Chapter Text
Ritsu prides himself on being a patient, rational, and overall put-together person. His own classmates view him as a charming level-minded person, and his closer peers—well, some know him to be a not-so-charming but nevertheless level-minded esper.
However.
As he watches the smiley-faced blondie make goo-goo eyes and lovey-dovey faces at his brother, he’s not so sure where his self-control reaches its peak, especially when Brother reciprocates the disgusting acts of affection with his own small smile and eyes softer than Serizawa’s attitude when Reigen rambles about evil mushrooms or what-fucking-ever. Gods, he’s surrounded by lovelorn idiots.
Anyway, much to his continuous misfortune, the two lovebirds are holding each other’s hands and doing what Ritsu calls the eye equivalent of stargazing. Eye-gazing. It’s almost cute, but this is also Ritsu’s fucking room, and they’re only in here because Brother left a board game or whatever somewhere. Ritsu doesn’t want to be rude or anything, but he slams the board game right onto Hanazawa’s back because right now he feels like forgoing all sense of rationality to bleach his eyes clean.
Like some ill-timed (only for Ritsu) cliché, Hanazawa squawks, ends up on his bed, and lands on top of his brother all with the grace and floweriness of a fucking romance manga. Ritsu just wants them out of his room already.
But he perseveres with gritted teeth and a tight-lipped smile as Hanazawa thanks him and informs him that he'll be sleeping over with Mob. Again. For the third time this week. It is Tuesday.
***
"Hey, Ritsu," his brother starts. "Why do people think Hanazawa-kun and I are dating?" The Blazing Transfer Students opening is flashing on the TV screen and mixing with Brother’s seemingly calm voice. Ritsu, to his great regret, glances over to his sibling to see the slightest tinge of pink on his cheeks.
"Well," he tries, "you're both closer than normal friends usually are." Brother nods as if asking him to continue. Ritsu tries not to let the long-suffering exasperation show in his voice. "And you always look at each other like—I don't know—like, you like each other."
"But we do like each other." And Ritsu likes not doing this, right now.
"Like, like-like, you know?" He presses. Ritsu, for his academic prowess, feels as if his vocabulary while talking to his brother about his crush is limited to only 'like.' While he hates talking about this, he figures he hates watching them unknowingly pine over each other like a bunch of lovesick protagonists who don't know they're lovesick even more.
"Like-like...?" His older brother pauses until his face reddens in realization. "Ah! I like Hanazawa-kun romantically!" Yes, and they are Japanese; the sun is a star, and also grass is green. Ritsu sighs in relief.
Unfortunately, Mob’s face falls. "It's too bad he doesn't like me back, though."
Ritsu couldn't resist the urge to put his face in his hands and scream.
***
Shou snickers at Ritsu's constipated face as he watches the Hanazawa rat giggle at whatever Mob was saying. Fingers intertwined, they gaze at each other with such overwhelming tenderness that Ritsu almost pukes. He does not, because his dinner was chicken nuggets, and he is not going to tarnish chicken nuggets.
They're hanging out at a family restaurant by Reigen's treat, and somehow, with the greasy table, the cheap lights flickering on and off, and a baby wailing loudly in the background, the two lovebirds look like they're in the most romantic place on earth. Ritsu envies how it's perfectly normal for babies to cry in public while if he, someone who feels like he could snap and release all his pent-up esper energy from bearing witness to TeruMob's cuddling, cries in public, it would be considered 'weird' and 'unsettling.'
Curse social norms. He’d curse it with all his esper capabilities if it were tangible.
Reigen pats him on the back knowingly. "Don't worry. One day," he consoles with his usual dumbass smile. "One day, they'll finally confess and realize each other's feelings."
Ritsu gives him his own signature smile (the one that makes you wonder whether he's about to kill you or himself) and replies, "One day, you're going to be dead."
***
It's normal for Ritsu to be going home later than most students without council duties or clubs. It's normal. What isn't normal, though, is seeing the sun-bright Hanazawa in a convenience store without his older brother. Once they started high school in not only the same school but also the same class, it was as if they'd evolved from being glued to the hip to sharing it. The entire student body of their school either thinks they're dating or wonders why they aren't.
Much to Ritsu's ever-constant dread (which Reigen once laughed at, calling it a teenager's gloomy tendencies, followed by Ritsu telekinetically moving the chair he was about to sit on and making him fall on his ass with a string of curses and frantic waving of arms), Hanazawa spots him and starts to approach the younger male with a polite smile.
"Younger Brother-kun! How're you doing?" His blue eyes shone brightly, contrary to Ritsu's dead black voids. Teenager’s gloomy tendencies echo at the back of his mind. He pushes it back and replaces it with Reigen’s falling down to the ground.
"Just fine," he musters. Of course, being the amicable teen he is, Hanazawa continues the conversation smoothly and easily, vividly speaking about the newest sports celebrity and some cooking recipes. Ritsu doesn't mind so much as he thought he would; he supposes he only finds his presence unbearable when he looks sickeningly lovesick with his older brother. The mutual pining and slow burn were enough to make Ritsu forget that the older boy actually isn't that difficult to be around with.
They pay for their goods, and Hanazawa says, "Your brother's staying a bit later than usual for club stuff, so I decided I'd go ahead and help your parents prepare dinner as thanks for letting me stay over tonight."
Ritsu narrows his eyes. "Okay, well, that’s not really a surprise. After how many times you've been over, I'm sure my parents see you as their own son by now."
Unspoken: son-in-law.
Laughing almost nervously, the older male clears his throat. "So, um," he starts eloquently. "Does Kageyama-kun... Does Kageyama-kun talk about me sometimes?"
Sometimes? Are you kidding me? he wants to ask, but instead settles for "I think — sometimes is an understatement" because he's in a nice mood today (Reigen fell down a staircase) and has decided he shouldn't snark his upperclassman.
"An understatement? What do you mean by that?" he asks, fiddling with the straps of his bag like a damn schoolgirl protagonist in an overly cliché shoujo manga.
Ritsu shuts his eyes closed and breathes. He can do this. Maybe they might even get together after this painful conversation? The younger esper really doesn’t like talking about his brother’s embarrassing infatuation to the very source of it. It’s like listening to Reigen con poor saps in the office or, gods forbid, on the bustling streets of Seasoning City like a fraud, which he is.
“I meant,” he begins, “that he talks about you a lot. More so than any of his other friends. More so than Reigen, who’s been close to him longer than you have.”
The blonde’s hand reaches to rub the back of his neck, a nervous fallback. “Oh. That’s good to hear. I hope he’s spoken only good things.”
Yes. He’s only spoken good things. About you. He only speaks about you always, he doesn’t say, but the look on his face reveals as much, not that the idiot in love notices. Brother waxes poetic about the blonde so much that Ritsu feels like he’s known him since birth, much to his daily horror. He knows as much as his favorite food, his least favorite bodily disease (why?), his opinion on triquetral bones (which is not in their high school curriculum, he’s sure), and the barely noticeable mole on his lower hip that Ritsu hopes he learned because Hanazawa told him, and not because the blue-eyed boy has been naked in front of his brother twice (and isn’t that a thought he never wishes to come across again).
The exhibitionist (yes, he’s calling him that now, not that it’s his fault for being subjected to his brother’s overpowered ???, but technically) continues, “I… I care about him a lot—more than he probably thinks—and I want him to understand that,” he falters, blushing, and Ritsu wants to chuck himself into the concrete.
To translate the earlier passage: I like your brother romantically. I want to confess to him. The last part is the trickiest. Because, you know, they’re never going to do it. Last month, the blonde was flirting (routine, nothing new) with his brother and, word-by-fucking-word, said, “I wouldn’t mind going on a date with you, Kageyama-kun!” To which his brother replied, “Me too. You’re a very special person to me.” Reigen’s office went quiet after that interaction, staring anticipatedly at the two who were yet to notice. Even the client, a teenage girl there to have a ghost removed from her photo or whatever, craned her neck from where she was seated to watch the much-expected romance to occur. It did not. They simply continued talking, like they hadn’t just confessed their deep and unending love for each other.
A truck passes by, and Ritsu asks the gods to be merciful and let the vehicle end him of the unwilling role of spectator to this insufferable pining.
"Okay, look, Hanazawa-senpai." The younger student forces out the almost unfitting honorific and rids the 'Polite Good Mood Ritsu' because if these two don't make out at the very least in his lifespan (probably short, given the utter bullshit he has to deal with daily, and, no, he's not exaggerating, considering his brother has responded with a flowery description of Hanazawa's elbows when asked where the soap was), then he will suffer even in the afterlife.
He continues, "You like him—" Hanazawa sputters. "—and so does my brother. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, I'm sure. Confess already, or I will personally deliver you to your grave. Please. I'm begging you."
At this point, Ritsu looks close to esper-ing himself to the nearest cliff, and Hanazawa is as red as the blood that Ritsu would like to taint his dead body with. 'His' being either of them. He won't complain.
They don't say anything else on the walk to the Kageyama household. Ritsu just hopes that something happens tonight now that he’s revealed the obvious truth to one of them, but he knows not to get his hopes up.