Work Text:
And just like that, Aki found herself nearly fumbling the torch.
It wasn’t that she didn’t see the other Sky Knight coming. She had plenty of time to brace herself to take the torch in hand as the other knight tore off towards base camp. It was nothing compared to the difficult aerial maneuvers she had executed so many times. It was just… the only other time fire would come flying toward her would be when she was at the receiving end of a Nohrian enemy’s magic.
And unlike a magic attack, the fire didn’t dissipate once it came close enough. She held the torch at her full arm’s length with a shaking hand, breath held as she prayed it wouldn’t fall. Gingerly, she released her pegasus’s reins so that she could use both hands to stabilize her grip. Then finally, she found a fairly stable position, the reins loosely in her right hand and the torch held in her left, maybe a bit too far from her body.
She remembered where she was and gestured to her pegasus cautiously to advance, but even as she recovered, the torch burned in her peripheral vision, and she found her gaze drifting to it against her will. Sure, the torch lit their path, but it also wavered a little too powerfully every now and then, as if feinting to escape its cage. It popped and spat embers every few seconds, which burned out before they could touch anything–but with each one came the new threat that it would alight on Aki’s glove.
Mercifully, her pegasus trod along the forest trail with little difficulty, and she could hear the familiar foot- and hoof-steps of the others following behind her. Aki chided herself inwardly for letting her fear take over her so thoroughly. The status of her fellow soldiers was much more important: with many injured, they could only move at a careful pace, and since Aki was in good condition and one of the few knights with both healing and offensive abilities, she could defend their group should they come under attack.
Only their pace measured the time it would take to reach the camp–the time until they could renew their supplies and tend to the wounded with more than just their staves. The night air was still, except for the crackling of the torch Aki had been left to handle. From behind, she hoped she looked confident. She trusted her muscle memory to keep her body in tune with her pegasus, at least most of the way. Part of her mind still went back to the torch, and even if her allies behind her didn’t sense it, she figured her pegasus would.
He tossed his head and shifted his wings slightly, and she stroked his mane absently, wishing the touch could comfort her as well. But still, there was the torch in her hand. Every time the flame flickered, the vision was cast into her mind of the forest around her going up in flames.
Should that happen… she could hardly comprehend it. She shook her head rapidly to dislodge the thought. The sight of Nohrian armor and dark wyverns emerging from the darkness would be less frightening. Then, at least she could trust her instinct, her weapon, and the techniques she had so carefully honed. In the face of fire, she could only freeze.
Of course, that probably wouldn’t be an issue, as long as she wasn’t reckless… She forced herself to even her breathing and loose the tension in her shoulders. Her heart thudded and she could feel herself sweating, in spite of the evening chill.
Her mind played that back-and-forth game seemingly the whole way there: try not to think about the fire, think about something else, think about the fire again, refocus, refocus. There was nothing to interrupt it–which, she guessed, she should be grateful for. No exclamations from the soldiers behind her, no attacks under the cover of night, hardly even the cry of nocturnal animals (at least that she had noticed).
Then, finally, her torch wasn’t the only firelight to focus on. The warm light of the camp drew closer until it enveloped her, then the group behind her. The murmurs of her allies resting and bustling about grew slowly more audible.
An infantry soldier dutifully took the torch as she passed into the clearing, and Aki realized her hand was still shaking. Maybe from fear, or maybe from the strain of keeping the fire as far away from her as possible… More like cowardice. She sighed to herself, steadying her hand just enough to dismount her pegasus and lead him to the side to where the other equines were kept. Then she joined the fellow human members of the camp.
Among the torches fixed to their posts in front of the various tents, smaller fires warmed groups of four or five people huddling around them. One farther off even brought the relieving smell of much-needed food as it was carefully charred. But for now, that wasn’t Aki’s concern. She looked about the camp, scanning for familiar faces, and confirmed that the injured members of her group had been taken to the well-stocked healing tent. Aki herself was largely unscathed… and needed to calm down more than anything.
Where others might prod the seeds of a fire to encourage it to light in the appropriate way, or might manipulate their instruments in tandem with the flame to prepare a meal, Aki could hardly imagine how it was done. The only image that shone in her mind when she drew close to a fire was that of being engulfed. A purely irrational thought, yet a persistent one. She couldn’t even pinpoint when the fear had first rooted itself in her. But even as she grew older, stronger and more skilled, she couldn’t dislodge it.
She shook her left hand briskly, dislodging a few bits of ash from her glove. It was time to move on. She strode back into the camp to find her bearings again and to get some rest, grateful that for now, her teammates held the duty of controlling the fires. In the meantime, she could skirt around them just enough to dampen her caution, to take advantage of their warmth without reawakening the fear in her heart.