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“Are you serious?”
The thud of an indignant gesture nearly shook Aki to her core, and she shied back as Caeldori loomed toward her. Heavy piles of books weighed down the table, so the impact didn’t generate much of an aftershock, but the other pegasus knight’s outburst had been startling enough on its own. Caeldori’s scarlet eyes flashed as she leaned across the table in outrage. “How can you not enjoy this kind of writing? The hero watches, starstruck, as he realizes at the warmth in his heart that he was in love with the maiden the whole time… Don’t you think that’s incredibly captivating and romantic?!”
Aki’s blank expression was anything but a mirror to Caeldori’s passion. She remained pressed back in her seat a little, but she returned Caeldori’s gaze directly. “…Not really,” came her unhurried reply.
Caeldori plopped back down into her own chair in defeat, an exasperating groan escaping her. The younger Sky Knight recovered the book that she had tossed aside in her outburst and smoothed out the pages that had been bent, as if demonstrating more of an apology toward an inanimate object than toward her friend sitting across from her. “That makes no sense to me,” she grumbled as she continued to tend to the book. “How are we going to have a good discussion at book club if Corrin’s not here, and you don’t appreciate a good romance?”
“I appreciate a good romantic story,” Aki protested carefully, finally straightening her own posture and smoothing a lock of auburn hair that had swept across her face. “It just needs to be thoughtfully executed.” Her eyes narrowed a bit as she surveyed the titles that the two of them had brought from the library, arms crossed, and then her gaze rested on Caeldori again. “I really don’t get the reliance on the same bland tropes all the time.”
“And I don’t get you,” Caeldori huffed, slamming the book closed in her hand before placing it on the surface of the table again. She finished, “I don’t think they’re bland at all.”
Aki stared back as the frustrated silence between them stretched on. Her instinct to react with a complete lack of interest had begun to fade, and she blinked thoughtfully, averting her gaze. It was true that she didn’t hold a shred of care for the kind of stories that Caeldori was referring to. But maybe, it would have only been kind of her to at least entertain the younger girl’s enthusiasm… They both knew all too well that there weren’t nearly enough other people at the Hoshidan fort with more than a passing interest in books. There were very few others with whom they could share their excitement toward all the stories they had been reading. Aki sighed as her eyes rested on the wooden wainscoting near the ceiling, illuminated by a bluish beam of light from the outside. Finally, she gathered the strength to meet Caeldori’s gaze again. “Yeah. I guess.” Her attempt at recovery had come across pretty weakly, though, and she winced inwardly.
Perhaps she could change the subject. Thankfully, Caeldori didn’t respond, offering her another opening for conversation. “So what’s this one?” she asked, pointing to another title that Caeldori had brought from the pile she had been reading. It was a bit of a thicker book, and though the maroon binding was fairly nondescript, it was debossed with a gold title and decorations on the cover.
“Ooh,” Caeldori mused, her eyes taking on a more enthusiastic light again as she reached to pick up the book that Aki had referred to. Though her voice was muted, the corner of her lips curled up mischievously. “Forbidden love.”
Aki blinked again, a thorn of regret lodging itself in her heart at the anticipation of what she was about to get herself into. “Have you finished the whole thing already?” The tone of her reply had come out a bit stilted, but she pressed on nonetheless, determined to make up at least a little for brushing off Caeldori earlier.
The stiltedness didn’t escape Caeldori, and she glanced a bit doubtfully in Aki’s direction before gently putting aside the previous subject of debate and placing the new book directly in front of herself. “Not yet,” she began, “but I haven’t been able to put it down. The feelings that the protagonist has towards her object of affection seem really genuine. But there’s so much tension in the latter half of the book, and I just can’t wait to see what happens next!” The caution in her voice gradually fell away as she lost herself in this new title. Aki allowed a wave of relief to wash through her, even as apprehension seemed awkwardly lodged inside her bones. Caeldori continued, “Will she finally be able to express her true feelings? Or will there still be trouble afoot for her? That’s what we’re trying to find out now.”
The younger Sky Knight leafed through the book until settling on a page about two-thirds of the way in, and Aki laughed a bit dryly. Sadly, she was finding, she wasn’t much good at lying. Not that she was ever under the impression that she would be. “That’s certainly a nerve-wracking spot to be in,” she agreed as she broke away from Caeldori’s gaze to look toward the floor. She fumbled for words for a moment, then finally resumed the conversation. “Do you think things are going to turn out okay for her?”
“I sure hope so!” Caeldori’s eyes leaped back to her friend from where they had gotten lost in the pages. “There’s nothing worse than having a crush and not being able to say anything.”
Another bought of ironic laughter escaped Aki’s chest before she could stop it. But Caeldori remained fixated on the title she had picked up, burying her face in her arms as she held the book and ruffling her own long, crimson hair with the other hand. “But still, that suspense is the best part of the story!” she continued as she recovered herself from another display of enthusiasm. “I just can’t get enough of it. Especially when it’s well-written like this one.”
The pointed addition didn’t miss Aki, though for once she didn’t have to try too hard to concur with Caeldori’s train of thought. “Yeah. Nothing like how awful it can be in real life.”
Caeldori cocked an eyebrow, and for a heartbeat Aki feared that she had incited her rage again with her careless words, but a wide grin slowly spreading across the other girl’s face suggested a different emotion. She shifted to a slightly different subject rather abruptly: “Have you been in love before?”
The question flustered Aki even more than Caeldori’s earlier show of anger had, and she grasped desperately for a response. Butterflies in one’s stomach were one thing, but this flutter of dread at being pinned by a question was something else entirely. “I-I guess?” she deflected, unwilling to face Caeldori head-on but unable to completely lie on the spot either.
“Oooh.” Playfulness shone in Caeldori’s eyes, perhaps even more strongly than when they had been talking about fictional tales, and the younger Sky Knight relaxed thoughtfully as she closed the book she had been holding. “So you are the romantic type. At least, in a way. Somehow, I thought you would say no.”
Aki smiled and chuckled nervously, though it was clear that Caeldori was having too much fun with the subject to stop her now. “You have to tell me, what’s he like? Give me at least a hint?”
Aki looked briefly at the wall as if it was suddenly the most important thing in the room, and then her gaze snapped back to Caeldori. Even if she genuinely tried to search her mind for an answer, she was entirely unable to formulate one.
“Please?” And then, at Aki’s continued silence, another sparkle of understanding in her eyes. “Oh. Can you not tell me? It’s forbidden love, right?”
Aki practically bit her lip at the question. The slight twitch in her jaw was enough of an answer for her interrogator.
“Aaah,” Caeldori breathed understandingly, and she rested her elbows on the table and brought her palms together in front of her a little too blissfully. “I wonder if I can guess who it is! Is he strong? Handsome? Kind?”
This time, Aki dodged the question artfully, and her own laugh was maybe a little too genuine. “You know, even if you guessed right, it’s not like I’d tell you.”
“Yeah, that’s true.” But Caeldori didn’t look defeated in the slightest; her expression remained bright and focused. “But still, I can try to guess, can’t I? Maybe…”
Mercifully, her words trailed off as she seemed to explore the possibilities inwardly, and Aki watched—awkwardly, but surprisingly with some amusement, too. It would be a lie to say that Caeldori’s excitement, even if it was at her expense, didn’t bring her a little happiness, too; after all, the young Sky Knight was practically like a niece to her. And with how her question had been phrased, Aki hypothesized, Caeldori likely wouldn’t arrive at the answer on her own, anyway.
Just as they both seemed to lose themselves in their thoughts, a knock at the wooden door brought them back to the present. Caeldori rectified her posture, now sitting gracefully as if on instinct, and Aki turned toward the door reflexively. The door opened hesitantly, and one of the castle’s squires eased his head into the room. “Caeldori?” he asked cautiously, and then more intentionally as he realized the person he was searching for was present. “Oh, there you are! I thought I’d find you in here. We needed help with the weapons orders. Would now be a good time to—”
But Caeldori was already standing up straight and advancing toward the door, as if she hadn’t just been lost in her own imagination mere seconds ago. “Absolutely! Show me how I can help.” As she strode to exit the room, she turned towards her fellow bookworm just enough to issue a brief apology. “Sorry, Aki! We can continue this another time for sure. I’ll let you know how that book goes!”
The lilt in her voice sounded almost like a song as Caeldori followed the squire out of the room, and Aki was left watching as they retreated without time to even react. As she processed what had happened, though, she let out a last sigh and returned her gaze to the pile of books now strewn across the table from their various conversations. She knew that Caeldori was nothing if not hardworking. Though, her enthusiasm for romantic stories would surely be a close second to her strong work ethic. Hopefully, Aki wouldn’t have to take Caeldori’s threat to find her out too seriously…
Finally, she was alone, in the room they had designated as their book club meeting spot, with her sheer disinterest for the stories that the other Sky Knight had so ardently praised. Aki had determined not to remain too bitter about it, but something about those stories bugged her nonetheless. What was so captivating about the basic idea of a man and a woman being “in love,” anyway? She had never been able to get behind it unless there was something else in the narrative that piqued her interest. But clearly, judging by how massive of a collection the library had of such books, there was something popular about it, whether or not there were other things woven into the story supporting the main romance. Aki stared emptily at the stack of books that had been strewn across the tabletop as the two had conversed, and her eyebrows furrowed. Was there something she was missing?
Different. As much as Aki loved reading on her own, sometimes thinking about the kind of books that Caeldori enjoyed made her feel different. Nothing like the songs that she had been taught, and that she had continued to discover as she conducted her own independent investigations of the library’s collections of sheet music. She loved a good book as much as any other avid reader—but admittedly, she could be picky. But music—something about the songs, their joy and sorrow and passion and other emotions, and their fewer prescriptive notions on whom those emotions could be for and how they could be expressed—resonated with her. When she wasn’t sure how to confront her own tumultuous feelings, books would often exacerbate them, with the exception of that occasional hidden gem. But singing would release them, gather them into a form that felt she could begin to deal with.
Absently, Aki began to gather the books into more organized piles, and resolved to carry the stack that Caeldori had finished reading back to the library on her way to her other errands. It wasn’t that she didn’t genuinely share the other pegasus knight’s love for books. There were just so many of them—it seemed like almost an entire genre—to which she couldn’t relate. And sometimes, even within their tiny three-person book club, that made her feel alone. Aki wasn’t sure whether she was disappointed or relieved that Corrin hadn’t been there to add to the lively (if one-sided) conversation about romance stories.
Closing the door quietly behind her and pressing a group of books to her chest with her other arm, Aki started down the now-darkened hallway to return to the library’s main atrium. Even if she didn’t understand some of Caeldori’s musings in the slightest, she agreed that it was immensely frustrating to be utterly unable to express those feelings to anyone. One option would be to retreat into her own world and go on a solo search among the library’s stacks for some new books that might pique her interest… But as she emerged into the high-ceilinged room, the daylight streaming in from one of the library’s taller windows seemed to call to her. For now, Aki felt like she could use a good singing session.