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The Weird and Wonderful

Summary:

Erik Lehnsherr, currently (maybe soon to be formerly) of Interpol ran into a strange guy with a strange ray gun and now he finds himself in Westchester in front of a house that isn't a house. Or maybe it's just more than a house.

Notes:

I've mainlined Warehouse 13 seasons 1-4 this week on NetFlix - so I can't even claim I'm terribly surprised by this. However, it may yet surprise me, because as I was editing, I had more insane ideas for this AU setting. If you haven't watched Warehouse 13, you might consider it. The characters are quite likable, the settings and plots a little cheesy at times, but it's entirely a very entertaining sci-fi show.

All you need to know is that it's a weird and wonderful world. Sometimes things get imbued with a certain energy and they can become quite dangerous and volatile - especially in the hands of people who don't know what they have - or worse, who know what they have. The job of the Warehouse agents is to snag, bag and tag them - hide them away in the Warehouse (which I have moved to Westchester for the sake of making it x-men related). The Warehouse tends to be an organic thing, alive in its own way and has a caretaker. I figured setting it in this universe, it would make sense if the Warehouse would attract psionics for that job. And in general attract mutants who will end up as agents for it.

So yeah. I might have more ideas for this *ducks head*

Work Text:

Erik Lehnsherr stared at the mansion - and in an odd way it seemed to be staring at him in return. It looked like an ordinary mansion right until he used his gift to feel it out. It felt... weird. Like it was out of proportions. Normally it wasn't strange feeling lower levels under a structure, basements, sub basements - but this still felt… weird. As if it was straining.

As he walked up to the main door, he felt nothing bad, just a sense of expectation. The door was jerked open and a young woman stuck her head through the opening, looking him up and down - not seeming terribly impressed. "Agent Lehnsherr?" she asked.

Erik cocked his head. He wasn't sure what he'd expected when he'd come halfway across the world but-

"Lehnsherr? Erik Lehnsherr?" she asked, looking a little impatient.

"Yes, and who might you be?" he asked, deciding to just go with it. She was terribly young, wholesome looking with her blonde hair and pale skin.

"Come with me," she said, pushing the door open, stepping aside to let him inside. The foyer of the place was huge, either side flanked by stairs that converged at the top to then split into two separate staircases.

Erik still didn't get a bad vibe from the place, so he followed his curiosity and walked a little faster to catch up with the young woman.

"I'm supposed to warn you about what you're about to see is top secret, strange, weird and wonderful and blah blah blah," she said, gesturing for him to follow her into an elevator. "But I think you'll get the idea in a minute. You're a mutant, right?"

Erik just stared at her for a moment, then nodded.

"Good," she replied, her skin and clothes rippling, leaving behind a young girl in yellow coveralls and not much else. Her skin was blue and looked to be covered in scales - her hair was deep red and her eyes yellow.

Erik kept a straight face and just raised an eyebrow. It wasn't the fact that she was a mutant that had surprised him, it was the apparently effortless way she seemed to shift and use her gift that was quite impressive.

At least his lack of surprise or fear or whatever seemed to appease his guide. She huffed out something under her breath that wasn't loud enough for him to hear. "Sublevel one," she said and the elevator began moving.

The ride took less than twenty seconds and Erik only felt the movement of the elevator by the feel of metal gliding past metal. He wondered what he was actually doing there. His previous week had gone from his normal job with Interpol to insane a few nights earlier with a glowing statue and an American guy who had zapped him with something electrical that had left him with a few holes in his memory and a slightly fuzzy head.

The elevator came to a stop and Erik was about to follow his guide out when she turned around, putting her hand out to stop him. "You're about to step into a strange world, Agent Lehnsherr - please restrain yourself from attacking anyone, gawking-"

"Raven, let the man enter before you start in on him," a voice said from beyond the open doors of the elevator.

Erik shot his guide - Raven - a look. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know why she'd started out with such a tirade. As he stepped through the doors, he realized why the attacking part had been mentioned. The young, blonde man who had spoken was more than familiar. Erik's hand jerked towards his gun in his shoulder holster. "You!"

The guy, barely out of his teens if Erik were to guess, held up both his hands and there was a glow to his upper body that instantly put Erik on the defensive.

"The Professor is going to be disappointed in you both if you start a fight," another voice informed them. "Well, he might be okay if you take it outside, but don't start anything in here, Alex."

Alex powered down again, putting his hands down along his sides, though he still held some hostility in his stance. "I didn't expect him to recognize me, Darwin," he apologized.

Darwin stepped forward, holding out his hand and wearing a genuine smile on his face. "Welcome to the Warehouse, Agent Lehnsherr, I'm sorry about the reception - the Professor would have liked to welcome you himself, but he and Hank are a little busy down in the blue section. I promised to take you down there, though."

Erik relaxed a little, even if he still felt like he should keep his defenses up around Alex.

However, Raven and Alex stayed behind in the slightly stuffy room they had entered from the elevator. As they walked down a long shiny hallway, Erik wondered at the stark contrast between the room he'd come in through, full of shelves, filing cabinets and desks full of paper and the pristine hallway itself.

"I'll take you down to the blue section," Darwin said, walking over to another elevator. "I'm sorry about Raven and Alex - they're quite protective of this place and of the Professor."

"I have to admit I'm a little surprised as to why I, as an Interpol agent, am here, in the middle of nowhere in a house that isn't what it seems on the outside," Erik admitted. He paused for a moment, then went on. "It feels very much differently to me than it looks to my eyes."

"Well, there's one reason why you're here then," Darwin said. "The Warehouse doesn't normally let anyone see that. Most people don't even see the mansion on top of it."

They entered the elevator and Erik did wonder about Darwin's choice of words. Like the place, the Warehouse - was sentient. "You keep mentioning the Professor," Erik said instead. He had seen too many things through his life to really scoff at the idea of a sentient house. Even if it did sound ridiculous.

"Ah, yes - Alex, Raven and I plus Sean and Angel, who you still have to meet, are the ones sent out to pick up ...artifacts, and before you ask, I promised I'd let the Professor explain. Let's just say that sometimes objects turn up that have an unfortunate effect on people and they can and must be neutralized."

"Ah," Erik replied. "Like the statue Alex tasered me to get."

"It's a tesla, not a taser," Darwin said. gesturing for Erik to follow him out of the elevator and into something that looked like a huge, old storage room, row upon row of shelves with knick-knacks on them. "But essentially, yes."

"Tesla - as in-" Erik started, slightly surprised.

"Nikola Tesla, yes, he invented it and the Warehouse agents still makes use of it - especially since it induces unconsciousness and a slight bit of short term memory loss," Darwin interjected. "And is, unlike a modern gun, quite harmless." Darwin turned down between another row of shelves. "Well, unless you fire it at close range - it can be lethal then."

"I had a close intimate counter, yes," Erik said drily.

Darwin coughed, not really managing to hide a small laugh. "I'll admit to the fact that Alex can be a little trigger happy, but in his defense, we rarely have time to make explanations - and it would defeat the purpose of the Warehouse to tell the world about it. We are supposed to be a secret organisation and all."

Before Erik could ask what he was doing there then, and what the heck they were doing there, Darwin stopped and looked up. Erik followed his eyes and saw something furry and large looming over them on a ladder.

"Hank, have you got a minute?" Darwin called up

The big furry figure detached itself from the ladder and landed on the ground next to them. Hank, it appeared, was another mutant as well, agility and feline appearance along with the blue fur obvious giveaways.

"Darwin," he said with a grin, showing a nice set of fangs. "The Professor is just about done, he'll be down in a minute." He turned to Erik. "Agent Lehnsherr, I take it," he said, addressing him.

Erik took the proffered hand and shook it. "Yes, and you must be Hank…"

"McCoy," the man replied. "I'm the Warehouse's tinkerer, is probably the best term."

"And the Professor," Darwin said, interrupted by a huge crack of lightning emanating off a shelf further up.

Erik reacted instantly- instinctively - reaching upward to grab onto the metal falling towards them, slowing it and ending up with a young man in his arms, who looked about as surprised as Erik felt.

Opening his mouth to ask what was going on, Erik shut it again, falling not just into the blue eyes of his armful of man, but also, it seemed, the man's mind. For a split second, Erik thought he could hear a double sort of heartbeat, then he was pulled back out.

'I'm terribly sorry about that,' a soft voice said inside his head. 'But how marvelous, you felt the Warehouse!'

Erik gave him a shocked and surprised look. He wasn't unfamiliar with telepaths, but he'd always felt them invasive and brash, whereas this had felt… almost organic, like he'd been linked to two minds at once.

'Like I said, you felt the Warehouse - which is very rare indeed,' the man carried on, looking delighted and happy.

"Erm, professor?" Hank interrupted them.

Erik looked up to find both Darwin and Hank watching him with surprise on their face.

"Yeah, that was fast," Darwin said, nudging Hank who looked as if he was blushing purple under the fur.

It wasn't until then Erik realized that he was quite comfortably holding the other man, completely captivated by him. With a cough, he let him down and ignored the frisson of attraction lazily rolling through him. Which didn't diminish when he realized he had a little height on the professor. Erik would not admit to it being a slight weakness of his, that he much liked men who were shorter than him. He wondered how well the Professor would fit if held properly.

The Professor flushed lightly and Erik shut off his thoughts in any regards to his own preferences and attraction.

"It's like watching a trainwreck," Darwin muttered to Hank, who merely shuffled his feet. "Good thing Raven isn't down here."

A crackle from a speaker above them made them all look up.

//If my dear brother is done making a spectacle of himself, maybe he should bring the newest agent up to speed//

The Professor glared at the speaker and for a moment he didn't say anything. Erik figured he was communicating telepathically, especially when the speaker exhaled in an almost petulant way before being cut off.

"Hank, Darwin, go on ahead - I'll take the long way around with agent Lehnsherr - it is only fair that he sees some of what he's getting himself into - should he agree to stay." The Professor smiled at him.

Erik found himself smiling back without thinking about it. He felt utterly at ease, like he was being held in an embrace and once again sat in the kitchen of his youth with his mother busily baking.

Charles took his arm and led him away from the two other agents. "Come along now, I have much to show and tell you." He pulled Erik down another aisle of shelves. "Tell me, agent Lehnsherr, what do you smell?"

"Smell?" Erik was taken quite off guard, the thoughts of his mother's kitchen falling away, yet there was still the smell of… "Zimt und Zucker."

The Professor slowed down a moment. "The Warehouse is already reacting to you," he said, joy and surprise in his voice. "Cinnamon and sugar? Yes. Yes, this is good." He stopped for a moment, turning to Erik, yet still not letting go of him. "You shall fit right in here, my friend, and please, call me Charles."

"Charles," Erik repeated, feeling quite out of wits. He'd come to Westchester mostly in mind of turning down whatever he'd been offered, but the place and its inhabitants was quite taking him by surprise. And he had to admit that he was quite intrigued by it all. The Warehouse as well as Charles.

His use of the Professor's first name earned him a brilliant and bright smile and an even stronger scent of cinnamon. Yes, he'd stay for a little while and see what this was all about.