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Some people say that when your boss is on vacation, you can allow yourself to slack a little, to not worry about getting caught not doing your job properly.
That is not the case of Jo Yeong. The moment he finds out that the King has gone missing in the forest behind the palace, a heavy weight falls on his shoulders as the Captain of the Royal Guard for his failure to protect the King.
Even worse, a heavy feeling settles in his heart when he understands just how bad the situation his friend is in. Missing from the palace, impossible to contact and unguarded, who knows what kind of dangers he will face?
Jo Yeong is a failure. A miserable failure of a friend, of a bodyguard, and everything that goes in between.
Nevertheless he keeps his front, attempting to push back the uneasy feelings that rush through him whenever he wonders where the King could be. There are duties to be fulfilled around the castle and outside that cannot be ignored until Lee Gon comes back.
His first duty is to hire a new PR woman that Lady Noh seems to know very well and actually letting her go through his personal phone - the absolute horror, really, with how comfortable she is with making fun of him barely a day into her job despite making heart eyes at him just a day ago. He doesn’t understand exactly what she wants with him, and it just makes him feel uncomfortable instead of happy to have a new person around in the palace.
On the first night of the King’s disappearance, Jo Yeong is already exhausted by the overwhleming worriness, his crushing sense of duty that fuels spirals of self-deprecating thoughts and the uneasy sense that, having been used to being around the King all the time, his reclusiveness has made him unable to trust anyone else nor make any friends at all.
He is alone, powerless, and the emptiness in the great office’s chair serves only as a reminder of what he is losing.
——
It's so dark outside it might as well be a pitch black box.
Still Jo Yeong treads the forest paths between Point Six and Point Seven for the second night in a row, desperate to find clues and now beyond the point of being worried. His thoughts have been the only company that aren’t scared of him in the last two days, which leads him to think of how much he, more than anyone he knows, narrows his sole existence to his job and a missing man.
There is also the problem of his entire existence being put into question, fuelled by his spiralling thoughts more than anything else. Having been used to being the background for Lee Gon’s radiant image, he is now at the center of the attention when someone asks how the King is doing. It has made him prickly during any kind of interaction when he walks around the castle grounds in the last two days.
With a flashlight in one hand and a leashed search dog in the other, surely nothing and no one should - can escape the renowned Captain Jo Yeong.
It hasn't happened before, and it will not happen this time either. Everything will quickly go back to the way everything was once this is over.
He whistles softly, hoping to get the attention of Maximus - if even she is around somewhere. She would never leave the King's side, so surely if Jo Yeong finds her, he can find him as well.
There's suddenly a rustling in the shadows. Jo Yeong trades his flashlight for his gun, scanning the ground around him.
A white light flashes in the corner of his eyes and he immediately turns around, weapon loaded.
The dog snarls, but nobody comes around from the darkness. An animal brushes his ankle, startling the bodyguard, and then nothing but silence comes back to envelope him. A flickering lamplight in the forest that will have to be replaced, maybe.
Jo Yeong keeps walking on the path the special team marked during the afternoon. Maybe, if there are less people around, Lee Gon would be more open to show himself. Maybe the King had bad nights and hid? Had his nightmares worsened? Or maybe it’s something so stupid, like Maximus running away from the royal stables and the King trying to catch her by himself?
If so, did he get injured? Lost? Both him and Jo Yeong have lived at the palace their whole lives, how could the King get lost? Did he get injured and bled out?
No, Jo Yeong refuses to think about this. Lee Gon is alive and well, probably sleeping.
Yes, that’s it. He probably just fell asleep in the forest and can’t make his way back home.
Jo Yeong puts a foot in front of the other, breathing through his nose, and arrives in a completely uncovered area, somewhere so deep in the forest he is almost sure he’s never seen. Jo Yeong feels naked and exposed - but instead of being repulsed, he finds his tense shoulders relaxing, his hard front crumbling under the many eyes of the stars.
It’s just another night
And I’m staring at the moon
From there, who knows how far from the castle, the night sky above him is a blanket where he can admire the many beauties of space. A fleeting star crosses the view above him, and in his stargazing state Jo Yeong can only think of it at a wave from Lee Gon to soothe his fears.
I saw a shooting star
And thought of you
He knows that it is superstitious and almost crazy, but the last two days have been experiences of such repressed emotional highs that he cannot, does not have the will to stop the tears streaming down his face.
If you were here
I'd sing to you
And while Lee Gon is somewhere out there, Jo Yeong briefly wonders what they would be doing if his King was by his side at this very moment. He imagines the older man talking about the maths of light travel time and the distance between each star, and Jo Yeong would listen and make a snarky comment about light travel time being slower than the speed at which he talks.
I wonder, do you see them too?
—————————
On the fifth day of the King’s disappearnace, Jo Yeong can count on ten fingers the number of hours of restful sleep during the week. He’s gulped down more cups of coffee than he can count and his hands are slightly shaky, but not a single one of these things has stopped him from searching the entire world for his King.
And then -
And then -
“Captain! Captain! Someone on a horse has been encountered in the forest!”
I can hear your heart
On the radio beat
He nearly pushes another guard to the floor to take a look at the security cameras. Indeed, it’s the King perched on Maximus, and from the images provided by the cameras he looks fine. As long as he is not injured.
Jo Yeong bolts out of the bunker, his mind barely registering his surroundings.
And all of the lights will lead
Into the night with me
A chorus of is he safe and where was he rings endlessly in his ears, his breath only catching when he stands in front of his King. He’s aware of the footsteps behind him, and still his betraying eyes fill with tears of relief. His heart constricts, too, with a feeling he knows all too well, but has also hidden very well.
And I know these scars will bleed
Lee Gon jumps off his horse with an indecipherable expression and the guards lower their heads in respect, and Jo Yeong uses the opportunity to hide a few stray tears. The King asks for the guards to leave the forest except for Jo Yeong. What is he exactly plotting, when Prime Minister Koo is still waiting in the palace?
“Yeong-ah.”
“Yes, Pyeha?” Jo Yeong, deciding he has managed to compose himself enough to not break down like a baby, levels his gaze with his King.
(I looked across and fell in love)
Lee Gon’s face cracks in a smile brighter than the stars shining over them, and Jo Yeong’s stomach knots and his heart races. “Can I kiss you?”
But both of our hearts believe
“Pyeha -” But Jo Yeong reaches up to curl his hand around Lee Gon’s neck and Lee Gon’s breath hitches as they close their eyes and-
All of these stars will guide us home
- and, well, if the King’s hair is a bit unruly when he shows up, bashful but very late, to his office, and a bodyguard whose shoulder pads can barely stay in place when he moves nor dares to lowers his sunglasses inside, that’s not Lady Noh’s or anyone’s business at all.
—————————
Late into the night, Lee Gon is disturbed from his sleep when he feels a hand skimming his skin.
He blinks the sleep out of his eyes, noticing from the view outside it's still very dark out, and there are soft whimpers coming from behind him. The stroking - trembling - hand is tracing his bare arm now and although he can't see his lover's features, he turns around to wipe the tears from the man's cheeks. "Yeongie, did you sleep at all?"
"I'm okay. It's just a little bit of sadness."
Lee Gon suspects that his bodyguard - his lover, his everything, how did I ignore these feelings for so long - is trying to pretend the heavy eye bags he wears are normal. The little care that the Captain has forced himself under in the last days twists his heart in the worst way possible way, even more when Lee Gon realizes it’s all because of him, for him.
"Yeongie, what time is it? How long have you been awake?"
"It's one-fifteen. Go back to sleep, I'll be fine. I'll fall asleep soon."
"I'm sorry I caused you to worry like this." The King's heart breaks a little more with every stifled sob and every tear that comes out to dampen the pillow beneath. How could he have been so careless?
He can't imagine all the things that went through Jo Yeong's mind while he was away. "Yeongie, can I hug you?"
That, at least, gets a little pause between the tears. He feels his lover's head going up and down more than he sees it before he pulls the younger man in an embrace. They hold each other through the night, reassured of the other’s presence, and Lee Gon makes a vow when he cracks an eye open to see the sunrise.
Everything, every path will always lead back to you, Jo Yeong.