Chapter Text
“You’re what? What are you going to do? Is it Logan’s or that wookie? Please tell me your baby daddy isn’t a man dressed as a wookie?”
“Don’t ever say the phrase baby daddy ever again?”
Lorelai was looking frantically at her daughter. “Well, inquiring minds want to know? Details. I need details.”
“Of course it’s Logan’s.”
“Are you going to tell him? You have to tell him? Do you know what you are going to do? Of course you do. You always have a plan.”
“I am having it. But, outside of that, I have no idea what the hell I’m doing and I’m not sure telling Logan is the brightest idea. I don’t want this kid to have anything to do with that family and he’s getting married.” Rory dropped her face in her hands. “I’m a terrible, terrible person.”
Lorelai rubbed her daughter’s back and said. “No, no you aren’t. You are young, and life just has this way of hitting you with a bunch of surprises. Hey, at least you’re in your thirties and not a teenager. You have me. You have Luke. You have this whole freaking town. We got you.”
Rory put her head on her mother’s lap and tried not to think about all of the decisions that she needed to make. She didn’t even know how she was going to pick up the pieces of her life, but she needed to figure it out. But, for tonight she was going to sleep and enjoy her mother’s town wedding. The soothing stroke of her mother’s hands put her to sleep instantly and before she knew it, it was the crack of dawn and she could hear the stirring of last minute preparations upstairs. She dragged her tired body to the kitchen to brew herself a cup of coffee when she remembered that it was strictly decaf for her and she shuddered slightly. Rory rummaged through the cabinet’s until she found the stash that Luke had hidden in the back of the cupboard. He thought Lorelai was unaware of his attempts to swap out her regular coffee for decaf, but she knew, but she let him do it anyway. She was waiting for the coffee to brew when Jess came into the room. He smelled of fresh cologne and had his bowtie hanging over his shoulders.
“Why do you look like you’re recovering from some awful bender?”he quipped.
“You could say the last few months has been one never ending bender.”
Jess grimaced and took a seat at the kitchen table. “So, you wanna tell me about it?”
“No, not really. I don’t want to think about it. Today is about Mom and Luke.”
Jess nodded his head in agreement, but he had this niggling feeling that she was dealing with something really big and he wanted to be there for her but at the same time, he didn’t want to get sucked in to her world anymore than he already was. He liked his life. He was doing well. The printing press was doing well. Jess wanted to keep their relationship strictly business, but there was this small part of him that had lingering feelings that just wouldn’t die. He looked into her eyes and he could see the pain of hurt and confusion. She was an old friend that was waffling and he felt like he owed it to her to help her since she was the first person to really believe in him.
“Okay, but you know, if you wanna talk, I’m here” he said as she squeezed her shoulders as he walked past her and out the door.
“Thanks,” she said with a smile and got up and poured herself a cup of decaf. This would be the first of many lifestyle changes that she would have to make in order to accommodate this other life living inside of her. She sat at the same kitchen table where she’d spent years doing homework preparing for the life that turned out to be nothing like she imagined. But, as she thought of all the places she’d visited, a smile lit up her face. She may not be Christiane Amanpour, but she did get to see Fez.
**********
Rory managed to get herself showered and changed in time to help her mother with the finishing touches on her dress. It was a simple crème dress that hugged her curves in all the right places without seeming like it was too much. Lorelai had a wreath made of wild flowers in her hair. Rory helped her curl her long brown hair before helping her put the finishing touches on her make-up. Once she was done she looked at her mother with tears in her eyes.
“Why are you crying Rory? You know we’re already married?”
“I know, but you look perfect and you deserve the town celebrating this day because you’re finally getting everything you wanted.”
“My middle. I am getting my middle,” Lorelai said with smile on her face.
But, Rory couldn’t seem to stop crying. She wiped them away with the sleeve of her dress. “It’s the hormones. They’re the first thing to kick in, well that and the nausea.”
“It’s not that, its…nevermind.” Rory said with shake of her head. “Today is about you not me and my infinite list of problems.”
Lorelai grabbed her daughter by her shoulders and said, “It’s okay. Tell me. What is it?”
“I want a middle mom and all I seem to have is a string of endings,” Rory said as she wiped the tears from her face. She couldn’t help, but think what her life would have been like if she had just said yes to Logan all those years ago. She always managed to do things ass backwards ever since she first met him. Maybe it was a sign.
“You’re doing that thing where you get stuck in your thoughts again,” Lorelai said.
“We’ll have plenty of time to talk things out later. Now you have a flash-mob to mock and a town to celebrate with.”
Lorelai smiled to herself and the two Gilmore girls headed out to the town square. Once the music started to play, Rory walked her mother down the aisle as the town looked on with a huge smile on their face. Once she handed her mother off to Luke she stood to her right and watched the two once again exchange vows, but to most people they were watching this for the first time.
Their vows were the least conventional ones she had ever heard. It was full of coffee references and witty banner, but was also full of heart. It was who they were. No matter what the basics of their relationship didn’t really alter. But, together they were better—stronger. Rory found herself crying not only out of joy, but because she knew now that she wanted what they had and new she had let it go. She had a chance to fight for Logan again, but she chose not to and now she was pregnant with their child. She knew she had to tell him. But, the idea of dealing with the wrath of the Huntzberger clan did not excite her.
After the reception, Rory and Lorelai sat on the couch reminiscing about the craziness of the town wedding.
“I still can’t unsee those dance moves from Kirk,” Lorelai said.
“Please don’t remind me,” Rory insisted.
“I think Miss Patty has found a new prey. That poor man doesn’t stand a chance,” Lorelai insisted.
Rory shook her head at the antics of her favorite townspeople. Even Taylor seemed to have gotten into the spirit of things and joined in on the fun which surprised everyone, most of all Luke.
Lorelai looked at her with seriousness and said, “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know mom.”
“Before you do, there is something I need to give you and I probably should have given it to you earlier, but I was too scared of what it might be.”
“What is it?”
Lorelai ran up the stairs and came back down with an envelope in her hands. “Here you go.”
“I still haven’t opened mine, but I think its time you got yours and decided if you are ready to open it up.”
Rory fingered the edges of the envelope. Her name was written on top in her grandfather’s handwriting. She knew it wasn’t a will or anything, but the contents scared her a little bit.
“I’m going to go to bed. See you in the morning kid!”
Rory spent the better part of the night staring at the envelope deciding if she should open it. Eventually, she ripped it open and inside were two things: A letter and a cashier’s check for $500, 000
Rory traced her fingers along the edges of the letter. Her grandfather had used his favorite stationary to write it. It was firm, narrow and crème colored. The same stationary that her grandmother Emily had picked out when they first got married to write their thank you letters. It was just like Richard Gilmore to hold fast to tradition. She sat on the floor and opened the letter.
Dear Rory,
If you are reading this. then I am no longer with you. I am so glad that I got a chance to get to know you. I am sure you will accomplish great things, you are already well on your way. Remember to never doubt yourself. There will be pitfalls along the way. No life is complete without making mistakes that seem insurmountable. But, remember that you are a Gilmore and we never ever give up. Hold fast to your independence and your willfulness. But, if there ever comes a time where you feel like you need a little help, I’ve attached a little something. Please deposit it and use it as needed. I trust your judgement. I would say use it to see Fez, but you’ve already accomplished that particular dream.
Don’t forget to watch out for your grandmother. She is far more fragile than she seems. Your mother has Luke and that fire inside of her to keep her going. But, most of all, don’t push away love. The joy it brings outweighs any pain. So, don’t be afraid to let love in. You deserve a lifetime of happiness and partnership. Independence is worthless if it comes at the expense of your heart.
Remember, that on this earth and in whatever is waiting for me next, I love you Rory.
With all my love,
Richard Gilmore
Rory wiped the tears from her face and gently folded the letter. She could practically see him sitting at his desk writing this letter. It was probably the most honest he’d ever been with her while remaining oddly formal. But, that was her grandfather. She closed the letter and held it firmly against her chest. The tears came instantly. Her sadness seemed to come in spurts; never truly dissipating. She would be hit with these strange moments of grief that seemed so overwhelming that all she could do was sit in silence. Her grandfather had made a much larger impact on her life than she could have ever have predicted, but now she sat here—a life shambles and as much of a disappointment (if not greater) that he’d once thought her mother was. Rory quickly shook off those thoughts. Life had just given her a swift quick in the butt. What she’d been for the past few years was a disappointment. Now, she had someone else’s future to think about.
With her grandfather’s words ringing in her ear, she knew exactly what she needed to do. She picked up the phone and called Jess. She needed his permission if she was going to do this. He’d already spent so much time helping her go over the book. But, it was finished and despite some final touches, she knew that this story deserved to be read by a far bigger audience than what his printing press could find.
**************
Four Months Later
***************
Logan stared at his still full coffee cup. His mind was whirling with all sorts of thoughts, but mostly memories of the past twelve years of his life. There really was only one constant thread and he’d let her walk away from him again. But, he didn’t want to tie her to him if she didn’t want him. Logan wanted Rory to come to him of her own free will. But, his conversation with Finn from the other night came back to him
What are you afraid of Logan? What’s the worse she can do? Reject you again?
He knew his friend was right. It couldn’t get any worse than where they were at. He was dating—no engaged to a woman who he felt nothing for. Yes, the sex was good, and she ticked all the right boxes, but there was little emotion to their union. They didn’t share the passion and comfort that made him keep coming back to Rory time and time again.
He stared at his untouched coffee and pushed it across the table. His mind was made up.
“I want to leave this place. Being here, it’s just not worth it anymore?” Logan said to his father.
Mitchum put down his newspaper and took off his spectacles and stared curiously at his son. “Have you been drinking? It’s not even 9am? Was it the reunion with those ridiculous friends of yours? You’ve been sulking for the past few months.”
“One, they aren’t ridiculous. They have been more like a family than anyone in this god forsaken house ever has been.”
Mitchum rolled his eyes and said, “Not this again. I thought this phase was over.” He looked at him carefully. “Is this about that Gilmore girl? She is like a habit you can’t seem to kick?”
Logan stood up and placed his hands firmly on the table and said, “Her name’s Rory and frankly being with her has been the only real joy I’ve known in my entire life.”
“You’ll get bored of her eventually. Love is a fallacy, boy.”
Logan sighed and did his best to reign in his temper. “I’m out. Take it all. I don’t want it,” he said.
The first call he made was to Rory, but it went straight to voicemail. He hung up. He had no idea what he’d tell her. I just threw my entire future into a dumpster fire because I love you. But, that was cheesy and something he knew she wouldn’t want to here. The second call he made was to his lawyer. He needed to find out exactly how air tight his trust-fund was because for the foreseeable future it was his only source of income until he could string together some sort of a job. The last thing he did was book a flight to New York City to track down the love of his life.
*************
The next day Lorelai was busy flipping the channels trying to figure out what her and Luke were going to watch when she heard on a knock on the door. Luke was busy in the kitchen whipping a quick dinner. She opened the door to find Logan Huntzberger standing on her doorstep with an ugly plant in his hand.
“This is surprise.”
“Do you know where I can find Rory? She won’t take my calls and I really need to see her?”
Her face lit up. She had hoped that Rory would get in contact with the boy, but it was clear she had done nothing of the sort and the clock was ticking. He deserved to know the truth and she knew her daughter wasn’t going to take the leap of telling him the truth. While she understood her fear, she always believed that Rory was braver than that. But, at least the other half of this equation had the guts that her daughter seemed to be lacking at the moment.
“Come in Logan. You must be hungry?”
“It’s okay. I just need to find her?”He said as he gripped the plant he held in his hands.
Lorelai reached for the plant and he tugged on it. “Can you put that ugly thing down and have a glass of water.”
She went into the kitchen and got him a glass of water. “Drink this. You look pale.”
“So, I’m guessing you finally grew a pair and decided to finally end this cycle of stupidity you and my daughter have found yourself in. I get it. Been there done that, over it. If I tell you where she is, I need to know that you are not going to flake out on her.”
“You don’t need to worry about me. I make no guarantees about your daughter.”
Lorelai couldn’t mask the smirk that came across her face. This boy knew her daughter far better than she liked to give him credit for. She sat there and looked at him. Lorelai wanted to break the news to him, but he’d find out soon enough. The last time she went up to visit her daughter, she was showing.
“Are you going to tell me where I can find Rory or are we going to just stare at each other all day?”Logan asked impatiently.
“You’re lucky, I like you kid.”
Logan merely shrugged. He was well past any desire to make Lorelai Gilmore like him. Rory was a grown woman and if she couldn’t see past her mothers opinion of him then this thing with them would never work.
“Honestly, it doesn’t matter either way. I’m not here for you. I need to see Rory. Your daughter and I we have a history. No matter how far she runs from it or how many times I’m too scared too push her away again, we always find our way back. I’m just tired of letting her run. So, if you aren’t going to help me find her then I don’t see the point of this conversation.”
Lorelai nodded and got up to the table in the corner and scrawled something on a piece of pink stationary. She folded it up and gave it to him. “This is her last known address. She’s taking time to figure out some things, so I’m not totally sure if she is still there.”
Logan gets up and walks to the door, but Lorelai stops him. “You’ve surprised me. I think I might have misjudged you.”
He turns his head and said, “of course you have. When you look at me, all you see is the life you left behind.”
Logan smiles at her softly and walks out the door, leaving a shocked Lorelai standing in her living room.