker. It seemed he had a realization the next second, eyes darting back to where the door was, their car parked outside on the street. “Is that what you took meds for?”

Jeno hummed in agreement, quickly leaned in to press a kiss to Renjun’s temple, had to go help his mother before she would scold him for not aiding her, and as much as he wanted his boyfriend to be comfortable, he didn’t need to ruin his own familial image like this just yet. Plating with another pair of hands was easier, and the table was covered in main and side dishes in a matter of minutes, food steaming and smell enticing. 

His mother had just sat down, Jeno close to follow and settle down next to their guest again, when her questioning picked up again, “So, dear. Jaeminnie didn’t yet tell me how you met but I’m so curious! You have to tell me!”

It was the one question Jeno had dreaded, could feel the slightest flush of shame creep up his neck as he lowered his head at the same time, finding their meal a lot more interesting now. “It’s not that interesting a story…” He tried to deter, at the same time as Renjun elbowed him lightly, expression bright and full of delight at the prospect of being allowed to embarrass his own boyfriend like that.

Jeno felt like going crazy slowly, at the end of the wits after so many hours of not being able to do much more and not knowing what else there was left to try. And his ears felt like close to bursting, hearing her little yells for hours now, it was so unlike her to be as loud as that, all the more when even the daycare had called him so he could pick her up because her constant crying made the other infants lose their calm too. In retrospect, he should have been smarter and asked the childminder what could be at fault for that when he had the chance to, except in all his hurry and flurry he had forgotten to, had been reassured when he had been told Luda had no fever. And now that he did think of it, it was already too late, the sun about to set and most definitely not the right time to call a middle-aged lady handling five to six toddlers on the daily. Mrs Kim deserved some time to rest too.

If only he wasn’t approaching the end of his wits, and honestly felt all the empathy with those parents who talked about their babies screaming all the time. He had always been glad she wasn’t like that, but now he was all the more because he couldn’t even imagine her to bawl her eyes out like this quite every day. Which she was certainly doing today, and none of his actions had helped - she had denied to drink milk and water, had screamed the same amount in his arms and her bed, hadn’t wanted her teether nor any other of her toys, had cried throughout her shows and whatmore, he couldn’t tell whether she was sick or not when she had no fever or breathing problems of any sort. 

It was just his kind of luck, his parents on a vacation he didn’t want to disrupt and Jaemin on shift so there was no one he could ask to help him out. Which might sound stupid when it would only include a short call but his mother was the type to pack all her things in an instant the second she heard the toddler was unwell, all about the ways of mother knows best , and Jeno most certainly was no mother. No matter how deep his connection to Luda ran, he didn’t have a parental instinct quite as strong, and it showed. And Jaemin simply had enough to handle, with how he had been promoted only recently and was already faced with a serious case. Anything that could complicate matters… Jeno really didn’t want to be at fault for hindering his best friend’s career in any possible way.

Nevertheless, Luda had been crying since noon and possibly longer and it was evening already, he was growing frantic himself. At the rate this was going, he wouldn’t be able to sleep for a second this night, regardless of whether she stopped or not, because his worries that something might happen to her during rest were too dominant even then. Reaching this point, he just wished someone would finally tell him what was going on because he certainly wasn’t able to tell when it was unlike the habitual infection she got. The first time he had panicked and called his mother who had raced to his place only to scold him for calling her for a cold, the kind that would pass quickly with a baby her age. It wasn’t too dramatic, and he had handled the second case way better but this - this was new, and it was no cold for sure.

Another hour had passed, of him just carrying her in his arms which were slowly feeling numb, walking around the apartment in hopes the little jostle would calm her down sufficiently. It didn’t, much to his fears, and he dreaded her little lungs exhausting themselves more than his own limbs falling off. He was growing tired, mentally more than physically, and it had him grasp at straws, the sole and only reason why he was standing in front of his neighbor’s door, knuckles resting against the wood, knocking sound yet having to faint out, and her wailing, albeit more quiet, still filling his ears. It hurt, not his body but his heart, because he just wanted to help her and he didn’t know how, had him grow desperate and the same emotion must be showing in his eyes.

His neighbor was quick to open the door, eyes widening in surprise but one look from the exhausted parent to the screaming baby and he was already holding his hands out for her, taking her without word nor greeting. Usually Jeno wasn’t careless like this, didn’t let just anyone touch Luda not to mention carry her but he had spent enough late mornings on his balcony, working on his papers from home, to have seen the handsome male with a baby of his own in his hands. It wasn’t his neighbor’s, he had realized that quickly when another and older man had come to pick the toddler up later that day, but it was enough of a display of skill for Jeno not to protest now.

Embarrassingly enough, he still whined lightly when the familiar weight was gone from his arms, and the smaller man gave him an empathetic look. “Not exactly how I imagined to get to know you, Lee,” the blond teased carefully whilst stepping aside, not saying anything about shoes when Jeno was still wearing his house slippers obviously.

Lee. Much more they didn’t know of each other, only their surnames, the ones they could read off each other’s door plates, something associated with a variety of rumors. One was that their street’s parcel courier was a bit dyslexic and had mistaken numbers so often that their landlady had decided to help him out by attaching name plates next to the numbers, another was that the old lady herself couldn’t remember people well and used the plates as a hints as to how she had to address people, or simply because she liked her residents to socialize more. 

“I’m sorry,” Jeno muttered as he stepped out of his slippers anyways, socked feet feeling rubbed raw from walking around as much, a strain he wasn’t exactly used to anymore. Manners drilled into him generously, he bowed at his waist and introduced himself, “Lee Jeno. And the girl you're holding is Luda. And I know I’m intruding and it’s late but she’s been crying for hours and I just-” His voice sounded wet, funnily enough because his eyes most definitely weren’t, and the other must have noticed too, hand coming down warmly to brush down some of the unruly strands of dark hair.

“I’ve heard. You must be tired, did you even get to eat something yet?” The petite male asked, voice softer than Jeno had anticipated but also barely able to drown out the increased volume of Luda’s screams. Pulling his hand back to hold the infant more securely, the blond swayed her around a bit until she stopped screaming, albeit still sobbing audibly. 

Jeno could only watch with pitiful eyes, heart squeezing tight at having to observe Luda being obviously uncomfortable, and shook his head in denial. He couldn’t even remember when he had eaten last, it must have been breakfast, and he didn’t have the strength to refuse when the smaller tilted his head in silent command, leading him to the kitchen that was placed in a mirror position of his own. Their apartments were mirrored, he realized a bit belatedly, but that shouldn’t come to him as a surprise when they were next door neighbors indeed. 

“Thought so,” the stranger smiled and pulled out a small pot, expertly slinking around the kitchen to pull a glass container from the fridge to heat the food inside up, and Jeno wasn’t sure whether it was just exhaustion clouding his mind or whether his current host really somehow had managed to look magically elegant despite holding a growing baby in his arms. Stew and some noodles were quick to be prepared and placed on the oven, allowing the man to lean back against the counter and pull Luda more to his front. “Hm, so what’s bothering you, little beauty? It’s not a fever for sure…”

Regardless not having been offered a seat, Jeno dropped into one of the high stools around the corner of the kitchen counter, burying his face in his hands as he exhaled heavily. “She’s been screaming all day long, doesn’t eat and barely drinks anything. I don’t think it’s her teeth because they’re almost fully out and it’s not her stomach either so I’m just really- I don’t know what else it could be…”

The home owner hummed understandingly, tilting his head to the side to look at her carefully, so many questions in his eyes that Jeno couldn’t help bracing himself for the impending questions. “Didn’t they say anything in antenatal class?”

“I didn’t attend those.” It wasn’t a lie, there hadn’t been no reason for Jeno to go there, and even if he had to, there was no way when he had served his conscription at the same time.

“Her mother-”

“Isn’t available,” Jeno interrupted, and despite his fatigue he must have sounded resolute enough to cut off any further questions on that matter. He was thankful for that, he was growing tired of answering always the same inquiries, as if no one trusted a man enough to raise a child on his own. It was hypocritical, for a society that was so conservative, where men were supposed to be better at all and everything, to be in charge of family and home, and then they were unable to be a single parent all the same, because such task was continuously pushed onto the mothers to the point the fathers seemed incapable entirely.

For a second the blond just assessed him, the kind of gaze that would make anyone squirm away, but nothing more followed. The baby holding male simply turned around to put the food in a bowl and take some chopsticks along, placing it all down in front of Jeno carefully. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll bathe her shortly. It sometimes helps calm my cousin down.”

Slowly, the parent nodded at that, grasping at the chopsticks that trembled in his hold. “If you think it’ll help her… I’m honestly glad about any sort of aid at this point,” he laughed weakly, was quick to take his first bite before his voice would end up breaking for good. The last time he had cried was when one of his roommates had twisted his ankle uncomfortably during a trek and their trainer had demanded him to go on anyways. Getting reprimanded by an officer was embarrassing enough, to do so with tears in his eyes because it was outright unfair was an entirely different matter. “Tastes good.”

At the compliment, the stranger broke into a smile, hand coming up by reflex seemingly to ruffle up the dark strands he had earlier put into place, and then he was gone already, leaving Jeno alone with food, the sound of the basin running in the bathroom accompanied by her little wails. He felt guilty, for leaving Luda with someone else, it was the duality of dire situations, of wanting to do more when he knew he wasn’t able to, thus leaving him with nothing more to do than feeling incapable all on his own.

Gradually they grew more quiet, drowned out by the water but also because she must have calmed down a bit, probably soothed by the carefully controlled warmth that drove her into rest. There were no updates even when the water was turned off, and for the several minutes it took Jeno could only hope it was because his host was taking his time with dressing her again. Thinking and eating were the only things he could do at this time despite waiting, eyes mindlessly tracing around the neatly arranged kitchen, no thing out of place, and when he had taken in all the lack of memoria - so different to his own fridge plastered full with pictures of Luda and Jaemin and his troop from his service - he turned his head to look at the living room visible through the separating sliding doors.

A clean space, one he was vaguely familiar with thanks to the generous balcony doors, the pale yellow walls and modern cut white furniture, mostly filled with books and decorated with colorful pastel paintings. It was nice, simple but welcoming, but it gave away more about the owner than one might think. A bright person, a bit playful, warm character, if not a bit romantic because people who loved to flee reality by indulging stories ever so often were. Jaemin was just the same, often underestimated for his bright character but the books he read and thoughts he kept, they had pulled Jeno in since their childhood, they kept the overly exaggerated characteristics at bay. Just for himself he wondered whether his host would have the same.

Speaking of the devil, the other’s voice called silently, “Hey, Jeno,” which was followed by quiet until the addressed male had turned his head enough so they could lock gazes across the hall, “I think I know why she’s been so unruly today…”

Like a magic spell, those words were enough to have the dark haired clamber out of his seat and walk over, mindful of his host raising his pointer fingers to the lips, signing him to be quiet. In the bathroom, Luda was laying on a changing mat atop the washing machine, looking almost drowsy, and now it made sense for Jeno too. Her tummy was discolored, little red welts that most definitely hadn’t been there in the morning when he had dressed her then. 

“Nettle rash,” the blonde explained as he reached into a cabinet, pulling out a tube of soothing salve to apply to her swollen skin, gentle as he could be albeit it still made her hiccup in discomfort. “Her skin must be sensitive to a certain fabric or something. It might take some time for you to figure out what it is exactly so just keep an eye on her as good as you can.”

A heavy sigh of relief escaped the dark haired man’s lips, hands coming down on the sink as he let his head fall down. “Oh, thank goodness…” The rash explained why she had been so whiny, with something always scratching along sensitive skin which was so much worse for an infant who had no explanation for themselves, but it reassured him it was no worse than that. 

Nimble fingers came down on his shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into his skin. “Babies are a lot less fragile than we think,” the blond said gently, a short moment because Luda was still naked and needed to be dressed, in different clothes this time, spare set from what must be the other’s own collection. A faded orange romper, it looked cute on her, was a bit too big almost but it might be better for her irritated skin. 

Carefully picking her up, trying not to startle her too much, lest she gets roused from her daze, the home owner set way for the living room first, settling her down in a ruffled blanket so she would be cozy and warm. “You should go to the doc’s with her tomorrow for proper medication, I think.” Thoughtful eyes that redirected from the infant to the parent to offer, “You want a drink? While she is still asleep?”

“No. But - thank you, …?” Jeno denied with a questioning lilt, realized only now he did not even know his savior’s name, only whose surname. An embarrassing enough realization when he had been fed and aided just now without any second questioning.

“Renjun. Huang Renjun,” the blond answered with a smile, fingers reaching out to brush through Luda’s scarce hair. “She’s a cute one. Got good lungs too.” Perhaps an unusual compliment and yet it had Jeno preening - any compliment towards her had him brightening up, because as a parent he was simply jumping at any opportunity to be proud of her and showing her off.

“Thank you!” The father called out in bliss, eyes crinkling and lips stretched wider than they had been all day long. “Can I repay the favor maybe? I’m not really that good a cook but I could order in for us and-”

“Sure. I’d like that, yes.”

His mother was positively infatuated with Renjun, as much Jeno could tell by the time the end of dinner rolled around and he was busy clearing the table. Luda was on his boyfriend’s lap who so tenderly cleaned her face and tiny hands, a surprisingly clean eater for her humble age. More than half a year now, that was the time she had spent with him, lived with him, been raised by him. Soon she would have been with him for a longer time than with his parents, and while Luda might not be aware of consciously, Jeno could see the shift in silent signs, in the way she was looking at him after she had dropped her food and no longer at his mother like in the beginning, or made grabby hands at him for affection regardless of his father being closer.

Blissful pride warmed his heart whenever a situation like that occured, a feeling better even than the moment he had realized Renjun was accepted into their little bond. When Luda turned her head to look at him again, finding him in the kitchen finally, Jeno stuck her tongue out at her, prompting her to giggle brightly and his boyfriend to pout for being neglected like this.

“Jeno, dear, I’ve made some dessert. Can you make some tea for it?” His mother asked softly, not even bothering to turn around while asking when she might as well lean onto the table and watch the author. 

“So when did you realize you are in love, darling?” His mother asked with her eyes sparkling bright, the careful enthusiasm in her voice that left no wonder to the fact she loved to be taken out to romance movies by Jaemin, have a girls night out so to say, regardless of them not sharing the same gender. They simply thrived on that kind of evening being spent and hours of gossip enjoyed together. 

Across the table and past the dining area, Renjun’s eyes found Jeno, gaze so intense the latter couldn’t help notice it, attention drawn that way, halting his process of preparing their big can of tea, sufficient for four. “The first time I saw him out on his balcony,” the Chinese confessed, not ashamed nor shy, forward and direct in the ways he always was, and then his expression changed, turned more mirthful at the opportunity to spill more secrets. “You know our balconies, Ma Lee. And Jeno always sat in a way he can enjoy the morning sun but at the same angle, he could look into my apartment… So when I saw him sitting there,” Renjun paused for a second, smiling in this unexpectedly shy way that came along with honesty towards his own feelings, but it didn’t deter him, eyes focused as he looked at the older woman still, “I think I fell during that first time. He looked really handsome that day, and I’ve been intrigued since then. But then I saw him with a kid so I just thought…”

Jeno’s father laughed out at that, turning in his chair to be able to look at his son in the kitchen. “You’ve always been oblivious like that, son. Remember when you told us you aren’t popular in school but then you came home with a box full of chocolate on Valentine’s? Should’ve just hit on Renjun as soon as you could, you fool.”

“I didn’t think he’d-” Jeno tried to explain, finding himself lacking the words the pink haired could always so easily procur. “Dad! He’s just way out of my league. And it’s not like I can just assume his sexuality…”

“Darling-” His mother tried with empathy, must be aware of how much harder it must be for people of different sexualities, but before she could start her speech, Renjun thankfully interrupted, “He actually did make the first move. Since he asked me out first.” And then, with a softer smile added shortly, “Twice.”

Jeno felt his expression soften at that, so lost in the Chinese beauty, rosy lips and sparkling eyes, his hand flinched at the startling noise of the electric kettle finishing its work. A reminder he still had some tasks to fulfill, and accomplish them he did quickly, hot water in the can and sweet stuffed rice cakes plated carefully, and all of it was set up on the table quickly. He didn’t miss out on Renjun’s amused smile at seeing the sweet treats, could imagine all too well what the older was thinking, recalling the day of baking cake together for the first time. Kissing for the first time, and growing closer than they had before. Thoughts that weren’t said out loud as Jeno just dipped his head down, smiling into his empty cup. 

“To be young and in love… Those were times,” his father sighed in playfully exaggerated fashion, teasing as ever, an easy-going man. Someone Renjun would be comfortable with, as much Jeno knew, and it reassured him to know it was one more step accomplished on their shared path. 

“Hey, boss,” Johnny started, the name he liked to call Jeno by teasingly rolling off his tongue, and while it wasn’t an incorrect term, it always made the younger a big squeezy. Which currently translated to how the chain slipped out of his hands despite so carefully having put it into place on the ring originally. It didn’t deter the older who leaned onto the movable workstation, small cupboard on wheels which they could easily drag around the service area to wherever need be. “I’ll take my break now. Want anything from the coffeeshop too?”

Jeno looked up for a moment, the gap in height which was normally an admirable one between them now further emphasized from how he was sitting on the ground. It wasn’t the normal position for this, Jaehyun liked to work in standing and Johnny prefered a swivel chair without backrest, they all had their preferences for this. But after standing behind the counter and chasing after a toddler during the other phases of his day, he was grateful for this kind of relief. “Can you bring me some chocolate bread? But no need for a drink,” he requested finally, eyes crinkling as he smiled at the older.

Without Johnny and Jaehyun helping him out, he wasn’t too sure he would have the shop running as smoothly still. Despite the two having worked at the store way longer than him - considering he had taken over about half a year ago, from non-employment to management within a few days, it was a drastic change, and he wouldn’t have scorned them for taking it the bad way, for having their promotion snatched right from their hands, and all for familial strings being pulled. Instead, his uncle must have explained his situation to them, and they were too king to not be understanding, not driven by a need to succeed, this was a student job for them, and parts of Jeno envied them. He hadn’t had the chance to go to university against his better plans, and yet it all faded his mind, every day he went to pick up Luda after work, he still considered it worth it because he had her.

“Sure, boss,” Johnny agreed readily, expression bright and from the resounding steps, Jeno anticipated the older to have left. Hence he focused on work again, carefully wrapping the chain from the ring to the cassette and then the derailleur pulley to fix it together again, a meticulous enough work that would be easier if not for the water bottle suddenly occupying his field of vision. It startled him, not enough to lose the chain and pin but he still flinched backwards slightly, tilted his head upwards until he was met with Johnny’s mischievously glinting eyes. “You have a visitor, boss.”

For a second there, the younger perked up - there was only ever one person the other two would describe as such, and the idea of Renjun visiting him always brightened his days. It was understandable enough, the way his eyes sparkled, how he couldn’t hold back his excitement to the point he felt the corners of his mouth cramp up from joy. Johnny only laughed as he left, leaving him and his guest behind in the shop, and Jeno’s face fell about the same time the door’s bell rang. An accusatory finger, pointed at his expression, was enough to suck the happiness out of his self, like an empty shell filled with dread instead of delight, because the person in front of him was not who he had thought to be.

“I knew it! You were hiding someone from me!” Donghyuck exclaimed loudly, incriminating and gleeful, and entirely not what Jeno had expecting, and it wasn’t the gloating outburst that startled him most, it was the way the younger had phrased it - someone , not some thing . An accusation that had the heat rush up his neck as he stared at his business neighbor, the curious gaze he wished to evade and could not regardless, for looking away would come equal to admitting his secret, confession that he had, indeed, hid someone from his friend’s analytical eyes. “Since when did you date him, hm? That pretty boy of yours?”

No question of whether he was dating, it was a confirmed fact that they were, the mysterious pretty boy whose name he had never mentioned around Donghyuck and him, and all owed to the fact that the florist was cunningly good at this, awfully prolific in his gathering of information. A little pill at his worst, a wonderful listener at his best, the tan male had made quick work of establishing a relationship despite their short time spent together, had come in with the brightest of grins during Jeno’s first day, had bit by bit gotten all the information out of the older until he felt like a bag empty of secrets, and at the same steady rate it seemed those inside knowledge was used against him all the same.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Jeno tried to avoid the interrogation, didn’t want to elucidate nor outline and most especially not to Donghyuck who would prod more and more, dig his finger into the heart shaped bruise adorning the mechanic’s chest. Already now, it was too easy to tell, the fact that there was more than a plain obvious agenda, a hidden meaning, and Jeno feared that more than all the teasing meant to ensue. As emphasis of his faux disinterest, he tried to focus on work again, the chain already fixed and tight only missed some lubricant oil, the same he now spread along the metal with a dirtied rag, held with his left as he pedaled with his right.

“You know what hurts me more than you not having told me? That you never came to buy flowers from me to court your boy!” 

And there it was, the reason that had Jeno exhale air as drawn out sigh, heavy from the burden that came with the same words thrown at him, words he had sort of anticipated because even before, whenever he had come over during his break, when they had sat outside on those pretty white iron chairs in front of the flower shop, surrounding by flourishing blossoms, Donghyuck had offered him a  discount for the same. Bouquets to wow his pretty boy, beautiful flowers to woo a beautiful man, and Jeno had promised to come by the day he planned on asking Renjun out. He never did, though, and now he had a tingling sensation of fear of losing his pinky for the swear he had not upheld.

Jeno had barely so managed to park his car when already the backdoor was ripped open by the same person he had needed to evade running over a second ago, overzealous cousin in love with little Luda, Taeyong hadn’t been able to hold himself back ever. There was no way to measure how much Jeno would have given to see the older in the hospital on the day of her birth, the adoration in his cousin’s eyes when seeing the newborn baby. Alas, there had been no way for him to do so, not when he had been at the military camp with no excuse to go home because he was no father-to-be to use the same as a reason for a leave.

Luda screamed in joy as she was taken out of her car seat, little chubby fingers greedy as they clung to Taeyong’s shirt, clawing into the fabric as if it were so important, and the bubbling laughter coming from her tiny mouth was the cutest sound to warm his heart. His cousin must feel similarly, eyes wide and sparkling, taking in the sight of his 2nd degree niece as if she was the very baby to have hung the stars in the night sky and put the blood in his veins.

“Where is my little princess, where is she?” The actual adult cooed in a voice not the least befitting such handsome visage, and to Jeno, who had looked up to the veterinarian for always being on time and succeeding with superior grades and so easily getting accepted into a joint practice, Taeyong had always been an adult . He somehow saw that facade broken as he looked at his cousin now, looking more like a small boy with his favorite flavor of ice cream presented to him. “You’ll have fun with uncle Yongie today, right? Have so much fun, yes?”

Blocking out the chirpy tone, Jeno moved around the car to get the baby bag from the other side, an investment he didn’t at all regret, packed with a changing pad and diapers, some food and her favorite toys, a few books and the stuffed teddy she got from her mom which was poking out at the side, and some more necessities. It was useful at times like these, now that Renjun had helped him put it together, contrary to before when he had rushed through his apartment to throw everything together quickly. “I’ll come pick her up in the-” Jeno started but got stopped by Taeyong’s thoughtful expression, eyes directed at the bag, at the teddy, and the younger made a little noise. “Oh…”

“Is that…?” His cousin asked, wonder in his tone, and the implication was clear for him who knew about it. A story he had been told before, about the time he himself had still been a toddler, when he had received a stuffed fox to cuddle with and his sister had thrown a temper tantrum and Taeyong, always glued to her side, their continuous jokes of wanting someone like the other for a partner for life, had sued one for her unders his mother’s watchful eyes. The lining itself had been sturdy, courtesy of her occupation as seamstress, but the additions he had made had been clumsy, the overly exaggerated stitching along the seams because the small boy had taken an interest in surgeries already back then, the heart which was messily sewn onto the wrong side of the chest, the inner part of the ears which was made of blue fabric with lightning bolt design which didn’t fit the classic design at all, and the bowtie that had always hung crooked. Taeyong knew it so well because it was his in a way.

The dark haired nodded shortly, passing the older a stilted smile as he carefully handed the bag over to the man holding his toddler. “She’s always kept it,” he finally answered as he leaned in to press a kiss onto Luda’s clothed head, the beanie he had pulled down to cover her ears to fight off the early spring chill, “Was the only thing she kept safe even when she wrecked her whole room.” He tried to smile, Jeno really did, but it must have looked as pitiful as it felt for Taeyong’s hand rubbed soothingly into his cheek.

“You’ll stop by in the evening?” His older cousin offered him an out, and Jeno hummed in agreement. “Make sure to bring your date in for a cup of tea later. I’d love to meet him.” Another gentle pat to the cheek and both arms returned to holding the toddler, making sure she was kept well within Taeyong’s hold who made his way back into the apartment building, to shield the infant from the cold and for Jeno to go on to his merry ways. 

Which he had to, ultimately, as he waved after the child carried away from him and spotted his own watch, curse slipping his lips because he was tight on time now. With what little time he had left, making a coffee run might toe the lines of tardiness and yet, knowing it was Saturday, knowing Renjun had needed to stop by the publishing firm anyways to pick up his final edit and must be tired, it was one thing Jeno didn’t want to skip out on. Not when he had heard his neighbor’s door fall shut by the time he had barely so woken up, Luda sleeping soundfully in the crib next to his bed, and his chest had ached with empathy. So driving down the streets with five kilometers per hour above the stretched limit, bombarding the lady at his date’s favorite coffeeshop with the order, and halting with screeching tires, he ended up with two minutes behind their agreed upon meeting time. Not his proudest moment, he hoped no officer had caught him to earn him a ticket, and it all seemed worth it when a sleepily smiling Renjun moved into his car. Did he mention he wasn’t even certain this qualified as proper date? Since they had never called it such?
“You look stressed,” the older pointed out, nimble fingers caressing through Jeno’s hair to brush some strands back, tucking them behind his ear as if they didn’t fall forward right the same second again. “I’ve never seen someone look stressed for shopping.”

It would be too embarrassing to admit that he hadn’t wanted to disappoint Renjun by being late, so he deferred instead, gestured at the middle console, steaming coffee and tea with the little clouds streaming out through the small hole in the lid, the muffin that radiated warmth against his hand as he shifted gears. “Just take a break until we arrive,” Jeno offered, scrolling through his recent hits on the navigation as he stopped at a red light. The ride wouldn’t be too long, not if they took the freeway, so he didn’t anticipate the other to talk to him, actually considered Renjun might have had enough of that after meeting his editor, middle-aged stern man if the stories were on point, but he still did, talked about all the many things he must not be allowed to reveal when the story wasn’t yet in print. Shameless, sometimes the off-work Renjun was outright shameless, and Jeno couldn’t say he didn’t like it.

Most certainly it made their drive more interesting, seem shorter than it was, people cutting lanes no longer aggravating him when he had Renjun next to him, soothing touches and tender words, fingers wrapping around his wrist, rubbing little circles into his pulse as if the massage would echo up to his heart. A task achieved, albeit not transferred through the stream of blood, it was the mere proximity that got to his busy muscle, calmed it down into slow rhythms again. It ached, bittersweet squeezes, because he felt like falling but falling too fast, felt like he might lose his heart at Renjun’s expanse with nothing to halt his drop. A safety net shaped like the other’s open arms, kind words, acceptance of his heart, but they were barely a month in, on their way to whatever, missing official names and terms, no statements nor inquiries, and it felt comfortable as much as it had him squirming inside, not sure what pace to choose, how to go about this when he had been alone for so long.

Their arrival saved him, spared him the thoughts he himself was drowning in, muffin diminished but tea in hand, as Renjun so gracefully stepped out of the car. However someone managed to do the same despite their tired state, despite himself feeling so sluggish, remained a mystery to him. Deep inhale, he heard it echo throughout the inside of his car as he pulled out the keys, followed the other’s example a moment later as he, too, got out, greeted by a wall of fresh air, smelling green, like nature, green in his lungs and bright in his mind. It woke him up, not as much as the coffee he had barely drunk from but sufficiently nonetheless. 

Stretching his hands up as he rounded the hood, he could feel Renjun’s eyes on him, barely there sliver of exposed skin on his stomach, eyes trailing along, staring at him with mischief and dark glints. “‘m not used to sit in tight spaces,” he tried to explain, even when he got nothing but an amused grin in return, a hand held out, little invitation he accepted only after having locked his car. Hand in hand, drinks between fingers, and he let the Chinese lead the way, down the short stone tiled path, interspersed by little green, neatly trimmed, but a mere interlude for what was yet to come.

Wooden building, pillars interspersed by glass, flooded by bright light hitting green and colors he could glimpse at from the outside barely, through the fence that was wrapped around the gardens, the framing marquees replacing greenhouses, to grow more plants inside than could be spotted from out. Those that wouldn’t grow well in their current weather but were needed all the time, for flower shops like Donghyuck’s, or simple fans at home. The two of them most definitely belonged to the latter, were looking for little plants to decorate Renjun’s home, and one word from the older had been enough to have Jeno jump at the chance, offering to drive the carless author there, an exchange ticket for all the stress he must have caused. Or simply an opportunity for more time, spent together, along, made him feel like a couple in dire need of a honeymoon round two, ironic thoughts, they knew each other for handful weeks only.

“Is there a reason you chose one so far out?” Jeno ended up asking just as they passed the self-automated sliding door, greeted by warm and humid air, not stale as it sometimes could be in wilderness, it was well circulated, kept such way intentionally, and now he felt glad he hadn’t put on a proper coat, wouldn’t have been able to bear with one on his body while walking through the store. 

Renjun hummed lowly, curious eyes darting around as he took in the sight, the many flowers surrounding them, put on shelves and stacked tables, small to medium sized pots, emerald leaves and colorful blossoms, drenching the air with their scent, moist soil and tender manure, flowery perfume that filled Jeno’s lungs. Subconsciously he moved closer to his companion, to drown out overbearing nature with subtle vanilla, the citric scent of orange darjeeling mixing with cinnamon latte from his own cup. Less distance, the soothing voice echoed through his ears when Renjun spoke up, “Auntie at my favorite flower shop told me she can’t sort through that many plants anymore. But she told me where she got them so” - letting go of Jeno’s hands, the writer did a turn, arms spread wide, and ended with a little tumble, facing the taller again - “here we are!”

It was cute - Renjun was cute, but Jeno had no deathwish to say so out loud. “And why not cut flowers?” He asked, innocently as he looked after the older who studied the signs, carefully making his way around the plant nursery section by section, steps interwoven by their words.

“I don’t like plant cruelty. Why would I kill plants without reason?” The fire was promptly returned, eyebrows lightly furrowed, whether it was the focus Renjun put on analyzing a few different vampire plants - and that was based on the sign nailed into the shelf, the many green plants with red stems, little veins contrasting the contrary colored leaves - or the incredulity of Jeno’s remark. “You don’t just cut off Jaemin’s arm because you want to hold hands either…”

Such image, disgusting as it sounded, had the younger grimacing, simply accepted the little plastic pot he was handed to put in the basket. “You eat meat,” he still pointed out because, looking at it logically, there was no reason to do the same either, there were other options as he had been so carefully lectured about after Jaemin had worked a case involving a foreigner. It wasn’t for him, such way of living, but he had cut down his habits regardless, if only to bring solace to his suddenly aware conscience. 

At that, Renjun shot him a pointed look, like a teacher at a child talking about aliens when asking about grammar, and his voice couldn’t be any more condescending either, “Because I like it.” And it should count as reason, surely must for the Chinese, logic Jeno did not dare to question neither knew how to, would lose this discussion he hadn’t entered with full intent, so he just smiled, he smiled and thought to himself, and I like you .

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Jeno declared once again, and now that he had fixed the chain he checked for all the surrounding parts again, put his strength into it as he pushed down onto them to make sure they wouldn’t come off just because of his undoing every screw to replace them one by one. The bike itself was a pretty one, an older model with less functions than many of the modern ones, and he had been glad the owner hadn’t insisted on him to use original parts which would have made the restoration process a lot more complex. But his regular who had brought it in had said it to be for their mother, an elder lady on the countryside, doing most of her moving around with the bike because walking would take so long, and she would need it back soon.

Earlier that day, when he had received it, it had warmed his heart to know there were people like that, so caring about one another, aware of their familial duties. The same cozy heat which was frozen over under Donghyuck’s judging gaze, slim eyes and a piece of paper thrown at the mechanic’s head. “I can’t believe you dare lie to me. Me! After I’ve listened to your pining for half a year now!”

Accusation making him grimace, Jeno halted once he had checked everything a second time, ready for a third trial by Johnny later, and leaned his weight back onto his arms so he could look up at Donghyuck on the other side. “He’s allergic to pollen,” he finally declared, well aware it might be the only eligible excuse his neighbor would accept, because, in the florist’s world, there was no reason to not buy flowers for a beloved one ever. Even if only a singular rose to exemplify one’s love, there was no possible negative. 

“I have flowers that won’t arouse allergic reactions,” Donghyuck huffed, arms crossed in defiance. There was a subtle flush dusted onto the younger’s soft cheeks, the same shade as some of the flowers he held in his shop, useless stubbornness that had Jeno drop his head back in frustration. A subtle groan escaped him, and the other didn’t miss out on it, leaned forward on his lower arms, supported on his knees, and still so demandingly entwined. “What are you so afraid of, Jeno?”

Crinkling his nose, the mechanic inhaled deeply, letting the air out as a sigh. For another moment he thought back, the accumulated hours the younger had coaxed information about Renjun out of him, during little breaks, shared coffee runs, whenever Donghyuck had helped him with accounting when his cousin had no time to. “He doesn’t like them,” he mumbled quietly, barely audible, but the pressure deflated, no longer weighed down on his chest, so he repeated louder, “He doesn’t like them. He only likes succulents and potted flowers and-”

Instead of a pillow, a raging flashback behind his closed eyes, he was met with crumpled up paper thrown at his face. Despite the upside-down bicycle between them, it was a full score, three-pointer, and Jeno barely so could hold himself back from returning the hit by recalling he had only a screwdriver and heavy tools within reach, a rather uncomfortable response to such measly initiation.

“Are you stupid or something?” Another ball, another hit, physical and verbal alike, “You think I wouldn’t order those for you?”

“You love making bouque-”

One more ball, finally flying past Jeno’s head instead of having been aimed spot on, a mystery because the victim couldn’t even tell where they had been conjured up from, “And I love to see you finding happiness more, you idiot.” 

When something else hit his head, this time from the back, the dark haired really felt like yelling, until he spotted the pale red packaging, thankfully empty or he would have. A full one, warm against his thigh, was dropped into his lap. “You getting bullied, boss? Should we call the pest controller?” Johnny laughed, intercepting the mood but contrary to his words, another paper bag was handed over to their guest, and there was nothing worse than those ganging up on anyone. 

Jeno had heard horror story of those incidents, enough to frighten him into immediate submission, gruesome details of teasing torture portrayed by Jaehyun’s dry words. Conceding at once, he raised his both arms into the air and got up, snatching his snack before it could fall. “Alright, alright. I promise I’ll order some succulents from you the next time, and I’ll also ask him to stop by with Luda later so you get to meet him, and then you can embarrass me all you want. But can you fucking stop throwing paper balls at me?”

In retrospect, there really was no reason to ever trust either of those two, unless coffee and bikes or flowers and gossip were involved respectfully. Because another missile was thrown his way, working like an exorcism as he quickly dodged out of the way and retreated to his office so he could dig his own shape. Through the open door, he could hear and see Donghyuck cheer in victory, and Johnny text on his phone, likely to get Jaehyun involved in all of this. At least the last was someone he held faith in, if merely for the fact Jaehyun was shameless infatuated with his infant too. 

“I’m nervous,” Jeno had confessed to Renjun an hour ago, when they had loaded the car with the baby bag and the basket, the heavy things lugged around by him while his smaller boyfriend had earned the benefit of carrying Luda around. They didn’t use a buggy, contrary the popular opinion, because Jeno was too used to feel her weight in his arms, and now that he had someone to help him out, everyday tasks like grocery shopping had become easier too. He carried, Renjun held. 

Now, though, as he spread their blanket foiled side down on the lawn and took Luda back into his arms, he couldn’t think of it anymore. Allowing the older to pull out some food and the lukewarm tea for the little girl, he was too focused on keeping his hands at her side to steady her little walk to think of anything else. She had become better at that recently, at bridging short distances without crawling, but he knew better than to let her out of his sight, especially when she just fell down on her butt, no longer cushioned by diapers to lessen the impact, he almost had a heart attack. Instead of a short cry, she only released bubbling laughter and held her hands out to receive the thermos lid that also served as a cup to gulp down some of the tea. 

Knowing she was sitting and in good hands - Renjun’s - Jeno took over again, pulled out the airy but soft blanket bed they have for her for these days, when they take her along somewhere, an option that suits him better than a handheld carrier. She’s an active child, still small but full of energy, he has seen her climb the couch and slide down it once too often to still want to take a risk with that. He’d much rather she has her little space to sit and sleep, angled between her baby bag and the picnic basket, where nothing bad should happen in the worst case either. 

So focused on that, he entirely missed out on his boyfriend’s focus going elsewhere minutely, and almost missed on his words too, “I think they’re here…” A funny expression adorned the older’s face at that, not exactly the kind of face one would expect from someone who had spotted their best friend, and it brightened a moment later as Renjun waved his hand in the air and yelled, “Lucas! Here!”

“Yah!” Came the prompt reply, followed by curses in Chinese which Jeno only recognized at such because Johnny had a habit of doing the same, of cursing in Chinese, claiming it wouldn’t drive their customers away as quickly if they couldn’t understand. The bright face on his co-worker when doing so usually didn’t help recognizing the words as such either. “You invited me! Me! Not him! He’s just here because I had pity and-”

The blond guy stopped rattling down words by the time the taller of the newcomers had latched his arms around Renjun’s waist and pulled him up in one go, hurling him the opposite way before letting go, letting the smaller stumble through the grass of his own. It had Jeno reeling, trying to suppress a spark of jealousy because someone else touched his boyfriend with such ease, especially when it was someone he didn’t know, and Luda’s short yell didn’t help, eyes wide and wet because she had been startled too suddenly, not to mention how badly this could’ve ended were Renjun not in such good control of his own limbs.

Quickly reaching for her to pull her in his lap, Jeno disregarded the two strangers for a moment to check for the girl’s wellbeing instead, rubbed little circles into her cheeks with his thumbs and pressed a kiss to her head, an action always succeeding in helping her calm down, excited breath calming down a bit and even more when another pair of lips came down on the back of her head, touch making her turn her head and when she spotted Renjun again, she already held out her chubby little hands to get picked up by him instead. Silent conversation, a simple gaze asking for permission, and the older picked her up to cage her in his arms, letting her tug at his faded pink hair as she made butchered little sounds, a well sign she might attempt saying words soon, too.

But without her in his arms, he no longer had an excuse not to greet the two men, the taller one looking embarrassed by his own deeds and muttering an apology the second Jeno looked at him, whereas the blond just looked at Luda with mild horror. It was the same look one of his classmates had given her before, when they had had a run-in at the grocery store, entirely shocked at the idea of Jeno having a child, panicking because it meant a huge leap forward in the planning of life, and as unexpected as the encounter had been as quick had the guy’s disappearance taken place, hurrying down the aisles with whatever excuse. Jeno hadn’t been able to blame him, he had reacted similarly at first.

Taken a light exhale, trying to be the bigger person, the dark haired closed his eyes for a second and as he opened them again, he had made up his resolve, offering his hand to them. “Lee Jeno. It’s- my pleasure,” he finished after a little hesitation, because he wasn’t certain yet whether it actually was his pleasure, not with how boisterous these two seemed to be able to be.

“Liu Yangyang,” the blond offered fist, grabbing Jeno’s held out hand first, shaking it firmly, tight grip, and it would usually leave a better impression with the latter. Usually, but not today.

Before he could protest, his hand was passed on smoothly, over to the taller one, smiling brightly and enthusiastic while declaring, “Wong Yukhei. Your daughter is really cute! She’s so sweet. But the yellow was Renjun’s idea, right? I mean, Little Huang loves yellow so it doesn’t surprise me.”

There it was again, the slightest feeling of discomfort at intimate words coming from a person so close to his boyfriend, a person he wasn’t familiar with despite their evident proximity, and he knew it was stupid to feel that way. If there ever were anything, Renjun would have told him, and in cases like these he liked to trust Renjun more than his own unreasonable emotions, the faith he had in relationships outweighing his own clouded thoughts. So he just took a short breath before he gestured at the space besides their blanket, unoccupied, for them to take. Because that was what they had come here for, now that the weather was still nice and spending time inside seemed as superfluous as being possessive over someone he wouldn’t need to share.

The scent of flowers was soothing in his nose, borne both from the flowers standing by his side in a beautiful white iron frame shelf, metal curved into little whirls that looked outright artistic, and from the steaming tea in his hands, the one Haechan liked to make on his own, whenever flowers weren’t purchased in due time but very well edible, they ended up being hung up in the office where it wasn’t as moist, left to dry while sharing their soothing scent. This current one was nice, red clover, rose and daylily - pure red , as Donghyuck had so lovingly named it, albeit Jeno was suspecting he served as guinea pig more often than not, for whatever new kind his neighbor was procuring. It backfired sometimes, he didn’t feel nearly as comfortable as his colleagues did about giving feedback of the unwelcome sort. 

This one, though, really was nice, so he didn’t hesitate to pour himself another cup of, red shining prettily through the double layered glass. Naming it such made more sense when seeing the color, sparkling underneath the day’s light, looking beautiful and mesmerizing alike. Creativity was something he admired in other people, it was something he saw in Donghyuck too, despite all snark and bite, there was an inherent level-headedness too, along with dedication, or he wouldn’t be running this flower almost entirely on his own. Jeno was glad, relieved to have someone his age who could still help him out whenever need be.

Only his phone calls were not something he wanted the younger to accept, so when the device started to vibrate on the table top, he was quick to snatch it before the honey haired could try to peek at it on his own. Accepting the call without look, he just held it to his phone and asked, “Hello?”

“Jeno! Jeno, you won’t believe what’s happened!” An almost hysteric Jaemin squeaked into his own phone, pitched enough to make Luda cry out in protest in the background which - weird. Because she wasn’t supposed to be with Jaemin today. “So I went to pick up Luda as we discussed, right? But when I got there” - and, oh, Jeno started to have a bad feeling about this, guts soon proven right as his good mood dropped through a hole in the floor at the following words - “there was a strange man with Luda in his arms! I mean, who in our age has neon pink hair? Does he think he’s an idol or something? Well, anyways, I had to arrest the guy under suspicion of child kidnapping but he said you’re his emergency contact which - unbelievable! He refuses to call a lawyer and insists I call you so you have to come here, Jeno-yah! You have to pass your statement as a witness that you don’t know this weirdo at all!”

“Ya-” Someone yelled in the background, cluttering resounding, and Jeno would bet one meal voucher that it had been Renjun jumping up from his seat at the insinuation and accusation. Jaemin, in all his worries and reasons, could be shameless off-duty. 

“That guy could’ve been a pedoph-” There was more cluttering, and the call cut off without Jeno even knowing where he had to go now. Just thinking of it, the situation was already giving him a headache, one he hoped to swallow down with his tea but, alas.

When he looked up from his mug and caught sight of his mini-tea time host, he was greeted by wiggling eyebrows and teasing glints. “Lover boy? Is he being needy now?” Donghyuck asked, grin wider than the Cheshire cat’s but equally as jovially bemused.

“I wish…” Jeno sighed and pocketed his phone whilst he got up, shooting a weary smile at the younger, “And here I thought the police will only call about Luda when she’s a teen…” The implication, vague as it was, especially with his own best friend being said police, left the other flabbergasted, yelling the stressed out male’s name repeatedly in hopes of getting more information on what exactly had happened. For that, the dark haired would have time later too, or the day after, but not if he wanted to prevent murder and lose his both most favored babysitters at once.

Getting on his bike, conveniently placed in the rack in front of his own shop, he moved to drive down the street swiftly, trying to find the way to the police station that was located somewhere between the daycare, work and home, with no sight of Jaemin’s car in sight. If it wasn’t here, it would be the station his best friend actually resided at, and just the thought of had him cursing out his best friend, the twenty minute ride tiring, all the more when he barely had enough empty space in his head to pay attention to traffic, dodging around cars and pedestrians to get there as fast as he could without running the risk of losing his driver’s license in return.

By the time he had arrived, he felt drenched with sweat, fingers unsteady as he locked his bike to the rack and headed inside. Dodging the middle-aged officer at the reception, he went to the open office area on his own, could spot the burst of pastel hair with ease, as if he weren’t already aware of where Jaemin’s desk was exactly. 

Despite two grown-ups sitting there, it was Luda who spotted him first, eyes widening before she broke into a smile, hands reaching out for him and before he had even greeted either of the two, he was already busy picking her off Jaemin’s lap to press her to his chest. Lips against her head for a kiss, her little body held securely in one arm, he moved his other to give his best friend a slap to the back of the head, was rewarded with a pained gasp. His head whipped to Renjun next, eyebrows furrowed and clearly displeased, but the sight of such rare beauty alone had the fight leaving his own body so he could only exhale a heavy sigh. Gesturing between the two, he introduced, “Renjun, this is my childhood friend Jaemin. Jaemin, this is my neighbor Renjun.”

He wanted to scold them, find out how the situation had even escalated like this, but at the same time he didn’t, because their thoughts must be complicated, interwoven and too tiring for him to bother with. Not to mention he was still on the clock, was supposed to supervise a store he had just left behind without further explanation, and he didn’t even want to know what Jaehyun must have thought to just see him racing off on his bike. Not the mention how dense the silence between the two was, weighing down the mood and giving him a headache. 

“Jaemin,” he called out without wanting to further think about it, waited until he had his best friend’s attention to declare, “Get your keys. You’ll load my bike in the trunk, then take me back to work, and while I watch Luda, you two are going to have a nice cup of coffee together or whatever. Your sour moods are bad for my girl.” His tone must have been more stern than it usually was, for neither of them protest, and he could only feel relief at the sight of Jaemin not even having started his PC to file a complaint, neither some papers to do so by hand. Behind all the panic he deserved to show as godparent, it was good to know his police instincts still worked, or Jeno would feel more inclined to actually be upset. 

In first place, shouldn’t Jaemin trust the aunties at the daycare too? If they had handed Luda over to someone else, it should have been because they knew that person, or because they had called him, they weren’t passing out babies to just anyone passing by. A detail he might need to emphasize around the younger later, during dinner, which, now that he thinks of it - “You better cook for me later, you idiot! As payment for that impromptu fitness test.”

“I’ll put asparagus into your meal,” the police threatened, and Jeno was tempted enough to chase after his friend if not for the toddler held against his chest. Nor the little tug at the hem of his shirt, fingers brushing against his hip bone, scalding despite the sturdy denim residing in between. 

Looking over, he was met with Renjun’s still furrowed brows, looking endearingly ruffled, and pensive gaze. Hesitation evident, it must have felt like climbing a wall to say what he did proclaim next, “I’m sorry for the trouble… I didn’t know someone else was supposed to pick him up today but he-” Sighing, the smaller made it look like a hard price to pay to swallow down frustrations, letting go of his upset feelings to make it easier for the troubled parent. “I could’ve handled this better…”

For another second, Jeno allowed the words to fade out before he permitted his own expression to soften, tender smile he liked to reserved for situations like this. “Nobody can stop Jaemin once he’s started. So thank you for handling this maturely, and looking out for her,” he replied, felt his reward being handed to him in the way the older man’s eyebrows were drawn outside again, countenance relaxing by the moment, until it seemed like the stress had fizzled out entirely.

Little bubble, an invisible room surrounding them, it was pierced and broken by a car honking, one he realized to be the bulky white Kia owned by Jaemin. A short glance, his bike was missing, loaded indeed, and Jeno tried his best to look reassuring as he made his way to the vehicle, leaving Renjun to the shark in humane form that was his best friend as he climbed into the back seat to get Luda fixed into her seat prior he, too, got to sit down. With only the front empty, and the parent’s order echoing, the Chinese was left with no option aside getting in at the front, to sit next to the police having arrested him for the fifteen minute drive and the several hours yet to come. 

Jeno felt a bit calmer by then, one hour, several snacks, and some cups of cooled tea later, even as he watched how Renjun treated his two friends like dogs, throwing them a frisbee but refusing to move to catch it on his own, it was a repetitive cycle of throwing and waiting for it to be delivered in turn. It was commendable that Lucas continued to go through with that, but a man that size and with such appetite certainly must have a lot of energy to use up. The sight had him, too, itching to get active, to maybe play with some of the guys at the basketball court nearby, but Renjun deserved this more, the breather and fresh air, for at least Jeno could release his pent up emotions by going to the gym, work it off in a sweat. Playing ball could wait for him, for when he didn’t need to watch the toddler sleeping on his chest.

“You’re not- oh,” Yangyang cut himself off at the sight of the parent being held back in such special way, and dropped down on the grass promptly, legs crossed, body cruelly blocking Jeno’s sight towards Renjun. Now he had to rely on sound instead, and that didn’t seem like an option either based on the expectant look the other was giving him. “Aren’t you too young to have a child?”

The one in question sighed, closed his eyes to ignore the fact it was the very question about each and every person ever had for him. He was aware it didn’t completely work out, considering his current age and that the infant on his chest was almost two years of age, but he had anticipated for Yangyang to know. Actually, he was quite certain the other knew, because Renjun must have confided in him, in his best friend, and by conclusion the latter’s roommate too. Rumors were fast, the moved from person to person, spread around, and just because Jeno did not know the people in his boyfriend’s social circles well, it did not equal that they did not know him better.

His silence must have said enough, the blond straightened his spine, a little boost of confidence that did not go unnoticed by the dark haired, leading up to Yangyang asking again, “Why are you raising a child that isn’t yours then?” An open secret, to those who dared ask more than superficial questions, queries that Renjun had felt too shy to ask for almost two weeks but it was no wonder that the same information had been forwarded as soon as there had been a chance to. Jeno only wished it wasn’t a question thrown his direction in quite this manner.

Coming up with an answer to a question that had him see red was tiring, so instead of looking at the other, he looked up to the sky, vibrant blue flat with fluffy clouds, a sight that had easily fascinated him when he had been a kid, he wished the same intrigue would warm his heart now too. “She’s family,” he finally relented, because here intrinsically was no better explanation than this, that family supported family, blood thicker than water, he felt responsible for supporting who needed it, and in return, the others had supported him, too. Or else he wouldn’t have a job sustaining them with such ease, wouldn’t have found an apartment so quickly, and on the requirement of support alone he had to consider Renjun as family by this point.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Yangyang picked up their red thread of conversation when, ironically, Jeno had already taken it the bad way, “But it’s hard to understand that reason when family means little to me. My own parents kicked me out the moment they figured I don’t condone their standards and wishes for me, and Renjun too, he moved to another country the first chance he had. So for you to raise her just because she’s family… I honestly don’t get it.”

Anger still simmered the slightest bit in Jeno’s guts, he still tried to be more empathetic when knowing the unfavorable history Yangyang had suffered. “I appreciate your honesty,” and he meant it, because while he didn’t agree with the specific words, he was in an easier position - his secrets had been spilled, information about him revealed, but none had done so for Yangyang, the circumstances of whose life hidden from Jeno’s perception. “But I think even you would go visit your parents the day they need you… Not even getting kicked out will cut all the strings connecting us to them…”

There had been a point he thought it might end up that way, within their family, but he thought differently now, so many years later. Not every path was smooth, not every fabric was whole, but holes could be stitched and sewed together, not perfectly evened out but nothing falling through either. With enough trust,  bit of faith, he was certain more things could be mended than people first considered. Or maybe he was just a romantic optimist, for that was what Jaemin liked to tell him too. 

There was silence, no response given by the other, and for that single moment Jeno didn’t mind, not for when he didn’t know what else to say either, not when the truths that were spoken between them that weighed too heavy for their age. Honest words he didn’t want to spell under normal circumstances, preferred people to be under the impression he had stupidly impregnated someone than bear any bad words towards his family, and whilst it didn’t mean he was entirely accepting of Yangyang’s statements, he counted it worth something. Because Yangyang was still here, had agreed to meet with them despite all else, and that bit was reassuring, at last. That their equal trust in Renjun was enough to sustain any possible future relationship between the two of them, between Yangyang and him. Not necessarily Lucas, but Jeno honestly thought he had not much of an opinion in that case either way, it was up for Renjun to decide on that, not him. Because, in equal parts as Renjun had been sort of required to accept his family despite all sorts of rocky starts, he wanted to give that same benefit to his boyfriend too. Well, at least he hadn’t been arrested so far. 

His sight was obstructed, one moment to another, not by Yangyang himself but the very man he had been thinking about, extension of his family, the one he trusted so much, washed out blond and beautiful face that had the dark haired smile as he welcomed the shameless kiss passed on to him despite being in such blatant public. There was a mirroring smile on Renjun’s face when pulling back, eyes curving softly, expression tender, and voice quite as he asked, “Had a nice bonding session without me?”
From the corner of his eyes he could see Lucas settle down as well, reaching for the tea Renjun had prepared earlier in the day, flushing down his thirst in a similar way the faintest hue of red was flushing his boyfriend’s cheeks. Beautiful color, right in front of his eyes, within his reach, and Jeno could do little more than smile. “Sure. We had.” He answered, and, in a way, they had, because at the very least they had spoken openly, laid even grounds which he didn’t regret, for sometimes the rocky paths were which they needed to take most. 

“You know that I love you, right?” He whispered, in hopes of his voice remaining faint enough, but when it procured nothing but Yangyang’s faux retching and, in turn, Luda waking and pulling at his shirt, Jeno had to reconsider whether he had been as sneaky as he had thought to be. He still had half a mind to smile at Renjun for another second before he sat up, arms carefully wrapped around her lithe body for support, lenient to pay attention to whatever she would need at this moment because this was what he was supposed to do, be it to Yangyang’s disfavor or Renjun’s preference, he was in charge of her, had to take care of her, and he was more than willing to do so since she was still family. His family, whether it was based on direct heritage or not, she was the girl he was raising and he wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

“I know,” Renjun promised, words that seemed like little but meant so much, a rare admission that spoke a lot more to Jeno with all his detriments, with a daughter in his arms and little titles in his backgrounds, a working man with no back-up, it meant a lot more to him than it might to many others. And he was content with it, with knowing even just Renjun guarding his back, regardless of how many more were paving the way for him, because, just for himself, he liked to consider the here and now to be more important than any future plans.

Risking the gagging of Renjun’s friends, the attention it might draw upon them, he tilted his read towards his boyfriend and proclaimed again, “I really do love you.” And to him, at this very moment, on this sunny late summer day, the older’s smile meant more than anything on this ever turning planet ever could.

Autumn was starting to come down on them, and for a change, Jeno was glad the clouds had parted again. Still not the ideal weather, this howling wind and shy sun were a dozen times better than the rain that had lasted them all over the weekend. The following months might be more tiring, not being able to go out with Luda as much, he would need to find new things to keep her busy even when stuck inside. Before, it wouldn’t have bothered him as much, when he had been in high school and has used these colder days to study or play games with his friends online, but it wasn’t the same now, when he had to be attentive for her needs almost all the time. 

The change in weather reminded him of another matter, and stopping at a red light, he was quick to pull out his phone at the same time as he jumped off his bike, not about to risk typing while driving when he might as well walk the last bit. Clicking through his apps felt more tiring with his fingers frozen off, though, he couldn’t help smiling seeing that Renjun must have had similar feelings for he was greeted by a picture of his boyfriend cheerfully posing with dinner ingredients, answering one of his daily questions at least. Looks good , he’s quick to write in return, awaits the moment he can see the status change on his own message before he adds, meant the food .

He didn’t even need to be there to know that the older was likely pouting now, so clearly turned down in his attempt of fishing for compliments, but teasing his boyfriend was entirely too much fun for Jeno to miss out on the chance to. A reply didn’t come immediately, gaze darting between the pedestrian walk and his screen, he noticed Renjun going offline and coming back online again, and he almost had arrived at the daycare when he felt the short vibration of an incoming message in his clammy hand.

Get your own food then. You’re officially out-vited. His screen read, followed by a few agitated and sulky animated stickers. It was cute to Jeno, this playful side of his boyfriend he got to experience ever so often, Renjun’s shameless taking advantage of his own charms that was reserved for their little domestic life.

Luda will dine with me then, he texted back, slowed down by writing with one hand only, fingers slowed down thanks to the outside chill affecting his movements. It was to be anticipated, the quick yielding from Renjun’s side, and Jeno couldn’t be upset about it. As much as he was certain of their reciprocated feelings, he was equally aware of their neverending affection for the little girl that was so perfectly enanomoring. Years later, he considered it to be a funny event, once they’d have to explain to her that the only reason they had gotten together in first place was her unstoppable crying that one night. Imagining the Chinese at his side then too was easy, a fantasy that wouldn’t be complete without the three of them together, leading the family life he might have never had were circumstances different.

His original query was at the back of his mind still, one he pushed back to once he had his hands free, bike leaning against the front gates of the daycare yard, allowing him to be faster as he typed out, We’ll need to take her shopping for warmer clothes . Such task, seeming awfully dreary were he alone, not knowing what all he’d have to buy for her, knowing he’d feel at a loss if he’d have to ask the employees at the store time and time again, surely appearing like one hopelessly clueless parent then, was less stressful in his mind once he thought of Renjun by his side. It would be funnier then, merely thinking of how he could rile the older up by suggesting the most traditional clothes for her despite knowing his boyfriend preferred a gender neutral approach, ditching ideas of blue is for boys and pink is for girls, leaning towards bright and cheerful designs instead, without any of these connotations. That someone cared as much about such simple things, impressions that could be left on a toddler and accompany her in her later years - it was awfully endearing to Jeno time and time again.

When Renjun didn’t reply immediately, Jeno delayed checking for answers to pocket his phone and headed inside instead, to get the target of his affections back into his arms instead. Picking up Luda and dressing her was always made easier once he mentioned that they were heading to their second home, playmates quickly abandoned at the prospect of snacks and dinner, her tiny body packed as warmly as he had been able to manage despite her growing out of her clothes too fast. With her in his arms, Jeno could still feel how she waved at the rooms they left behind, happily chortling after having spent her time excitedly. 

“ppa! Baik!” She yelled the moment she saw his bicycle outside, fingers coming together in a little clap, their shared joy about the vehicle evident but it also made things easier at times like these, when he could put her into the little seat on the pannier rack, belts securely wrapped around her form. Regardless of all his skills, he never dared riding with her, way too afraid that even a minor accident would send them tumbling over and her fragile body colliding with the ground. Prolonging the five minute ride into a walk of almost half an hour didn’t bother him then, allowing her to calm down as she curiously inspected their surroundings as if they didn’t pass by almost every day again. 

With the temperatures dropping, he was well aware he might have to switch to his car soon and if only to prevent her from catching a cold that seemed like to much to burden her with, but for as long as he could, he wanted to make sure they could enjoy this time together, calming down from their days as they headed home like this. Thinking of activities like teaching her how to ride a bike of her own, to watch over her cycling as they accomplished the same trek, the possibility of her turning into an active person like him or a couch potato like his boyfriend, they warmed his heart. Raising children of his own, it had been a distant life goal, and albeit it had come upon him faster than he’d thought, it didn’t bother him at all, made him happy to just observe her like this, to imagine what the future still had to hold for them by the time it arrived. The future was as present in his thoughts as the past, it was the beauty of the current moment that both came together, shifted, moved along the timeline of life bit by bit, and even just walking with the giggling toddler at his back, he couldn’t think of times so similarly and different alike.

The sun was warm on his skin as he eased up on the pressure he put on the pedals as he simply rolled down the street, the red lights in front of him barely visible thanks to the bright daylight, yet something he was very well aware of. More than the route from work to the daycare, he had already reached the point he had grown accustomed to the rhythm of traffic, not only what streets might be busier at this time, it was also the time at which the traffic lights would change that had him more at ease as he accomplished the same path over and over again.

Turning two more corners and he was in his targeted street, swinging one leg down as he used the last of his momentum to arrive at the entrance smoothly, stepping off the remaining pedal so he could halt for good and lean his bike against the entrance gate in familiar fashion. He was lucky it was grand enough to allow him doing so without blocking the way or he was certain he’d have gotten an earful from one of the child minders already. As it was, despite the somewhat more frequented path, he wasn’t much of a hindrance, and the parents passing him by shot him little smiles in greeting as they bowed their heads. Good as he could, despite having to take care off his helmet and gloves, he tried to reciprocate the gesture. 

Jeno was more than aware he was one of the youngest ones here, if not maybe the youngest parent to come pick up their kid, and that he had surprised several of them whenever he said he was here to pick up his daughter, not even bothering with the specifics. The younger ones had been shocked, to say the least, whereas the older ones had looked upon him with warm eyes, certainly relieved to see not all of their generation was so cruelly abandoning traditional expectations for their lives. A sentiment he could understand, regardless of not having grown up in a too conservative family - else he’d have been in trouble too - he had listened to a sufficient amount of comments during his high school years regarding the question of parenthood, that marriage and childbearing could be pushed back endlessly, and whilst he considered it as every mother’s right to decide about their own times, he had often enough wondered whether they were aware of all the risks such decision might bear. Not like he’d have pointed it out to them, not then and neither now, not when a reunion was not to happen for a while longer, and he could indulge his daily routine without thought.

Only it seemed it wouldn’t go as smoothly this day, not when he was just pushing back his hair and presented with the sight of Renjun coming out of the building, little Luda in his arms. Jeno froze in motion, blinking in confusion, and for a moment they just stared at each other, the younger in befuddled wonder, the older with a gaze he couldn’t interpret, dark eyes darting around Jeno’s appearance without seeming to be able to focus on a single point. As meaningful as that little situation seemed to be, it was interrupted just as quick as one mother Jeno knew from smalltalk left the building and this time space was tight, her little inquiry towards Renjun to step away breaking the bubble shared between them.

“Oh, are you here to pick up Luda, Jeno-ya?” She asked right after, once she caught sight of the latter, and despite his best interest he couldn’t recall her name at all at this current moment. “You’re looking good today again. Aigo, I always feel jealous of your wife having such handsome young man by her si-”

“Jeno,” Renjun cut off her words, a dangerous glint in his eyes the younger could not translate, all he knew was that it sent his thoughts into overdrive, not used to such expression on the pretty Chinese’s face. “I thought it was my turn to pick her up today?” Without any regard towards the lady, he proceeds to place Luda in her carrier, sending some sort of signal way above Jeno’s understanding.

Trying his best at a kind smile, Jeno looks at the mother whose child is growing a bit restless, and that one is a reaction he can translate with ease. “Yours is getting restless. You should head home too,” he says softly, only throwing a glance over his shoulder to make sure the path is clear before he pushes his bike backwards, out onto the pedestrian walk again. “Have a nice afternoon!”

Right beside him is Renjun, moving to sit on the bicycle seat without warning, weight not overbearing to the point it would send them tumbling over, just sufficient to have Jeno’s arms tensing to keep balance under his control. A little grunt escapes him, hand shifting to grab the top tube so he can get to work pushing the two forward carefully, strenuous at the beginning it becomes easier a few meters down, out of earshot from all the parents filing in and out the daycare at this favored hour. 

“You were impolite,” he states without thought, and it’s nothing more than that, a statement. Whatever the older decides to say or do, it isn’t actually Jeno’s business, it surprised him nonetheless for maybe he’s just too used to Renjun’s impeccable behavior and manners. It leaves him with wonder, that someone so kind hearted could behave quite like that.

Silently, it wouldn’t have been audible if not for their proximity, Renjun huffs. “She was impolite.. She had a ring on her finger and still flirted with another man - in front of children no less.” Arms crossed in front of his chest, he looked like a beautiful being, trapped between being a prideful god and a petulant child. It was fascinating.

Somewhat confused, Jeno looked at the older - had she been flirting? Had he really been that obvious? Being told that he’s handsome, good-looking, a catch, none of that was new to him, it was forward and easy to interpret but this hidden and round about way of flirting must be something he had unlearned if he didn’t recognize it even when aimed at him. Or maybe it was just that his focus was already on someone else he didn’t want to notice in first place, way more distracted by the way it was so easy , being with Renjun, being around Renjun, heart still fluttering in his chest whenever he could see the older looking at him, paying attention to him, being so close. 

Having this carefully developing crush on his neighbor was one thing, thinking about it right now, with the same nearby, didn’t seem like such a good idea, so he stubbornly kept his gaze forward under the pretense of paying attention to traffic. “I’m sorry,” he said instead, gaze falling upon a cat sneaking across the street, holding the same sort of elegance he saw displayed day by day by the man behind him. “If it was your day today and I got something messed up… I wouldn’t want to be a bother if you have something better to do and I-”

“Hey,” Renjun interrupted softly, the shift in weight more tangible than visible for Jeno who turned his head a bit to get a look at the other, heart promptly missing a beat as he perceived the older so close to him. “You could never be a bother, Jeno. Not you.” There was a hint of amusement playing around rosy lips, it was the same look the younger had caught on Jaemin’s face once too often, whenever his best friend knew more than he wanted to let on just then. Answers that were obvious to everyone but the person involved, and maybe he should put more importance on that little gesture, except Renjun’s beauty was way too distracting for that.

Luda let out a little scream, hands pointing at a little bird flying past above them, little fingers curling around air in a grabby motion. She was curious, ever so interested in everything, and Jeno couldn’t help feeling his heart soften at the sight of her, all the more when he caught a similar expression on Renjun’s face who was looking at her all the same. In a way, it was reassuring and dangerous at once, because dating without knowing what his partner would possibly think about kids was intimidating, if not terrifying, for they might always get turned off by the fact he wanted to take it slow, that the toddler was his utmost priority, and it was dangerous, because Renjun being so infatuated with Luda left his heart swelling within his chest, aching with warmth and affection he had no outlet for.

Stopping at a red light, he tried to calm the same muscle beating erratically, straining with handling his emotions, and he was thankful the sun was warm on them to cover up the flush he couldn’t tell anymore was caused by which of the two reasons. Across the street was a little café, ironwood furniture placed outside on a slim veranda, granting customers a little outside place for rest and relaxation, and as he watched an elder couple enjoy a sandwich together, he couldn’t help blurting out, “Do you want to go out for lunch?”

Behind him, Renjun snorted lightly, and from his periphery Jeno could see one hand placed on the handle, another coming to rest on his back as the older leaned forward. “Are you asking me out on a date, Jeno?” There was a teasing lilt in the Chinese’s melodic tone, accent slipping only at times like this, but the amusement seemed to die out as the younger shyly ducked his head, not knowing how to answer because he didn’t know the answer himself. Naturally Jeno would like nothing more than enjoying a date with his neighbor, he just didn’t feel like he’d ever be ready to do the same. “You are… aren’t you?”

It must have been too long he had actually asked someone out, in retrospect, he hadn’t been nearly as shy asking his high school girlfriend out, had simply approached her and posed his question back then. Now feeling so intimidated for directing the same question at someone else didn’t fit with his usual behavior, ironically, it was proof of his intent. Words that came with ease, words that held no meaning, they were useless in a situation like the current one, so he could only attempt to clear his mind and take a second before he faced Renjun again. The traffic lights had changed color and Luda was looking at them with evident confusion, only at this moment he was too transfixed on the innocent excitement in the other’s eyes which sparkled at him prettily. “What if I am…?”

Like flowers blooming, the older’s expression brightened, flourishing and changing into one of outright joy and unhidden delight. “Then I’d have to accept, I’m afraid,” the older answered, response unfittingly dramatic but easily taking the tension out of the conversation, like a balloon pierced with pencils, slowly losing water without bursting cruelly. “When do you want to go? This weekend?”

“Actually...” Jeno started, he wanted to look away but Renjun’s expressive eyes were hypnotizing, demanding his attention, for him to put focus on the Chinese, “I was thinking about now…?” Exactly why, he wouldn’t be able to tell - maybe because it made no difference, with how much time they had already spent together, they were way past the phase of needing to get to know each other better, living next to each other, spending some time every day together, so where lay the difference? In coming together with a suit rather than sweats? If anything, the latter would be more comfortable for certain. 

Some other people - or possibly many - might have been turned off by that offer, and Jeno counted himself lucky Renjun wasn’t other people - no, Renjun was just Renjun, someone who got him, understood his thoughts and tried to meet expectations without pressure, an easy exchange, give and take. There was no need to explain, and the same was only emphasized again as the lilac haired declared, “It better be some nice restaurant then, Jeno. You have to pay for not giving me any time to dress myself properly.”

And like that, looking at Renjun in his loose jeans and oversized pullover, hair ruffled and lips bitten raw, without realizing Jeno blurted, “You’re always pretty to me.” Despite his own embarrassment catching up to him a second later, he most definitely thought the shy blush dusted across the pretty man’s cheeks was entirely worth it. 

Daylight was distinguishably gone by the time Jeno had made it home with Luda, her little body back in his arms as he placed his bike in the little entryway between the doors. Regardless of not needing to do so thanks to having keys of his own, he had rung Renjun’s doorbell before entering, to notify his boyfriend of their arrival. It was a sweet feeling, to know he had finally arrived home, be it his own apartment or the one next door, he was simply looking forward to a set of comfier clothes and a cozy couch, some cuddles and food the cherry on top after such a busy day, and the prospect of all that combined made the elevator ride seem awfully long.

Renjun’s door wasn’t locked when they arrived, scent of roasted meat welcoming them, and it was almost on auto-pilot, the way Jeno went through his routine of locking the door, taking off their outside clothes and then carrying Luda to the bedroom where he changed first her and then his own clothing. Placing her on the couch, TV on, he gestured for her to stay in place whilst he headed for the kitchen, and only then did it feel like home - with his arms around Renjun’s waist and his face hidden at his boyfriend’s nape, inhaling the mixed perfume of a finished dinner and coconut borne from the newest set of body wash the older had bought and tried. It smelled good enough for him to take a bite so Jeno would most definitely give it a positive review and recommend it to his friends as well.

With a little sound, he nuzzled into the smaller’s neck, tension slowly fading away as he was allowed to just relax like this, lulled in by calm movements and heavenly scents clouding his mind, and were they not standing as upright as this he might have fallen asleep as well. And if not for Renjun’s punishing shoulder jostle. “Tough day?”

“Long day,” Jeno corrected wearily, his arms instinctively tightening around the other’s waist to eradicate any and all space between them. “Can’t wait for the weekend to come…”

It was silent for a moment, and based on the echo of motions he could feel, he could only assume that Renjun was busy finishing their dishes. Considering food was the payment for his patience, the younger had no will to complain, was too grateful he got to enjoy the luxury of coming home to a meal prepared for him, because some months back when he had needed to do it all on his own, it had most definitely been more taxing. The beeping of the overly modern stove resonated before Renjun’s words, albeit they didn’t follow too long after, “Why? Because Luda’s with your cousin?”

Taeyong, who was visiting their family, had offered to take Luda along for a day originally, but when even Jeno’s parents had volunteered to buy their son some free time, he hadn’t been able to deny them, both for he knew they loved their granddaughter so dearly and because he couldn’t remember the last time it had been Renjun and him only, spending time together without interruption and taking leaves. Because it was easy enough to take Luda to daycare and take half a day off, knowing the older had it easier thanks to working from home, but it didn’t sit right with him, not when he was aware that any work he didn’t get done himself might be pushed onto Johnny or Jaehyun, so he liked to keep these incidents to a bare minimum. That Taeyong’s part of the family had come together to celebrate something was just a fortunate occurrence, two days for them to take a breath and relax.

“‘at too. Mostly because I don’t need to worry about anything then,” Jeno mumbled, and they both knew it was a blatant lie for he would still try to check in on Luda ever so often, that he’d still call in at the store in case there were problems, and that caring for Renjun would be of importance as well. For Jeno, naturally, was someone who liked to provide, to build their frame of safety and well-being within which he could relax as well, admit to his own weakness where he no longer needed to appear strong and calm. It was one of his biggest blessings in life to have found such place within his boyfriend's arms, a place where he, once he was certain Renjun was at ease, could relax as well, and let go of his worries at least for a while.

“Worry about my needs,” the older huffed, shameless and forward and maybe a bit aggressive in the way his elbow collided with Jeno’s side, “And now go and prepare the table. I’ll keep my eye on Luda for the evening so you don’t need to vex yourself.”

“You’re the best, Huang Renjun. Really the best.” With some lingering reluctance Jeno pulled away to finish his tasks of setting the table and getting Luda into her kiddy chair so they could all eat together, a habit he liked to keep polished, this little time of talking about their days, of ranting and complimenting and taking delight in a warm meal - it meant a lot to Jeno, and it was all the more meaningful because it was something Renjun respected, accepted and even encouraged. To him, really, there was no one possibly better than the one right opposite him, enjoying his meal with a smile, cleaning Luda’s face in between, and looking ethereal despite wearing worn out sweats and Jeno’s military sweater. It was a look befitting home, a home for them to share and return to, a place for the three of them that put them at ease.

“You’re staring. And your food’s getting cold, Jeno.” A gentle reminder, for him to not get lost in fatigue and thought, but Jeno only ducked his head and finished eating his last bites quickly, with quite some delay compared to Renjun, as he realized now. At least, seeing how the older had already finished, he could get up to clean up without being a disturbance, putting away their fishes and wiping down the table whilst the other picked up Luda to go back to the couch with her. 

Decisive as she was, she had already chosen a book for them to read, or rather, for Renjun to read, because by the time Jeno had reunited with them, the older was already busy carefully enunciating every syllable, looking relaxed and at ease, and Jeno was just so tired. Without words or signals, he settled on the couch, his head on his boyfriend’s lap, and it took no more than a moment that Luda was in front of him, sitting with her back leaning against his chest, misusing him so shamelessly. He didn’t mind, he liked that little spot of warmth residing against his heart, liked to listen to Renjun’s melodic voice, liked to feel nimble fingers tracing through his hair carefully.

I really love this. I really love you , crossed his mind, thoughts he wasn’t certain he had said out loud or not for he was so tired it was easily possible, he wouldn’t have known for the very same reason, but it wouldn’t feel wrong. He did love Renjun, had fallen for so long, the freeing realization had never been far, and putting it into words so clearly heard would not be a problem for him. He did love Renjun, and both the very man concerned and the world should know, that his heart was taken and kept within someone else’s hold.